Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Flirting

"So that was what I was thinking, honestly. If I go through it a few times and I still can't figure it out, do you want to have an in-person meeting?" I asked my client, who was on the other end of my connection. I happened to glance at the clock on the kitchen wall and realized I had to pick up Lucy at school. Usually she took the school bus, but she had a project that she wanted to bring home and didn't want to risk it getting damaged.

"I'm so sorry, but I have to go, Louise. I'll send you an email with my thoughts on this tomorrow morning," I said.

"No worries, Fletcher. That's perfect."

I hit End and shoved my phone in my pocket, grabbing a ginger cookie from the plate on my way past the kitchen. I ate it in two bites, trying to remember if I'd had lunch. The dogs watched me with tails wagging as I waved to them and headed out, setting the touch-panel lock.

I didn't like going to the school at pick-up time. There was so much traffic, with students of all ages walking and running around. People brought their dogs. It was a shit show. So by the time I parked the car, I was frazzled but relieved to get out and find Lucy. I couldn't see her anywhere, so I thought maybe she was still inside.

There was a tug on my sleeve. I turned around, expecting a child and seeing tan pants and adult-sized classic Vans. My gaze drifted up and landed on Aiden's attractive face.

"Hey, there, Lucy's Dad," he said, his beautiful smile lighting up his features.

"Oh," I said, "Hi, Aiden."

His smile widened. "You remember my name."

I found myself returning his smile. "Did you forget mine?"

"Actually, no. I didn't. It's Fletcher."

"That's right. So why did you call me—?"

He laughed, glancing down. "I thought it was cute to call you Lucy's Dad. Was it?"

"Adorable."

"Yes!" he said, making a triumphant gesture. "Look… I forgot to give Lucy her test back," Aiden said, holding it up. "A-minus. She's killing it."

My heart filled with pride.

"Thanks. She's bright."

Aiden nodded and handed me the test. "Does she get that from you?"

"Huh, maybe. More from…someone else."

"Yeah? Her…mother?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, hopeful for some clarification of my status.

"No. My late husband," I replied, feeling my heart break for about the thousandth time since I'd lost Daniel but glad to clear things up for him. I wanted him to know I was single.

But Aiden frowned and his cheeks reddened. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. Do you know where Lucy is?"

"Yes, she's by the flagpole with Cassandra. I swear, those two girls are joined at the hip."

"Cassandra's been an amazing friend to Lucy."

"Yeah, I know," Aiden said, gazing at the girls then looking at me. "I was going to ask you…" he said, then looked away nervously. "Never mind."

We stood there in silence for a moment.

"I lost my husband three years ago," I said.

"That must have been rough…for you and for Lucy."

"Yes, it was. It still is. But…life goes on." I shrugged, as if that sentence could contain all the grief and pain we'd gone through since Daniel's passing. One thing you learned pretty quick with a loss like that—words were pretty fucking inadequate most of the time.

Aiden nodded. "I suppose that's true."

"What were you going to ask me?" I asked, glancing to see Lucy and Cassandra still laughing together. They looked so young and carefree, and part of me wished I was Lucy's age instead of forty-one. I turned back to Aiden.

I was struck again by his beauty—then by his next question.

"I'm…I'm Lucy's supply teacher for another two weeks, then I'm going to a different school. And I was…I was wondering if you might want to go out for dinner at that point?" He looked awkward and embarrassed, and he glanced at his shoes, then back up at me. The hopeful expression on his face was adorable. "I probably shouldn't even be ask—"

"Yes."

He looked so shocked it made me smile. "Really?"

"Yes."

And the sun came out from behind the clouds as Aiden smiled the widest smile I'd seen in a long, long time.

"Okay. Great!"

I dug in my back pocket for a business card and passed it to him. "I feel like we're doing a drug deal or something."

He took the card and quickly pocketed it. "Thanks. I'll be in touch," he said.

I nodded, holding his gaze for a moment, then went to get Lucy, my heart doing flips and my hands getting clammy.

Was I ready to date someone? I had two weeks to get used to the idea, and I could always back out.

But I wasn't sure I wanted to.

* * * *

Two weeks was a long time to wait when you wanted to find out more about someone. I tried to get information out of Lucy when we took the dogs for their after-dinner walk. We didn't always go together but, when the weather was good, like it was on this evening, it was a nice way to connect.

"So, your supply teacher, Aiden. He's a nice guy?"

"Yeah. He's strict, though. But that's good, because some of the kids in my class are assholes," Lucy said, waiting while Eddy squatted on the grass.

"Wow," I said, giving her a disappointed look and passing over a poop bag.

"It's true! Some of my other teachers have trouble keeping them under control. But not Mr. Thompson." Lucy gave the bag I was holding out to her a derogatory look. "Dad, can't you do it? It's so gross."

"Lucy, come on. At least Eddy's shits aren't as big as Cocoa's."

She smiled. "Okay, fine." She waited until Eddy was done, scooped the poop into the bag and tied it off, then handed it back to me. I guess I got to carry it.

"Huh. That's…kind of unusual for a supply teacher. Usually they're seen as easy targets, from what I remember."

"Yeah. But Aiden's been filling in for Ms. Kelly since April, so he's more of a replacement." She shrugged. "Also, he's got this—I don't know what to call it. But when he's pissed at you, you know it, and you want to be good. It's weird, but it works."

That right there was Dom energy. I knew it well.

"Huh. Is Ms. Kelly all right?"

"Yeah, she just had to get some minor surgery or something. I don't know. But she's coming back next week, I think."

"Oh," I said, as if I'd had no idea. "That's good."

Lucy frowned. "No, it's not. I'd rather have Aiden."

I waved to Mrs. Anderson, who was walking her poodle across the street. She kept her dog away from other dog walkers because it tended to bark.

She smiled and waved back.

"But you like Ms. Kelly," I said to Lucy, as Cocoa squatted to piss.

"Yeah. But Aiden's cool. He plays guitar, you know…in a band."

"Really?"

"Yeah. They aren't famous or anything. But he plays gigs here and sometimes in Montreal, he said."

"Oh wow. That is very cool."

We turned the corner and headed back home. The sun would be setting soon. In a few weeks, when the time changed, we'd be taking them out in the dark.

"Also, Ms. Kelly doesn't let us call her by her first name. What's up with that?"

I laughed. "Well, not all teachers are comfortable with it. I guess it's her choice, right?"

"Sure, sure."

We got home and Lucy went downstairs to play video games. I was pretty lax when it came to homework, letting her sort things out. She was twelve and seemed able to pinpoint what she needed to work on versus what was simply busy work that the teacher handed out to appease that subset of parents who assumed they weren't teaching properly if they didn't assign work to do at home. Her marks were consistently great, so I didn't come down on her about how she spent her free time. And, after Daniel had passed, video gaming was both an escape and a way to connect with his memory, since he was the one who had gotten her into it, much to my chagrin.

"Daniel, I think Lucy's too young for video games."

"What? It's LEGO Star Wars," Daniel said, showing me the front of the game. "I picked up LEGO Indiana Jones, too."

"Huh. You don't think they'll be too violent?"

He showed me the package, pointing at a large E in a box in the corner. "Rated E for Everyone. 10+."

"But she's seven."

He gave me a look.

I gave him a look.

"Okay, technically. But we both know she's a lot more advanced than other kids."

"Sure. But…"

"Relax. They'll help her with hand-eye coordination, and I bet she's going to love playing them."

I raised my eyebrows. "Just her? Something tells me you've been waiting for an excuse to try these out."

Daniel grinned. "Okay, fine. You know me too well. Trust me. It'll be great."

He'd been right. Lucy had been hooked from the start. Now she had moved on to more mature games, and we occasionally had battles over what was and wasn't appropriate for her. She'd been after me to buy The Last of Us, because some of her friends played it, but it was rated Mature 17+ and I was hesitant. I'd told her she'd have to wait until she was fourteen, which was still three years younger than the rating suggested.

She'd rolled her eyes and told me that she'd literally watched gamers play it on YouTube, so she knew all about it. I'd held fast, though.

So far.

* * * *

For two weeks I vacillated between anxiety and excitement. I worried that Aiden wouldn't call me. I worried that he would. I worried that he'd want to go somewhere that reminded me of my time with Daniel, and I'd have to explain why I didn't want to go there. I worried that we'd go to dinner, he'd turn out to be nothing like I hoped he was and I'd have to awkwardly find an excuse to leave. Or that he'd be more wonderful than I hoped, then…then we'd go for a second date, and a third, and at some point I'd want to have sex with this gorgeous creature and… Oh, who was I kidding? I already wanted to have sex with Aiden.

Those months after Daniel's death, when I'd get drunk and pick up a friendly young guy at a local club to enjoy on a purely physical level, had been exhausting and mind-numbingly shallow. And the guilt that hit me afterward was never worth it.

Now I'd give myself frantic hand jobs when I was horny, thinking about random porn videos, while I tried to be quiet. Even though Lucy's room was at the other end of the house, I was paranoid she'd hear me.

I hadn't had full-on sex with anyone but Daniel for the past fifteen years—and he'd been gone for three of those.

But I craved it. I couldn't lie to myself anymore and say I didn't.

And apparently, I craved the submission, too—the suffering for someone special that for some reason quieted my brain and body and fulfilled me.

I was pretty sure Aiden was a Dom, from the impression I'd got at the club so long ago, and also from what Lucy had said about his teaching style. But I had no idea if he still liked to engage with men that way. It could have been a passing fancy. And there was no guarantee he'd want to Dom me.

* * * *

Lucy was despondent when she came home from school the first week of Ms. Kelly's return.

"Why can't we have Aiden as our regular teacher!" she moaned on Wednesday, tossing her backpack on the chair and putting her arms around Eddy, who had come to welcome her home. Cocoa wagged her tail from her spot on the sofa.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. He does seem like a cool guy," I said, ruffling Cocoa's neck fur. She made a soft groan and laid her head back down.

I felt guilty to be keeping something from Lucy, but all I'd done was give the guy my business card. He might never even call me. He was probably way too cool for me, anyway.

Just before I went to bed that night, a text came in from an unknown number.

Hi, Lucy's Dad. It's Aiden. Is this a bad time?

I immediately smiled then felt sick to my stomach. I pondered what to say.

Did you forget my name again?

Lol. I was trying to be cute. Can't help it. Blushing face.

You don't have to try. Call me Fletcher. Please. I'd like to forget I'm Lucy's Dad when I'm talking to you.

Laughing face emoji. I'd like to forget you're Lucy's Dad, too. Even though she's spectacular.

Well, we agree on that. Look at you, using punctuation and capitals in your texts, just like I do! It's refreshing to text with a grown up!

I am a teacher. May I just say, you have…very nice sentence structure, Fletcher Marin.

I gave a soft laugh, my thumbs tapping.

You as well. Very…smooth and…good rhythm.

Lol, thanks. Are we…flirting?

God, I hope so. It's been a long time.

Can we get together? Soon?

Oh wow, okay. He was asking me out. And what's more, I was thrilled…and terrified. But it was good to feel strong emotions about something other than memories of my previous life with Daniel.

I'd like that.

Tomorrow? I'm free for dinner.

I think I can get that to work.

* * * *

Thank God Patrick was free. When he arrived, he gave me a look that demanded an explanation.

I shrugged. "What? I have a date."

He and Lucy exchanged a glance.

"That's awesome," Patrick said.

"A date!" Lucy exclaimed.

"Yeah. Just some guy I met…online." I really didn't want to tell Lucy who it was, because it might not go further than this and I didn't want her to be invested—or pissed off, or whatever her reaction would be.

"Online?" she said, gasping. "Are you sure that's safe?"

I stared at her. "Well, I'm over forty. I think I'll be okay. I'm meeting him at a restaurant." God, I hated lying. But I couldn't tell her it was Aiden. Not yet.

Her eyes went wide. "Wait! Are you going to have casual sex, Dad? Did you meet him on Grindr?"

Patrick started laughing while I turned beet red.

"I did not meet him on Grindr. How do you know about Grindr? Jesus Christ."

"Everyone knows about Grindr," Patrick said.

"Make sure you use protection," Lucy said, in a very sober voice.

"Lucy, cut it out. I know how to—and we're not having— Patrick, help."

Patrick raised his hand and shook his head. "She's your kid."

"Is he cute? Can I see a photo?"

"Lucy!"

Patrick doubled over, as I glared at him. "I could use some help here."

"I mean, she's right. You might want to."

I didn't know what to say.

"No, I'm not going to have casual sex, not on the first date." Wow, nice hypocritical stance, there, Fletcher.

"Okay," Lucy said, grinning with a wickedness that came right down the gene lines from Daniel.

"Don't you have homework to do?"

"Fine. If I hear you come home with someone, I'll put my noise-canceling headphones on."

"I'm not bringing him here!" I was definitely not bringing him here…for many reasons.

Patrick offered to stay overnight, if necessary.

"I don't need you to—" I said, tidying up the papers on the dining room table, my cheeks aflame. "For God's sake, it's the first time I've dated the guy. I don't work that fast."