Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

JULIEN

Ash and I step out onto the balcony. I lean forward onto the railing and look across the distance to the curved horizon. The sun is big and bright, the sky a vibrant turquoise blue. The world continues on like normal. But nothing right now is normal.

Charles Worthington has been in contact with Elijah and me daily. After the initial assessment and preliminary traffic collision report, the District Attorney's Office cleared us of any liability in the accident. GC and FID tests during autopsy showed that David and Lamar's blood-alcohol levels were over twice the legal limit. David was driving, Lamar was in the passenger seat. They weren't wearing seat belts. David was doing a hundred and five when he swerved into us coming from the other direction. A blind corner, which is why I didn't see him.

"How is he?" Ash asks, joining me.

"Hurting."

Elijah's heart is broken, a feeling I know all too well because it's what happened to me when Liz disappeared. He's not sleeping and is exhausted, so I made him take a nap.

Ash gently taps my foot with the side of his sneaker. "And you?"

"Managing," I reply.

Because of my concussion, our athletic trainer put me on two weeks' medical leave. After which, I have to be reevaluated before I'm allowed to start playing again.

"Shaun wants him there tomorrow."

For David's and Lamar's funerals. Two separate wakes. Two separate graveside services.

"We'll be there."

Elijah would regret it for the rest of this life if he didn't go, so I'm going to make sure that he does.

Ash turns and looks at me. "I don't know if I should tell you something, but my conscience says I need to for Elijah's sake."

He has my full attention.

"Okay," I warily reply. "Is this something I'm going to want to sit down for?"

"I think that'd be best."

Ash lowers to one of the Adirondack chairs and waits for me to do the same. He's never this serious, and my heartbeat palpitates in trepidation over what he feels the urgent need to tell me.

He takes an elastic band from his wrist and gathers his hair into a short ponytail before saying, "It's about David… and Elijah."

My heart gives one giant thud before stuttering to a halt. David and Elijah. Of course, my mind jumps to a specific conclusion. They hooked up. My worst fear come to life. Do I want to know if they did, or do I want to remain in blissful ignorance? Too late now.

"Just tell me."

Ash glances toward the sliding door before his dark eyes come back to me.

"Elijah was going to tell you, but things… happened before he could."

His stammering is killing me, every second a razor-thin slice to my soul.

"Ash, spit it out."

"They got into a fight a couple of weeks ago. A big one."

The tension smothering me eases slightly. "What about?"

"You."

Nope. It's back.

"David told Elijah that he was in love with him. He wanted Elijah to leave you and be with him. David wouldn't stop hounding him. Fallon got involved."

"Fallon knew?"

I'm going to kick his ass for not telling me.

"I walked in on David getting a little… aggressive with Elijah. Made him leave. Elijah said he would handle it when I voiced my concerns."

Voiced his concerns. Nausea rolls swiftly.

"Did David—" I swallow, not wanting to give voice to the awful thought.

I know every inch of Elijah's body, and I would've noticed bruises if David had hurt him. Wouldn't I?

My fingers dig into my hair at the scalp and pull. Why didn't Elijah tell me?

Knowing what I'm thinking, Ash quickly relays, "David didn't get physical. Just pushy."

"I appreciate you telling me." But the person I need to hear it from is Elijah.

"Don't be mad at him."

"I'm not."

I'm disappointed, not mad.

The sliding door opens, and Liz pokes her head out. "Ash, are you sticking around for supper? Tacos are almost ready."

The spicy, cumin-infused aroma spills out from inside, and as delicious as it smells, it doesn't help with the nausea that won't settle down.

He stands up and hooks his thumbs in the belt loops of his ripped jeans. "Can't. Date night with Mei. But thanks for the invite. Tell Elijah I came by."

"Will do. And thanks, Ash."

He holds out his fist for me to bump. "Anytime."

Sitting back, I stare off into the distance at the hilltop where Elijah and I like to watch the sunrise together. It's been a while since we've done that.

Liz's arms come around my neck from behind. "Penny for your thoughts."

"You'd need a million of them."

"Daniel can give me a loan. He and Drew are loaded," she jokes.

When I don't respond, she comes around and sits down in front of me on the abrasive concrete. Her hands go to my knees.

"I'd like to help if you'd let me. I'm a good listener, or so I've been told."

Her gentle smile helps alleviate some of the churning in my gut. How she can still form a beautiful smile after suffering all the awful shit she's lived through just proves how fucking strong she is.

"You were the best listener," I reply. "So, tacos?"

"The best you'll ever put in your mouth. Let's go and make Elijah a plate."

The counter island is set up like a taco bar with all the fixings in their own bowls. Ry takes out a baking pan loaded with taco shells from the oven.

"Perfect timing. Babe, can you grab some plates?"

"Jay not eating?" I ask.

"He's at a fight."

Liz frowns as she takes four plates from the cupboard. The other day when she was here, Jay accidentally let it slip about the fights. Liz doesn't get why he does it. Ry and I don't like it, but we'd rather he uses his fists to deal with his shit than drink until he blacks out. Lesser of two evils.

"Have you taken your meds today?" Ry asks her.

"An hour ago."

"Any headaches?" he asks me.

"Nope."

Liz pops up on tiptoe and kisses him. "You're worse than Daniel with the mother-henning. What does Elijah like on his tacos?"

I look at the spread laid out. Meat, lettuce, cucumber, shredded cheese, diced onion, fresh cilantro, a tub of sour cream.

"Everything except sour cream."

"What about you?"

"Same," I reply.

She scoots Ry out of the way, grabs six taco shells, and fills each one until they overflow.

"Thanks for the food. I'll load the dishwasher later."

Liz tucks some paper towels into my pockets. "You don't have to do that."

"You guys cooked, therefore I clean."

"Not going to argue," Ry says. "I'm staying at Elizabeth's tonight. Call if you need me."

Balancing the plate in one hand and bottles of water in the other, I kiss Liz's cheek, then because I feel like it, kiss Ry's.

"You know, I had a huge crush on you when I was nine."

His dark-brown brows hike up. "No shit?"

Liz points at me. "You had your chance. He's mine now. No take backs."

I'm smiling all the way to the bedroom. Luckily, the door is wide open, otherwise, I'd have to do some major body contortion to turn the knob with my toes since my hands are currently occupied.

I quietly watch Elijah from the doorway. He's reclined against the headboard, bare chested and wearing my gray sweatpants, talking to someone on the phone. It doesn't matter that I see him every day. Every time I look at him, I lose the ability to breathe. I love him so fucking much, and it kills me to see him hurting. I don't know what to do or how to help, so I take a lesson from him and do what he did for me. Love him unconditionally. Stand by him. Be his strength when he feels weak, his anchor when he feels adrift, and his light when he loses his way.

Without saying goodbye, he turns his phone off and stares at the blacked-out screen.

I slip inside the room and set the plate and waters on the nightstand. "Picnic in bed? I brought tacos."

"Can't turn down tacos."

He butt-scoots over and makes a place for me, but I crawl on top of him and cage him in.

"Hey." I brush my nose against his.

The smile that lights me up in every way comes out. It's like seeing the sunshine after weeks of cloudy skies.

"Hi."

"Just wake up?" I ask.

"Phone woke me up."

His lips are pillowy soft when I press my mouth to them. "Ash came by."

"He did?"

"Mmm hmm. Shaun asked him if you were coming tomorrow. I told Ash we'd be there."

Elijah doesn't say yes or no, just nods.

"Who was on the phone?"

"Beverly."

His mother is tenacious, I'll give her that. Mr. Barnes told her about the accident, and she's been calling Elijah every fucking day, wanting to see him. It's not my place to tell him what to do about her. She's his mother, not mine. I'll support whatever decision he makes, but if she hurts him again, I'm siccing Fallon on her.

"Let's eat. I'm starving."

Sitting cross-legged, I put the plate between us.

"Ryder make these?"

"Yep," I reply with my mouth full.

If Ryder didn't already have his future set with running his dad's garage, I'd suggest he open his own restaurant. Everything he makes is fucking delicious.

Elijah finishes off one taco in seconds. He hasn't had much of an appetite lately.

I remove the stack of paper towels Liz buried in my pocket and hand him one.

"I love you," I tell him.

Elijah's gorgeous hazels raise, and for the first time in a week, I see it. The spark. Him. My Elijah.

He carefully licks his lips, his gaze glued to me. "I need to tell you something."

Caressing his cheek, I reply, "Ash told me."

Elijah dips his chin to his sternum. "You should have heard it from me. I'm sorry, Julien."

"To answer the former, yes, you should have told me. To the latter, you never have to say you're sorry. Not to me." I reach for his hand, twining our fingers together, hoping to alleviate any lingering doubt or fear. Smiling, I say, "A wise man once told me, ‘You're my boyfriend too, you know. It's not a one-way street. We're in a relationship together. Me and you. What hurts you, hurts me. Your fights are my fights. And dammit, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm completely and totally in love with you.' "

His lips part as if to speak, but no words come out. Instead, he leans in and kisses me. The taste of him, mixed with the lingering flavors of Ryder's cooking, is a spicy symphony on my tongue.

Dinner seemingly forgotten, Elijah straddles my lap and deepens our kiss, his tongue driving me crazy as it does wicked things to my mouth.

"And I'm totally, completely, head-over-heels in love with you. Now, kindly take off your clothes. I'd very much like to make love to my boyfriend."