Chapter Fourteen

Charlotte

I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

The words reverberated in my mind and brought back painful memories, emotions that had long since hidden themselves deep inside. Thoughts about who I’d thought Jesse was and how that might not have been correct flashed again through my consciousness, and my stomach churned. It was like I was going to be sick.

Was it for real?

“You and I both know that’s bullshit,” Jesse said, stepping to within inches of Arnold’s face.

“I’ll tell you what I know, Jesse. I know you are a piece of crap. You are a petulant child in a man’s body, someone who slept with every girl he could get his hands on because he has no shame, no self-control. Do I believe you knocked up that girl and then took no responsibility for it? You’re damn right I do. And anyone who knows you would say it’s not only plausible, it’s downright probable. Hell, ask your brothers.”

“I don’t need to,” Jesse said. “But what I feel like I need, right now, is to knock you the fuck out.”

“Jesse,” Owen said, putting his massive hand on Jesse’s chest and pulling him back a step, “we don’t need to do this right now. He’s got you hot. Let’s just take a minute.”

“No, I don’t want to take a minute,” Jesse said. “I want you, Arn. I want you and me to go. Right now. Right here!”

But Arnold wasn’t biting. He’d finally gotten under Jesse’s skin and was backing away, heading to his car. All three of the Anderson brothers got into their cars and pulled away, turning off their lights as they pulled onto the road, laughing softly to themselves as Owen literally held Jesse back from jumping them.

“Come back, you cowards!” Jesse shouted as the last of the Anderson cars pulled away. “Come back and fight like a man, dammit!”

“Jesse, calm down,” Owen said. “It’s over. They’re gone.”

“They’ll be back, Owen!” Jesse shouted. “They will always be back! Until we take care of them for good, they will just keep coming back like cockroaches. Our whole lives have been dealing with these pricks, and I’m done with it. I’m done!”

“Jesse,” I said.

My voice was quiet but firm. I felt like I had been rooted to the spot, sadness and anger roiling into a tight ball in my chest. Yet through it, I found strength. I found defiance. I stood my ground and spoke his name, and he stopped. He turned. And he knew.

“Charlotte,” he began.

“We need to talk. Right now.”

“Go to the ranch,” Owen said. “Ain’t nobody there. Luke and Collin are bound to come here, and I’ll stay and wait for them.”

“Yeah, all right,” Jesse said, the vitriol and anger he’d had when the Andersons were there seemingly vanished. “Come on, Charlotte. Let’s go over to the ranch.”

“Fine,” I said.

As we walked down the curved road, Jesse stayed quiet beside me for a long time. We were almost to the entrance when he finally did speak.

“So you heard what Arnold said.”

“I did,” I responded coldly.

“It’s not true.”

“Seems pretty consistent with what she told me ten years ago, Jesse.”

“It’s still not true. That baby isn’t mine.”

I groaned as he led me through the ranch house’s front yard and to the side porch, where he opened the door and let me in. I flopped onto one of the loveseats as he disappeared into the house, flicking on the overhead fan from a switch on the wall as he went. When he came back a moment later, he had four of a six-pack of beer in one hand and a pitcher of lemonade in the other. He sat them down and then pulled out two plastic cups from his back pocket.

“Beer,” I said, holding out a hand.

I wasn’t a beer person, but I felt like I might need the alcohol to get through the night. As I cracked it open and took my first guzzle, I noticed that it actually wasn’t bad. It was some beer I’d never heard of, but it had a big ‘Made in Texas’ logo on it.

“I believe that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you drink a beer,” Jesse said, sitting on a chair near me and cracking open his own beer.

“Don’t get used to it,” I said.

Jesse nodded, taking a sip of his and then leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees. He cleared his throat and stared into his beer can as he talked.

“I met her about a year after you left. We didn’t go out at first because I thought she might be a little nuts, but she was in a friend group I was in, so I saw her pretty often. When I finally did go out with her, it was out of boredom. I seriously just wanted someone to go see a movie with, and she was available. We went, saw the movie, and she got clingy.

“Like I said, I thought she might be a little crazy, so I didn’t drop her hard. I was going to let it play out for a week or two and then just kind of let her down easy.”

“You mean ghost her? Like you did a bunch of other girls? Including my sister?”

He shifted uneasily in his seat and took another sip of his beer.

“Look, I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend material guy in my life,” he began. “But the thing is, I didn’t really give Lacey any indication we were even a couple.”

“You mean besides having sex with her?”

That seemed to cut deep, and I actually found myself feeling bad for the way I’d shot that particular arrow.

“I didn’t have sex with her,” he said. “At least not that I remember. We went on the one date. We saw a movie, and then I brought her home. That’s when things got fuzzy.”

“What do you mean, fuzzy?”

“I… I remember bringing her to her door, and she invited me in for a drink. I didn’t want to, but she kept begging me for just one drink with her, so finally I gave in. I went in… and … I kind of remember her giving me a drink. But then, the next thing I knew I was in my truck and it was four in the morning. Her house was dark, the door shut, and I had my keys in my lap.”

“You don’t remember being with her?”

“No,” he said. “I don’t think I was. My clothes weren’t disheveled or anything. I didn’t have any signs that I’d done anything. Just… just that I didn’t remember.

“I did ghost her after that. Ignored her calls and everything. If she roofied me or something, I wasn’t going to deal with that nonsense, you know? And it wasn’t like I could go to the cops. Who would I call? The Andersons? No.”

“So you just kept that to yourself,” I said.

“Kinda, yeah. I told Luke. He told me to call the police anyway. Go right to state troopers or something. I just wanted to move on. Whatever happened happened, you know? I didn’t see her again for a couple days. Then she just showed up at the ranch. We had it out on the front lawn, and she made this big deal out of me not remembering being with her. Then she took off.”

“When was that?”

“About a year before we reconnected,” he said. “I didn’t see her again until she showed up at that show. She’d emailed me, but I deleted them without reading them. Same with her voicemails. I had no idea she was going to show up, but as soon as she did, I knew she must have known about you. She made a beeline for you.”

“Did you do a paternity test?”

“She won’t agree to one,” he said. “I tried. I’m more than willing to take one. But she listed me as the father on the birth certificate, and even though I didn’t sign it, apparently that’s as good as gold in Texas. I’ve been fighting it for eight years, and I can’t compel her to do a paternity test.”

“Are you positive the child isn’t yours?”

“As positive as I can be. And if it is, then I will deal with that. But I am ninety-nine percent sure it isn’t mine.”

I sighed, hanging my head for a moment and then rubbing my eyes to get rid of the tears that were still spilling occasionally.

“That’s why I left all those years ago,” I said. “I thought you were hiding a relationship from me. A kid, no less.”

“I found out about that the same time you did,” he said. “I heard rumors she got pregnant, but I thought she had been seeing someone else. I forget who. But she got knocked up, and I thought, hey, great, she will leave me alone. Then she kept emailing me and calling, and I figured she just wasn’t happy and wanted me back. I had no idea she was claiming that baby was mine until she confronted you.”

I nodded. I believed him. I didn’t know if I was being an idiot or not, but I believed him. At this point, why would he lie? And the smug look on Lacey Banks’ face when she showed me those pictures… I could believe that was a woman who would do anything, absolutely anything, to get what she wanted. And what she wanted at that moment was for me to be gone and for Jesse to be under her thumb.

Jeese’s eyes were soft and tender as he looked at me, and I felt the weight of my own secret pulling. I needed to tell him what had happened more recently. He deserved to know, and he deserved even more to know what my situation was right now.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This part was going to suck. A lot.