34. Miles

34

MILES

"You're in a good mood today." Braxton's comment was borderline accusatory as she handed me a coffee and took a seat in the director's chair beside me behind the monitors.

"Am I?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Yes. All last week, you had a dark cloud hanging over you, but today, the sun is out."

Instead of commenting, I sipped my drink. The last text exchange Zoe and I had was good. She'd apologized, and I told her she had nothing to be sorry about. I hadn't wanted to overwhelm her by texting right back, though, and we hadn't spoken or texted since. I knew she was going to be coming to set and I would see her, which was why I was in such a good mood. I hadn't seen her yet, but just knowing she was here made me feel invincible. Like nothing could go wrong.

"This change of weather wouldn't have anything to do with a certain brunette mom coming to set today, would it?"

My eyes cut to hers.

"It's pretty obvious."

"Is it?" I looked around, wondering who else knew. Zoe had made it clear that she didn't want whatever happened between us to get out. She had to live here once I left.

"Not to everyone. Just me. You like her. A lot."

I wasn't going to deny it. I did.

"Is she why you turned down the role for?—"

"No," I quickly corrected her. "Zoe doesn't want anything to do with me. I turned down that role because it's not what I want. I told you. I want to take time off."

"So this thing with Zoe. Is it serious?"

"I told you, she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"She doesn't want anything to do with you?" Braxton repeated.

"No."

"And you've told her how you feel?"

"She knows."

"Have you told her?" she rephrased.

"She knows."

"Through osmosis?"

"I called her and messaged her every day the entire time we were in New Mexico. I sent her flowers. And, like you said, it's obvious. Then we had a…she got upset with me…it doesn't matter. We're okay now, but, it's not like that. She made it clear that it's not going to happen."

"Wow." Braxton shook her head.

"What?"

"I just did not think that you were that clueless."

"Clueless?"

"Yes. Clueless. As in, you have no clue. You think she's just gonna assume that you, a professional actor, have genuine feelings for her because you called and messaged her a few times and sent some flowers?"

"That's not what I…I called and messaged her every day ."

Braxton leaned toward me and lowered her voice. "She is a single mom from a small town. You are Miles Fucking Ford. You only met her because you are playing her dead husband in a movie. That might be really fucking confusing for her. If you haven't even told her you have real feelings for her, she's not going to assume you do because you message her and call her every day. She probably thinks you're just doing that because of the movie."

Shit. She might be right. I thought that what I felt was obvious, but why would it be?

"Yeah, like I said." Braxton leaned back in her chair. "Clue. Less."

Sylvia approached us as she spoke on the walkie-talkie. When she reached us, she put it down. "AJ and Kendall are here. They've done all their paperwork, and they've been through hair and makeup. They are having breakfast and are not in wardrobe yet. Do you want them to go to set now for run-through?"

"Has Shania seen them?" I asked.

"She's talking with them now."

Today, I was on set in my co-directorial role only. I wasn't shooting any scenes for the next four days. This was just going to be young Austin and young Zoe.

"After they eat, get them in wardrobe, and then we'll do a run-through and shoot."

"Sounds good." Sylvia nodded, then went back on her radio, letting the crew know the plan.

Braxton's phone rang, and she looked down. "It's Tyler. I'm going to take it, or he'll keep calling."

I nodded and finished going over the notes that Chuck needed for his shot lists today. Then I responded to all the emails that wardrobe had with questions about different looks for both AJ and Kendall. When I got done with that, I had to finalize a few last-minute script changes that Andy and Shania had made for the last couple of pick-up days we had before the talking head shoots. Once that was all done, Sylvia was radioing that the kids were ready, and cameras were up.

I stood and started walking down the hallway of the middle school. It was the same exact hallway where Austin had waited for Zoe and given her the pot of honey on the first day of school. I wondered how strange this was going to be for her.

Braxton was right that I'd just assumed she knew how I felt. I had no idea if she knew how I felt, just like I had no idea how she felt about any of this because I'd been afraid to ask her. It was wrong. I should have been there for her. I was the person who brought all this back into her life. I should have been the shoulder to cry on, the rock to lean on, the sounding board. I'd been there for her physically, but I should have been there for her emotionally and mentally. Maybe if I had, then she wouldn't have been so upset the other night at the lookout.

"Miles."

I turned around. Shania was walking down the hall with a wide smile on her face. "What?" I asked.

"They are adorable."

"I know."

I forgot that she hadn't met them up until today. I'd seen Kendall on tape and watched the two of them interact at AJ's birthday party. They had a chemistry that I hoped would translate on screen.

Within seconds of their arrival, Chuck was behind the camera, and AJ and Kendall were walking with Jessica to their marks. They both had backpacks on, and AJ was carrying the pot of honey. Ariana, Zoe, and Nadia were waiting in the wings, giving the kids space to do their thing.

I headed over to talk to Kendall and AJ as they were getting the rundown from Jessica.

"Do you guys want to run through it once more for blocking?"

"No," Kendall responded assertively. "Miss Shania already camera-blocked it with us before we went into wardrobe."

"Are you good with that, AJ?" I asked.

He nodded. I could see that he wasn't quite as confident as Kendall. In fact, he looked white as a sheet.

"Okay, Kendall, why don't you go to your mark."

Kendall nodded and walked over to the X in gaffer tape on the cement walk, which was her starting point. I sat on the flower bed next to AJ.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Okay."

His breathing was labored, and I saw his hands shaking around the pot.

"You know what?"

"What?" He looked at me.

"I bet your dad was nervous when he gave your mom the honey."

"You think?" AJ asked.

"Of course. He'd never talked to her before." I leaned closer to AJ. "Weren't you nervous before you talked to Kendall?"

He nodded.

" But he probably didn't want your mom to think he was nervous, so he was trying to hide it by making jokes and being funny. Luckily, you don't even have to come up with what to say, 'cause he already did. All you have to do is say what he said. But you can use those nerves; just try and hide them, like he did. Do you think you can do that?"

He nodded, and I saw the color return in his cheeks.

"Good. And if you mess up, it's no big deal. I mess up my lines all the time. That's why we have blooper reels. Just have fun. You got this." I made a fist with my hand, and he gave me a pound.

I made my way behind the cameras in video village and waited for Shania to yell action. Before she even spoke, I sensed Zoe beside me. Goosebumps broke out on my arm, and I smelled her fresh, floral scent.

"Is he okay?" she whispered. "He looked like he was about to throw up."

"He was just nervous."

"What did you tell him? He looks better now."

"I told him his dad was probably nervous when he talked to you for the first time, and that he probably hid it by telling jokes, so that's all he had to do, was just hide it and say what he said."

I glanced over and saw she was nodding as she stared at the monitors, waiting for the scene to start.

The first take went off without a hitch, and beside me I noticed Zoe exhale. I don't think she breathed during the entire two-minute scene. AJ didn't miss a beat. He was funny, charismatic, and the chemistry was coming through the screen.

Shania walked over and told them how amazing they were. She gave them a little note, mainly where to cheat the camera so we could see their faces better and they went back to one.

As they were resetting, I leaned over and asked Zoe, "Was he?"

"What?" she glanced up at me.

"Austin. Was he nervous?"

"Oh, no." She shook her head. "He was way too sure of himself for that. But I'm glad you told him that. If I would have thought of it, I would have said the same thing."

Damn. Even at thirteen, Austin was that confident. He really was the perfect guy. How the hell was anyone ever supposed to live up to that?