Chapter 23

I wokeup to Riley rubbing up against my side. I swiped at my eyes and tried to wipe some of the grit outta them. I really needed a fuckin’ shower. I smiled once Ri’s face came fully into focus.

He looked so adorable when he slept. His brown hair was sticking up in all different directions. His mouth was open and the cutest little sounds were escaping. I trailed my fingers lightly down his arm, unable to stop myself. I needed to touch him all the damn time. If I could every fuckin’ moment of the day, it still wouldn’t be enough.

Riley’s eyes started to flutter open, and it took my fuckin’ breath away. It didn’t matter that I’d seen them nearly every day for the last twenty years. They still fascinated me.

I was suddenly hit with the idea to do more. It wasn’t enough to just mess with Riley late at night in our bed. I wanted the whole fuckin’ world to know that he was mine.

While he was still asleep, I carefully slipped outta bed and grabbed my phone and headed to the bathroom. I took a second to take stock of my injuries. They weren’t too bad. The bruising on my face was light, and my ribs really only hurt if I stretched or twisted funny. They were sore more than anything. I ran my hands over my ass. That was also a little sore, but in all the best ways. Still couldn’t believe last night had happened, that I’d even wanted it to.

After I pissed and brushed my teeth, I grabbed my phone and made a few texts. Luckily, one of my coworkers was willing to pick up my shift today if I agreed to work for them over the weekend. Totally worth it.

I didn’t want Riley to wake up alone, but I also really needed a shower, so I hoped for the best and figured he’d hear the water and know where I was if he did wake up. Luckily, when I got back, he was just starting to stir.

He smiled softly at me once his eyes fully opened. “Hey.”

“I’m takin’ you out on a date.”

Riley blinked at me. “Huh?”

“We’ve been whatever this is for a while now. But it isn’t enough. You deserve more. I’m takin’ you on a date. Today. Before we gotta go to work. I already switched my shift at the factory.”

Riley perched up on his elbow. He looked at me like I’d lost my damn mind. “Becks, you don’t gotta do that.”

I leaned over the bed and kissed his nose. “I know, but I want to. So go shower and do your thing. We’re goin’ out.”

Riley still looked unsure, but I couldn’t figure out why. “Becks, do we have money for that?”

“I ain’t takin’ you on a cruise, butterfly. We’ll be fine. Now go on. Go, so we can get goin’.”

Riley’s frown turned into a smile, though he still looked a little unsure.

I smacked his thigh playfully. “Go, butterfly.”

The smile came for real this time, and he leaned over and kissed me quickly before scrambling outta the bed and to the bathroom.

Once I heard the shower, I finished getting dressed before I stumbled out of the room to find some coffee. My body was starting to ache, and I wished I’d thought to grab the painkillers while I was still in the bathroom.

When I made my way to the main rooms, I noticed everything was cleaned up. All the broken glass was in the trash, and someone made an effort to try and clean up the carpet, though that thing was a lost cause already. I really didn’t deserve Jay. He was the best fuckin’ friend.

Jay was sleepin’ on the couch but shot up when I came in.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

He waved me away. “It’s all good.”

I went and took a seat next to him on the couch. “Ri and I are goin’ out, so you can take the bed if you want.”

He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand and nodded. “I’mma take you up on that. I’m fucking exhausted.”

Guilt churned when I remembered last night. I knocked his shoulder. “Thank you for everything. I’m really sorry about yesterday.”

Jay sighed. “It’s all good. I was pissed but mostly cause I was scared. I get why you did it, and I’d probably have done the same. Just don’t fuckin’ do it again.”

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. Jay leaned back, his head against mine. “I won’t. And was everything else okay? With him? I shoulda checked last night. I was just . . .”

“Bro, get over yourself. You had enough shit to deal with. I dropped the fucker off at his place. I even had Dakota look at him, said nothin’ was broken.”

I side-eyed him. “So, you and Dakota, huh?”

Jay smiled, lighting up in a way I rarely saw. “I really like him, Becks. Thanks for handlin’ that with him. I would’ve hated if y’all had issues.”

“He’s a good guy. Was just tryin’ to protect you. Nothin’ wrong with that.”

“Yeah, I know. Actually, he invited me to spend a few nights at his place. I think I’m gonna.”

I couldn’t hide my surprise. That was . . . fast. “Shit, really? It’s not cause of us, right? You know you’re always welcome here.”

“I know, man. And no. Though, you and Ri need some privacy for a bit. But I just—I don’t know. He makes me feel like maybe I’m not as big of a fuckup as I really am. It just feels good. And I know we’re movin’ fast, but nothin’ has ever felt so right before. Am I being a dumbass?”

“The only reason you’re a dumbass is for sayin’ you’re a fuckup. We’re all a little fucked up, yeah, but you’re makin’ the most outta a shitty situation.”

Jay glared at me. “I couldn’t even keep my crap hole apartment I shared with my drunk mom. How am I not a fuckup?”

It was a sensitive subject. He’d ended up breaking the lease after his mom died since he couldn’t afford it completely on his own. Not that she could work, but she’d been getting some kind of social security or something and without that, he couldn’t manage. It sucked, but it didn’t mean he was a screwup. That was just life.

Jay squeezed my thigh. “I don’t wanna talk about that right now. I just wanted to let you know I probably won’t be here when you get home tonight, so don’t worry. I’ll be back in a few days.”

“Okay, man. Whenever you need it, you can stay.”

“I know. Thanks, Becks.”

“Course. We’re family.”

I hauled myself off the couch after another minute and started making coffee for all three of us. I got an idea and quickly started to make some sandwiches and shove some snacks we had into my backpack while Ri was still showering. I even had time to set up some plans for our date. I heard the water shut off just in time. I brought Ri’s coffee into the bedroom and drank mine while I watched him get changed.

Half an hour later, we were finally on our way out.

“Where are we going, Becks? You wouldn’t let me eat and I’m starvin’.”

“Don’t worry, I’m feedin’ you.”

Riley stopped walking. “Becks . . .”

I huffed, trying not to get frustrated. I got why he was so fuckin’ worried, but it was killing the mood.

“I’m not spendin’ money. Does that make you feel better?”

His shoulders, that were all the way up to his ears, came down just a little. “Nothin’ at all?”

“Nope,” I replied, popping the P. I took a couple steps toward him, and started to massage his shoulders until the tension was all the way gone. “Let me take care of you, butterfly. I need this.”

Riley exhaled. “Okay.”

I grinned. “Yeah, so you’ll stop freakin’ out?”

Riley shoved at my chest. “Oh, shut the fuck up, Becks. I’m not freakin’ out.” I gave him a look. “Okay, not that much. But I trust you. So I’ll let it go and just enjoy the morning.”

“Thanks, that’s all I ask.” I tipped his chin back and kissed him until he was all breathless and no and stopped thinking altogether.

He was still a little dazed when I took his hand and started to walk down the street again.

I stopped in front of a warehouse. I knew Riley thought I was fuckin’ crazy. There was nothing about the place on the outside that gave any indication of what it was

.

“Becks, are you takin’ me to an abandoned building? Been there, done that, and don’t wanna relive the memories.”

I shoved him lightly with my shoulder. “No, you little shit. Why the fuck would I do that?” Those three months we squatted in that building were some of the most terrifying days of my fuckin’ life. I didn’t sleep more than a few minutes at a time, terrified someone was gonna grab Riley if I let my guard down. That was the second time I went back to Mr. Chase . . .

I swallowed down all that shit. No. Today was supposed to be fun. It was about showing Riley how much he meant to me, not any of the dark crap.

“C’mon.” I nudged him in through the unlabeled door.

I’d texted the owner before we’d left, so he was waiting for us in the empty lobby. Seriously, Ri had a point. What the fuck was up with the decor in this place?

“There you are, Cooks. I wasn’t sure if you were going to show up.”

Henry was one of the regulars at Walter’s and had owned this place for years. He’d always told me I could stop by and use the facilities whenever I wanted for free, but I never had. I didn’t wanna feel like I ever owed him something. But it was worth it for Riley.

“Henry, thanks for lettin’ us stop by. This is Riley.” My brother? My boyfriend? My fuckin’ everything. I didn’t elaborate.

Riley gave me some serious side eye, but he held out his hand and smiled at the guy. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too. Cooks here has been rambling on about you for years.”

I glared. “I don’t ramble.”

Riley just laughed. “I can’t decide if I should be scared or not.”

Henry grinned. “Oh, you should definitely be scared.” He turned toward me. “So there’s some forms you need to sign. You might be my guest, but I’m still not risking getting sued.”

I nodded. “Fair enough.”

“Normally, I have a safety spiel and you need to pass the closed course before you can touch any of the real weapons, but I’m trusting you two not to kill each other. Don’t fuck it up.”

I grinned. “We won’t. Thanks again.”

Henry grunted in acknowledgement. “You got any questions, ask. Everything’s all locked up, but you can pick what you want and I’ll get it out for you. The place doesn’t open for another hour, so you have the full run of it. There’s one guy who’s working out on the fighting side. We have an arrangement, but he won’t bother you.”

We both thanked him again, and I led Ri into the main area.

“What is this place?” Ri’s voice was filled with wonder as he took it in with wide eyes. I grinned. This was the right choice.

“It’s an all-purpose training arena that’s open to the public. There’s a boxing and MMA gym, a ropes and obstacle course, a knife throwing area, and a gun range, both indoor and outdoor. I think a few more things too. Henry’s been addin’ to it every few years. I can’t keep up.”

Ri was checking out the rock-climbing wall. “You’ve been here before?”

“Nah. Just been hearin’ him brag about it for years now.”

“And we can just do what we want?”

“Yeah. We’ll have to come back when I can move better, but I’m sure we can figure out something for today.”

“I-I don’t know where to start. This is fuckin’ awesome, Becks! Thanks for takin’ me.”

I wrapped my arms around him. “I’m glad I thought of it. Let’s eat first, yeah? And then we can do what we want.”

Ri’s stomach grumbled on cue. He nodded eagerly. “Yeah, let’s do that. I’m fuckin’ hungry.”

Henry had told me we could use the employee break room, so we wandered around till we found it. There was a long folding table set up in the middle of the room with a bunch of chairs around it. Good enough.

I dropped my backpack onto the table and started to pull out the sandwiches, drinks, and snacks, to set it up like a little picnic.

Ri’s eyes were huge as he watched me. “When did you even do all this?”

I rolled my eyes and lowered myself into the chair. I was already getting a little sore, which sucked. I had a feeling I’d be mostly watching today. Next time, though, I’d come with my A game and give Ri a run for his money on every course.

“It’s a couple sandwiches. Nothin’ special.”

Riley threw a chip from the bag he’d just opened at my face. “Fuck off. It’s more than a couple sandwiches. Even with all the fuckin’ drama goin’ on, you still took the time and effort to do somethin’ special for me. You called in favors, switched your work shifts around, made fuckin’ lunch. That is special, Becks. I know none of that comes easy to you, yet you did it for me. It means everything.”

I swallowed and looked away, busying myself with my food. The emotions were all just too close to the surface right now, and I didn’t want to get carried away. A chair scraped and then Ri was standing in between my legs and hugged my neck.

I returned the hug. My nails dug into his hips, but he didn’t care. “I don’t do the emotional shit, yet this week it seems like it’s all I’m doin’.”

He kissed my jaw. “It’s ‘cause you finally feel safe enough to let go.”

I rubbed my cheek against his, and just enjoyed having him close. But eventually, Ri’s stomach growled, which reminded me he hadn’t eaten. I turned him around and got him settled on my lap before reaching across the table and grabbed his sandwich.

“Your injuries—”

“Are fine. Eat, butterfly.”

“Eat, butterfly,” he mocked teasingly. “And you call me bossy.”

I ignored him and just picked up his sandwich and held it up to his lips. Ri sighed heavily but took a bite, making me preen inside. I loved knowing I was takin’ care of him, even if I knew he could do it himself.

“Here.” Ri had opened up another sandwich and held it to me. I rolled my eyes but ate it, both of us feeding each other like idiots, but we also couldn’t stop. It felt good to just be goofy and loving without having to worry about anything.

After lunch, we headed out to the main area. Like I thought, there wasn’t much I could do today, but I didn’t care. Seeing Riley having the time of his life was enough for me. He tried almost every course, from the ropes to the rock wall, and he even threw knives. He really liked that one. I just sat back and watched, amazed by the beautiful man that fuckin’ rocked my world.

How did I not realize what we could have? It was hard to believe I was so blind to the fact that we could be everything to each other. Nothing made more sense than us.

I noticed the other guy Henry said would be there watching us a couple times. The first was when Riley was throwing knives at targets. The guy stood far enough back that I couldn’t get a good look at him, but there was no question he was looking at us. When Ri would look his way, he’d disappear. I wanted to mention it, but I didn’t wanna freak Ri out, so I let it go.

An hour later, I’d completely forgotten about the guy, so wrapped up in Ri’s excitement.

He was bouncing up on his toes, grinning from ear to ear as we walked out a couple hours later. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him this . . . free. Before Mom died, that was for sure.

“We need to go back, Becks. Please tell me we can go back?”

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the side of his head, and didn’t care at all that we were in the middle of the street. “Course we can, butterfly. Next time, maybe Jay’ll come. Maybe even Dakota.”

“Oooh, like a double date. I’ve never been on a double date before.”

“Thought you’ve never been on a date before neither,” I grumbled. I knew I sounded ridiculous.

Riley just grinned up at me. “Not before today. Shit, I wish we both didn’t have work. I coulda stayed there all day.”

“Me too. But we’ll come back, I promise.”

I went to take a step away from the building when Riley started to pat his pockets. “Fuck, I think I left my phone in there. Be right back!”

He didn’t give me a chance to stop him so I could go too and bolted back into the warehouse.

“Goddamn it.” I wanted to follow him . . . I was overprotective on my best days, but after knowing that Mr. Chase had seen him, I was extra paranoid. I’d already decided either Jay or I would be taking Riley back and forth from his shifts. Not that he knew that yet. I figured there was no point ruining our perfect date with that tidbit. He’d find out eventually. I paced the sidewalk before I decided to go in after him.

“Excuse me, you’re Beckett Cooks, right?”someone asked before I could get inside.

I glanced up and came face-to-face with the guy who’d been working out on the other side of the place. I had only gotten a few glimpses of him, but the grim reaper tattoo that took up most of his left arm made it pretty fuckin’ obvious who he was.

“Why’re you askin’?”

He didn’t seem like one of Dad’s dealers, but who knew? He looked more like a fed than anything, besides the tats, but why would the feds want to talk to me? Mr. Chase? But that made no sense either. I just didn’t fuckin’ know. I shifted back, getting ready to run just on instinct. Not that I would, not with Riley still inside. I just couldn’t help the response.

The guy sighed. He was decent looking, probably in his early forties. He had short dark-brown hair, about the same color as Riley’s, and a well-maintained beard with a little gray in it. Guy was fuckin’ jacked and barely fit in the T-shirt he was wearing. He had sunglasses on despite it being cloudy, which added to the whole federal agent vibe.

“This is going to sound crazy, but my name is Wesley Hayes.” He paused like that was supposed to mean something to me. I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest. I didn’t know what this guy was getting at, but I’d rather he be gone before Ri came back out. I didn’t trust him and wanted him nowhere near my butterfly.

He huffed out a laugh when he didn’t get the response he was looking for. “Listen, I’ve been wanting to meet you and Riley for a while now but wasn’t sure how to approach this, and then when you showed up at the gym, I knew I couldn’t miss my chance.”

My guard went up. How did someone I knew nothing about know both Riley and me? Did Henry say something?

“How do you know who we are?”

The guy scrubbed his face. He looked like this was the last conversation he wanted to have. “I’ve been asking around and everyone said to approach you first. I really don’t want to mess with Riley’s life, so I figured this was best when I saw him go back inside. But—” He took a deep breath, and I tried not to hold mine. I couldn’t even imagine where this was going, but it couldn’t be good. “I’m pretty sure I’m Riley’s birth father.”

The world stopped as I tried to make sense of his words. His birth father? What the fuck? Where the hell had he been all these years? How did I know if this was even true?

“Bullshit,” I snapped.

Wesley took off his sunglasses and I nearly fell to my knees. Riley’s sky-blue eyes were staring back at me. There was no mistaking them. I hadn’t ever seen another person with a color like theirs before. I stumbled a few steps back.

“Becks! What’s wrong?” Riley ran up to me, looking worried as fuck. He grabbed at my arms and glared at Wesley.

“What the fuck is goin’ on?” He pushed me behind him, which was laughable since I was so much bigger, and it pissed me off some because I protected Riley. But it still made me swoon, which I’d never admit, in a way I didn’t even know I could.

Wesley, for his part, looked as shell-shocked as I did. It made sense then why I’d caught him staring a couple times, but he’d quickly walked away whenever Riley had turned toward him. He wasn’t ready for this. Neither was I.

“Riley?” he asked, his voice faint, like he was about to pass the fuck out.

“Who are you?” Ri snapped, suspicious just like I’d taught him to be.

Wesley opened his mouth, but my glare shut him up. I had to do this. I spun Riley around so he was facing me and turned us so my back was to Wesley, not Ri’s. Not that I thought he was gonna hurt us, but part of me still screamed this was some kind of trap. For what? I had no fuckin’ idea. But it seemed too suspicious, and I didn’t trust this guy as far as I could throw him, especially after what went down at the shelter yesterday.

“Riley, this guy says he’s Wesley Hayes.” I used the same emphasis he did. The name meant nothing to me, so I doubted it did to Ri either, but since he seemed to think it might, I thought I’d see. Riley stared at me blankly, clearly confused as all fuck. “He, um, he says he thinks he’s your birth father.”

Riley laughed in my face. “Don’t fuck around with me, Becks. I ain’t in the mood.”

I cupped his face in my hands and stepped closer so we were inches apart. I could practically feel the guy’s eyes boring a hole into me, but I didn’t care. He had no fuckin’ right to judge us or our relationship. “Butterfly, you know I’d never do that. Not about this.”

He tore himself out of my hold, and I let him. He glared at Wesley. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Like your brother said, my name is Wesley. I know this is really weird and a shock. I didn’t want to tell you like this. I should never have come over here now. I just, I needed to see you.”

Riley scoffed. He had his arms wrapped protectively around himself, but when I tried to reach for him, he pushed away. I hated it.

“I’m supposed to believe this bullshit? After twenty fuckin’ years, you just show up? Where the fuck have you been if you’re really my sperm donor?” Ri turned toward me before Wesley could speak. “Becks, we have to get to work. Are you ready?”

I had whiplash. I blinked and tried to follow what the fuck was happening. “Butterfly,” I started, but Riley cut me off.

“Not right now. I need to fuckin’ go. Are you comin’ or am I walkin’ to work by myself?”

“‘Course I’m comin’. But I’m sure it’s fine if you’re a few minutes late, and I know Walter won’t care.”

“Riley, I’m sorry—” Wesley started.

“No!” Ri screamed. “You, shut the fuck up. I can’t deal with whatever sick joke this is right now. I don’t got a dad. Because if I did, he would’ve showed up 15 years ago and not let a terrified 10-year-old have to raise me by himself. He’d’ve taken care of us. Right now, if you’re really even my sperm donor, you’re 15 years too late and I gotta fuckin’ go to work.” Riley turned back to me, and my heart fuckin’ broke. He looked destroyed.

“Becks, I need to fuckin’ go.”

“Yeah, of course.” I took a step toward him, but he stormed off before I reached him.

“Shit.” I turned toward Wesley, who was standing there helplessly and looked as heartbroken as Riley. “Do you know where Walter’s bar is?”

He nodded. “If you’re serious and this isn’t some kind of sick fuckin’ trick, meet me there in two hours. And for the love of God, don’t reach out to Ri.”

He nodded sharply, his jaw tight. I didn’t spare him another glance and ran after my brother.