48. Varian

"How many women can he fuck? Jesus fuck." I tossed my phone on the table.

Vallen lifted a brow. "Why are you reading tabloids?"

"Because I'm stupid." More like I wanted to see what they were saying leading up to Arik's album release.

"Why are you calling yourself stupid, Daddy?"

"Because sometimes I'm stupid, sweetheart." I leaned forward to kiss Nova's head. "Go play with Fox. You've left him hiding for an hour."

"He's not hiding, he's lost."

"Story of my fucking life." I put a hand over my mouth as soon as I said it. "Do not repeat that. Or tell your mother I said it."

She gave me a look only a six-year-old could and put her hands on her hips. "What's it worth to you?"

"Little fucking con artist." I looked at my brother. "Can you believe this?"

"She's your kid. I don't know why you're surprised. Pay the woman."

"Yeah, pay me." She held out her hand.

I leaned to get my wallet out, then put a dollar in her tiny hand. "Go put it in your piggy bank."

She ran off.

"Why the fuck is he putting a record out the same day we are?"

"Is that a rhetorical question or…?" Val asked.

"It's a fuck you, dude." Bronx took a seat with a full plate of food. "Where is this catering from? It's good shit."

"I thought you were finding Fox and telling him food was here?"

"I saw the food and got distracted." Bronx shrugged and stabbed his fork into the Asian noodles. "Don't you two have him air-tagged?"

"The battery died, and I forgot to change it." I tipped my head back, spinning in my chair. "When is John getting here?"

"I'm here, and I found Fox. Which one of you left him under a fucking car? He's going to die." John took a seat with a full plate.

"No one was going to turn it on." Fox kissed Bronx's temple before he sat down.

Bronx squeezed his knee before returning to his plate. I hated them a little for how happy they were.

"I'm adding it to the list of things you're not allowed to do," John said before turning to me. "Where's the hard liquor?"

"I only have beer. My kid is here."

"I'm going to go get my emergency bottle out of the car." John shoved his chair back, returning a few minutes later with a bottle of scotch and five glasses. "Okay, I'm preemptively pouring this."

"I can't drink. My kid is here. I have to at least act like a responsible adult."

"Where is Lindsay?" John looked around as if he'd just noticed she wasn't there.

"She moved out."

They all stared.

"When?" Val asked, hurt flashing in his eyes.

"Two months ago."

He blinked. "And you never thought to call?"

"It's been a bad six months." I didn't want to explain it to any of them. I already felt like a failure to Nova.

"No fucking wonder you're looking at his shit again," Vallen said, standing up. "I'm going to get food."

"Glad you're giving me a free pass to have a mental breakdown when my life is falling apart." I gave him two thumbs up because my kid was here, and I let him believe what he wanted. I wasn't going to tell anyone I never stopped looking. I'd read every post he'd ever made.

Once they all had food and were sitting again, John cleared his throat. "As you know, we are planning a tour to start a couple of months after your new album release. Because it's been five years since your last, we are hoping to hit that big comeback energy. Strike the people hoping to relive their youth. You guys have always had a cult following, and we think the best way to get this comeback off the ground is to play into it."

"I like the idea. I think chasing our original fans as well as new ones is smart." Vallen chewed his food thoughtfully.

"Why did you need us all here together?" Fox asked the important question.

"I wanted to go over some details and get contracts signed."

"What's the catch?" I asked. "Because we don't all need to be in the same room to electronically sign."

"There's no catch," John hedged.

"You told us you have to tell us all together, in person. You drove your ass up from LA in the fucking traffic, then insisted on hard liquor. For what?"

John made a guilty face. "You're not going to like it, but just know this is the best way to re-harness all the fans and energy you need to make this comeback."

"I don't like the sound of this."

"It doesn't matter. It has to be done." John was dedicated, I'd give him that.

"What fucking trick do you have up your sleeve that I'm not going to like?" It had to be a gimmick or something to do with my father. What else would I hate that much?

"You're going to co-headline an arena tour."

It clicked, and I was on my feet. "No."

"You can take solace that he's as unhappy as you are about it. But do you know how many fans will come out to see the two most popular acts coming back together after seventeen years?"

"I'd rather be poor." The divorce was going to fuck me. Lindsay had expensive taste, and we hadn't done anything for the band for the last four years, but I couldn't do months of that. No way.

"Just listen." John was on his feet, too, like he'd chase and tackle me to make me listen if he had to. Man might have been like sixty, but he could outrun all of us.

"I don't care what you have to say. My mental health is already in a fragile place with my life falling apart. I can't do four months of touring with a guy who hates my existence."

"Six to eight, but who's counting?"

"You want me to end my life, don't you? Is this some elaborate plot for life insurance money? You know, I read a whole study that said rock stars were more valuable dead than alive, and I'm starting to think this is what's going on here." I slowly backed away from the table.

"Sit the fuck down, Varian. Gods, sometimes you're so dramatic." Val used his ‘don't fuck with me' voice, so I did as he asked.

"Do not take me sitting as any kind of agreement to do this." I crossed my arms.

John launched into his diatribe, attempting to convince me.

Early retirement sounded better and better. They could find a new fucking singer. Blink did it for years.

"What do you think?" John asked.

The guys had comments and questions, but they sounded mostly positive. Fucking traitors, but that would leave me outvoted.

"I have a question."

John's eyes flicked over.

"How are you going to get Arik to be in the same arena as I am? Last time I checked, he bailed on an awards show where he won Album of the Year because he heard a rumor I was going to be there." It was my ultimate squash to this whole mess.

"Why would his team have agreed to negotiations if he wasn't on board? He's their lead singer." John had expected the question and had an answer.

I wasn't even mad.

I wanted to know why Arik had fucking agreed to this.