Chapter 26 Nolan

Chapter 26

Nolan

The annual Bobcats' Christmas party happened on the Thursday night before our game on Christmas Eve that following Sunday. Every year, the organization rented out the Field Museum for the event and transformed the entire place into a winter wonderland to celebrate the season.

What many fans didn't realize was that the players, coaches, and staff often didn't get to celebrate the holidays the same way that everyone else did. We had practices and games on major holidays and if we did get to celebrate, it was with each other rather than with our families. To bring some semblance of the holiday season, the organization threw a giant party with a five-course meal, music and dancing, and gifts for everyone.

I normally didn't enjoy the party because over the past few years I had shown up alone and had to mingle with the owner and other investors all night rather than having fun with my teammates. These events had never been my style.

But tonight, I didn't mind having to schmooze various investors or the owner's family because I got to watch Lottie glide through the room from afar. She was in a floor-length black dress that hugged every curve of her body that I had memorized at this point. It was as if my mind knew exactly where she was at all times without having to search for her. As I moved around the room talking to different people, I always found her in the crowd like a beacon of light that kept me sane as my face began to hurt from smiling so much.

Lottie laughed with people from the training staff, shook hands with the owner before I had had the chance to talk with him, and then allowed players to introduce her to their families that she hadn't met yet. She was an enigma, radiating beauty and the kind of energy that forced you to notice her.

"I heard that you were given the offer of returning next year for another season," Gary Martinez, the owner of the Bobcats, told me after I'd greeted him with a firm handshake. He was in charge of most of the personnel decisions within the organization, players and staff alike.

"I was," I told him, wary of where this conversation was going and that we were having it in a room full of people that I would rather not overhear it.

Ever since my perspective around the games had changed these past few weeks, the offer that my coach had given me had slipped to the back of my mind. That ugly monster inside of me that worried about if my performance this season would be good enough was finally silenced. All the questions it normally asked were dulled out.

Would I make myself proud enough?

Did I do enough to cement myself up there with the greats that had played in the NFL?

None of those questions had floated around inside of my head these past few weeks and I owed much of the reason for it to Lottie for how she changed my perspective on the game. Her reminder of having fun had helped me to reprioritize what was important to me and allowed me to let loose on the field.

"Have you given it much thought yet?" Gary asked. "We thought it would give you a second chance at a Super Bowl win if this season doesn't end up how we all want it to or even a back-to-back opportunity. Which is something you haven't done just yet."

Gary nudged me like we were old pals and I had to force a hollow laugh out of me to hide the way my body tensed. I would not miss this part of the sport—being the quarterback, the face of the team, and having to perform at social gatherings as much as I had to on the field.

A waiter walked by with a tray of fresh champagne glasses, and I grabbed a new one with the hope of taking a bit of the edge off tonight.

"Back-to-back would be an awesome experience," I agreed, because I truly did believe that. Having the kind of dominance to achieve winning Super Bowls back-to-back would cement the legacy I wanted to leave behind. That voice in the back of my mind whispered to take the offer because that would be even better than how I had originally hoped for my career to end.

My eyes drifted back toward the blonde vision that was now being twirled around the dance floor by Derek. I could hear her whimsical laugh as my best friend dipped her unexpectedly from all the way across the room.

"She's really done wonders for the team this year, hasn't she," Gary said as he followed my gaze to Lottie, completely unaware of the reason why I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"She's been a massive part of my success this season." For more reasons than just a physical therapy routine.

Gary nodded his head absentmindedly. "I've noticed a change in you in the second half of the season so far and I've noticed a great deal of difference in the number of snaps that Derek is playing as well. Normally he must sit more than he has this season to give his lower back and legs a break."

Like magic, Lottie's eyes found mine from across the room. Her hair was pulled back into a slicked-back ponytail that showed off her sharp jawline and high cheekbones. She looked breathtaking. Those blue eyes crinkled at the corners as she gave me a smile only meant for me.

"You two seem to work well together. I'm glad our risk in hiring her has paid off," Gary added, still oblivious to the small moment that Lottie and I were sharing.

"Risk?" I asked him once I'd realized what he had said.

Gary took a drink of his scotch, adding to the ruddy color of his face with each sip. He appeared unbothered as he waved a hand as if to brush off the seriousness of my question. "Hiring someone who had never worked in the NFL before, of course. And not to mention she's a woman who's never played the sport before."

My blood ran cold when I heard Lottie being judged on something other than her skills. Lottie had never explicitly mentioned any of the discrimination she'd faced in her career to me, but you could gather just by watching her that part of her work ethic had been built on the opinions from the people that had counted her out simply because she lacked a Y chromosome.

"I think Lottie proved to the entire industry before she even got the job that she was the best at her job for a reason. She even proved her knowledge extends beyond the NFL with how she handled Nash Rousch's injury this season. And I think she's one of the most valuable people in the facility for this organization." Gary was one too many drinks deep into the night to really register my words and I wished I had found him earlier to have this conversation at a time when he'd remember it.

"Yes, yes." Gary nodded his head, already checking out of our conversation. I watched his eyes lock on to Coach Randolph and knew what was coming next. "If you'll excuse me, Nolan."

I didn't stay around long enough for someone else to corner me before I was walking toward Lottie and Derek as their dance ended.

"Can I have this dance?" I was standing a few feet away from her. Her back was facing me as she thanked Derek for their dance. Her blonde ponytail swung around as she spun, and those baby blue eyes met mine once again. The excitement and relief that I felt to be near her was mirrored on her face as she placed her hand into my outstretched one. The band played another soft melody, one of the last of the night before the DJ the team hired to play took over.

"You two have a good time." Derek slipped an arm around both of our shoulders. "But remember, leave a respectable amount of space or I, as the chaperone, will have to do it myself."

With a wink, Derek left the two of us alone. I pulled Lottie's hand in close to my chest as I looped my other one around her waist, cradling her. Lottie's free arm slipped around my shoulders. If we weren't in a room full of people who could look too closely, I would have slipped my arms down the curve of body, but I kept my hands at a respectful height to give off the picture of a quarterback dancing with the physical therapist that has kept the dream of this season alive for him.

"How are you holding up during your first one of these?" I asked her as we swayed around the dance floor.

I almost missed Lottie's response as I got caught up in the silvery eyeshadow she had laid on her eyelids and the deep scarlet she'd painted her lips.

"This is so amazing." Lottie's eyes shone as her gaze drifted around the room. "I almost feel like I'm a little kid again. This is the closest I think I've ever gotten to how the holidays are supposed to feel. I only wish I had brought Olivia as my date tonight."

"Derek would have stolen her from you," I joked. Every time we all got together as a group, those two always seemed to gravitate toward each other as if they were cut from the same happy-go-lucky, scintillating cloth.

"She would have loved to see these decorations," Lottie told me. "I sent her a few videos. We just never really had anything like this. It feels like the magic you see in all those Christmas movies."

I studied the awe on Lottie's face and wondered how she had missed this as a child. Had her parents not given her and Olivia the magic of Christmas like my parents did for me?

"Did you not have this as a kid?" I asked. Lottie had told me about how hard it was for her growing up, but seeing the sadness burrowed so deep inside of her so plainly cracked a fissure in my heart. How could someone not give their kids the joy of the holidays? How could they be so blind and wrapped up in their own problems to neglect their own kids? And how had Lottie turned out so strong despite all she'd gone through?

"I remember when I was younger the holidays felt something like this. But not during the years that I can clearly remember." Lottie's gaze stayed on the decor of the room rather than on me. I wanted to cup her chin and force her to see that I was here to listen and there would never be an ounce of judgement.

"My childhood was difficult. My father was a cruel man. As I grew older, I watched his relationship with my mother turn into hatred and that affected me and Olivia growing up." Lottie paused for just a moment and when she spoke again, her voice was much softer. "Holidays weren't a priority anymore for my mother when her entire life was falling apart."

My grip on her back tightened as I tried to provide her support short of pulling her into my arms in this room full of people so I could keep respecting her wishes.

"Has your mom found some sense of happiness?" I asked.

Lottie gave me a sad smile as the last few notes of the song rang out. "I hope she's found some semblance of peace. She passed away almost two years after Olivia graduated high school. I was just thankful she didn't die while Olivia was still in high school, so she wasn't stuck with our father."

My chest ached when I remembered the first time Lottie told me that she had sacrificed so much of her life that she felt like she had missed out. Now I realized that she had played the role of protector for Olivia and had been forced to grow up sooner than she should have. I wanted to add ten million more items to her bucket list and give her the experiences that she had always deserved.

"I'm not sure if this is crossing a line," I started as a plan began to form in my head. "Can we spend Christmas Day together?"

Surprise flashed across Lottie's face as if the idea had never crossed her mind and I promised myself there would be a time where she never wondered if we would spend holidays together again.

"Do you care if Olivia is there?"

"I want her to be there," I told her.

Because I would be damned if those two women didn't get to experience a Christmas Day full of magic and love.