Chapter 28 Lottie

Chapter 28

Lottie

"So, when are we going to discuss Christmas?" Olivia asked me as the two of us got ready on my bedroom floor.

The week following Christmas had been full of trying to prepare for the game the day before New Year's Eve. Things between Nolan and me fell into a perfectly comfortable routine as we prepared for him to play potentially his last regular season game. His coaching staff had already expressed interest in giving Caleb the last game of the season for more experience and to give Nolan rest before the playoffs. Today's game was solely for working out any last kinks in plays that they would need for the postseason before Caleb took over with the offense. And when the team came away with a win, we solidified our first-place ranking in the postseason.

Nolan and I went through our normal routine every day. The attraction and sense of comfort I felt for him had only grown after he had given both me and Olivia the Christmas of our dreams. The two of us had crossed every professional boundary on Christmas, with neither of us able to deny the chemistry between us.

Somehow, I'd managed to brush off Olivia's inquiries about what happened between Nolan and me after she'd left, but it had only been a matter of time before she cornered me again and I had no way of avoiding answering. The two of us were getting ready for the New Year's party at Nolan's parents' house, applying our makeup in silence, when Olivia turned to me with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not sure what there is to talk about," I started, even though I knew it was a lost cause to try and deflect again.

"Just the fact that he was thoughtful enough to try and make this Christmas one that you and I would remember. Or that he's invited both of us to a New Year's Eve party at his parents' house." Olivia stopped applying her eyeshadow so she could turn and look at me head on.

"We're just seeing where things are going," I told her with a shrug.

Olivia scoffed as if she couldn't believe that was the avenue I was trying to take with her of all people. She turned back around and threw her makeup brush back in her bag.

"Lottie, I love you," my sister started, "but I'm tired of watching you play second fiddle to everyone else around you in your life. When are you going to go after what you want instead of always playing it cautious solely because that's what is expected of you?"

"Not everyone can be as unexpected as you are," I snapped back at Olivia, heat filling my cheeks for having to defend myself to her.

"Because you never had the chance to be a little wild. You always had to do what's best for me." Olivia's features softened as she reached for my hands. "But you weren't meant to be the parent in this relationship, Lottie. You have your own life to live. I'm an adult and you don't have to play that role anymore. So maybe it's time you go after what you want in your life. I've already watched you step out of your comfort zone these past few months. I think there are a few items left on your bucket list."

Olivia's message was clear.

My eyes drifted toward the door where I could see the list stuck up on my fridge. Everything was crossed out except for kissing someone on New Year's Eve and finding that spark with someone. Both of those felt like they could be crossed off after tonight if I just summoned up enough courage to do something about it.

"You and I both know that you've found someone special." Olivia gave me one more look before she turned back to the mirror in front of her to finish her hair. "Take a risk tonight, Lottie. Have fun for once."

"Take a risk," I whispered to myself as Olivia and I climbed the stairs of Harry and Francesca's porch.

Harry and Francesca lived in a suburb on the south side of the city. Tall trees lined either side of the road like sentinels welcoming us to the neighborhood as we drove to the address that Nolan had sent me. The sun had set hours ago, and the darkness already wrapped around everything, but Nolan's parents' house shone out like a beacon with golden light spilling from the massive windows on the first floor. The snow that had been steadily coming down all week had finally stopped, leaving everything draped in a blanket of white. Cars already lined the street and filled their driveway when we arrived, and we could see the shadows of people on the other side of the curtains.

"What's going through that beautiful head of yours?" Olivia asked me as we stopped at the front door.

The corners of my lips pulled downwards as I tried to put a name to what was happening. "I'm not sure why I feel nervous. These people are our friends, and nothing has changed."

Olivia reached down to lace her hand in mine. "Well, that's not true, Lottie. You've changed. You aren't the same woman who started this season with the Bobcats. But that doesn't change the fact that the people inside are your family, our family."

My sister let me take a few moments to let her words sink in before she reached out to ring the doorbell. That golden light that looked so inviting from the outside spilled out as Francesca stood on the other side of the open door. She wore a light-up New Year's headband and the most welcoming smile.

"Lottie!" In an instant her arms were wrapped around me and just like the last time she hugged me on Christmas Eve, I sank into her arms and allowed their comfort to wrap around me. Every time that I had wanted a hug from someone who cared about me rose closer to the surface.

Memories of my father ignoring me when he got home, more concerned about opening a beer from the fridge or whatever my mother had cooked for dinner. Then memories of my mother, so beaten down by my father's verbal abuse that she could barely care for herself, much less me or Olivia.

"And you must be Lottie's sister!" Francesca exclaimed when she caught sight of Olivia over my shoulder.

My sister shifted awkwardly from one foot to the next as Francesca's warmth was directed at her.

"You must be Francesca," she responded nervously.

Francesca waved my sister off. "Please, call me Fran. Only my mother called me Francesca."

I watched Olivia stiffen as Fran released me and wrapped my sister in her arms. Olivia looked at me with wide eyes, unsure of what to do, before she finally wrapped her arms around Fran and welcomed the kind of hug that she also had been missing most of her childhood.

"I know you two are about to liven this party up," Fran exclaimed as she looped her arms through each of ours and pulled us inside.

If Fran herself was dressed for the occasion, her house was decorated for the party of the year. Gold and white balloons covered every inch of the ceiling with the tails of the balloons hanging down like confetti. Disco balls that were cut in half held bottles of champagne in various locations. Plates of food covered nearly every available surface. New Year's Eve glasses sat on an entry table for guests to grab.

"Lottie? Olivia?" The three of us were stopped in our tracks by Derek, who had a pair of New Year's Eve glasses sitting slightly askew on his face and a silver boa wrapped around his neck. A half-drunk glass of champagne dangled from his fingers as he pulled me into a hug and then my sister, whose cheeks turned a suspicious shade of red when she pulled away.

"Having a good time?" I asked Derek, eyeing the drink in his hand. There was no way that was his first of the night.

"Well, you see," Derek started, swaying slightly. "Nolan bribed me into coming over early to help with the set up and Fran put me on balloon duty. After about the hundredth balloon, I needed something to quench my thirst."

Olivia slipped away from Fran and wrapped an arm around Derek's back. "Direct me to the liquor, kind sir."

Derek's eyes lit up behind his New Year's Eve glasses. "Right this way, m'lady."

Fran and I exchanged a smile as we watched the pair weave their way into the party. Soft music played from built-in speakers throughout the house and mingled with the sound of many different conversations happening throughout the space. Lots of the team were scattered around inside of Fran's home, and I even spotted Adam Steel and his wife.

"Do you guys do this every year?" I asked, taken aback by the sheer amount of people that Nolan's parents were hosting.

"Oh goodness, no." Fran laughed at the idea. "We've done it a couple of times over the years. Nolan's apartment isn't nearly as big as our home, and he likes being able to have his team all in one place to celebrate the holidays. It's like his way of giving back to them. We just wanted to do this one last time before we don't have the chance again."

Fran paused in the entryway to her kitchen where I finally spotted Nolan conversing with his father. He was wearing a black sweater with a pair of dark jeans and brown boots that matched the color of his eyes. His brown hair was styled, and his face was freshly shaven. But it was the easy smile that was the best accessory he was wearing. Nearly all the tension I'd seen in the set of his shoulders from the beginning of the season was gone and, in its place stood a man who was enjoying where he was at in life while surrounded by the people he loved.

"I will never get over having all this energy under our roof." Fran patted my arm. "Now, no matter how much I love your company, I know I am not the person you truly want to spend your time with tonight."

With a wink, Fran drifted back into the party, leaving me in the kitchen staring at the side profile of the man I'd been so conflicted over these past few months. But as I stood in a room full of people that had helped knowingly or unknowingly to heal a piece of the little girl within me, I found a spark of courage. I wanted my life to be one where I lived for the moments like tonight, surrounded by friends and family. Not full of worry about how the things that I wanted would affect my career or that I was undeserving of them.

Harry noticed me first. "Lottie! You made it."

My eyes were locked on Nolan though, as I watched, in what felt like slow motion, as he turned around to see me. His entire face lit up as soon as he saw me, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled. Like a glimpse of the future, I saw Nolan with deeper-set wrinkles around his eyes, grey peppering the edges of his hair, and a salt and pepper beard that framed his sharp jawline. Those same eyes but years older still looked at me the same way they were right now.

"Happy New Year, Lottie," he greeted. He reached out his arms like he wanted to pull me into a hug, before thinking better of it and dropping them back to his sides.

Take a risk.

Before I could lose the courage I'd found, I slipped my arms around his waist and tucked myself into his body. Nolan stiffened against me but only for a second before his arms wrapped around my body and pulled me in tighter.

"You look breathtaking," Nolan bent down to whisper into my ear.

When I pulled back out of his arms, I noticed that his father was nowhere to be found and it was only the two of us, tucked away in our own corner of the kitchen.

"This place looks amazing," I told Nolan as I took in yet another room filled with balloons, disco balls, and more food than I could fathom.

"My mom and I had a fun time getting all of this ready," Nolan told me as he admired all his hard work.

Take a risk.

But before I could open my mouth, Nolan slanted his mouth over mine, silencing my thoughts as he pulled me into his arms. I didn't even register in the moment that his parents were watching us with wide smiles from the doorway of the kitchen before they left to give us some privacy. All I could focus on was the feel of his lips and the overwhelming sense of happiness I felt whenever I was in his arms.

"Wait." I managed to pull away with bruised lips and heavy eyelids. Nolan was practically a mirror image, like he'd already drunk a few bottles of champagne. "I have a question."

Nolan nodded, urging me to go on.

"Will you be my kiss at midnight?" I asked.

His laugh filled my ears like music before he nodded his head. "It would be the greatest honor I'd have all year."

I glanced around the empty kitchen to ensure no one was close enough to hear me as I stood on tiptoes to whisper in Nolan's ear. He bowed his head to meet me halfway and I was immediately enveloped in his cologne—vanilla and cashmere. "Maybe we can sneak away before the night really gets going?"

Nolan's eyes flashed with surprise as if he hadn't imagined I would ever suggest sneaking off to somewhere private in his parents' house full of our friends and family. To be honest, a few months ago I wouldn't be able to believe it either, but Nolan Hill made me feel so emotionally and physically safe with him that I finally felt comfortable enough to reach for a few wild ideas.

Take a risk.

"I know just the place," Nolan told me, his surprise morphing into a smile that fit a co-conspirator.

He wrapped his hand around mine and together we weaved through the crowd of people, greeting those that saw us before climbing the stairs. The noise faded away as soon as we reached the top where a hallway stretched out with various doors on either side. A runner softened our footsteps as we crept into a room that Nolan opened. It looked to have been recently updated, but clearly still held signs of who used to occupy it based on the trophies that decorated the shelving on the walls and the framed posters of old NFL quarterbacks from when we were young.

"Was this your bedroom when you were a kid?" I asked as my hand trailed across the top of the dresser, just in front of three framed pictures of Nolan as a kid with braces and the same wide smile that I loved.

"It was." Nolan stood near the bed, watching me with unfiltered emotion on his face. It nearly took my breath away to see the way he was drinking me in. His eyes were full of so much emotion that I had to remind myself not to run out the door, to be brave. Because I deserved this moment. I deserved to be loved. I deserved him .

"And that was yours?" I asked, pointing to the teddy bear on the chair in the corner, heat crawling up my neck as his gaze stayed on me without wavering. Nolan knew what I was pointing to with just a quick glance before his eyes were back on me.

"That is Theo the Bear," he told me with a hint of that brilliant smile pulling at the corners of his lips. With each word, he took a step toward me until he was only a step away.

His arms reached out to wrap around my waist and pull me into his chest. "Everything in this room is mine," he told me with a squeeze of his arms. "Especially you."

It was becoming more and more noticeable how the moment I was in Nolan's arms, my body turned into jelly. Nolan made it incredibly difficult to keep second-guessing if I was worthy enough for him by the way he held me to his body like I was the most precious thing he'd ever had in his hands or the way his breath hitched at the first sweep of our mouths.

Nolan's hands slid down my back, sending tingles in their wake, before he lifted me into his arms and turned to walk us toward his childhood bed. There was this underlying need for devouring each other as the desire in our kisses intensified with each passing moment. Our hands mirrored the desire in our kisses as we both tried to remove as many layers of clothing that were between us as quickly as we could.

The two of us felt like either side of a string that had always belonged to the other half, just waiting until we eventually met in the middle.

Skin slid against skin, finally free of the clothes keeping us from one another. Nolan hovered over me, his muscular body on full display as he looked down at me like he was ready to worship at my altar. I reached out to let my hands trail over his shoulders, feeling the way his muscles tensed at my touch. They dipped around to his back where I let my fingernails dig into his shoulder blades, driven purely by the need building inside of me.

Nolan's hips bucked toward me at the bite of my nails.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, his words meant for only me inside our little oasis as a party raged on downstairs. His eyes held an emotion I was too scared to name in the moment, too afraid that I might be wrong, and it would pop the bubble that we'd created.

His hands slid underneath my back and my legs wrapped around his waist, letting him know exactly what my body desperately wanted right now.

"Condom?" I whispered into the dark as our bodies first pressed together, eliciting a sigh of pleasure from me and groan from him. Nolan pulled away and his absence was immediately felt as he went to dig for his wallet in the pocket of his pants. I breathed a sigh of relief because if we had to go searching around his room for a dusty old condom from his high school days I might have died on the spot.

"You have taken up residence in nearly every free square foot of my mind," Nolan told me as he settled back over the top of me. He kissed down my body, setting fireworks off inside of me with every pass of his lips against my skin. One of his hands reached up to trace the outline of my lips and I sucked a finger into my mouth the moment he parted my lips. A growl of approval sounded from somewhere down by my legs as he began to work me over. I reached over to grab a pillow, knowing I would need to muffle my cries at the rate that Nolan was going. My hands tangled in the thick locks of his hair and when I breathed his name out, he looked up at me with a devilish smile.

That smile should have been a warning for what was to come. The confident trail of kisses he placed across my body left me trembling even before Nolan slid into me. I tried to follow his lead by going slow and enjoying the moment, but the desire building inside of me had me taking the lead in a way that left us both gasping. It felt chaotic and wild to let myself go like that, but I felt safe in Nolan's arms the entire time. Never forgetting that he was there worshipping every inch of me.

The moment the two of us found release, the balloon of pleasure building in the room finally popped. The only sound was our deep breaths as we gulped down any air that we could. Nolan's muscular chest heaved in and out as he tried to catch his breath, while I lay under him, feeling like I was having an out-of-body experience.

Nolan lowered his forehead down to mine. "Holy shit. Fuck," he breathed.

"Yeah, we already did that," I got out between breaths, which drew giggles from us both.

The sound finally returned to my ears as Nolan stood up from the bed and extended his hand to me.

"Do you think anyone has noticed that we're gone?" I asked as he handed me my clothes.

"I doubt it," he replied as he reached up to pat down the stray hairs on my head that would have given sex-hair vibes the second we walked downstairs.

I glanced at the bed to see that we'd knocked nearly every pillow off, and the bedspread was askew. "We should fix that."

"Definitely," Nolan agreed.

Once the room looked like we had never been there, the two of us walked back down the stairs to rejoin the rest of the party.

"Hey, lovebirds," we heard Derek call out from the living room as our feet hit the first floor. "It's trivia time. Get in here and stop making out in the kitchen."

The two of us shared a sheepish look as we realized we might not have been as discreet as we thought we were when we snuck upstairs.

"I think they noticed," Nolan leaned over to whisper in my ear.

With my hand in his, we joined the rest of our friends and family in his parents' living room for a game of trivia as we waited for the remaining minutes of this year to tick away and welcome the new year that was already looking much more promising than the last.