Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Hunger

Aiden had suggested we meet at Johnny Farina at seven o'clock.

I hadn't gone for dinner with a man since Daniel had passed, which was going on three years. And I hadn't gone on a first date with someone since long before that. No wonder I felt out of my depth. My curiosity about Aiden, my attraction to this man that I had seen in a moment of misguided recklessness, who might be kinky, helped me to gird my loins and push forward.

But I was in no way prepared for the sight of most likely kinky Aiden Thompson in black skinny jeans, Doc Martens and a black button-up that did wonderful things to his athletic physique. And that smile! He stood outside the heritage building that had housed a movie theater before being transformed into one of Ottawa's most renowned Italian eateries.

Some of the anxious knots in my stomach turn into lust as I moved forward to greet him. Except, what was the etiquette? Did we shake hands? Did we kiss on the cheek?

"Hi, Aiden," I said, hoping he would help me out.

"Fletcher, it's great to see you outside of school." Aiden grinned, then frowned. "Wait! That sounds wrong."

We laughed.

"Well, way to make me feel young again," I said, offering my hand.

Aiden took it, but instead of giving it a cursory shake, he held it for a few extra beats and let go, keeping his eyes on mine. I found myself adrift in them.

"How are you?" he asked, with genuine concern.

"I haven't gone on a date in a long time—like, a really long time."

"Well, thank you for agreeing to this. I'm honored."

He opened the door and beckoned me in after him.

"I'm starved! I hope you're hungry."

Famished,I thought, staring at his ass as he moved forward.

I shook my head, trying to keep it clear, when I was one huge horny mess, a second away from making a fool of myself.

"I wasn't expecting Lucy's supply teacher to be so…" I hesitated. "Never mind."

Aiden gave our name to the hostess and turned back to me.

"Incredibly sexy? Astoundingly attractive?"

I smiled, amused. "Wow."

"I know. My ego's as big as my—"

I almost choked as the hostess interrupted him with a wide smile.

"This way, gentlemen."

I met Aiden's gaze with a stern one, but that just made him laugh. He was delightful. I was already having a good time.

The hostess guided us to a table for two in a corner spot that was somewhat private.

"Thank you," Aiden said, gesturing for me to sit down.

I took the chair he referred to and picked up the menu. "I haven't been here in a while."

Daniel and I had come once, at some point near the beginning of our relationship, but he hadn't been a fan of fancy eateries. He preferred the pub-type environment, of which there were plenty in Ottawa.

"It's one of my favorite places. The pasta dishes are out of this world."

I didn't want to think about Daniel and what he had liked or not liked.

"Where are you supplying this week?"

Aiden glanced at the menu, his gaze scanning the offerings. "Fuck, all the way out in the west end. D. Roy Kennedy School. It's so far."

"That's a pain," I said. I tried to think about what I wanted to eat, but all I could see in my mind was Aiden's ass in those killer jeans.

"The kids are great, though," he said.

"Really? Being in a room with that many kids for even a couple of hours would probably drive me to drink," I admitted. "Lucy says you're…strict."

I hoped that didn't sound to him the way it sounded to me. I'd heard the sound of a riding crop slicing the air as I'd said it. I swallowed and hoped I wasn't blushing too much.

"Did she say that?" he asked, looking more amused than surprised. "As a supply teacher, you have to be if you want to survive and keep your sanity."

A very handsome male server approached our table.

"How are we doing tonight? My name is David, and I'll be your server this evening."

"Fantastic," Aiden said, greeting David with a smile.

"Have you had a look at our spirits and wine menu?"

Aiden and I glanced at each other.

"Not yet. What would you recommend in the way of wine?" I asked.

I could do this. And a glass of wine was exactly what I needed.

David listed off a number of Australian and Chilean wines, and Aiden deferred to me to choose. I picked a Chilean red that was pricey enough to guarantee its taste but not kill my bank account. When David brought it to our table, he had me sample it.

"Oh, that's wonderful."

He filled our glasses then took our food order. Aiden requested the mussels, and I chose the gnocchi in a rosé sauce.

As I took another sip of wine, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. When I focused on it, it became an orange and black spider that was making its way along the wall toward me.

"Fuck!" The metal feet of my chair scraped the concrete floor with a loud screech as I stood. Expensive red wine sloshed over the edge of my glass, but I put it down before there was a major disaster.

The look on Aiden's face was almost comical. If I'd been in the right mood, I would have laughed, but there was nothing funny about being this close to an arachnid on the loose.

I pointed at the offending insect.

"Sp— Spider."

Aiden was astonishingly calm. He glanced at the spider then looked at me, and his smile lit up his face.

"Oh, Fletcher. You're scared of spiders?"

"No," I said, shaking my head and trying to stand straighter. I glanced up to see more than a few people staring in our direction. "I'm not scared of them. They just gross me out."

Aiden pushed his chair back, slowly and carefully, so it wouldn't make noise, and came around to my side of the table. As he passed me, he gave my shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

"What are you doing?" I said, unable to look away from the small creature, which was still making its merry way toward my chair.

"I'm going to take care of it," he said.

"Thank you." I cleared my throat, and tried to look at ease, even though I wasn't. "Lucy usually…usually kills them for me."

"Oh, I'm not going to kill it."

"What?" I said, the breath leaving my chest as I took a step back. "Why not?"

"Because, Fletcher, as much as I want to please you on our first date, I'm not going to commit murder."

He wanted to please me?

"I have to set some boundaries," he asserted.

I watched in horror as Aiden herded the spider into the palm of his hand. Then he closed his fingers around it and took a step to get by me.

"Oh, holy fuck. No, no. Stay away from me," I said as I backed into the corner, invading the personal space of the man at the neighboring table.

"Easy, man. Relax," the stranger said, moving his chair back.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I said, watching Aiden with wide eyes as he carried the trapped—hopefully!—spider past me and took it around and presumably out of the front doors.

I was torn between relief that he'd taken care of the problem, and irritation that he hadn't dispatched it quietly and not humiliated me in front of everyone. But that wasn't fair, because I'd embarrassed myself before he'd said anything.

This date was off to a fantastic start.

While Aiden was gone, I surveyed the table and the wall and the window ledge for other spiders or bugs of any kind. I didn't see any. By the time Aiden returned, I had gingerly lowered myself back into my seat.

"I'm so sorry," I said, as Aiden sat down across from me.

"Don't apologize. I was worried you were perfect. I'm glad you have some quirks."

I blinked, heat rising in my cheeks. That was such a nice thing for him to say.

I picked up my wine and took a drink. "Thanks. But I'm still worried about you," I said, with a smile.

He laughed. "Oh, I have plenty of quirks. Don't worry."

I wondered if he was talking about his kinky side. It was the right moment to bring up the club.

"You know we've been in the same room before we met at Lucy's school, right?"

He stared at me, and there was so much in that look. But he didn't say anything right away. He picked up his glass, holding my gaze, and took a very long sip as my cock got hard and my pulse quickened.

"So, that was you."

I nodded. I didn't know what else to say. I hadn't thought this through. I'd been focused entirely on how he'd looked to me. I hadn't even considered how I might have looked.

"Did the glitterboy take good care of you, then?" he said, in extraordinarily quiet tones.

Now I regretted bringing it up.

"I…" I gazed at the table. "I was still in a bit of a state at the time. That was…about three months after Daniel died."

"Oh, God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. I genuinely hoped that he made you very happy for a moment. That's all."

I nodded. "Thanks. He was great. He was very kind to me."

"That's good," Aiden said, his expression filled with concern.

"So…why were you there?" I asked the question that I'd had on my mind since we'd run into each other at Lucy's school.

He was the one blushing now and smiling a conspiratorial smile.

"Well, I…I was out with my partner at the time."

"Oh." I nodded. "You seemed…very much in control of the situation."

I hoped it was enough of a hint that I was searching for his position in that dynamic. I desperately needed to know if my instincts had been correct.

Aiden sat back and contemplated me. He smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. "I wasn't prepared to have this conversation."

"I'm sorry," I said. "It's none of my business."

"Well, it might be…your business. Depends how things turn out."

We gazed at each other, a force of energy charging the air between us.

I nodded. It was suddenly hard to breathe.

"That club," he said, "was a place where a certain subset of gay men felt welcome."

"Yes. I know."

"Huh. Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Was the twink actually what you were looking for that night, or did he just…fall into your lap? So to speak," Aiden said. He looked at the table then back up. "Were you really looking for something else?"

"I was looking for…for someone to…" I took a deep breath. God this was so hard. I hoped the people at the nearby table couldn't hear us. "Take me…in hand. You know…" I didn't want to spell it out.

Aiden smiled with such happiness, butterflies started battering the walls of my belly. A feeling I hadn't had in a very fucking long time.

"Oh, I do know, as a matter of fact."

We sat there, staring at each other in a daze of recognition and realization. It took the server coming with our plates to break the trance.

"I have the gnocchi?" he said, hovering by the table.

"Here," I said, with some relief.

He placed it in front of me, the scent of tomato cream sauce with a hint of basil, flooding my nostrils.

"And the mussels must be for you, sir," the server said, placing the bowl of swimming bivalves in front of Aiden.

"Thank you," he said.

We ate in silence but stole glances at each other. Watching Aiden delicately pry apart each shell and bring the tiny piece of meat to his pretty mouth was a treat, and I had to consciously refrain from staring. My cock had been hard since we'd talked about the club. This wasn't helping anything.

I tried to enjoy my gnocchi, which tasted fantastic. But I was so very distracted and antsy.

"Does Lucy really take care of any spiders around the house?" Aiden asked finally.

I swallowed the piece of pasta in my mouth and smiled. "Yes. She absolutely does."

Remembering the spider incident brought something else to mind. "Wait! Did you wash your hands?"

"Pardon?"

"After you took the spider outside. Sorry… I— It just occurred to me you might have spider germs still."

He laughed and his eyes sparked with amusement. "As a matter of fact, I did…with soap, even. They have very nice bathrooms in this place."

I smiled with relief. "Oh, thank God."

"You like to be clean." It was a statement of fact.

"I suppose I do. Yes. Isn't that…a good thing?"

"It can be. But it's also good to be able to tolerate a little filth."

The way he enunciated those last two words made my cock jerk in my pants.

Filth.I wanted him to make me tolerate some.

We looked at each other.

"Fuck," I said under my breath. I had to change the subject, or I was going to embarrass myself. "Daniel used to get the spiders, then Lucy took over. I think she feels closer to the memory of him that way—or she just can't stand my screaming."

Aiden's eyes went wide.

"It's a joke. I don't scream."

"Hmm. Never?"

I stared at him. He stared at me.

"Not from spiders," I said.

He grinned wider. "Huh."

I blushed and poured myself more wine.

Aiden fondled the stem of his wine glass and licked his lips. "Did you always want kids?"

Okay. We were diving right into this.

I swallowed. "It was Daniel who really wanted them. But as soon as he placed Lucy in my arms, it was a done deal. Emotionally, I mean."

Aiden nodded, his expression midway between sadness and understanding.

"She's pretty amazing," he said.

"Yeah. She's…she's Daniel's biological daughter."

"Is she? That's wonderful."

It was wonderful. I thought that every single day, even when it made me cry.

"Yeah."

Daniel was gone. I'd come to accept that very real fact. But part of him was still here, and that was in Lucy. I saw him in her all the time, and it was a goddamn miracle and a blessing.

"You're a good dad, Fletcher," Aiden said, with so much confidence in his assertion I huffed a laugh.

"How do you know?"

Aiden held my gaze. "Because of how Lucy is—how she thinks, how she talks, how she talks about you."

"She talks about me?"

"Yes. A lot. The fact that she talks about you at all shows me you're an important presence in her life. A lot of these kids…You know, they come from families that have split up for reasons other than someone having passed away. And it's hard being a single parent and staying engaged in their lives."

"So, what does she say about me?"

Aiden laughed. "She says you spoil the dogs."

"What? I spoil the dogs? Lucy's the one that's always giving them treats!"

"Oh, I've hit a nerve," Aiden murmured.

And the way he said it made it sound like he wanted to have his way with all my nerves.

I frowned. "Lucy spoils the dogs. But I let her because I'm just happy to see her functioning again. There was a dark, dark time, after Daniel died, where…" I swallowed. "… neither of us knew if we were going to be okay."

"Oh, Fletcher. I'm so sorry."

I gave him a shaky smile, trying not to remember how bereft those times had been.

"Yeah. We've come a long way…her more than me. I can't imagine what it's like as a child to lose a parent."

"I'm sure you had as much, or more, of a loss, Fletcher."

"Well. We're both much better now."

We finished our meals and even ordered some dessert. Aiden offered me a bite of his tartufo, smiling as if daring me to take it.

His gaze landed on my mouth as I leaned forward and sucked the ice cream off his spoon.

Delicious—as was the sight of him giving a barely audible little gasp as I did. I wasn't ready for our date to be over.

"Shit. Do you want to go for a walk and get a coffee somewhere? I need to sober up before I get behind the wheel," I said.

"Good idea," Aiden replied.

"On one bill?" the server asked when he cleared our dessert plates.

I was about to say no, when Aiden beat me to it.

"Yes. I'll take it."

"Oh, you don't have to pay for mine," I said, reaching for my back pocket.

"Fletcher," Aiden said, in a tone that brooked no argument. "I'll get it. You can pay next time."

Next time?My heart beat faster, and my dick twitched at the command in his tone.

"Thank you, Aiden."

"You're welcome."

We walked along Elgin, the streetlights and store lights making a pretty backdrop against the darkness. A winter chill hung in the air, even though it was still October. I buttoned up my jacket and hunched my shoulders against the wind.

"Cold?" Aiden asked.

I nodded.

He unwound the checkered scarf from around his neck.

"Come here."

I went there, my heart beating under my too-thin jacket, and waited while Aiden wound his scarf around my neck and tucked it into itself.

"There you go. I was a little warm anyway."

"Thank you…again."

"I love hearing those words from you, Fletcher. I'd like to get you to say them often."

I stared at him. I wanted to kiss him, so badly. But we were on the sidewalk, in plain view of a lot of people, and I was too aware of the possibility of inciting anger or disdain that I held back.

"Want to stop in and get a coffee?" Aiden asked, pointing at a Bridgehead across the street.

"Yes!" At least we'd get out of the cold.

He let me keep his scarf while we chatted. When my neck got too hot, I unwound it and held it out to him.

"Keep it. It looks good on you."

"Aiden, I can't take your scarf."

"Sure you can. I've got lots."

"Fine," I said, grinning.

Aiden was thirty, bisexual and besides teaching English and music, he played guitar in a band, like Lucy had told me.

"That's very cool."

He laughed. "Well, we haven't got a record deal or anything. It's just me and some other teachers."

"Still cool. Do you only play guitar?"

"I sing, too."

"Backup?"

"Lead."

"Really," I said, completely charmed.

"Here," he said, tapping on his phone and turning it to face me.

A video was playing. There was Aiden, standing at a microphone, playing his guitar and singing Sweet Caroline. I hadn't realized he could look hotter than he did already, but this clinched it.

"The Tardy Boys? Seriously?"

He shrugged. "We're all teachers."

"Wow. Do you have groupies? You're super-hot," I said.

He laughed, putting the phone down. "No groupies."

"Can I be one?"

He tilted his head, gazing at me like he was asking me to get naked right this minute. "Definitely."

"I wish I had talent like that."

"You said you're a writer?"

I nodded. "Technically. I only write copy. I write what I'm told to write."

He sat back. "Do you like doing what you're told?"

The look in his eyes said he wasn't talking about my writing.

"Most of the time. Yeah. It's…easier."

"I get that."

I'll bet you do.

"But did you ever write for yourself?"

Did I ever write for myself? I had. A long time ago, before Daniel, before Lucy.

"In high school I won a short story contest." I'd almost forgotten. It had felt like such an accomplishment, but my parents had shrugged it off. And I had done the same.

"That's amazing."

"Yeah, but I could never write a novel or anything like that."

"No? Have you tried? Do you even want to?"

"I mean, maybe someday? Aiden, I only just managed to get back to functioning as a human being. This is the first date I've had since…since I've been with…"

"Daniel," Aiden finished for me. "This is a big step."

"Huge."

"And…how's it going?"

I smiled. "Like a dream. A really good, really hot one."

Aiden let me pay for our coffees. We stepped out into the night.

"Do you want to come back to my place?" Aiden asked. "I've got a bottle of nice Scotch, or we could just hang out, chat some more. Or…"

I knew what that meant. And boy did I want to say yes. But it was already ten o'clock and I wasn't sure how late Patrick expected me to be.

"Can you give me a second to check in with my nephew, Patrick? He's with Lucy."

"Yeah, of course," Aiden said, his gaze running over me in a very appealing way. "I'm just going to step into the bakery. Do you like scones?"

"I do like scones."

Aiden smiled and walked away. I found a quiet spot and took out my phone, texting Patrick. Hopefully he'd answer.

Just checking in. Is it okay if I stay out a bit longer?

I waited, watching the people walking by, wondering if going back to Aiden's place was a good idea. It had been a long time since I'd been physical with anyone, and I really liked Aiden.

My phone chimed and I looked down.

Lucy's in bed. I'm watching America's Top Model. Btw, that chili you made was so good!

I grinned.

Thanks. Look, I don't know if I'm ready to come home…

Huzzah, huzzah. Eggplant emoji.

Lol. Can you stay another couple of hours?

YES.

I'll pay you overtime.

Not necessary. Go have fun.

I'll try to be back by midnight.

I can sleep on the couch. Stay out as long as you want. It's good for you.

I sent him a super happy face emoji.

I pocketed my phone just as Aiden came out of the bakery holding a paper bag that he shoved in his coat pocket.

"I hope that smile means you can accept my invitation?" he said.

"Wait! What have you got there?"

"Never mind. You'll see in a bit."

"Should we take two cars, or…"

"Actually, we can walk. I live across from the Museum of Nature."

"Oh!"

"Yeah, it's a great old building, but it's a walk-up and I'm on the fourth floor. Do you think you can make it?"

"Very funny. How out of shape do I look?"

Aiden gave me a hungry glance. "You look fucking fantastic. But let's see how hard you're breathing when we get to my apartment."

* * * *

The stairs to Aiden's apartment were a workout, but that wasn't the only reason I was breathing hard when we made it to the top floor.

"You're as out of breath as I am," I pointed out.

"It's not from the stairs," he said, keying the door and pushing it open. It made a creak that echoed off the plastered walls of the high-ceilinged hallway.

"Come in." He flipped the light switch. Old wood floors, polished to a shine, and a hall closet in front of me, opened up into a central hallway with two doors off the left and what looked like a living area at the far end.

The door swung shut with a loud bang that echoed in the old building. Aiden locked the deadbolt.

"What a cool—"

He grabbed my shirt and pulled me against him.

"Whoa." My breath caught in my throat as our bodies collided and my gaze landed on a pair of dark brown eyes.

"I need to kiss you…if that's okay," he whispered, his mouth inches from mine, the smell of coffee and vanilla wafting up my nose. "Please let it be okay…"

"God, yes."

He cupped the back of my head as our mouths met in a searching, scorching kiss that made my toes curl.

Aiden gave a little groan as he parted his lips and accepted my searching tongue, our hands grasping at each other as he turned me around and guided me through a nearby doorway.

"This is my bedroom," Aiden gasped in between kisses.

"Convenient," I whispered. "Right beside the front door…"

He inhaled a shuddering breath. "Goddamn it, you're gorgeous."

"You're gorgeous," I countered, reaching for the buttons on Aiden's shirt. Then I paused and pulled back. "Are we doing this?" I asked, breathless with need and excitement. Please say yes.

"I really want to," Aiden murmured, pulling my shirttails out of my pants.

"Good. Good," I said, kissing him again, breathing in the scent of his clean body and oozing testosterone. "Fuck, I need this…so bad."

He kissed me harder, then pulled back and got to work on his own clothes, stripping off his shirt and pushing down his jeans as I stood there, open-mouthed and enthralled. It felt like I was in some kind of movie as I watched him reveal himself.

When he was stripped to a pair of navy boxer briefs that made his erection pretty obvious, he grabbed my shirt and pulled me into another kiss.

"Strip, Fletcher."

It didn't take me long to get down to my white boxer briefs.

"Okay. Now what?"

"Oh, fuck yes," Aiden said, as I threw my jeans aside and faced him, tossing my bangs out of the way.

"I need a haircut." I laughed as my hair fell back in front of my eyes.

Aiden shook his head. "No. You're perfect."

He moved forward and carded his fingers through my hair. "Have you always been blond?"

I quirked an amused eyebrow. "You mean is my hair dyed? It's natural."

"Mine, too," he said, pulling at the tight brown curls that framed his handsome face. "I can't be bothered fighting it."

"I love your hair," I said, pulling him into another kiss. "And the way your eyes go so dark when you're horny…like right now."

I slid my fingers along his side, over his hip and traced a knuckle over his erection.

He shuddered and pushed me backward.

"I really hope there's a bed in here. I haven't had a chance to look," I said.

"I'd do you on the floor at this point. But yes, there's a bed."

"By ‘do me' do you mean…"

He rolled his eyes. "I mean, whatever feels good, yeah? And whatever makes you comfortable," he said, stepping forward.

I went to take a step back and found the bed right behind my knees. I fell backward. Aiden climbed over me.

"No more. No less."

"Easy," I gasped. "I'm so turned on I might go off."

"I don't fucking care if you do," Aiden said, examining my face and my neck and meeting my gaze. "And I don't want to go easy."