Chapter 22

Riley’s pupilswere so blown that you could barely see any of the light blue. He sucked in his lip between his teeth as he stared at me for way too long. I knew he was worried that I wasn’t ready or that I’d freak out, but I didn’t think I had the words to express how much I fuckin’ needed him.

So I just kissed him. I put as much of how I was feeling into that kiss as I could. Words might’ve been failing me, but Riley always got me, and he understood this.

Not breaking the kiss, Riley adjusted us so I was flat on my back and he was straddling me. I flinched from a sharp pain in my ribs, and of course he noticed.

“Fuck, sorry. Did that hurt you? Maybe we should go to the hospital?”

I kissed him quiet. “I’m fine, butterfly. Just please go easy and maybe don’t sit on me?”

He grinned. “I guess I can manage that, just this once.”

He shifted down, lightly kissing my stomach as he did.

He lingered over the bruising along my side. “I hate that he did this to you again and I wasn’t fuckin’ there.”

I brushed Ri’s cheek with my thumb. “We’re not talkin’ bout that now. You did what you felt you had to do. I ain’t upset with you. And I’m glad you weren’t fuckin’ there. Let’s focus on right now please.”

He nodded, his eyes still too serious. Riley’s lips grazed over the bruises with a featherlight touch. I shivered. When he reached the edge of my sweatpants, he paused again.

“Riley, please.” I wasn’t above begging if it would get him to keep going.

He pushed down my pants. We both quickly got naked after that. This wasn’t about the foreplay. I needed to stop thinking so badly, and Ri understood.

He leaned over me and quickly grabbed the lube out of the drawer, and then his fingers brushed over the tip of my dick. “Just gettin” you relaxed,” he mumbled. He poured some lube in his hand and watched me carefully as he touched me, as if he was waiting for me to stop him. I didn’t. One day really soon, I’d want his mouth on me, but I was too antsy for that today.

I’d been soft when we’d started, but a few minutes with Ri’s hand and I started to harden. All his concentration was on my dick, like it was some major problem to solve. His tongue even stuck out between his teeth, something that happened when he was thinking hard.

“Will you be okay on your back? With your ribs? Or would you be better on your stomach? Or even side”

I thought about it. It might be better, but then I wouldn’t be able to see Riley’s face.

Somehow, Ri seemed to understand my fears. “I, um, I can keep talkin’ the entire time if it makes it easier for you. You’ll always know it’s me and that I’m here.”

I took a deep, shuddery breath, suddenly overcome with such a wave of affection. How the fuck did I get so lucky? My father probably only did one good thing in his fuckin’ life, and it was bringing Riley and his mom into our lives. No matter what else, I’d always be thankful for that at least.

“Can we try the side?”

Riley swallowed, looking determined as fuck. Yeah, this was so sexy . . . not. But then he kissed the inside of my thigh, and I lost all train of thought.

One I was settled, Riley came behind me, spooning me. His cock brushed against my hole. I waited to see if I’d tense, but I didn’t. This was Riley. His vanilla scent was strong, and his arms were secure around me. His lips touched my back, reminding me in every way that this was Riley. I relaxed.

We stayed just like that for a ridiculously long time. Riley would move every few seconds, jand just drag his dick up along my crease and do nothing else. I knew he was trying to get me comfortable and make sure I wasn’t hurting, but it was driving me crazy, my cock harder than I’d seen it in a long time.

“Butterfly,” I groaned, and pushed up against him. “I’m good. I’m gonna fuckin’ lose it if you don’t do somethin’ soon.”

Teeth bit into my skin. “Well, ‘scuse me for makin’ sure you’re comfortable.”

I laughed as I heard the lube bottle snap open.

I braced myself, waiting for his touch, but instead he leaned over me, careful not to touch my side. “Remember, it’s me, your butterfly. I’m right here. And if you need me to stop, tell me.”

“I know. I will. I’m good, butterfly. I swear it.”

“Okay. I’m gonna stretch you now. A lot. It’s my first time too and I wanna make it feel good. So be patient and don’t complain.”

“Yes, sir,” I snarked. He bit my shoulder again.

“Asshole.” But then he parted my cheeks and something cold and wet touched my hole as Riley’s fingertip pressed up against the entrance.

“Okay . . . I got this.” He whispered to himself. I grinned.

“Yes, you do, butterfly. I trust you.”

It was what he needed to hear, and then all I felt was a slight burn as his fingertip pushed in past the entrance.

It had been . . . a while. And prep wasn’t exactly a concern with him. But every movement, every action from Ri was filled with so much fuckin’ care and love, it shattered me. It took him forever to push his finger in, and even if it was making my ribs twinge a bit, I was fucking blown away.

He started to hesitantly move his finger, sliding it about halfway out before pushing back in. I wrapped my hand around my dick and started to lightly stroke it. He curled his finger inside me, and I was a goner.

“Ugh, that’s it, butterfly. Feels so fuckin’ good.”

He kissed between my shoulder blades. “Yeah, you like that, baby?” He seemed to be gaining some confidence in both his movements and his words. He curled his finger again. I fuckin’ gasped.

“Can I add a second finger?”

“Yes! Fuck, yeah, please.”

“And you’ll tell me if it’s hurtin’ your ribs or anywhere else?”

I grunted, not wanting him to pull out now. “Yeah, butterfly. Just please, give me more. I still feel empty.”

Riley added a finger, and I fuckin’ keened. It was almost embarrassing how good that felt, but I couldn’t really be embarrassed about anything when it came to him.

“Shh, I got you, baby. Holy fuck, Becks. You should see this. Your ass is just swallowin’ my fingers. I can’t wait for it to be my dick.”

“Fuck . . .” Ri began scissoring his fingers, which stretched me out even more. I felt so full, but somehow it still wasn’t enough.

“Butterfly . . .” I moaned, trying to push back onto his fingers.

“None of that, baby. You just lie nice and still and let me take care of you.”

Why was that so fuckin’ hot? I had been lazily stroking my cock, but I picked up the pace, matching the rhythm Riley set as he fucked my ass.

“Can I add a third finger?” he asked as he curled them, brushing my prostate and which had me groaning like I was in a fuckin’ porno.

“I’d rather your dick,” I grumbled.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m runnin’ this show.”

“Bossy.” But the word ended on an undignified sound as Ri’s third finger pushed inside me.

I tensed at the pressure, which wasn’t fun for my ribs, but I breathed through it, not wanting Ri to stop. I needed this and I could deal with the pain. The bruising wasn’t that bad anyway. I’d had worse.

Riley was still way too fuckin’ slow at first as he allowed me to get used to the stretch.

“Holy shit, Becks. I can’t . . . This is crazy. I never thought I’d get the chance to do this.”

I grunted. “Can you stop reminiscing and move please? Or better yet, get your dick in me.”

His teeth nipped at me again. Jesus Christ, was he a man or a fuckin’ puppy?

“I don’t know. I kinda like this.”

“Riley!”

He sighed like it really was gonna be a struggle for him. Then he licked a stripe up my back. “Fuck, Becks, even your skin tastes good.”

His fingers slid out, and I regretted the loss immediately.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. I got you. I just need more lube.”

“Ri! I’m fine. Please.” I pushed back, practically whining when I couldn’t feel him. Fuck, I was so needy.

His hands caressed my ass. “You’re okay, Becks. Just, uh, give me a second. I’d never done this before.”

Right. I tried to twist to look at him, but it hurt so instead I just held my hand out behind me, relieved when he squeezed it with his. “Are you okay? If you’re not ready—”

“No!” he shouted, making me to wince. “Sorry! No, I’m ready. I’m so fuckin’ ready. I’ve been ready for ages, baby. Just be patient with me if it’s awkward. I’m not that big, and . . .”

I wished I could see him. “Ri, let me see you for a sec.”

“Why?”

“Just do it, butterfly.”

He grumbled, but his face was suddenly inches from mine as he carefully leaned over me again.

“First of all, fuck off with that self-doubt bullshit. Everything about you is perfect. And don’t correct me on this. Even the parts that aren’t are perfect for me. That includes your dick. I don’t wanna know who got it in your head that you’re small because it’ll make me all murdery, but it’s bullshit. And even if you were, I wouldn’t care because it’s still you. This is my first time too. Or well, the first time I’m countin’. So if you don’t hold that against me, then I won’t hold it against you neither.”

All the doubt evaporated, leaving only lust. “Is it bad that I fuckin’ love that we’re both each other’s firsts?”

I melted. He didn’t even question what I meant or try to tell me I was wrong or something. Ri just accepted my words like he always did everything. My fingers curled in his hair and I kissed him.

“No, it’s not wrong. It makes me happy too.”

Riley smacked a loud kiss on my lips and then was behind me again. I heard the lube bottle and then the unmistakable sounds of his hand against his cock. He lay flush behind me, our legs intertwined. Ri gripped my thigh, probably to avoid the ribs, and lined himself up. He paused for one second and then started to push in.

“Ohhh, fuck.” It burned, and my ribs hurt, but I’d also rather die than tell Riley to stop. He was going so slow, was so careful, and kept stopping every inch to make sure I was okay.

It brought tears to my eyes, and they weren’t from the discomfort. The times from the past wanted to creep up, but every time they did, Ri would rub his thumb along my skin or kiss my back or do something to remind me that I couldn’t possibly be in better hands. For the first time in a long time, maybe forever, I felt safe.

“Ugh, Becks, baby. You’re so tight. You feel so good. Thank you for givin’ me this. Thank you for trustin’ me. I got you.”

He finally pushed all the way in. “Are you okay?”

I nodded and grabbed his hand that was on my thigh, and placed it on my dick just so he could see how okay I truly was. “Y-yeah. I feel full, but good. Safe.”

Riley’s hips hitched and his breath blew hot against my back as he gasped. “Yeah. You’re safe, Becks. You’re always safe with me.”

He started moving but never stopped checking in with me. “How are your ribs?” he asked again as he slid about halfway out and then pushed steadily back in. His other hand was working my cock into a frenzy, and I lost all sense of control.

All I could do was feel. Riley’s body pressed up against my back, his lips on my skin. His hand around my dick, his dick in my ass.

“I’m so full, butterfly. You feel so good.”

“So do you.” He grunted.

It wasn’t long before the sensation overload became something more. “Ri, I’m gonna come!”

“Fuck. Me too. I’m tryin’ to hold off, but I can’t no more.”

“Don’t. Don’t hold back. I wanna feel you fill me up.”

“Fuckin’ A, baby. Don’t say shit like that.”

“It’s true. Nothin’s ever been truer.”

Riley groaned. “Your wish is bout to come true.”

His hips stuttered as his fist tightened around my cock. His teeth latched onto my shoulder as his orgasm hit him full throttle. It was so much, and then I was following right after him, my load hittin’ the sheets.

Riley pulled out of me way too quickly. “Don’t!” But it was too late as his softening cock left my body. I squeezed my cheeks tight, trying to keep all his release inside of me, but some slid out.

“Oh shit.” Riley froze. “It’s leakin’ out of you.” He sounded mesmerized, “I-I’ve never thought about that. It looks so hot.”

“Don’t wanna lose it.”

Riley’s fingers tickled as he slid them along my crease. I gasped as he pushed them inside. Fuckin’ crap, was he pushing his cum back into my hole?

Yeah, that was definitely happening. It was so much. So fuckin’ amazing.

“Shit.” I whined as Riley’s fingers left me, and then he wasn’t even up against me anymore. Where’d he go? I felt lost, floundering. I needed my butterfly.

The bed dipped, and when I opened my eyes, Riley was in front of me, butt naked and worried as fuck.

“Baby. Was that too much? I’m sorry.”

I took a few deep breaths, greedily taking in all the air I could manage. “No, not too much. It was perfect. You tried to fill me back up.”

It was clear Ri thought I’d lost my damn mind, but he still smiled tentatively. “Y-yeah. You said you didn’t wanna lose it. I-I didn’t know what else to do. Was it okay?”

“Yeah, butterfly. I just got overwhelmed, but it was amazin’. All of it was.”

He relaxed. “You’re okay, right? Like, with all that but also your ribs?”

“I’m good and they’re fine. I’ll ice them later. It was totally worth it.”

His smile was everything. “Good. I love you, Beckett.”

“I know, butterfly. Love you too.”

After a bit, Riley got up and grabbed us a towel from the bathroom. He cleaned us up and got me some ice and more painkillers before settling back in. The sheets were a mess, but both of us were too exhausted to do anything about it besides throwing a towel over the wet spot and scooting over. We’d deal with it tomorrow. Despite everything that had happened today and all the uncertainty ahead of us, I slept, feeling more settled than I had in a long time.