Chapter 27 Nolan

Chapter 27

Nolan

There wasn't anything more magical during a Christmas Eve game than snow, and for today's game, it was coming down in droves. The grounds crew had spent all morning shoveling as much as they could off the field to make the yard lines visible while other staff pitched in to clear out as much of the snow from the bleachers as they could. Bobcat fans were built differently. For other teams, snow games might mean an emptier stadium than usual. Not for us.

When I first emerged from the tunnel at the start of the game, I would have sworn the stadium was even more packed than a normal game as the snow continued to fall. There was an energy that only a game like today's could bring. Even our mascot had donned a Santa hat for the occasion.

Today's game was a conference game against the Las Vegas Roughriders and with a win we would bring home the conference championship title. From the moment of the first punt return, I could feel the intensity my teammates were playing with. The excitement carried through the first half as we managed to put a decent lead between us and Las Vegas and as we all sat in the locker room buzzing with the energy for Christmas Eve and a potential win, I had the distinct feeling that today—this moment—would be one I would remember for the rest of my life, regardless of a win or not. Seeing the smiles of my teammates and the lighthearted jokes that happened after our coach gave his normal halftime speech cemented itself in my mind as one of my favorite moments.

I was surrounded by all the people that were important to me in life—Hawthorn, Derek, Lottie, and my parents, who were watching from my box in the stadium. I felt immense pride as I sat in the locker room and took in the smiling face of Hawthorn, who was on track to kick the most field goals he'd ever had during a single game, Derek, who was in the middle of telling a defensive lineman about how he'd managed to cross up one of Las Vegas's players on the last drive before the half to score a touchdown, and Lottie, who was standing in the corner wearing a Santa hat, smiling as she took it all in.

Everything happening in my life right now for once felt like it was falling into place.

As the team broke to head back out for the second half, I stopped Lottie just before we exited the tunnel.

"My parents are here today," I told her. "Would you like to meet them?"

Lottie's eyes widened at my question, and I realized the kind of pressure I might have just put on her. I quickly began to backtrack, wanting to avoid making this situation anymore awkward than it already was.

But to my surprise, Lottie shook her head when I started to tell her not to worry about it.

"I've been hoping I would get to meet your mother eventually."

The smile she flashed me nearly sent me to my knees. I'd never experienced having someone who cared so much about me and my success and wanted to meet my family. My ex was only ever interested in the optics of attending my game. She was more concerned with posting a picture of herself down on the sidelines before a game or during the game rather than having a conversation with either of my parents.

Maybe Lottie and I had an actual chance.

"Go have some fun," Lottie told me as I continued to stare at her with a smile on my face.

"Right." I nodded my head before pulling my helmet on and finding Derek and the rest of the offense.

For once, I didn't feel the pressure to continue to outperform myself or to constantly give yet another piece of myself to the sport and its fans. As I took the field with my team for the second half, I finally felt at peace.

But the question still lingered, what if I could bring this same feeling into one last season?

"Great game, son!" My father wrapped me in a hug as soon as me and Lottie walked over to where they were waiting in the family room.

"Congratulations," my mother added as I took her in my arms. "What a wonderful accomplishment for your last season—a conference championship."

My smile grew slightly strained, despite what we had to celebrate. "It's coming to an end faster than I had imagined."

My parents shared a sad smile with me as we silently remembered all the memories we had around the sport of football. But before any tears could be shed, I went to introduce Lottie, who was still standing next to me.

"Mom, Dad, this is Dr. Charlotte Thompson. She's our physical therapist this year. Charlotte, this is my father, Harry, and my mother, Francesca." I gestured to Lottie, pulling my parents' attention away from me. "I owe a lot to her this year. She's managed to keep me on the field as much as possible."

My father reached out to shake her hand. "I apologize that you've had to deal with him."

A surprised laugh escaped from Lottie's mouth, and she slammed her lips closed to try and hide it. A wry smile cracked across my father's face and the two of them exploded in a fit of laughter together.

"Thank you for taking care of our son," my mother interjected. "Especially because we all know how difficult he can be sometimes."

"Thanks, guys," I sarcastically added, earning a laugh from all of us.

My mother reached out to pull Lottie into a hug. I watched her stiffen as my mother's arms wrapped around her for a few moments before her eyes drifted closed. I knew I was watching a small piece of Lottie's trauma begin to heal in my mother's arms.

"You're coming over tonight for Christmas still?" My father asked me as my mother began to ask Lottie about the sweater she was wearing.

"Wouldn't miss it," I told him. I watched Lottie gush over my mother's custom Nolan Hill sweatshirt. "I need Mom's Christmas cookie recipes for something I'm planning tomorrow."

"Do you now?" my father asked with a wry smile. He glanced between me and Lottie with a knowing look on his face before reaching over to squeeze my shoulder. "Are you still planning on that New Year's Eve party?"

"If you and Mom are still okay hosting everyone," I told him.

My father nodded his head. "Absolutely. We wanted to have an overflowing house one last time before we don't get the chance again."

"Well, thank you for that." I reached over to shake his hand.

"We're proud of you, son. Don't ever forget that," my father told me as he reached over for my mother. "Come on, honey, let's let these two get out of here. We'll see Nolan tonight."

"But I won't see Lottie," my mother stubbornly told my father as she finished exchanging numbers with Lottie. "Please tell me you'll be coming to the New Year's Eve party we are having?"

Lottie looked helplessly between my mother and me as she tried to figure out what to say back.

"She'll be there," I told my mother, stepping in to save Lottie from having to respond. "I'll see you guys tonight."

My parents waved goodbye to us before they made their way out of the stadium.

"Your parents are sweet," Lottie told me as she watched them leave the family room, a slight sheen to her eyes.

I nodded my head. "I'm extremely lucky to have two parents like them."

"You did wonderful today," she told me. I felt her pinky brush across mine as she reached for me in a room full of people.

"Can I come over tomorrow around eight in the morning?" I asked. "I want to cook you and Olivia breakfast."

"Olivia is sleeping over tonight, so we will be there," Lottie replied.

This time, I reached over to give her hand a quick squeeze. "It'll be a stay in your pajamas all day kind of day."

"Perfect, because I have a plan." The glint in Lottie's eyes had me questioning what exactly was up her sleeve.

"Should I be worried?" I asked.

Lottie shrugged with a wry smile. "I'll see you tomorrow morning," she called over her shoulder. As I watched her leave, I wished I could be waking up next to her on Christmas morning, but this would have to do for now.

The snow had piled up to nearly a foot overnight. Kids across Chicago would be waking up to a true white Christmas. I made my way across the city toward Lottie's apartment, the back of my car full of the ingredients to make chocolate chip pancakes and Christmas cookies later in the day.

My mother had thrust her secret Christmas cookie recipes in my hands as I was leaving last night after she'd beaten me down about my plans for today. She shouted after me that she wanted pictures without asking any further questions about why I was spending Christmas Day with my physical therapist, like the amazing mother she was.

Lottie held the door open for me after she'd buzzed me in. "What's all that for?"

Her hair was braided down her back this morning and she was wearing a plaid pajama set that had a snowman on the breast pocket.

"We're having the Christmas Day of your childhood dreams," I told her as I went to set everything down on the kitchen counter. That was when I noticed Olivia in the same pajamas as Lottie with an extra set in her hands and an excited—maybe even a little bit evil—look on her face. "What are those?"

"It's on my list!" Lottie told me excitedly as she grabbed the extra pair of pajamas from Olivia. "Matching pajamas. I know it's probably cheesy. But I remember my classmates talking about their families getting new matching pajamas every Christmas morning and I thought it was something that should be on the list of things I'm making up for missing."

If any of my teammates ever caught wind that I wore a matching pajama set with the girl I liked and her sister while making Christmas cookies and watching Christmas movies all day, I'd never hear the end of it. But I grabbed the pajamas anyways and went to change into them solely because of the look of excitement on Lottie's face. I would have done anything to keep that look there.

When I emerged from the bathroom, Lottie's fireplace was crackling, and she'd turned on a Christmas playlist while she and Olivia began laying out the ingredients for chocolate chip pancakes.

"Are you taking the lead on this, Chef Nolan?" Olivia turned around as she asked me the question and let out a snort once she saw me.

"That bad?" I asked as I pulled at the stiff material that clung to the muscles in my legs without budging.

"I never thought I'd know what Nolan Hill's butt cheeks looked like and now I'll spend the rest of my life trying to erase that image from my mind," Olivia replied.

Lottie turned at her sister's comment, and her eyes grew wide when she realized what Olivia meant. Her hand flung up to cover her mouth and the laugh she was trying to hide.

"Just remember," I told her. "This was your idea."

"I may have gotten the wrong size," Lottie realized as she continued to ogle me. Her eyes roamed over every inch of my body and I swelled at the unspoken compliment.

I cleared my throat to grab her attention again. "My eyes are up here."

Red flushed Lottie's cheeks when she realized she'd been caught and grew an even deeper shade once Olivia started laughing at her.

After the two sisters finished talking about how tight my pajamas were, the three of us got to work on our pancakes.

"My mother used to make me snowmen pancakes every Christmas morning," I told them as I strategically placed the chocolate chips to resemble the face of a snowman. Both Lottie and Olivia lit up when they saw the finished products, like two little kids living in the magic that was created for them on a day like today. "Looking back, I think these pancakes might be my favorite memory of Christmas."

"If your pancakes are this good, I can't wait for the Christmas cookies later," Olivia moaned as she took her first bite. Lottie and I exchanged smiles as her sister grabbed another pancake to add to her stack.

"Maybe next year we can all make Christmas cookies with the original chef." The words slipped out of my mouth before I even registered what I was saying. Lottie's fork paused on its way to her mouth when she realized I'd just insinuated we'd be doing this again next year, except with my parents.

Even though we'd spoken about how we felt about each other, we were still walking this fine line of if we would eventually be together or not.

"As long as she teaches me all of her recipes," Olivia spoke around a mouthful of pancake. "Because I'm sure her cookies deserve to be eaten more than once a year."

Olivia's obliviousness to the tension between me and Lottie seemed to take the edge off. Lottie's shoulders relaxed and the two of us continued eating our pancakes in silence.

Once all the plates were empty, I started helping Lottie clean everything up. The two of us worked in sync, cleaning and drying dishes just like during Thanksgiving.

"I got you something," Lottie told me once all the dishes were dried. A tiny bit of relief washed through me as I thought of the little bag I'd hidden under my coat when I first got here. It wasn't much. I hadn't wanted to get Lottie something extravagant due to the nature of our relationship. But I hadn't expected her to get me anything either, although it made presenting my gift to her easier.

Lottie took off for her room and brought back out a wrapped gift in the shape of a rectangle. The size looked familiar and before she could hand it to me, I went to grab my gift for her—a similarly shaped wrapped gift.

Her eyebrows pulled together as she realized I'd gotten her something as well and that it looked like hers. "Did we get each other the same thing?"

I shrugged as the two of us exchanged gifts. "Guess we'll have to find out."

Instead of ripping into my gift right away, I hesitated as I watched the excitement play out on Lottie's face as she opened my gift. The second her fingers touched the glass of the picture frame beneath the wrapping paper her eyes widened before she looked over at the unopened gift in my hands.

"Open yours," she told me as she finished pulling the wrapping paper off the frame.

Slowly, I peeled the wrapping paper back to reveal that Lottie had also given me a picture frame.

The picture I had given Lottie was from Thanksgiving. Everyone that had come for dinner at her house had crowded around her fireplace and smiled for a picture with our arms wrapped around each other. We truly looked the family that we had slowly become over these past few months and judging by the way Lottie's fingers gently touched the glass, I knew that gift was better than anything else I could have given her.

The picture that Lottie had gotten me was one that nearly took my breath away. It was from the game in Denver a few weeks back. Derek and Hawthorn had wrapped their arms around me after the last touchdown that I had thrown to Derek. The smile on my face was pure joy and one of the few times I'd ever seen myself that happy while playing professional football. It was the only picture I now owned that had just the three of us in it, looking the happiest we ever had while doing the thing we all loved. It was also the game where everything seemed to finally click for me this season and I rediscovered my love of the game.

"Thank you," we both said at the same time.

Lottie let out a chuckle while a smile broke across my face. The two of us stared at each other as we clutched photos from one of the most meaningful moments of our lives during these past few months, given to us by someone who recognized its importance.

"Are we going to start baking these cookies?" Olivia called from the kitchen where she was clutching my mother's recipes. "Because these peanut butter blossoms are calling my name."

This time I joined Lottie's laughter as the two of us left our pictures next to each other on her kitchen table and went to begin our Christmas baking. Lottie switched the Christmas music to the Elf soundtrack and the sounds of Christmas cheer filled the little apartment.

Olivia left shortly after the cookies had been packed up to be taken home, leaving me and Lottie alone in her apartment to clean up. As the two of us worked side by side, Lottie continued to steal a few glances at me.

"What?" I asked her.

With a sigh, she set down her cleaning rag and looked at me. "Listen, I've been thinking. What if we just did it?"

My eyes widened at her question, which in turn had her backtracking once she realized how that had sounded.

"No, no. That's not what I meant." Now a smile was slowly breaking out across my face as I watched her painfully try to correct the error. After another moment she sighed again before trying to start over. "What if we just gave whatever is happening between us a real shot? The season is almost over and I'm not sure I can take much more of this dance with you anymore. I've grown tired of fighting it."

Lottie looked like she was holding her breath as she waited for me to respond. My heart felt like it had stopped beating in my chest as my mouth fell open out of shock. With each passing moment that I didn't answer, doubt crept over Lottie's face. I could guess exactly what she was thinking.

Maybe I had changed my mind.

Maybe I thought we were only meant to be friends.

I finally unfroze by pushing a stream of air out of my mouth. "Fucking finally."

Within seconds, my hand was cradling the back of her head and my lips covered hers. My heart squeezed when I realized how much I loved kissing her. How she melded to me like a perfect puzzle piece and filled all the missing parts of me.

The two of us moved with familiarity as Lottie's hands shoved me toward her bedroom. "Are you sure you meant that you wanted to date me?" I asked her as I pushed open her bedroom door with my back. My hands caressed her as her lips slanted over mine, matching all the hunger I felt. "Because it really feels like you meant something else."

I could feel Lottie's smirk against my lips, and I loved this spunky version of her. It was a glimpse of the desire that had been building inside of her for this very moment. The moment the backs of my legs hit the edge of her bed, I spun us around, so she landed on the bed first. Surprise flashed in her eyes before it was replaced with something I would describe as hunger. I had to push through the shock consuming me that we had even reached this point so I could show her just how much I'd been waiting for the moment that she would be mine .

I trailed a line of kisses from the soft skin just below her belly button up to her mouth where I kissed her hard until she had to pull away, gasping for air.

"You are so beautiful," I told her. She gazed up at me through her lashes, those blue eyes filled with just as much disbelief as I felt. The odds had never felt in our favor to end up in this very position, literally and figuratively.

"Thank you for today," she told me when I pulled back from another kiss. "I'm not even sure I have the words to tell you how much today meant for me and Olivia."

Tears welled at the corners of her eyes, and I reached up to kiss them away. "I loved today just as much as you did. Seeing you two act like little kids was the best Christmas gift I've had in years."

I kissed over her eyelids, then trailed down to her cheeks, then both collarbones with the hope that I would kiss away any doubt that she had that we were right where we needed to be. That this moment was inevitable, and we were always meant to end up in each other's arms.

Lottie slowly pulled at the hem of the pajama shirt I was wearing and pulled it up and over my head. We shared a chuckle when I had to pull away from her to strip off the overly tight bottoms.

Our very first night together had been fueled slightly by alcohol and I wanted tonight to be fueled solely from how much we cared about each other. The moment Lottie slipped out of her pajamas, the air in the room grew thicker and it felt like all that mattered in the world right then was the two of us as our arms wrapped around each other as we consumed each other completely.

This time, we took our time. Our movements were slow as we explored each other's bodies. Completely different from the frantic moments in my apartment after the club. We moved together with the twinkling Christmas lights on the house across from Lottie's apartment shining through her bedroom window.

Skin slid over skin.

Hands threaded in hair.

Moans and whispered breaths of our names filled the room.

Sheets tangled around us.

"Is that all you've got?" Lottie asked me with unkempt hair and swollen lips after she'd already worked me near exhaustion. She was insatiable.

With a growl, I lifted her into my arms and carried her to the shower for round two.

And all I could think about was how the axis I'd operated on my entire life felt righted the second I was able to call Lottie mine.

I lay awake far into the late hours of the evening, my thumb swiping across the delicate skin of Lottie's cheek as she slept on my chest. My heart swelled up to meet where she lay on top of me, wanting her to know that it belonged to her.