18. Benny

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

benny

I hated hearing Vaughn talking about all the girls who want Rowan. Mine. He’s mine. Even if I can’t claim him like I want to. Even if I can’t bust up the little bro-hug thing Vaughn was doing and tell him—and everyone else in the locker room—that the one Rowan is going to be fucking tonight is me.

Because I’ve already decided that’s what I want. It feels like there’s a clock on this relationship. I know it won’t last forever, but I want every single thing I can get with him while I can, and that includes feeling him inside me.

I hadn’t had a chance to tell him that yet, but I’m going to. Because I want this. Even more so when I heard Vaughn going on and on about how sought-after Rowan is. I know he is. It kills me that he doesn’t get to tell them all to back off, like I know he wants to because he’s scared.

Scared it will seem off somehow.

I follow him as we both drive our trucks deep into the country. Trying to find a spot where we can be truly alone for the first time ever. My nerves are kicked up high, and I’m honestly a little worried I’m going to stroke out, but it’s going to be fine.

Rowan would never hurt me on purpose, and I know he’ll make it good for me. I’ve only ever had sex with girls—two, actually. Mya was the last. And I was doing the fucking. But I did a little research, bought condoms and lube—what else do I need?

It’s going to be fine.

Rowan parks his truck, and I park right behind him, my heart beating so hard, I think it might jump out of my throat as he climbs out of his truck and comes to join me. It’s cold, but I have a coat on, and so does he. We’re fine with the heat in my truck cranked up.

He closes the door and turns to me with a sweet smile. “Hi.”

I smile at him, my chest full of butterflies and nerves. “Hi.”

“Good game.”

I laugh at that and lean in to press my lips against his, loving how warm and soft they are. “Really? We’re going to do small talk?”

He chuckles. “Jeez, is it too much to ask for a guy to get a little small talk before you maul me?”

I laugh at that and nip at his bottom lip. “You love it.”

His big hand comes up to cover my cheek, and he nods his head, his nose dragging against mine. “I do.”

“You think it’s too cold to climb in the back?”

He looks through the window of my truck at the bed and then at me. “We’ll freeze our nuts off, but no. I think we can do that.”

I laugh and kiss him hard before we climb out of my truck. I drop the tailgate, pulling out several blankets I gathered up and start to line the truck bed with them. “Thought of everything, huh?” he asks as he helps me.

“We’re still going to freeze.”

He wraps his big arms around me. “I’ll keep you warm.”

A shudder goes through me, and I know I’m making the right decision. I need this with him. I turn around in his arms and kiss his lips. “I know you will.” I grab the bag I stashed and drop it next to me. “I want you.”

I can feel him smile against my lips. “That’s good, you know, since I’m the one you’re kissing,” he says in between sweet, soft kisses.

“I mean in every way, Rowan.”

He pauses and pulls back to look into my eyes and then looks over at the bag. “What’s in the bag?” His eyes meet mine again.

“Condoms. Lube.”

He sucks in a deep, surprised breath, and I’m certain I’ll have to fight him on this too, but that’s okay. I’m ready for the fight. “We’ve only just started figuring things out...”

I smile and hold onto his cheek with my cold hand. The night air is freezing, and I can see both of our breaths. “This is just one more thing to figure out. Don’t worry, I researched it.”

He huffs a laugh, and lots of white air blooms in front of his mouth. “Porn?”

I grin. “Porn and Google. What else do you need?”

His hands settle on my hips, and his look has turned serious. “We don’t need to do this tonight. It’s cold, and we have time.”

“Do we?” I challenge because we both know we don’t.

“Doesn’t mean we have to rush this. I haven’t even had my fingers inside you yet, and you want my dick?”

Heat flashes throughout my entire body, and despite the nerves and the cold, my dick definitely responds. “Yes. That. All of that. I want it,” I ramble and pull him to me for a heady kiss, my arms wrapped around his neck.

We make our way up into the truck bed, me on my back on the soft blankets and him on top of me, his big body resting on mine and his forearms as we kiss. “We really don’t have to rush this.”

He kisses his way down my neck, and even though my body and his lips are cold, it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt. That and his erection brushing over mine through the denim of our jeans. “I want you so bad,” I gasp. “It’s all I can think about. It’s becoming a real problem.”

I swear I can feel him smiling against the skin of my neck, and I lose even more of my heart to him right then and there.

“I want this, Rowan.” I know it’s crazy, and maybe it doesn’t make much sense because we only just kissed for the first time recently and haven’t had that much time together like this, but I have this needy, desperate feeling inside. I need us to be connected like this.

I need him.

“I feel it too,” he says softly, and it takes me a moment to go over what I actually said out loud and what I was just thinking about. His mouth is back on mine, though, before I say anything else.

We’re grinding against each other, still fully clothed, and I already feel out of control. I don’t know how I’m going to make this last. He removes his coat but not his shirt, and he actually gasps when my cold hands slide under the fabric of his t-shirt. “Fuck.”

I chuckle but don’t remove my hands. I need to feel him. “Sorry.”

“You’re going to pay for that,” he says, leaning down and kissing and sucking on my neck.

“Oh, such a horrible punis—” I gasp when his cold hands slide under my coat and my shirt, his icicle hands dragging over my previously warm skin. “Oh, holy fuck!”

“Yeah, baby, scream for me,” he teases, and I laugh, tossing my head back in a full-on giggle fit as he tickles my sides with his frozen fingers.

He nibbles on my neck, and soon his hands warm up as I stop fighting his tickling, and his touches turn more reverent, sliding his whole hand from my pecs and down my abs, tracing the lines of my stomach.

His hands go to my jeans and undo the top button and slowly lower the zip. I’m immensely grateful that his hands have warmed up before he pushes my jeans and boxer briefs down and out of the way. My dick is hard as steel and springs up to greet him right away.

He ignores it for the moment, though, and pulls my jeans down the rest of the way, and I kick them and my underwear down and off my ankles, leaving my bottom half naked.

“I never thought I would have this,” he says, looking down at my face, sitting back and between my legs.

“Sex?”

He snorts and shakes his head at me. “No. Not just sex.”

My cheeks heat, and I nod my head dumbly. “Oh.”

He climbs out of the truck, and I lift myself up on my elbows, watching him kick out of his jeans and underwear before he climbs back up and leans down to kiss me softly, taking his time.

“You’re lucky I like you. I’m freezing my ass off.”

I grin and reach for his asscheeks with both hands, cupping him, and indeed, he’s freezing. “I like you too.”

We start to grind our bare cocks against each other, just exploring with our mouths and hands. Our leaking dicks slide against each other and make every nerve ending in my body light up on high alert. My fingers dig into his firm, cold ass as I pull his body into mine. I want him inside me, but I’d be lying if I said my nerves weren’t kicked up high.

He must know it, though, because he doesn’t seem to be in any kind of hurry. He braces some of his weight with one hand, and the other reaches between us as he starts slow, firm strokes of both our dicks in his hand.

It’s too much, and I start to beg him to stop because I don’t want to ruin the moment, but it’s too late. My eyes slam closed with the intense pleasure soaring through me, and I toss my head back on a moan as my balls tighten, and I release with a shout. I come so hard, I barely notice him going over a moment later, coating us both in cum.

My legs and arms feel like jelly as he collapses onto my chest, and we both try to catch our breath. “Well, that’s not exactly what I had in mind for tonight, but I can’t seem to find it in me to complain either,” I say with a grin.

He chuckles, his whole body vibrating on top of mine. “Don’t worry, just wanted to take the edge off.” He pulls back enough to look into my eyes. “I’m still going to fuck you, if you still want it.”

My spent dick twitches between our bodies but doesn’t quite rally. “I want it. I so fucking want it.”

He smiles and then starts to kiss his way down my body, making my breathing speed up as he licks over our combined release on my stomach. He gathers some in his mouth and comes back up to meld our lips together and share our release with me. I groan when the salty, slightly bitter taste hits my tongue, my cock starting to harden.

He starts to kiss his way down my body again, taking his time and savoring it. I close my eyes and just let myself feel.

I hear some rustling, and when I open my eyes, I see he has the lube in his hands, pouring some on his fingers as he gets situated between my legs. “I’ve done some research too.”

“Is that so?”

He nods, his other hand stroking my semi-hard dick slowly. “I need to prepare you. Get you ready for my dick.”

I swallow hard as I watch him stroke my shaft almost to full hardness again, and I can see his own dick standing tall and proud, the moonlight and stars above us enough to illuminate the beautiful sight.

The pad of his slick finger circles my hole, but he doesn’t push into me. I’m nervous, but I also feel the excitement under the surface of him making me his.

“You sure you want this?” he asks, still stroking my cock with one hand and teasing my hole with his finger.

“I’m sure. I need you inside me.”

With that, he slides his finger into me, slowly, ever so slowly. He’s watching my face as he takes his time. Reading me.

When he’s to his first knuckle, he stops and lets me adjust before he starts to push further into me, his lubed finger stretching me slightly. There’s a little sting of pain, but it’s not too uncomfortable.

“More,” I beg. He removes his finger altogether, and when I’m about to complain, he adds another lubed finger, pushing two into my body. It’s definitely more of a stretch and burn now, and I tip my head back as I try to breathe heavily through it.

“You okay?”

I nod my head, not opening my eyes. “Don’t stop.”

He doesn’t, but it’s slow and methodical, and when he quirks his fingers, brushing over what has to be my prostate, my back bows, and I cry out with sheer pleasure. “Oh, holy fuck.”

I can feel him grinning, even though I’m not looking at him, and he does it again, pegging my gland over and over until I’m leaking like a faucet and terrified I’m going to come again. I quickly grab his wrist and look at him, stopping him from pushing me over the edge.

“I want you. Now. I can’t wait.”

He stops stroking my dick and removes his hand altogether. Keeping two fingers inside me, he uses his free hand to brace his weight as he leans down and steals my mouth.

“I’ll stop if it’s too much, okay? You have to tell me. Can’t be your normal stubborn self.”

Yeah, like hell I’m going to tell him to stop, but I nod in agreement anyway. He pulls back and smiles at me, shaking his head because he knows.

Nothing is going to stop me from giving this to us.