12

To avoid Chris, Olivia had made a new spot for herself on a different level of the library. The fifth floor of Lauinger was dead quiet, unlike her former study spot, but at least no one could harass her there without being shushed and getting some very stern looks.

She’d been working there while waiting for Ella’s last lecture of the day to finish, and she’d successfully gone the whole day without any awkward run-ins. Olivia thought she was home free, but it was wishful thinking.

After packing her things away, she headed to the stairs and was walking down them when she bumped into Riley, Asher, and Chris.

“Olivia,” Riley greeted her with a broad smile.

With her lavender hair, concert T-shirt, and ripped jeans, she couldn’t have looked more different to Olivia, who was wearing a black sweater tucked into high-waisted corduroy pants.

“Hi,” Olivia replied, letting her gaze land on Chris for only a second before focusing on her half-sister.

She’d done a good job of avoiding him in the two weeks since their fight, and she hated that their first interaction since then had to be in front of others.

Riley’s hair was hanging over her shoulder in a messy braid, and she started playing with the end of it. “Did you get my message about grabbing a coffee sometime?”

Olivia adjusted the strap of her bag. “Yeah, I did.” Her first reaction to the text had been that she wasn’t interested, but as the day wore on, she’d surprisingly found herself more open to the idea, which is why she asked, “When were you thinking?”

Riley’s eyes widened in surprise, and Olivia didn’t blame her. She’d shown no interest in hanging out with her half-sister until now. “Oh, I’m not sure. Maybe we could meet up in the morn—” Her words cut off as she looked over her shoulder in a sharp movement like something had given her a fright.

Only there was nothing behind her.

Olivia’s brows pulled together. “Riley?”

Asher stepped closer to his girlfriend and wrapped an arm around her waist. He looked behind her as well, his expression more concerned than confused.

Riley turned back, but she looked distracted, her gaze not quite fixing on Olivia. “I’m sorry. I need to go.”

“But—”

“We can organize another time,” she said, already rushing past Olivia with Asher in tow.

“Um, okay,” Olivia murmured with a confused shake of her head. So much for Riley really wanting to hang out.

She started down the stairs but was stopped again, this time by Chris.

“Olivia,” he said when she was on the same step as him.

She halted her descent and turned to him with a clenched jaw. “Did you need something?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. Olivia did her best not to notice the way his bicep flexed as he did so, showing off the physique he’d gotten from playing football.

“Could we talk?” he asked.

“About what?”

“About what happened after we went rock climbing.”

Olivia lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “There’s nothing to talk about. We both agreed it’s best to keep our distance.”

He let out an audible exhale. “Look, I shouldn’t have said what I did. I don’t hate you.”

“You just feel like you should,” she reminded him. “And that’s fine.”

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” he asked. “Because you’re okay with us going back to how it was before?”

Olivia bit the inside of her cheek and looked away. “I refuse to go where I’m not wanted.”

Chris stepped closer, invading her space in a way that managed to be comforting rather than threatening. “What if I don’t want things to go back?” he asked. “What if I liked how things were before that day?”

Olivia nearly let herself be convinced. She was so tempted to believe he wanted something other than chilly tension between them, but she knew it was nothing more than a poorly thought-out fantasy. She met his brown-eyed gaze with steel in her heart.

“And will you tell your parents or Paige that you’re hanging out with me?” she asked, already knowing the answer. “Will you stop feeling like you’re betraying your brother by being around me?”

Chris dropped his gaze, answering the question with his silence.

Olivia nodded, feeling oddly defeated despite already knowing what his response would be. “Exactly. I don’t blame you for wanting nothing to do with me. It hurts,” she admitted. “But I can’t hold it against you. Which is why I’m not going to try to force a friendship that we both know you actually don’t want.”

“I’m sorry,” Chris said.

“For what?” Olivia asked. “I’m the one who should be sorry, not you.”

She continued down the stairs, grateful when he didn’t call out to her and draw out the painful goodbye. Everything she’d said to him was true. Though she was still upset about how things had gone down, she couldn’t blame Chris for any of it.

It fucking hurt having to demolish all the progress they’d made, but Olivia had no one else to blame but herself.

◆◆◆

“Are you enjoying it there?”

“Loving it,” Amy replied. “My classes are all awesome, and I’ve made so many amazing friends.”

“That’s great,” Olivia said, forcing as much false enthusiasm into the words as she could.

She stood up from her bed and closed her curtains on the now-dark sky.

“And you?” Amy asked. “How are things on your side?”

“Good.” It was the most Olivia wanted to say about how she was doing. At least over the phone. “Hey, are you free to meet up this weekend?”

Getting her best friend on the phone had been a feat in itself, but Olivia really could use some face-to-face time with her.

“Oh…uh, I’m not sure. Things are looking pretty busy.”

Olivia smiled tightly. The response was expected, but it still managed to cut deep. “No worries. Maybe another time.”

“Absolutely,” Amy said. “Anyway, I have some work to do, but it was nice catching up.”

“Yeah,” Olivia replied unenthusiastically. They’d spoken for less than five minutes. It wasn’t exactly the catching up she’d had in mind.

“Bye.”

Amy hung up, and Olivia fell back on her bed with a sigh. She took her glasses off, placing them carelessly on her bedside table, and pinched the bridge of her nose. So much for best friends.

“That went well,” she murmured to her ceiling.

Thank God she had Ella. Otherwise, she would have truly felt pathetic after that disaster. Even if Amy didn’t seem to want much to do with her anymore, Ella had proved to be a better friend than Amy might have ever been.

Still, Olivia was feeling disgustingly sorry for herself when someone knocked on her door several minutes later.

“Yeah?” she called out, assuming it was her dad or maybe her mother.

There was a pause before the person spoke. “It’s me.”

Her muscles tensed, and she sat up wide-eyed.

“Olivia?” he asked after too many seconds had passed.

She blew out a ragged breath and stood. Her stomach was knotted, maybe with nerves, maybe with something else, as she walked to the door. She opened it to reveal Chris standing with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans.

“Hi,” he said.

She swallowed. “Hi.”

“Can I come in?”

Olivia looked over her shoulder, grateful to see she hadn’t left any dirty laundry on the floor. “Okay,” she replied, hesitantly stepping to the side to give him space to walk past her.

She closed the door behind him and turned to find him taking in the sparsely decorated room. Olivia had never been one to hoard, and she preferred to keep things as uncluttered as possible. The only thing on her desk was her laptop and a wooden jewelry box.

Chris took in the rest of the room before turning his attention to her. “I came to say I’m sorry.”

Olivia pinched her lips together and shook her head. “I already told you earlier that you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“That’s not true,” he argued, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair. “I shouldn’t have let Paige speak to you like that.”

Olivia looked to the side and crossed her arms over her chest. “She can speak to me however she likes.”

“Even if that were true, I should have stood up for you.”

Her gaze snapped back to meet his. Of all the things he could have said, that was maybe the most unexpected. “Why would you defend me?”

Chris stepped forward and wrapped his fingers gently around her forearms. She tensed at first, but the tightness in her muscles eased when he tugged her arms away from her chest before releasing them. It was as though he was trying to span the emotional gap between them by removing the physical barrier she’d put up.

“Because she was wrong,” he told her. “When she said no one in our family wants anything to do with you, she was wrong.”

Olivia searched his face, looking for some kind of sign that would reveal what exactly he meant by that.

“She was wrong because I want to sit with you at our table in the library again.”

Disappointment made her stomach sink, but he wasn’t done.

“She was wrong because I want to go rock climbing with you again and celebrate with you when you reach the top of the wall a second, third, and fourth time.”

Olivia’s lips parted, and her next breath trembled.

“She was wrong because I want to be your friend,” he continued, stepping closer and brushing her hair behind her ear.

Olivia’s eyes didn’t leave his, the tension between them making it impossible for her to even think about doing anything but stare up at him. He was touching her. Not in the way a friend would touch a friend but in the way that had hope rising in her chest and butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

“But, fuck, Liv. I also want so much more,” Chris whispered.

Olivia was struck speechless, but it turned out she didn’t need to say anything. Chris placed his fingers beneath her chin and tilted her face up, his eyes never leaving hers. She had the chance to let out a soundless gasp before he lowered his head and kissed her with a brush of lips that managed to be both soft and frenzied.

Olivia’s lips parted beneath his, and Chris breathed in her exhale. Without even thinking about it, she lifted on her toes and wrapped her hands around his neck. Encouraged by her reaction, he pressed his mouth harder against hers.

She already felt dizzy, but when his hands landed on her waist and he pulled her into him, Olivia felt a shock of pleasure dance from her core down to her toes. It was only a kiss, but her body was reacting as though it were so much more.

Olivia moaned, and he rewarded her by stroking his tongue into her mouth. He tasted like peppermint, and he smelled faintly of cologne. He felt like a dream come to life. A dream that got even better when a groan rumbled deep in his throat and he murmured, “Liv,” against her lips.

Her lips curved up even as he kissed her harder. It felt like flying. Like soaring. And just when Olivia thought it couldn’t get better, Chris walked them back until her back was pressed against the closed door before kissing his way down to her throat.

She could feel the hard muscles of his chest against her softer curves. She could feel the way the kiss was affecting him just as much as it was affecting her. She could feel the heat of him.

He pushed himself harder against her. “Fuck, Liv,” he murmured into her neck.

Olivia’s back arched, and her eyes fluttered open.

What had possibly been the greatest moment of her life splintered and fell to her feet in a resounding crash that only she could hear. Drew met her gaze over Chris’s shoulder, his eyes dark in the face of her betrayal.

He disappeared with a disappointed shake of his head, but the voice in Olivia’s head didn’t give her the same courtesy. It reminded her that Chris didn’t know everything. That if he knew what she was hiding, he never would have kissed her. It reminded her that she didn’t deserve his apologies. That she didn’t deserve him.