19. HAZEL

19

HAZEL

"Get those boxes! Don't let Hazel pick up any! Maverick, move! Jay, faster!"

I laugh as Wes barks orders at everyone. Nina and I are sitting on the back deck of Wes' house with iced tea. It's unseasonably warm today but I know it's our last little bout of nice weather.

I'm feeling good physically. The nausea seems to have dissipated and besides just being tired, I'm left feeling almost human again.

Emotionally, though, is a different story.

After I told Wes about the baby, and braced myself for him to take off, he actually surprised me by doing the opposite. We talked things out briefly, which is usually how we get by. We get serious but it doesn't last long before we need to break from that line of conversation. I did get more than usual though and when he admitted to being scared, my heart hurt for him.

Wes carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and after learning bits and pieces about his family and certain events, I tried to comfort him, let him know it's okay to fail, to not always be perfect.

"You picked a perfect day to move," Nina says, sipping her drink. "Either way, you know those three weren't going to let us do anything."

"I agree, and we can unpack stuff later. For now, I'm kind of having fun watching them." We giggle as we see Maverick struggle with a box and Jay gives him a push.

"Wes seems to have pulled a complete one hundred eighty-degree turnaround, huh?"

"Mm." I make a humming noise, not able to believe it either.

After I told him, I expected radio silence, but that's not what I got. He's been to my house each night after I get off my shift. He's been bringing me all different types of food because I never know what I'll feel like eating. Most nights he sleeps over and if he doesn't, he texts me early in the morning when he leaves for work. He's even shown up at the hospital with lunch.

And then he asked the question I never thought I'd hear again. He asked me to move in, but for real this time. There was no alluding to it, there was no "until you find a place" like when I was in college. He made it a point for me to know he wanted me under the same roof as him. He made a joke about not having his baby momma living alone and I knew it was his way of coping. Which is fine and brings us to today.

"How does that make you feel?"

"Are you a therapist now or still a librarian?"

She laughs. "I'm sure I can find you a book about men's crazy behavior."

"Not sure I want to read about it. I've already been living it for eight years."

"Maybe all it took was this baby to make him understand his feelings."

I shrug. "I wish he'd understand that my feelings need some physical touch."

We haven't slept together since finding out. It almost feels like we're dating again, from the beginning where he's being extremely gentleman-like, but my body is raging and I don't need a gentleman right now.

She snickers. "Yup, you're at that stage in pregnancy. I figured that's why he wanted you close. So he could take care of everything you need."

"He's feeding me but that's it. I'm going to be five hundred pounds if this keeps up and then he'll never want to touch me!"

"He loves you and he loves your body. Stop it."

"Then why won't he do anything about it? We've never had an issue in that department."

"Have you talked to him?"

"No. He's been so obsessed with taking care of me, I almost didn't want to say something to snap him out of it."

"Hazel, you can't live like this either though, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You need to talk it out. You need to question his behavior if something isn't sitting right with you. Ask for whatever you need. Don't let yourself go backwards."

"I know. Maybe I'll just let my little comments slip out like they usually do."

"Exactly. Don't hold back. Tease him. I know you like to."

We watch the guys continue to bring box after box into his house. "Hazel, you'd tell me if you weren't happy, right?"

I reach for her hand. "Of course, I would. Nina, I am happy. I'm happy in this town, with you here, I'm happy with my job and yes, I'm happy with Wes. It's not ideal, but nothing about us has ever been ideal."

"I just don't like the back and forth for so many years. I know you love him, but is this love?"

I let out a long sigh, forcing myself to keep the tears inside. "I think Wes shows love differently."

I look up to see him walking toward us, smiling."How are you feeling, baby?" he asks. I assess him, trying to see if I see any signs of distress, but he seems like the same old Wes to me except now he has an aura of pride about him. He kneels beside the chair to give me a quick kiss, before putting his hand over my belly.

"I'm fine. I just wish you'd let me help," I complain.

"No fucking way. I'm going to take care of everything."

Jay and Mav come up beside him. "Looks like you've already done enough, Wes." Mav snickers at him, and I notice Wes puffs his chest a little bit.

"And he did it so good , too," I reply and the guys razz him a bit. Then I lean into him and whisper in his ear, "And I wish he'd do it again."

He pulls back, brows furrowed. "We're allowed to do that?" he whispers back, and I bark out a laugh.

"We're more than allowed to do that. In fact, it's encouraged. So whatever fear is running through your brain. Get rid of it."

I'm forceful with my words and the smile that spreads across his face tells me we'll be changing it up tonight.

"Come on, you guys have done enough for today. All my stuff is inside, we can unpack whenever. Let's order pizza."