13. Varian

We were about to go on, and he hadn't shown. I didn't want to admit my disappointment, but it was hard not to feel it. It oozed from my body. I'd always worn my heart on my sleeve.

Sneakers squeaking on stairs drew my attention from my guitar. Arik jogged up the steps, his faded blue hair glowing in the fluorescent lights.

"Sorry!" he gasped, out of breath, half bent over and huffing.

"Hey." I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face. I had to be iridescent.

"Hey," he said when he could speak. Arik lifted his eyes, his smile rivaling mine.

"You made it."

He nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. "We had to break down our set so they could get it loaded."

My chest felt fuzzy, and I told myself to ignore it, but the feeling was too powerful. It felt like the first time I played onstage or the first time I was asked to sign a record. The way I reacted when this boy smiled at me.

"We have to go on…" But I didn't want to leave.

"Still want me to watch from the wings?" he asked coyly.

"Do you want to?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"I'd like that."

My brother grabbed my shirt and dragged me toward the stage. "Come on, chemical kid." Since he was probably saving me from making an ass of myself, I didn't object.

I gave a half wave.

He grinned wider, then bit down on his lower lip. I closed my eyes, locking it in my memory. Why did his friendship feel like starlight?

"You've got it bad," Bronx laughed, coming up behind me as we plugged in. "You look at him like Fox looks at a fresh bowl of pasta."

I held up my middle finger right as the stage lights came up. The crowd laughed and screamed, used to this shit from us. My brother leaned into the mic, coming in with his low hum. I joined in to harmonize as I glanced at the side stage. Arik stood where he could be seen by part of the crowd, eyes locked on mine.

I shifted under the weight of his gaze. He caught me looking and returned my two-finger salute.

I shook my head, directing my attention back to the crowd. I had to remind myself not to look over every five minutes. The front row pointed at Arik, and the fire spread. He waved, and all I could do was laugh. I wasn't shocked they knew his face already.

When we went off before the encore, I went right to him. "I have a fucked-up idea."

"I'm not sure if I should be worried or excited. I don't know you well enough." There was humor in Arik's tone. So I hadn't scared him off.

"Do you know any of our music?"

"I know it all," he said with conviction.

"Wait, really?" I asked. "You didn't let on."

"I wasn't going to make an ass out of myself by falling all over you like a fanboy when you came to my release." A glint shone in his eyes.

"So you let me do it? Cool, cool." I huffed.

"I liked it," he said, the coy returning to his voice. "What is your idea?"

"Come play our encore with us? You've already been spotted. I bet they'd go feral."

"I don't have my guitar…"

I looked around for our tech, Dylan. "Do you have my other guitar?"

"Right here," Dylan said, picking it up.

"Can you tune it up real fast and give it to Arik so he can jump in?"

Dylan did a double take at Arik, his mouth dropping open for half a second before he recovered. "Sure thing."

"He's got you," I said as Val dragged me back out. "Just come out when he"s…" The crowd erupted when they caught our shadows, drowning out my voice.

Arik gave me a thumbs up and turned toward Dylan, who had one ear of his headphones on. He quickly took off the capo and checked the tuning. I started the song with the back of my neck prickling, anxious for him to join us. The music took over, and it was almost autopilot until I heard him come into my earpiece. I looked up to find Arik standing a couple inches away, getting into the riff.

The fans exploded as word spread. They jumped up and down, screaming hysterically. The energy from the crowd doubled. I'd never experienced such a hyped-up pit. Crowd surfers were lifted at the back, getting dumped off over the rail to be hauled off by security.

Bronx ran out and jumped the narrow gap, landing on a cushion of hands. He played while surfing, upping the vibe even more. I oozed joy, watching him until a figure stepped into my view.

Arik got between me and the crowd, facing me, putting one foot between mine as he bent his knees, bringing our guitars inches apart. I leaned into it, mirroring his movements. He lifted his attention from his fingers. My stomach flipped as I met his eyes.

He smiled wide and bright. Almost blinding.

His knee brushed mine. I didn't pull away from the contact, and neither did he.

Any closer, one of his knees would be between mine, and we'd be hitting fingers as we played. But that wasn't the best of it. I stepped up to my mic, and he joined, lips millimeters apart. He belted along, harmonizing with Val and me while looking right into my eyes. His swirled like deep emerald pools.

I was such a fucking goner.

* * *

We collapsed into a mess by the time we had the gear packed up.

Arik stood with his hands tucked into his pockets, pulled into himself against the slight chill, a beanie over his curls, while he searched my face.

"Come out and have a drink with us." I never wanted this night to end."We have to celebrate headlining!"

"I don't want to intrude on band time." He looked at the rest of the guys.

"You're part of the band now, man," Fox said, clapping him on the shoulder. "You got to come celebrate with us. That show was sick as fuck."

Arik caught his lower lip between his teeth, searching my face.

"Please," I said silently, putting my hands together in a praying posture.

"Okay, one drink."

One drink turned into many more. The entire crew side of the tour turned into a rave between buses. We drank and smoked and ended up sprawled out on blankets on the grass.

Arik introduced us to the rest of his band.

Serafin, their backup vocals and lead guitar player. He would make a better lumberjack than alternative musician. He had an impressive red beard and big blue eyes. I wanted to ask Arik where they'd met.

Hael, their bass player, who had bronzed skin and dark hair down to the middle of his back. He cut an imposing figure with his traditional tattoos and intense brown eyes, but after one hit he had out his ukulele, showing he was as good if not better at playing it.

Koa, their drummer, had his hair tied up on top of his head and an under shave. He had two full sleeves, and I was sure could kick mine and everyone else's asses.

Arik laid his head on my stomach. "I need a pillow."

"And I'm the best choice?" I asked, pushing my fingers into his hair instinctively.

He tilted his head to glance up at me, giving off a faint hint of cinnamon. "Hael is still playing, Ser is too bony, and Koa would kick my ass."

"I guess I'm your new pillow."

"You're going to regret admitting that."

"Am I?" I asked playfully.

He smirked and settled back in. We stayed that way until our bus call time.

"What was with him laying on you all night?" Val said before we got into our bunks.

"He flirts with me." I shrugged.

"He flirts with everyone. I don't want you to read into it."

Vallen wasn't wrong. But like two celestial bodies, I was trapped in his orbit.