Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

We were walking out of the cabin, on our way to the party, when Charlie said, "He still smells like a boy, but now he smells like you, too." Then he looked directly at Kicks and added, "Piper asked me if you smelled like a girl. Don't worry, because I told her you didn't."

"I was just trying to understand how different his sense of smell was from mine," I said.

"Yeah, she wanted to know if everyone smelled different and if boys smelled different than girls."

Okay, Charlie hadn't meant to throw me under the bus. I'd have to let him live to see his next birthday.

"And if you ever smelled different, like a girl."

"Well, thank you for that," Kicks replied. "It was quite a favor you did me. Can't imagine how your sister would've handled it if I did smell like a girl."

"Girls aren't that bad. She probably would've been okay with it," Charlie said.

"I'm not so sure about that, but I guess we don't have to find out."

I wanted to crawl under the nearest bush. I would've if that wouldn't make me even more of a spectacle. Still, I was a beacon of flashing red light with my cheeks glowing.

"I think that came out differently than what I asked him," I said. They'd better have wine at this party.

Charlie faced me with a small look of indignation. "But that's what you said."

"Okay, well, it's not important right now. We have to get ready to go to your party."

I tried to focus on the gathering hall, the largest building in the community, up ahead. They'd hung glowing lanterns all along the porch, warm and inviting. It had almost a magical appearance.

It wouldn't matter how beautifully they'd decorated if the place was empty. I couldn't see a body through the window as we approached, and the only thing I heard was the sound of the river running nearby.

We should've had it at the cabin. Why had I agreed to let this be a huge affair? What if no one showed up and Charlie was sitting there in the middle of an empty room? On. His. Birthday. My parenting tally sheet was really going to take a hit with this one.

My palms were sweating as Charlie, Kicks, and I walked up the stairs. Everyone had been invited, but I didn't know how many would actually come. Evangeline had insisted on preparing as if the whole pack would show up, and now we'd have nothing but wasted food.

We walked in the doors and suddenly bodies were jumping up from behind tables, partitions, and walls, yelling out, "Happy birthday!"

Charlie's smile was so wide it nearly split his face in two.

He looked up at me. "They're all here for me?" he asked, as if he couldn't believe that so many people would come for his birthday.

"Yes. It's your party. Who else would they be here for?" It was a battle not to cry from happiness. I'd been terrified of coming here, being accepted, having Charlie accepted. Yet they were all here, celebrating my child's birthday.

Coming here was the right choice. I'd finally found him a pack that he could grow up with. We were home. It would be okay.

"Let's greet your guests," I said to him, although I wasn't sure where to start. I didn't know most of the people here myself.

Kicks stepped closer, holding out his hand to Charlie as I hesitated. "Come on, we'll do it together," he said.

He glanced back at me when I didn't move to go with them.

"I'm good. You two go ahead." Charlie was a shifter now. I wanted the pack to see him as one, without the reminder of his human sister always there. I wanted them to embrace him the way they'd never accept me.

Evangeline popped out of the crowd and appeared by my side before I'd stood there alone long enough to feel awkward.

"I told you we'd need lots of food." She leaned a little closer, her nostrils flaring. "Wow, how long and hard were you two going at it?"

"What do you mean?" I said, glancing around, hoping not too many people were listening to this. It was one thing for them to believe Kicks wanted me and another to have the whole place think we were banging like bunnies.

"You and Kicks have obviously found your groove and worn it out pretty good." She laughed.

I'd wanted his scent, but could he have overdone it? I scanned the crowd to see if anyone was looking at us.

"Don't worry," Evangeline said. "With this much talking and noise, it makes it hard to single out one voice." She stared at me as if waiting for details.

"You could say we had a moment." That was all she was getting. There was no way I was divulging the lows I was stooping to.

"That must've been one hell of a moment. You guys must really click in bed, because I've never smelled such a strong scent on anyone that he's slept with, ever. If you were a fire hydrant, and he were a dog, there wouldn't be a dry spot on you."

Ever? Did that include his past mate? No matter how much I wanted that tidbit confirmed, I bit my tongue. He'd loved her and she was gone. It felt too sacred to gossip over, even if part of me wanted some snippet to prove he cared for me on some level.

It shouldn't matter anyway, since we hadn't even slept together. I was getting wrapped up in my own charade.

"Maybe it just rubs off on me stronger for some reason. Maybe it interacts with humans differently."

"Nope," she said. "It's actually the reverse. Humans don't hold on to the scent as well. The only way you could smell that strongly of him is if he's utterly obsessed with you. I wish I had a guy as interested in me as he must be in you." She fell silent, her forehead furrowing as she sipped a glass of wine.

I grabbed a glass off a nearby tray, feeling the need to join her. The more she said, the more of a con artist I felt. I was going to have to tell her when we were alone.

"Come on," she said, motioning to the room. "I'll introduce you to everyone you haven't met yet so they don't have to crane their necks from across the room and pretend they aren't staring."

At least half the pack was in the building, and the other half was lingering out on the lawn. I'd already forgotten the names of most of the people I'd said hello to. I spoke to so many people I barely had a chance to eat. By the second hour, no one was looking at me weird or hesitantly anymore. It was as if they'd taken my measure and decided what they'd heard couldn't be true. I was no longer a monster.

I'd gotten cornered by an older couple asking me questions about what New York was like before Death Day when Evangeline called out from the center of the room, "Everyone! It's time for the cake!"

A path was made as two shifters carried out a large cake that would put the most over-the-top wedding to shame. It had three different tiers, with a train running up tracks around it. It was lit up with six candles that looked as big as small logs. Evangeline didn't seem to do anything small.

Charlie ran over from where he'd been playing with his new friends as we all gathered around the cake.

His face was pure joy, and then a little worry line marred his forehead. "Where's Piper's candles?"

"I don't need candles. It's your birthday, Charlie. Go ahead, blow them out." I would've blown them out for him just to move the attention back off me.

"But we were supposed to have our birthdays together?" he said.

"But this one is yours." We'd obviously inherited the same stubborn gene.

"Don't worry. We'll do something for your sister's birthday too," Kicks said from behind me.

Normally I sensed his presence like I had a built-in sonar, but the crowd must've thrown me off.

Charlie smiled, as if he had every confidence that Kicks would handle it. He blew out his candles and the room cheered. Then someone handed him a present, and then another, and I was beginning to think this night would never end.

About halfway through the present openings, Kicks grabbed my hand, pulling me along after him out the back of the building.

"Why didn't you tell me about your birthday?" he asked, his hand still wrapped around mine.

"It wasn't important. It's not even that close to his." I took a step away, and he pulled me right back.

"I think it is. When is it? If you don't tell me, I'll just ask Charlie. I bet he tells me." He was smirking in a way that made my insides go soft.

I sighed. "Three weeks from now." He might only be six today, but that kid's memory was a vault. The only reason I'd been keeping track of the days was so I didn't forget Charlie's.

"We need to mark the day, and before you try to get out of it, it'll upset Charlie if we don't." Kicks moved a hair closer, his eyes locked to mine until they dropped to my lips. His hand curved around the back of my neck as his head dropped closer and he breathed deeply. "I'm becoming nearly obsessed with your scent."

Would it be so wrong if we did enjoy ourselves a little? Maybe I was riding a high from the night going so well and it was making me unrealistic, but at this moment, I wanted him to kiss me.

"Piper? Are you out here?" Evangeline called from around the corner. "Oh, come on! You guys have been busy enough, and you're sneaking out at a party now too? Sorry, but she's mine." She was almost in between us, and Kicks stepped back. "You have to meet Zetti. She's been waiting to say hello to you all night. She's the oldest member of the pack. Although we all love her dearly, she's not going to stop nudging me until I bring you over to say hello."

"Of course."

Evangeline grabbed my arm, tugging me along with her. We weaved our way through the crush of the hall and toward the corner, where an older lady was holding court. Her hair was still jet black, but there were fine lines at the corners of her mouth and eyes. It didn't matter. She had the type of bone structure that would make her a beauty until she died.

"Zetti, this is Piper, Kicks' mate and the new guide."

She smiled. "I'm so glad you came. You're exactly what Kicks and this pack needs in these rough times."

"Thank you. I hope so." The pressure that came with being a guide continually added to the overwhelming stress of being a disappointment. Somehow my just being here seemed to give a pack more comfort, but it was beginning to feel like a scam to me.

Zetti looked at me, and quite suddenly there was a flicker in her eyes that didn't seem to match the smile. It was there and gone before I was sure I'd even seen it. Was it actually there, or had I imagined it because my hackles were constantly rising these days? Was I seeing demons everywhere I looked? Was I the problem?

"Here. I brought this for you. It's been in my family for generations." She handed me a bag, and I pulled out a beautiful knit wool blanket. It was covered in a myriad of different stitches that created an intricate and beautiful pattern.

"It's beautiful." I ran my hand over the wool, sensing how precious it was. "Are you sure?"

"I don't have children, so it feels only right that it will be in the alpha's family now. It was made by my great-great-grandmother in the old country."

"The old country?" I asked.

"The tip of the Scottish Highlands," Evangeline replied. "That's where most of our bloodlines come from."

"If you ever change your mind and decide you want it back, just tell me. I'd completely understand." I tucked the blanket back into its bag, silently chastising myself for doubting the woman's intentions. I was becoming so jaded I saw evil everywhere.

"No. It's yours. Once you give a gift, you don't take it back." She pointed at me, as if chastising younger people was a usual thing for her.

"Thank you so much. I'll treasure it." I would, too. It might've been one of the nicest things I'd ever gotten.

"It's the least I could do for—" Her words broke off as a gurgling sound came from her throat.

Her mouth was frozen as if in mid-gasp, her lips becoming tinged gray, that ugly slug color of my victims.

No. It couldn't be. But as I stood there, almost as frozen as she was, I watched as that horrible color took over her entire face.

Her eyes were wide with shock and horror. She might've screamed if she could've moved her face, but the gray spread too fast. Her body jerked and then she fell over before my brain could fully process what was happening. Had I killed her? I must've, but how? I hadn't even touched her, had I?

I was staring at her body, realizing the room had gone completely silent, as if we were all in a state of shock. I could feel my body shaking.

A scream pierced the silence and everyone seemed to swarm at once, gathering around Zetti and then staring at me.

"What did you do?" a female shifter asked.

"I don't know. I don't know," I mumbled. I took a step back from my crime.

"The rumors were true. She's a monster," someone else said, not quite a whisper but almost as if they were too shocked to speak loudly.

I could hear the whispers increasing.

"They were right," another person said a bit louder.

Where was Charlie? I had to get him out of here. I scanned the room frantically as I felt an arm wrap around my waist. Even if I hadn't recognized his scent, there was only one person who would be brave enough to touch me right now.

"Magnum, get Charlie out of here. Don't leave his side," Kicks said. "Buddie, Rastin, take Piper out of here and back to the cabin and stay there with her."

"She needs to be killed," someone said.

"No one is touching her," Kicks said, then steered me toward the door. " Piper ." His tone was sharp enough to pull me from my panic and draw my eyes to his. His hand was on my face. "Go back to the cabin with Buddie and Rastin. Now."

I nodded, still feeling numb but knowing he was right. I had to get out of here. One glance at the crowd showed it was about to get out of control.

He gave me a push toward the door, where Buddie and Rastin stood waiting.

They were as speechless as me. Buddie opened the door while he scanned the crowd, looking anxious to get out of there. The two of them flanked me as we got outside, both continuing to scan the area as if we'd be attacked at any moment.

The cold winter breeze on my skin seemed to heighten my awareness and jolt me out of my shock. "I don't know what happened. I didn't try to kill her. I didn't even touch her."

"Were you upset?" Rastin asked.

"No."

"It was a mistake," Buddie said. "Something out of your control."

He was keeping enough distance between us that there couldn't be an accidental brushing of hands. I caught a look between the two of them. He was scared of me. They both were.

"Yeah, it was an accident. It'll be okay," Rastin added, trying to cover up the horror I'd just seen on his face.

He never told me things were okay. Rastin saying it was going to be okay told me one thing: this was so bad it would never be okay again.

I hadn't even touched her, but it might not matter. They were all so convinced it was me that it might as well have been.

They were convinced because she'd died the same way I had killed others.

Could it have been me? Was I getting to where I could kill without a touch? And where had Death been? If someone was going to die, I'd hear her steps. The only time I didn't hear her approach was when I killed them. So had it been me?

We all went silent. None of us spoke again as we walked into the cabin.

The sounds of a game playing came from Charlie's room. Magnum was in there, distracting him. How much had he seen? Did he even know why'd he'd been rushed out of his birthday?

I walked over to the couch and dropped onto it. I wanted to hide in the bedroom but didn't have the luxury of being rude to some of the only people who were currently willing to stand by me. For now, anyway. No one, not even me, would fault them if they walked away after this. I'd just killed again, or at least appeared to have.

The only thing that mattered was that Zetti was dead. She hadn't threatened me. She hadn't even hated me. She'd given me a present, and I might've killed her. I'd thought I had it worked out, that I only killed when I was threatened, but now…

I stood abruptly and then froze as Rastin and Buddie immediately jerked their heads toward me, as if on guard.

"I'll be back in a second. I just want to change my clothes," I said, motioning toward the bedroom.

"Take your time. We'll be here," Rastin said.

Buddie nodded, as if they were as eager for me to go as I was to get some space.

I moved slowly around the couch, afraid they'd run if I made any sudden movements. These men, these shifters who could become monsters, were terrified of me. They were more worried over what I could do. I shut the door to the bedroom and sat on the bed, feeling too numb to cry or yell or do much of anything.

No, not just numb. There was another feeling inside me as well—a cold chill, a bleak darkness. Was this depression? I couldn't rule it out. After what had just happened, it would be foolish to expect to feel anything remotely normal.

I sat on the edge of the bed and didn't move again, losing track of time and not caring about anything else. All I could think about was Zetti dying.