61. Varian

Nova started giggling the moment she woke up, which meant she had something planned. Giggling into her cereal. Giggling on the flight. Giggling hanging out on the tour bus after sound check.

Arik kept smirking and shaking his head.

The second we stood up to go inside the venue to eat with everyone, she stopped and announced, "I need to change into my concert shirt." She sprinted into the back and slammed the door.

"What is this?" I asked Arik, sure he was in on it.

"Wait and see."

She opened the door and strutted out in a ghost tee. The ghost had a little pink heart in his hands. "But wait!" She turned around, and on the back, it read: Tiny Chemical Smuggler.

I laughed. "You two!"

She pointed. "Look at Arik's."

I turned around to find Arik had taken off the hoodie he was wearing and had the same shirt on, but the ghost was carrying a rainbow heart. "Arik." I kissed him hard. "What's the back say?"

He flipped to let me see. It read: Stardust.

I hugged him, pressing my face into his neck. "You better have made me one."

"Don't worry, I did, but you can't wear it onstage."

"Why not? It will look like I'm wearing your new line. I'm supportive like that for the queer folks." I grinned teasingly.

He turned the shirt around to show me it said: The guy who put all the stars in my sky.

I blinked past the moisture quickly forming in my eyes. "Fuck you."

Nova stuck out her hand. "I'm going to be rich before the end of this."

"We're putting it in your college fund." I fisted a hand in Arik's shirt, dragging him forward.

"Not if I spend it first," she muttered.

"Thank you." I found Arik's lips, ignoring Nova's antics.

"For what?" he said breathlessly when we broke apart.

"Being unapologetically you." I stepped back and tugged off my shirt. "How mad do you think they'll be if I wear it anyway?"

"Depends. Are you not going to turn around all night?" Arik lifted a brow, dropping his gaze down to my chest.

"I could try…" We walked into the venue, Nova skipping in front of us. "I thought you wearing a hoodie all day was a little weird."

"I was boiling! I should have changed into it. Nova is clearly better at this." He slipped his hand into mine once we were inside, away from possible high-powered lenses. "Are you really going to wear it?"

"Yes."

John did not react well. "It's only been a week since the divorce announcement. Don't you think you're moving fast? Even if Lindsay doesn't say you cheated, someone will."

"I'm tired of fitting myself into a box the right shape for public consumption. I've distorted myself so many times I don't recognize me. If people want to say I'm gay and was cheating, they'd say it no matter when we do this. If people don't understand that sexuality can evolve and change, I don't care. I don't want to deny what I want anymore." I met Arik's eyes, and he beamed.

"It's not a good idea."

"Your objection is noted," I said, getting up. "Let's go do this."

Arik stood with me while we waited for our cue. "Is this official? Or are we teasing them?"

"Why do you ask?"

He offered me his phone with a journal post pulled up.

He hadn't posted it yet.

I was never any good at math, but doesn't "you + me" make sense?

"Are you asking me before you post something?" I asked in a teasing, shocked tone.

"You're the only person I will ever run anything by." He searched my eyes.

I let a smile capture my mouth. "Post it, but this feels like payback for everyone finding out I'm divorced while you were onstage."

He grinned. "Payback is a bitch!"

Nova held out her hand. Arik gave her his wallet. All I could do was laugh.

"I have an idea." Arik crouched down next to Nova. "But it's a secret."

She scooted closer, letting him whisper in her ear, and then nodded. "I like it."

"What?" I asked.

"Can't tell you!" she said and ran off.

"Uncalled for!"

"That's your cue." Arik nodded toward the stage.

"Hold on, we can't go on yet. I got to feed my boy." Fox pulled out a Tamagotchi.

"What the actual fuck?" Arik turned to hand Nova money instinctively, but she wasn't there, still not back.

"It's the only pet I can have traveling like we do! He's thirty-six years old," Fox said, all proud of himself. "The longest I've ever kept any relationship alive!"

Bronx scoffed. "He holds it over my head."

"There is something wrong with them," Arik muttered.

I kissed him. "I know, and it pisses me off they have been together longer than us, even though we started first!"

"Seriously." Arik huffed.

I kissed him again and went to play.

I knew exactly what they planned when Nova and Arik showed up on side-stage where everyone could see them and she was handing him a guitar. He let her help, just like she was a real guitar tech. He walked out for our next song, and the crowd erupted. He didn't shy away from me, staying close and singing into my mic.

He'd picked the perfect moment because he came out for the song before my thank you speech.

I went through my normal thank you for the opening bands and the crew, and for Second Star doing this with us, then added, "Thank you for the shirt. I'm quite a big fan."

"Are you?" he said, leaning into my mic, face so close to mine.

"Very." I looked into his eyes, and time stopped.

He cupped my cheek. "This okay?"

A hush fell over the crowd.

I nodded, and he kissed me.

Pandemonium ensued.

Screaming, crying, fans jumping up and down. Arik held my hand as I sang my next song. Vallen hugged us both with tears in his eyes at one point. After the encore, they didn't let me offstage. The guys darted in and group-hugged Arik and I.

When we walked off, Nova hugged both our legs.

"This is what we should have had then," Arik whispered.

"Do you think it would have lasted?" I asked.

"I'd like to think so. I've never loved anyone like I love you. I tried for years and years, I tried, but nothing before you or after you ever felt right."

"You are my whole universe." My smile hurt my face. I'd never grinned like that onstage. "I can't believe we just did that. I used to dream of doing that with you."

"Did you?" Arik asked.

I nodded.

"You're making me soft." He slipped his arms around my neck.

"I hope that doesn't…affect our plans for later." I teased cryptically so Nova wouldn't get it.

"It does affect it. But only because it makes it a lot better for you."

I groaned.