33. Zoe

33

ZOE

"Five minutes!" I called up to AJ, who was still in the shower. I could hear the water running.

It was early—only 4:45 a.m. AJ had a 5:00 a.m. call time, which was typical, apparently. I was learning a lot about making movies. For one thing, I didn't know that children needed to have a special entertainment work permit or that there would be a studio teacher on the set.

Braxton had filled me in on the entertainment work permit, and Nadia got the gig as the on-set tutor. So, for the next week, she would be AJ's teacher again. I was actually glad that she was going to be there, especially since I was required to be there as well. No minor could be on set without an appropriate adult.

It made sense to me now why they wanted to hire the child actors locally. It would have been more expensive for them to have to pay for travel, accommodations, and per diem for not only the child actor but also their guardians.

I had butterflies in my stomach as I waited downstairs for AJ. I wasn't sure if it was nerves for him or myself. I hadn't seen or spoken to Miles since I lost it on him at the lookout spot. He'd texted the day after, and I'd texted back, saying that I was fine and that I was sorry for the way I spoke to him. He said I didn't have anything to apologize for, but I hadn't heard anything from him since.

I told myself it was for the best, but I had to admit, I'd missed hearing from him. Which I knew was toxic. It should be good that he'd lost interest in me. Of course, I knew he would. He was a huge Hollywood star who made the sexiest actor lists every year; I was a single mom who spent most of her days in scrubs with no makeup on. I would have been delusional to think what we had could be real.

When the alarm on my phone went off, indicating it was time to leave, it saved the inside of my mouth from bleeding because I was biting it so hard.

"AJ!" I called up again. "Let's go."

Two doors slammed. The bathroom and then his room. There was another slam that I assumed was a closet or drawer. A few minutes later, he came bounding down the stairs. As he tied his shoes, I double-checked that I had everything I needed. I'd been told to bring his birth certificate, social security card, and entertainment work permit. Check. Check. Check.

"Do you have your script?" I asked.

"Yep." He nodded and showed me the papers.

"Okay, let's do this."

We headed out of the house and got in the car. As we drove to the set, which was my middle school, I wondered how I would feel seeing my life being re-enacted in front of me. Today, they were shooting the scene where Austin gave me the pot of honey. As the prop, they were using the actual pot that Austin had given me. I thought I'd be dreading seeing it, but I was actually just worried about AJ. I knew he'd been going over his lines every night. He and Kendall had been on Facetime rehearsing, but he still sometimes got the words mixed up, and anxiety triggered his symptoms.

I flexed my hands on the wheel.

"It's okay, Mom. Don't be nervous." AJ patted my arm.

"What?" I turned my head and looked at him.

"You're doing that thing you do with your hands." He reached out and opened and closed his fingers. "You do that when you're nervous. It's going to be fun. I know what I'm supposed to say. They're going to tell me where to stand. Kendall has done this before, and she says I'm a natural. So does Miles. It's fine."

"You're gonna do amazing!" I beamed at him. "I'm not worried about that."

"What are you nervous about?" His brows gathered in the center. "Is it because this is about your life, and you don't like attention?"

The truth was, I had been worried about him, but I wasn't a huge fan of that aspect of this situation. "Yeah, I guess that's part of it."

"Yeah, but just think, now everyone is gonna know how great Dad was." He looked back down at his paper.

Right. There was that. I guess that was the thing I should be thinking about. Maybe I had lost sight of that. Or maybe I had mixed feelings about that because the thing that made him a hero, that made him the reason that a movie was being made about him, was the reason I was never going to see him again.

I felt myself getting choked up, but I sniffed my emotions back. Today was not about me. Today was about AJ. I'd buried my emotions for nearly ten years, and I could do it for another week while I was on this set.

"Look! That says Fallen Hero cast and crew and parking! That's us!" He scooted up in his seat excitedly as he pointed at a laminated sign attached to a light post.

I understood why they might have to put those up in cities where there could be confusion about where to park, but there was only one parking lot for Firefly Middle School, so I thought it was a little bit overkill, but I was glad to see AJ was excited about it.

We parked beside a large white truck and got out of the car. On our way across the parking lot toward the trailer, a tall woman with two braids, a trucker hat, and a walkie-talkie on her shirt collar approached us. "Hi, I'm Sylvia, the 1st AD You are AJ, right?"

"Yep." AJ nodded.

Her eyes shifted over to me as her hand flattened against her chest. Her tone grew somber. "And you must be the famous Zoe."

With every word she spoke, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I truly hoped that this was not an indication of how today was going to go. It had been bad enough when Austin first died, and everyone felt sorry for me. That lasted for a good five years. I was just getting to where everyone treated me normally. I didn't want or need people's pity again.

I chuckled, hoping to make light of her comment. "I don't know about famous, but I am Zoe."

"It is an absolute honor to meet you."

"You, too." I forced myself to grin.

"Okay." She clapped her hand on her clipboard. "Let me take you to your trailer. There are some forms for you to fill out, Mom, and then we'll get you through hair and make-up and wardrobe, AJ."

"Make-up?" AJ's face twisted in horror.

"I don't think it's that much," I told him, even though I had no clue.

Sylvia motioned for us to follow her. On the way, I glanced around, looking for Miles. I knew he'd be on set today, but I didn't see him anywhere. There were a ton of people there, though. So many more than I'd expected; there had to be at least fifty. Everyone was bustling around and seemed to have an important job to do.

"Here we are!" Sylvia stopped in front of a trailer that had a white paper with the name AJ James on the door.

"Look, Mom!" AJ pointed at it excitedly. "Will you take my picture?"

"Sure." He handed me his phone, and I took several photos of him next to the door.

We went inside, and when he saw there was a bathroom, a small table, and a couch, he got very excited and started taking videos of the space.

Sylvia handed me a stack of papers that I needed to fill out, and she took the documents I'd been asked to bring along to make copies of them. As I was filling out the forms, there was a knock at the door. My heart skipped several beats, thinking it might be Miles. When AJ opened it and I saw it was Kendall and her mom, I exhaled a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. She wanted to run lines.

I sat and listened to them as I wrote down AJ's birthdate, address, and medical information. It was the first time I'd been in the same room while they were rehearsing the dialog. It was so strange to hear back the words that Austin and I had said to one another. They were the same, but they felt so different.

I had a feeling that this week was going to be very surreal. I just needed to keep reminding myself that this was about AJ and Austin, not me. At some point, it would be about me, but not this week.

I'd had two nights about me. The night at the production office and the night after AJ's birthday party. Those were about me. But I probably shouldn't think about those either since the man I'd shared them with would be here, too. Or maybe I should. Maybe that was exactly what I needed to think about to help me get through this week.