Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Matt

M y gut twists as I take the final turn onto Frat Row. I hate myself for saying what I did. I was so fucked in the head, my words came out harsh. But when she asked me to bring her back to my place, reality hit me square in the jaw. Hunter would be pissed as hell if I broke bro code and dated someone he wanted. If he saw me taking Sienna to my room, he'd have me kicked out by morning. I started weighing my options, began to contemplate whether she was worth it or not, and then the memories flooded back of how she behaved in high school, and I realized I was letting my dick have control. But even still, I shouldn't have said what I did.

God, seeing the tears slip down her cheeks makes me feel like the scum of the earth. My mother raised me better than that. I'm a man of the church, and we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. But I treated her like shit, and now I'm sick with guilt and regret. Regardless of Sienna's actions, I didn't have to be rude, and I need to apologize. The only problem is I still don't have her phone number, and I can't go over to the sorority house because Hunter is there. Fuck.

"Hey, man." Chase lifts his head up from his phone as I enter our room. I thought he was supposed to be out on his "date" tonight. I thought I'd have the place to myself to kneel and pray for forgiveness for my sins against Sienna. But the person I really need to beg forgiveness from is her.

"Did you call out sick tonight or cancel on your date?" I toss my bag down and sit on my bed to pull off my shoes. Maybe he wised up and decided it wasn't worth it. He told me he was going to give Ruby the heads-up, but even if she said she was cool with it, I still thought it was a bad idea. I can't imagine anyone being okay with their boyfriend taking another girl on a "friend" date.

When Chase doesn't answer, I turn. It's the first time since knowing him that he looks to be in a bad mood. The guy is usually the court jester of the house, always easygoing and cracking jokes, but he looks like his night was about as good as how mine ended.

"Stella and I went out to dinner, then I took her back to the house."

So he did go on the date.

"You worried about Ruby flipping a switch on you?"

The edges of his eyes crease at the mention of his girlfriend's name, and my stomach twists again. "You didn't tell her, did you?"

"Fuck, man." He runs his hands down his face, his voice so weighted with regret. "I chickened out. I didn't want to make her nervous, Matt. You know how girls can get. I didn't want her worrying that I'm interested in someone else or looking. It's not worth losing her trust over a stupid dare when the date meant nothing. It was just two people grabbing some food together."

I seriously want to shake him. He wouldn't have to lose anything if he'd just been upfront about it.

"The date with Stella literally was us eating and talking about Greek life. After dinner, I took her home, and that was that. But now I feel shitty for going behind Ruby's back, and I don't know whether to tell her or let it go and pretend it never happened."

This is exactly why he should've been honest with her. Now, he has to go and ask for forgiveness instead of permission. And she'll no doubt wonder why he kept it from her if it meant nothing to him. He's backed himself into a corner and he knows it. But if he doesn't come clean, this shit is going to eat away at him.

"I think you should tell her."

He lets out a sigh and nods. "I know. Just need to figure out how and when."

"If it makes you feel any better, I royally fucked up tonight, too," I tell him, trying to lighten his mood.

He cocks a brow at me. "What the fuck could you have done? You're a saint."

I drop my head back on my pillow, shaking my head as I look up to the ceiling. "I practically begged Sienna to fuck me, then I turned around and told her to fuck off."

"You slept with her?" He gasps in shock.

Damn, I wanted to. Never came so close to breaking my vow in my life, but then I woke the fuck up. "No. I just put the moves on her. Then when she offered to go further, I told her it was never going to happen because she was a bitch in high school."

"Dude. What the hell?" He's shaking his head. "Is Hunter rubbing off on you?"

Feels that way. My panic of him catching me definitely put me into overdrive with my reaction. Made me say shit I wish I could take back. But I can't.

"And the fucked-up thing is, Chase…" I turn my head and face him. "In spite of how she behaved back in high school, I still like her."

"Okay, well, damn. Way to steal the show. You were more of a dick than me tonight." He shakes his head, smirking. I let out a sigh, not sure what the fuck I'm supposed to do. "You know, Matt. People change. My Ruby was the shyest girl I'd ever met, but look at her now." He smiles wide, the tension easing out of him. "She's come out of her shell and can dirty talk me into a fucking frenzy."

"Dude! Too much!"

He laughs at that, seeming more like himself again. "But I'm serious, man. Now that she's out of that place, she could be different."

"Doesn't matter if she is. Hunter still had her first, and she rejected his ass. There's no way he'd be okay with me dating her." If he can't have her, none of us can.

"Are you really going to let Hunter stand in your way of love?"

I turn my stare back on him.

"Are you?" Chase is the one who took a girl on a date tonight because Hunter demanded it. Me? I'm not choosing the frat over love. I'm thinking about my future and who I want as a wife and a life partner. And someone who's capable of tearing their friend to shreds isn't the girl for me.

"Touché, dipshit." He turns back to his phone, and the guilt is back on his face, weighing heavy on his shoulders again as he decides whether he's going to make that call now. And I…try not to think about the tears running down Sienna's face, or the fact that I want to kiss them off her cheeks and grovel on my knees for forgiveness.