9. Bruised

brUISED

I come insideof her with a groan, my forehead hitting the wall. Her thighs spasming from her release and no doubt from being bent like a pretzel on the other side of the wall.

It was difficult, but I still heard her moans of pleasure through the wall. I don't know why I haven't pulled out, why I'm not long gone from this room right now. But I just keep my softening dick in her and remove the vibrator.

Her pussy is a perfect shade of dark pink. As soon as I walked in the room, she was already wet, but now that I'm done with her, she's a fucking mess. I rub and hold her ass cheek, almost wishing I could see what it looked like in a doggy style position.

It's erotic being able to keep my softening dick inside of her, but I groan, knowing our time is over.

I pull out, admiring the wet sheen of her release on the leather bench and the globe of her ass. I dispose of the condom and consider reaching out to her to renegotiate that part of our limits. The idea of spilling inside of her and making her sit here while it slips out is enthralling.

I put the vibrator back where I found it and just stare at her for a long moment. Part of me just knows someone with a pussy that perfect has to be beautiful. Not that I should care or that makes sense. I shouldn't give a fuck beyond getting off and getting her off.

But there's this nagging in the back of my brain. There's something about her that I just can't shake and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Somehow, despite how we're strangers who know nothing about each other and have never had a conversation, I feel connected to her in some odd way.

I don't want to leave this room; I realize.

Fuck.

Of course, out of all the women to interest me, it's the one who's faceless and enjoys the same anonymous kink I do. I put my suit jacket on and rub my face, the scent of her pussy lingers on my fingers as I look at her one last time.

I don't know why I do it, but I lean down and press a soft kiss against her clit before turning around and leaving the room.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I head to my car and sit in the driver's seat for far longer than I need to. Contemplating everything. How did I get here? What do I want? And what the hell am I supposed to do now?

Thinking about it is all too fucking hard, I text my twin brothers.

Me: Are you two partying tonight?

Gavin

We're on the tiki boat.

Ben

We're going to dock soon if you want to hop on. There's a bachelorette party and a divorce party getting on board.

I'll be there in twenty.

With how much I work, I have a change of clothes in my car as I head off to the docks. It's probably not the most mature thing I should be doing, but alcohol has a way of making things clear.

I park at the marina where my brothers run their tiki boat business. I don't understand why they won't take my suggestion into consideration to expand by building from the ground up.

With it being dark, I don't give a shit as I take off everything but my underwear and put the short sleeve button up and shorts on, as well as a pair of flip-flops.

A horn blares and women scream as my brother holds the railing of the ship and screams.

"Welcome aboard, motherfucker!"

Ben is clearly partying while Gavin drives the boat.

He steers it just close enough so I can hop on and they continue cruising down the channel.

"Ladies, welcome the ugliest Carlson brother, Lincoln," Ben says into the microphone and there's a bunch of hoots and hollers.

"You're such a prick."

Ben smiles and grabs me a beer.

"What has your broody ass out this fine Friday evening?" he asks.

"Just wanted a drink, and to hang out with you two assholes."

"Hmm, likely story," Ben says. He looks back at the ladies on the boat. "Alright lovely ladies, who wants to do a shot ski?"

He starts setting up the shot ski, which I doubt they've washed since buying this boat, and I go hang out where Gavin is, captaining the ship.

"I thought you two barely captained these things anymore," I say, leaning against the back and sipping my beer.

"Kip got sick and Lucy is hungover, so we decided to take it out for a spin tonight."

"You two are lucky," I say, sitting down, chugging the rest of the beer and throwing the aluminum in the bin.

My brother glares at me and takes a seat while he coasts the boat.

"So are you."

"I just mean that you truly love what you do. You both seem so happy."

"You could be too," he says simply.

"I think I'm having a mid-life crisis."

He laughs, placing his wrist on the top of the wheel, and looks over at me.

"My millionaire brother, with his full head of hair, nice vehicle and apartment he keeps perfectly pristine in a crisis? You don't say?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I furrow my brows, grabbing another beer from the center bar.

"You self-isolate, hate everything, and haven't been the same since Vanessa. I mean, you were always a dick, but after things ended with her, you changed."

I haven't told anyone in my family what happened; I was too ashamed. I dated Vanessa for two years. For two fucking years I had no idea what she was doing, and when I found out, it destroyed me. She didn't just take those two years from me, she's taken the four after it as well.

I don't say anything and Gavin sighs, leaning back, his head tossed back and his dark hair in loose curls.

"Call up some of your college friends. Hell, reach out to us more. We always want to spend time with you. Penny lives in your building, spend more time with her. People aren't meant to be solitary creatures, Linc."

"Maybe I should start dating again."

"Well, there are some divorcées and girls who are watching their friend get married first on this boat. It's like shooting fish in a barrel."

But I don't want any of them.

I want my mystery girl.

It's all so completely fucked.

"There's someone I have in mind."

He looks shocked, but doesn't ask me any more details. He squints at me and I glare back.

"What the fuck happened to your forehead?"

"What?"

"Your forehead."

I rub my head, and sure enough, there's a bruise forming where I banged my head against the wall when I came.

Wonderful.

The bachelorette and divorce party starts amping up. Ben plays music as the women sing and dance and he joins us on the back of the boat.

"Now we just gotta make sure no one falls off the boat and we're golden," Ben says. "What happened to your forehead?"

"Will you two fuck off?"

"Touchy touchy."

"Have either of you heard from Aiden?"

Gavin sighs, keeping his eyes on the women to make sure we don't lose one of them before they get married or get to live in post-marital bliss.

"Things don't look good."

"I'll call him tomorrow," I say and they nod.

It's how it's always been. I'm closer to Aiden and the twins have each other. If anything, the twins are codependent. Sometimes I worry about them, but they're also happy—happier than me, at least. Who am I to judge?

The women start drunkenly singing a song and I regret my decision automatically. Ben puts another beer in my hand as I rest my head against the railing and let the humid summer air hit my face.

I should stop paying for Avalon and find something else. I can't be pining after a woman who also chooses to be anonymous.

I guess it's time to finally grow up.

It's been a few days,and I stay off the Avalon site; I don't look to see if Honey has requested me and I don't request her.

Fuck, she's probably wondering if I didn't enjoy myself, but I can feel this sick obsession starting to creep on me.

The best thing I can do is to walk away completely.

I'll stop using Key Club and consider closing my account with Avalon as well. I haven't wanted something with someone in so long, of course it's the unobtainable that I want, so fucking typical.

It's weird, usually I enjoy working, and when I'm in my office I can easily put my head down and get the job done, but lately I can't focus. I groan, exiting out of the current report and my phone rings and I consider ignoring it until I see Aiden's name.

"Hello."

There's a heavy sigh on the phone and I already know before he speaks.

"Where are you?"

"Tampa General."

"I'll be there in thirty minutes."

He doesn't speak, just hangs up. I close out of my computer, lock my desk and head to reception.

"I'll be gone for the rest of the day. Can you handle my calls and put anything urgent on my desk?" I ask Marie, who nods curiously at me. "Collin Kemper," I say and understanding and sadness takes over her features.

I make the drive to Tampa General, expecting to go inside to find Aiden saying his goodbyes, but he's waiting at the parking garage entrance. I hit the unlock button and he gets into the passenger's side.

"Batting cages?" I ask, and he nods.

I drive to our usual spot. My brother is quiet and contemplative. I've never lost someone in this way before and I can't imagine what he's feeling. Collin Kemper was his mentor and closest friend.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Funeral is in three days."

I nod and do what I do best, giving him space. Traffic is a nightmare, but we finally get to the range and I rent a lane for an hour. I already know his preferred bat and grab him a helmet as I hand them to him. He steps in the cage and hits balls.

I wish I was more like Aiden. He called for help when he needed it, and this is the place he can get his emotions out.

Mine are bottled up and festering to the point of explosion. It's only a matter of time before I explode with no outlet. Suffering alone has always seemed simpler than depending on the shoulders of others.

Aiden hits the balls, the chime of the bat hitting the ball a small comfort. He doesn't talk, he doesn't smile, he just swings and hits the shit out of each ball.

Eventually he tires out, a sheen of sweat covering his skin as he hits the button to turn off the machine and steps out of the cage.

"Better?" I ask.

"Yeah, can I stay at yours tonight?" he asks.

Aiden doesn't ask much of me, ever. He doesn't hold me accountable for my shitty words, judge me for my moods. Whatever he needs at this moment, it's his.

"Yeah, man. Chinese sound good?"

He nods his head, and we stop at his house to collect some of his things. His large house where only he lives. While Aiden might smile, be kinder than me, I wonder if he feels just as lonely as I do.

Maybe we can help navigate this time of our lives together. I'll just have to work on communicating, which sounds revolting, but I need a change.