Chapter Fifteen

Jesse

“I have something you need to know,” Charlotte said.

I lifted my head from where it hung, looking down into my beer and at my boots, knowing that everything I said depended on her trusting me, which she had no reason to do. Yet I hoped she would. I didn’t know what could happen from here, if anything, but I wanted her to know I was telling the truth, so far as I knew it to be.

“Go ahead,” I said. “It can’t be worse than what is going on with me.”

Her face twisted up in a mask of unease, and I sat back. Whatever she had to say, it wasn’t pleasant. Or she was expecting a reaction that wasn’t. I had to steel myself against whatever it could be just so I wouldn’t react however it was she thought I was going to.

She shifted in her seat and took a deep, long swig of the beer that was still novel to see her drink. When she pulled it away from her lips, she cleared her throat and looked directly into my eyes. As if she wanted to know the words settled in me and that I heard every last one.

“When we met up two years ago, I was single. I didn’t lie to you about that.”

“But you left with your boyfriend,” I began.

“My boss. Not my boyfriend. Mr. Bethel, Tom Bethel, is the CEO of the company. He was there to meet me about a possible promotion. I told you I had something important in the morning. That was it. I had a meeting with him that was supposed to take place in the conference rooms downstairs. But at the last minute, he decided he wanted to go out to eat, so I went with him. I ended up getting the job, actually. But when I came back, you were already gone.”

“You have to be kidding me,” I said. “All this time… you were single, and you came back for me?”

I didn’t know if I should feel elated or furious. Maybe both. What was that guy’s name again? If I ever figured it out, I might wring his damn neck. Two years down the drain.

“I did come back. But you were gone, and I assumed it was like all the other girls. You got to bed me, after all that time, and you were going to move on. I didn’t blame you. I wanted more, but I wasn’t going to push it. Besides, I didn’t have your number or anything.”

“I thought you’d leave me yours,” I said. “Before you left.”

“I was in a massive hurry,” she said. “I thought you’d still be there when I got back. I didn’t expect to go out to lunch or for it to take so long.”

“So if you had come back, and I’d been there, what then?”

She blushed and smiled as she shook her head.

“Probably picking up where we’d left off the night before.”

I grinned and had to change my seating position as parts of my body awoke to the memory of that night. Of how her skin tasted, covered in sweat and hot from effort. How her body felt under my palms. How I’d made her quiver, and she’d made me shake.

“So what now?” I asked.

“That’s where it gets complicated,” she said.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“So… you have a boyfriend? Fiancé?” I swallowed hard, glancing at her hand for a ring, but not being able to see clearly. “A husband?”

“Technically,” she said, “I have a boyfriend. But… well, it’s complicated.”

“Ahh,” I said. “I might have some experience with this. It’s just a physical thing?”

“Actually, no,” she said with just the faintest hint of judgment in her voice, “it’s not physical. It’s the opposite.”

“Oh?”

I didn’t know why, but my spirit buoyed at this. She was an adult in her thirties. She’d clearly had physical relationships other than me. But to know that she wasn’t currently engaged in one lifted my spirits and added to my hunger.

“He’s older. And technically my boss.”

“Bethel?” I exclaimed. “So you went from me thinking you were dating him to actually dating him?”

“No, I told you, he’s married. I’m technically dating his brother.”

I felt like my world was spinning out of control. I breathed out through my nose, trying to calm myself. What the hell?

“His brother? You’re dating some old, rich dude?”

“Technically,” she said, “yes.”

“I see.”

“But I would give it up in a heartbeat to be with you.”

All the anger seeped out of me in an instant. I looked up into those dark eyes and felt myself falling into them again, just like I had every time I saw her, every time I dreamed about her. She was as beautiful as she ever was, perhaps even more so, and though my mind had hardened at the idea that she was unattainable, knowing she would give up her rich boyfriend to be with me was everything my thundering heart could ask.

“Are you sure about that?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level and calm.

“Absolutely,” she said.

“What about our lives? They don’t mix. You’re off in these hotels, and I’m on the road or at the ranch all the time. We’d never see each other.”

She shrugged. “Frankly, that’s what I have right now anyway with Graham. We’ve only really gone out a dozen or so times, and it’s almost always some event or something. Not a real date. We barely know each other. We never see each other. He texts me and asks if I want to accompany him to an event in a few days, I say yes, and he sends a car for me the day of. I don’t even usually see him until I arrive wherever it is.”

“So he flies you all over for events? And you wouldn’t miss that kind of life?”

“Honestly, no,” she said. “Graham is a nice man. A kind man. But he’s not someone I could ever fall in love with. Especially when I already fell in love with you a decade ago.”

“Do you mean that?” I asked.

“I do,” she said.

I nodded. “I have feelings for you, Charlotte. I do. I’ve been thinking about you all the time. For years and years now. You were the only girl I wished I could have held and never let go. The things I feel for you are deeper than anything I ever felt for anyone else by orders of magnitude. But… but so much time has passed, and our lives are so different. I’d have to think about it. But there is a massive problem we’d need to address before we could go anywhere else.”

“I know,” she said, sighing and sitting back, taking another deep pull from her drink. “I understand. Hell, I might need some time to think too. Just because I’ve been thinking about you for a decade doesn’t mean it would work now. But, Jesse, I want you to know I never stopped thinking about you. Not once.”

“Me either.”

“So that just leaves the massive problem.”

“Yes, it does.”

Then, at once, we said the same thing.

“Tamara.”

She groaned and leaned back in her chair, wincing.

“You know you have to tell her,” I said. “Before this goes any further, you have to tell your sister about us. And it doesn’t do any good to start from right now. She needs to know the whole truth. Even the part about me ghosting her and then going out with you. She needs to know the truth, or else it will come back to bite us later.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “Is it worth telling her everything?”

“I think so,” I said. “I wouldn’t hide any of that from my brothers. I know that.”

She nodded. “You’re right.” For a long moment, we sat in the quiet, then she stood. “I should go back. They’re probably worried over there.”

“Probably,” I said.

“I’m… I’m supposed to leave in the morning,” she said.

“Okay.”

“But I need your number. Because I don’t know what I am going to do.”

I grinned. “You’re learning.”

She laughed, and I reveled in the sound. Even after everything that happened tonight, to end it on a note of her laughter was sublime.

We exchanged phone numbers, calling each other to test it and make sure, and then slipped our phones back into our pockets.

“Well,” I said.

“Well,” she repeated, falling into that awkward space where neither of us knew how intimate we should be. Should we hug? Kiss? No, she was technically still with someone. Just a hug? Or nothing at all?

“Come here,” I said, holding my arm out.

She sank into my arms easily, and for a brief moment, I felt like my entire body was tingling, especially the top of my head. Feeling her body molded into mine, smelling her hair just under my nose as I held her head to my chest, it was enough to overwhelm me in the best of ways. I closed my eyes and let myself loose in the moment. When it ended, and she began to pull away, there was the slightest hesitation, as our eyes trained on each other’s and her lips parted ever so slightly.

Oh, how I wanted to kiss those lips. More than I’d ever wanted anything else.

But it would have to wait. The time wasn’t right. Not until everything was settled.

“I’ll let you know what I’m doing tomorrow,” she said.

“I’ll look forward to your text.”

“Goodbye, Jesse,” she said, opening the door to the side yard. I followed her and took the door from her.

“Good night, Charlotte.”

I watched as she crossed to the front, went out through the gate, and made her way down the road. I didn’t take my eyes off of her until I saw her disappear behind the tree that blocked my view of their front porch. When I was satisfied she was there and safe, I finished my beer, cleaned up, and headed upstairs to bed.