Chapter 6

SIX

Two more omegas had joined their waiting room pack before they got more news: Jax Jenks and Jaysan Danvers, two of Liam's best friends of more than twenty years. Miko hugged both omegins when they came to him.Two of their sons, Jaxson and Morgyn, were two of Linus's closest friends. Miko was a little surprised Jaxson and Morgyn hadn't come, too, but the waiting room could only hold so many people.

The pair was probably huddled up with Symon and their other friends at their house. Morgyn had invited him over last night and this morning, but Miko hadn't felt sociable at all. He didn't have any desire to be around this large group of people right now, either, but this wasn't about him. It was about solidarity for Linus.

Silence fell across the room in a wave that finally hit Miko, and he looked up. Demir stood just inside the doorway, hands loose by his sides, face nearly as pale as his lab coat. Tarius, Layne and Aven circled their brother fast. Miko stood and barely heard Demir say, "He knows," before falling into Aven's arms.

Miko stared, his heart breaking for the four brothers as they embraced each other, soft sniffles audible over murmurs of support. In all the days and weeks that Peyton had been comatose, Miko had never seen Demir lose it. During those frustrating days and weeks and months post-coma, while Peyton healed but struggled to remember his loved ones, Miko had never seen Demir lose it.

Witnessing his baby brother learning that he'd lost his leg? That there was a medical situation in front of him that Demir was unequipped to fix? It was too much for the kind, determined physician to take.

Peyton joined the group to comfort Layne. Miko wanted to go to them, to hold his family close, but wasn't sure he was wanted. No matter how many times the Higgs family said they didn't blame Miko for the accident, the plain truth was Linus wouldn't have been in that speeding taxi if it wasn't for Miko. The driver wouldn't have run the light if Miko wasn't going into heat.

It was his fault. So Miko continued hiding in the corner.

More than Demir's breakdown, watching a nurse bring Isa Higgs out in a wheelchair punched Miko in the stomach, and he wasn't the only person who gasped out loud. "I'm all right," Isa said, even though he had the complexion of paste. "I got a little dizzy and Liam went into overprotective mode. Layne, Papa's asking for you."

Miko would not cry over that, he would not. But why would Liam want Miko? If anyone was going to call out for him, it would be Linus, right? Linus clearly wanted his brother, though, and that was okay. Linus must be so confused and angry right now, and Miko ached to go to him. To try and soothe his hurt.

Jaysan sank into the chair beside him and slung an arm across Miko's shoulders. Miko leaned into the older omegin, grateful for the support from one of his honorary uncles. And also thankful that the Danvers family had been mostly drama-free for the last few years, only hovering at the perimeter of their friends' familial dysfunction and traumas.

"You look wound pretty tight," Jaysan said. "Seeing Linus yesterday didn't help much, huh?"

Miko tensed. "What? Liam told you?"

"He mentioned it this morning when we spoke on the phone. After the accident you were both in, I imagine you needed to see Linus with your own two eyes?"

"Yeah, I did." See him, smell him, know he's meant to be mine. "He was so still. I can't imagine how he's feeling right now."

"I think I can relate just a tiny bit. When I woke up in that dank room with my vocal chords cut? I lost a part of myself that I never got back."

"Right."

Twenty-three years ago, two greedy alphas had illegally purchased orphaned omegas from a halfway house, kept them locked up, surgically altered their voices to just above a whisper, and forced them to fight each other while pregnant. Liam, Jaysan, Jax and Omi had all been part of that fight ring, but only Jax had been permanently muted. They and their mates and friends had fought tirelessly since before Miko was born to make sure nothing like that ever happened again in Sansbury or elsewhere. To make sure their kids—Miko's generation—avoided that sort of torture and emotional agony.

Miko had nearly lost his brother Peyton, and they'd both nearly lost Layne, too. Their friend group had been through a lot over the last couple of years, but only one of them could really understand the loss Linus was going through. He glanced around the waiting room, but Rei wasn't there.

Alpha Rei Bloom had lost ninety-percent of his sight in a freak accident several years ago. It had taken time, patience, love, and three months in a blind school, but Rei had overcome his vision challenges, and he was happily mated to a sweet omega named Kinley.

"I've never really lost anything," Miko whispered.

"Hey, this is not a competition," Jaysan replied. "Not at all. We don't want any of you kids to hurt, not for any reason. I'm thankful every day that my boys are all healthy, happy and thriving. Sure, we had that drug scare with Aeron ten years ago, but he's never had a relapse, and he's so happy with Khory and Asher."

"Your house nearly burned down."

"That was scary, yes, but it didn't, and we're all fine." Jaysan lightly ruffled his hair. "Listen, I know things are awful right now, but do you know what we have that gets us through every challenge life throws at us?

"Sugar cookies from Perks?"

"That, too. Family, Miko, we have family. This whole room is full of our family." He cocked his head at a pair of elderly men two seats down. "Except them, I don't know who they are."

Miko snorted. "Okay, I get your point. It's just so hard to see the brighter side of things when you're actively mired down in the shit. Linus is here because of me."

"Now you know that's not true. A lot of variables needed to line up for that accident to happen, and then more variables had to happen with the rescue workers, the ER staff, and the choices Liam and Isa made. You are not the sole cause of Linus losing his leg, Miko Tovey, so stop thinking that."

Jaysan snapped the last sentence in a way that shut Miko up. He still didn't agree but wasn't going to argue the point, not now when all their energy needed to be directed toward Linus. Miko's guilt, self-blame and huge bondmate secret could wait.

"And speaking of sugar cookies from Perks," Jaysan said with a nudge in Miko's ribs.

Miko winced at the slight twinge of pain then looked up. Omi stood a few feet inside the room and was scanning—their eyes met. "Omi said he'd be a few hours."

"I texted him when I saw how upset Demir was. You're welcome."

Jaysan moved away, and Omi replaced him in the chair. He put a bakery box on the floor by their feet and tucked Miko close against him. Miko pressed his forehead against his omegin's neck and breathed. These hugs were everything and always had been. Omi's hugs were comfort and support and a promise that everything would be okay.

They sat quietly for a while, until Omi asked, "Why are you way over here?"

"I don't feel welcome over there."

"I bet you're more welcome than you think. Remember, there's only four people besides you who know what you felt yesterday, and none of us are going to say anything until you're ready."

"How do you know Liam won't say anything to Linus, or even Layne, by accident? Honestly, I'm surprised no one has scented anything off about me after being around Linus yesterday."

"You probably haven't been close enough to him since your heat to really affect your scent. Yes, it does change after a first heat, but it won't begin to mingle with Linus until you're physical. Mine and Mikel's didn't until we spent a lot of time kissing."

Miko grunted. "No more info, please. I get it. I just…I've never felt so outside of something that I'm squarely in the middle of, and I don't know what to do. Staying away seems safest, but I couldn't not be here knowing Linus is awake."

"I think coming was the right thing, even if it feels wrong. I know feeling the bond can be a scary thing for an omega. I watched my friends struggle. You've watched your friends struggle. And what's happened every single time?"

"They ended up happily mated."

"So what makes you think you'll have anything less?"

Because we've all been too lucky, too many times, and one day we're bound to lose.

"I'm glad you came when Jaysan texted you," Miko said instead. "Is Dad coming?"

"Later tonight, around suppertime. He volunteered to bring food for whoever was still here."

"I guess that depends on what the doctors say about keeping Linus in ICU, and then what he wants in terms of visitors. Linus might not want to see anyone but his family tonight."

"Hey, baby, come on. Maybe we aren't blood, but we are all family."

"Yeah." Miko glanced across the room where Uncle Jaysan was talking to Yosef and Jax. As upset and uncertain as he was, Miko knew that single thing to be true. "Yeah, we're family."

Linus was really starting to hate this woozy, floating state of not being quite awake but also not so doped up he was asleep. After yelling for Miko, things had gotten hazy. He could hear people talking nearby. At first it was Dad and Papa. Then Papa and…Layne? Yeah, Layne. His sense of smell was still fucked all to hell and basically useless. Linus tried to focus his eyes but whatever the doctor had given him wasn't letting him do much of anything except hover.

Hover and try to feel his right leg. The shin and foot he knew were still there. They were there because they hurt, damn it. But his parents wouldn't tell such a cruel lie. Maybe a doctor who didn't know him, didn't know all Linus's soccer plans, would tell a savage lie meant to wound him. Not his parents.

He wanted to ask Layne why they'd lied but his lips were numb, tongue too thick to lift.

I need Miko, he'll tell me the truth. Please, Miko.

He didn't understand this constant, itching need to see Miko with his own eyes, to know for sure he hadn't been horribly injured in the accident. Or worse, he was dead and no one would tell him, because of how badly Linus was hurt himself, and he hated this! He tried to shut his mind off, to relax and sleep so the damned sedative wore off faster.

Instead, his brain was full of Miko. Miko's bright, cheerful laughter; his sunshine smile and slightly crooked front tooth; the way their bodies fit together perfectly, as if made to complete each other.

How do I know that?

He had a concussion. Memory loss wasn't unusual. Something had happened at the party. Why else would he and Miko have taken a taxi home? Had someone hurt Miko at the party? Forced him to do something and Linus took him home because he was upset?

Linus growled, and the noise got Papa and Layne's attention. They stood on the same side of his bed, visible but still sort of fuzzy.

"It'll be okay, baby boy," Papa said. "Just rest."

Nothing was okay, nothing was going to be okay until he saw Miko. Until they spoke and he told Linus about the party. But his damned numb lips and sausage tongue weren't cooperating.

"Should we tell his nurse that he's agitated again?" Layne asked.

No! No more drugs, I need to think.

Linus forced his racing thoughts to slow a little, so his family didn't overreact and get him dosed again. He could calm down for Miko. Calm down for now, so he could be ragey later when he learned what was wrong. Focusing on this, on Miko, helped him not think about the horrible trick the doctor had played on him. They hadn't cut off his leg. Nope.

But Dad...the way he'd broken down…nope.

Big double-nope!

Papa started talking again, in a rhythmic way that suggested he was reading out loud. At some point, Layne swapped out for Aven. And then Aven for Tarius. Papa left and Dad joined Tarius. It was like a weird game of musical relatives, and Linus was over it. His tongue felt less thick, his head less swimmy. Tarius gave him ice chips and that helped a lot. Someone said the words "dinner tray" and "clear liquids" but Linus didn't care. He focused on moving his lips, remembering how to form words and make sounds.

The fog lifted and those old, sharp pains filled its void, but Linus could deal with the pain in his head and hips and legs for now, if it got him closer to answers. "M-m-me. Coe."

"What was that, son?" Dad was directly in Linus's line of sight, still pasty pale and sad-eyed. "What do you need?"

"Miko."

"Miko's fine, remember? We told you, just scrapes and bruises."

"Need him. Please."

Dad blinked hard twice. "You need to see Miko?"

"Yes. Please. Need to know."

"To know what?"

"Probably to see for himself that Miko is okay," Tarius said. "You can sneak him in again like you did yesterday."

Miko had seen him yesterday? Linus smiled. "Yes, need to. See him. For myself. Talk to him."

Dad hesitated, which was weird, but this entire situation was shitty and weird. "All right, I'll go speak to your nurse. Hopefully, we'll get you out of the ICU soon and into a regular room. I need all my boys together in one place again." His voice cracked on the final few words, and then Dad was gone.

"I promise Miko is okay," Tarius said. "He's obviously shaken and upset about you being hurt so badly, but there's no permanent harm done. You'll be able to see for yourself soon."

Yes, see and ask and know for himself why he and Miko left the party together. To discover if there was a guy out there Linus needed to hunt down and punish for hurting his mate.

Wait, my what?

No, not mate, his very best omega friend.

Right?

He tried to ignore the lump of his right leg, which he now realized was propped up, probably with a pillow. He couldn't think about that, couldn't think of the choice that had been made for him, to cut off his fucking leg. Not right now. That shit could wait until he spoke to Miko and found out more about the party. He couldn't handle anything else, or he'd probably get sedated again.

Five minutes or fifty, Linus didn't know or care how many passed before the sensation of being watched prickled across his skin, a kind of awareness he'd never experienced before. It drew his attention to the open room's wide doorway and his heart skipped with joy. Miko stood just inside, hands clasped in front of him, head slightly bowed like a chastised student facing the principal. The timidity was new and it worried Linus. He also disliked the visible bruises on Miko's face, and he truly hoped they were from the accident and not anything that happened before.

"Hey," Linus said. "I'm so glad. Let you in."

"Your sire is pretty persuasive when he wants to be," Miko told the floor. "Probably all that experience as a constable."

"Come closer. Need to talk to you. Alone?"

"I'll be outside," Tarius said. "If he tries to get up, Miko, you shout for me."

Miko looked at Tarius, nodded, then dropped his head again. Linus hated that submissiveness, and he hated that when Tarius left, Miko only took a few, tentative steps forward. Despite the distance and his current issues with smelling anything over the antiseptic odor of the hospital, Linus swore a warm, sweet scent began permeating the room. He didn't care if it was real or just a sense memory; it filled Linus with hope and left him slightly dizzy.

"Everyone kept saying. You were okay." Linus fumbled for some sort of control so he could sit the bed up higher, but his fingers found nothing. "So glad to see you. Are you hurt? In pain?"

Miko finally raised his head, his dark eyes wide. "Me? I'm still sore but Linus…your leg. I am so fucking sorry."

"You didn't do it."

"We were in that taxi because of me. I might as well have held the scalpel myself." He blanched. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to bring that up. You need to rest and heal, not worry about me."

"Can't help it. At the party…did someone do something? To you?"

"What? No. I mean, at one point we were dancing, and some guy started grinding on me, and I didn't like it, but you pulled me out of there." His lips quirked like he wanted to smile but couldn't remember how. "You made sure I was safe that night."

"So the guy who was grinding on you. Did he do anything else? Like touch you or anything?"

"I mean, yeah, he touched me while we were dancing but—" His eyes widened. "Shit, Linus, nothing like that. I wasn't accosted or anything, it was just dancing. Like I said, you got me out of there. We went upstairs to get away from other people for a while. You protected me before anything bad could happen."

"Good. I'll always protect you, Miko. I don't remember the party. Not really. I remember winning the game. Talking about the party, and vaguely dancing, but that's it. I thought maybe someone hurt you. So that's why we left together."

"No one hurt me. The opposite happened." That smile played on his lips again, before his expression went blank. "We left because I felt my first heat coming on, and you wanted to make sure I got home safely. I wanted you to stay and enjoy your celebration party but you insisted you'd take me, so you called a taxi. And we got in."

"And we got hit."

"Yeah."

Something was still missing from this story, a piece lightly edited out, but Linus couldn't figure out exactly where. Now that his rage over the idea of Miko being hurt by some faceless stranger was fading away, his physical pain levels were rising. He inhaled deeply, unable to distinguish Miko's scent this time, but his presence eased the pain a bit, like a cool hand on a feverish forehead. He didn't understand it but he needed it. Needed something in his pain-addled life to feel good, even if it was temporary.

"Can you come closer?" Linus asked. "I'd love one of your hugs."

Panic flashed in Miko's eyes, raising Linus's internal alarm. "I don't think I should."

"Please? I already hurt everywhere. A hug isn't going to make it worse. Might make it better for a minute."

"If you're in a lot of pain, I'm sure the nurse can do something. I'm surprised you aren't on a morphine drip or something, but I guess since it's been a few days since the surgery, they might not think you need it, and now I'm really rambling because I'm nervous."

"Why? You've never been nervous with me."

"It's just…since my heat, I, um…I guess I'm a little nervous around alphas. Even my friends."

"Oh. I mean, that makes sense." Heat. The party. Horror flushed hot through his chest. "Was it me? Did I do something last weekend when you were going into heat? I didn't force you to go with me, right? Or do something to you in the taxi?"

"No, Linus, stop." Miko finally approached the bed and grabbed his left hand, careful of the two IV lines. The faintest hint of toasted coconut made it through whatever physical or mental barrier had his sense of smell rebelling against him. His heart raced and a pleasant shiver worked its way down his spine from his neck to his groin. The weird cocktail of medication, trauma, stress, and confusion was absolutely fucking with Linus right now. Giving his body these weird mixed signals. Was he really smelling Miko or just remembering his scent?

Had the accident truly fucked with more than just his leg?

At the moment, Linus didn't care. He gently turned his hand so they were palm to palm, fingers loosely twined, and a new thrill shot down his arm. A wonderful sensation based solely on touch that battled all the shocks of pain still ricocheting through his body.

"You were amazing that night, I swear on my own life," Miko said, hoarse, and if he started to cry, Linus wasn't sure what he'd do. "You did nothing wrong and everything right. I'm not scared of you. I adore you for protecting me. I didn't…Linus, I need you to focus on recovering from this. You have a concussion and had a serious surgery, and those are not small things to deal with. Don't focus on me. Focus on you."

"I can't help it. Since I woke up, this is the first time I don't feel completely insane. I don't feel like the floor fell out from under me and I'm in free-fall. I feel grounded and like I can think."

Miko closed his eyes. When they blinked open again, those precious brown orbs glittered with tears. "You don't know how much I love hearing you say that, Linus. I'm glad being here helps, I mean it. And I know I've said it, but I am so fucking sorry about your leg. I'll do anything to make this up to you."

"You didn't cut my leg off." Saying the words out loud crashed them down on Linus's head in a way that made it newly, devastatingly real. He looked down at the lump of his knee and the empty space below. Tried to wiggle toes that weren't there. To flex calf muscles that weren't there. He felt them, swore he hadn't lost them, but they. Were. Not. There.

Something hot and wet splashed his cheeks and dripped off his chin.

"Oh, alpha, please don't cry." Miko leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. His sweet breath caressed Linus's lips, and Linus closed his eyes, drawing on the strength offered by the beautiful omega in front of him. Linus hated crying in front of anyone, but he was safe here with Miko. Safer than he'd felt in a long time.

Safe enough to let it out.

He pulled Miko in close, pressed his face into his omega's neck, and he cried.