Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

I'd gone from afraid of falling into bed with Kicks to wondering if he wanted to bed me at all. Once again I'd fallen asleep and woken alone. Did he have a girlfriend here? A side piece? Had he already picked up with her in the short time we'd been back? He wasn't sleeping here at night, so what else could he be doing? Could I even get mad when I'd told him we were nothing more than business?

I eyed up Charlie, who was sitting in the living room and setting up the tracks of his train. I'd given it to him for his birthday this morning, and he'd insisted that it should run around the perimeter of the living room and spent a good chunk of the afternoon figuring out the best path.

"Charlie, how well can you smell?" I asked.

"Good," he said, not looking up from changing out two links of track.

"Like, do I smell different than other women here?"

"You smell like you. No one else smells like you. Everyone smells different." He held up part of his train, turning it this way and that.

"Is it because of lotions and stuff?" I said, pressing a little further.

"Just you," he said, not taking his eyes off his train.

"What about Kicks? Does he smell different?"

"Everyone does." Charlie looked up at me as if something was clicking in his head. "Why?"

I shouldn't have dragged him into this, even unknowingly. He might only be a kid, but those wheels were turning. But how did I not use his small super senses for this?

"I was just curious."

"You know, Buddie said you can't smell like us, but I wasn't sure."

"No, I can't." The tension left my body. What was I thinking? He was turning six. He had no idea what I was doing. "So Kicks doesn't smell like anyone else? He never smells like a girl?"

Charlie looked up at me, his face scrunched up as if that was the worst thing I could possibly ever say about a boy. "No."

"Hello?" Evangeline called out as she walked into the living room. "Sorry I didn't knock. We don't do that here. Shifters usually hear people coming, so knocking tends to be redundant. I'll try to do it if it bothers you."

"Yeah, I noticed that at the other pack that no one knocked much there either. I've adjusted."

"Whew," she said, her eyes widening. "That's good, because I didn't want to have to start knocking." She looked down at Charlie. "Cool train!"

"Thank you!" He beamed up at her.

"I've got some stuff for you for the party tonight," she said, holding up a bag.

"Oh. Kicks got a few things for Charlie and I figured I'd just go like this. No?" I'd found a shirt of Kicks' and belted it like it was a dress over some pants.

She tilted her head sideways, the look on her face not hard to interpret.

"That bad?" I said.

"Not good. You really need to go pick some stuff up. We're close to the same size, so I thought I'd bring you a couple of options." She walked into the bedroom and started whipping out outfits in every color of the rainbow, all with tags. "You can keep all these."

"This looks like your entire wardrobe," I said, looking at the array spread out all over the room.

"Not even close. I was really sad after Death Day. I kept going to my restaurant every day, but no one would show up, unless they were looters. Some of them got a little handsy. I'd have to kill them, and things would get messy, so I'd go shopping afterward."

I peeked into the living room. Charlie didn't seem to care what we were talking about.

"How many did you have to kill?" I whispered.

"I don't remember the exact number. More than a few but less than ten? I always gave them a warning, but they'd look at me and not believe that I could shift into something that would absolutely destroy them. Hard to help those who won't help themselves.

"Point is, bloodstains are a bitch to get out, and I'd always pick up a few extra outfits. I did it for a while. Then I finally gave up after about a month. Might've been longer. I don't know. Those early days felt like a blur. Anyway, I've got tons of clothes. I'll drive you down into the closest city tomorrow if you want, but you can have these, so no rush."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

She dragged out more outfits, laying them down on the bed and hanging some from the trim so I could see all the options.

Evangeline turned her head to the side. "Kicks is here."

A second later I heard the front door open.

Kicks walked in the bedroom and looked around. "Hey," he said. "Nice dresses." He reached up, feeling the fabric of a particularly sexy black dress.

While he was looking at the clothing, I shot Evangeline a look toward Charlie and then nodded.

"Hey, do you care if I borrow Charlie for a second? I want to show him something," Evangeline said.

"No, not at all! Take him."

"Charlie, I've got some cupcakes I want you to test out," she added. Charlie was up and running out the door with her a few minutes later.

I spun on Kicks, who was still looking over the dresses.

I choked on the words, but this had to be done, and tonight. I wasn't walking into that party without smelling of Kicks.

"Before we go tonight, won't the pack get weird if they don't smell our scents on each other?" I got the words out and they left a boulder in my throat.

"There's plenty of circumstances that can mute it. I wouldn't worry about it."

There was no way I was walking into that party without his smell. I didn't care what he said.

"Yeah, but just to be safe so that the pack feels good about our situation, perhaps we should hug or something?"

He turned, looking speechless for a second. "Are you asking me to mark you?"

"Yes," I shot out.

"It's a little more complicated than just hugging," he said, as if I had no idea what I was asking for. "There are certain chemicals that are released during sexual excitement. Hugging you platonically isn't going to do the job."

I didn't care what he had to do. This was happening. I remembered Louise's face, the gloating in her eyes, and then worse, the other women trying to make me feel better about Kicks not wanting me and the deficits of being human.

"Well, you've said you're attracted to me. Can't you just…you know?" I rolled my hand.

"You're asking me to hump your leg?" he asked.

I didn't know if he was making a joke or mocking me. The whole thing probably seemed ridiculous to him. Maybe it was.

"I didn't mean… It was just that…" I shook my head. "Forget it. It was idiotic."

"It was just what?" he pressed.

"Nothing."

"You can't insinuate there was something and then expect me not to want to know." He crossed the room, getting closer.

"I don't want to make a big deal of it, but there might've been some people inquiring into how we were doing. There seemed to be some question of our…compatibility. Forget it, though. It doesn't matter what they think." I moved away from him, taking down some of the dresses Evangeline had hung up around the room.

It didn't matter. I mean, yes, I was a human, and they were probably saying that was the issue because all humans were like cold fish in bed. At least, that was the way they'd made it sound, but so what? So they thought I was a loser.

"Come here." He stripped off his shirt as he said it.

"No. Forget it. I didn't realize what I was asking for." The whole situation was compounding my embarrassment. "I mean, it's not that I feel bad or—"

"You don't have to explain," he said.

I gave him my back, trying to see if I could make room in the closet for all the new clothes. I'd have dug through manure shit if it made me look otherwise occupied.

"Pips, come—"

"I'm going to just get changed." I'd grabbed a random dress and moved to leave the room when his arm wrapped around me.

He grabbed the belt at my waist, undoing it.

"It's better flesh to flesh," he said. "There's a certain subtlety to the scent that they'll notice."

I couldn't even make eye contact as he began unbuttoning my shirt. My heart was pounding as he slipped it off my shoulders and it dropped to the floor.

"It's not worth doing if it's not going to be believable. There's a difference in our scents whether we're aroused or not. I'm just warning you," he said, his voice growing rougher.

I didn't stop him, although I still couldn't manage to make eye contact. I was suddenly struggling to breathe, my pulse thundering in my veins.

His arm pulled me flush to him, his skin warm and hard under my palms.

We stood silently for a minute, just breathing each other in. He put his hand under my chin, forcing my head up. I forced myself to meet his gaze, and the heat in his eyes made something melt inside me. He'd barely touched me and I was already tightly coiled, craving more.

His other arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me up higher, fitting us together until I was standing on tiptoes. I could feel his arousal pressing into me and arched into him without even thinking.

He groaned low before lifting me with one arm and cupping the back of my head with the other. He angled his mouth over mine, and my last coherent thought fled. All I could do after that was feel the intensity of our connection. My back hit the wall as his hips pressed into me, simulating the act of entering me, and I still couldn't get enough, wrapping my legs around his waist.

I was on the brink of losing all control when Kicks stiffened. He turned with me and I fell backward onto the bed, startled as he headed out of the room and shut the door.

"Hey, Charlie, how were the cupcakes?" Kicks said in the other room.

"Great, but I wanted to get back to my train."