Chapter 15

It wasnothing like any of the other little innocent kisses we’d had so far. His lips were chapped, but that just added to the Rileyness of it all. He tasted sweet and spicy, and it was just fuckin’ everything.

Then, the Riley I loved more than anything else kicked into gear. His hands flew up and his fingers buried in my hair, pulling me closer to him. My first instinct was to fight for dominance, but I didn’t want to fight Riley. My thoughts were crazy and I couldn’t land on anything, but there was one thing I did know. I’d do anything for my butterfly, and if he wanted to take control, I wasn’t gonna stop him.

As soon as I relented, Riley began attacking my mouth. He stood, without breaking the kiss, and pushed me back so I was leaning against the back of the couch, and he straddled my lap. His tongue was fuckin’ my mouth, and I willingly let him. I craved it. So much dominance in such a small fuckin’ package.

I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him toward me. Riley began grinding against me, making it clear he was enjoying every last bit of this. I took a moment to see how I felt about it, and I was surprisingly okay with it. The fear and whatever bullshit I had the other day just wasn’t there right now. I could even feel myself thickening in my pants, which was nearly as surprising. I rarely got turned on anymore. It lit some serious feelings inside of me, and I pushed up against him, so he knew I felt the same.

Finally, Riley pulled back, his eyes wild and chest heaving.

“Becks . . . ,” he whispered, and there was so much meaning in that one little word. I fisted his shirt and pecked his lips.

“I’m right here, butterfly. I ain’t going nowhere.”

Riley was on me again. And he was every-fuckin’-where. His hands were wildly roaming my back like he didn’t know where to put them. His mouth was fuckin’ owning me. I never ever thought I’d let someone else take over like this, but with Riley, it felt right. For once my head was quiet, and I settled in and let him do what he wanted.

Riley was dry-humping me like a maniac, his clothed dick dragging’ over mine over and over again. It was driving me nuts. I was glad I was wearing fuckin’ sweatpants and not jeans because he’d probably have caused me to break the damn zipper.

“Butterfly, if you don’t stop, I’m gonna come in my pants.”

I feel him smile against my lips. “Good.”

Oh, that little shit . . . Two could play that game.

As much as I loved Ri taking over, I wasn’t gonna make it easy on him. In one move, I had him flipped so his back was on the couch, and I climbed over him. His gaze burned into mine.

I buried my face in his neck, and let his vanilla scent wash over me. I nipped at his skin causing him to let out the most obscene fuckin’ moan.

Riley’s hands crawled down my waist. “I wanna touch you.” His voice was tentative, and I was sure he was wondering what the fuck had changed after I’d nearly melted down from his touch the other day. It was a good question I didn’t have an answer to. I just knew I was done second guessing myself and letting my past dictate my future. Could I have a future like this with Riley? All the reasons I shouldn’t were getting harder and harder to remember.

“So, do it.”

He had his hand in my sweatpants in seconds.

“Is this okay?” he asked, and I loved him for it. My heart was beating hard in my chest, but I knew I didn’t want him to stop, and with Jay passed out with the help of drugs, I didn’t have to worry about him walking in.

“Yeah.”

I was already hard as fuck so my dick bounced out as soon as it was free. Riley pushed at me. “Sit, I wanna see.”

I chuckled huskily but did what he asked. As soon as I was sitting, he crawled up so he was on his knees in front of me, hungrily taking in my length.

“Fucking hell, Beckett. You could kill someone with that thing.”

I snorted. “I promise, no one has ever died by my dick.”

Riley’s eyes darkened and his hand moved to my throat, squeezing. “Don’t talk about anyone seein’ your cock but me. Whoever you fucked before, I don’t wanna know. That’s done. It belongs to me.”

Holy fuck. Who was this and what did he do to my butterfly? Everything about him promised bodily harm if I even looked at someone else. But that was fine by me.

I didn’t bother mentioning that no one had seen my cock that way. Not by my choice anyway. I enjoyed his jealousy too much to ruin the mood.

I tilted my head to give him more access. “Yes, butterfly.” Riley sucked in a breath and his fingers twitched lightly on my throat. “But it goes both ways. If we’re doin’ this, we’re doin’ it. You ain’t givin’ any other dickheads named Cole your number, even if it’s to get a rise outta me.” I reached out and squeezed his bulge through his pants. “This is fuckin’ mine.”

Riley stopped touching me, his expression serious. “Are we doing this?”

I swallowed and took a second to make sure my thoughts were clear. “I-I wanna try if you still do. My head’s still all kinds of confused, but there’s no question you’re my person. Why wouldn’t this work? As long as you promise to be patient with me if I start havin’ doubts or voices in my head that have no business being there.”

Riley lightly touched my chest. “I have all the patience in the world for you, baby. I know Dad said some fucked-up shit growin’ up, but don’t let him in. He don’t deserve space in here.” He tapped the side of my head. “Whatever you’re feelin’ is okay and not wrong. Even if—” He took a breath. “Even if you realize you just love me as a brother, that’s okay as long as you don’t leave me.”

I leaned in and kissed him, allowing myself to feel fuckin’ everything. Yeah, no. It definitely didn’t feel like I was kissing my brother. It felt right.

“Never, butterfly. Never gonna leave.”

Then my butterfly was humping me again, and I had no thoughts at all.

He fumbled to get his pants down. He was hard and dripping and looked so fuckin’ desperate that it took me the rest of the way there. He spit on both his hands and then wrapped one around himself and one around me, watching me carefully to make sure I didn’t stop him. I didn’t.

“Becks, fuck, you’re so big. I want to taste you so fuckin’ badly.”

I thought of Riley on his knees for me. He wanted it, that was clear, but all I could think of was the cracked concrete biting into my knees and my hands shaking as he glared down at me. I squeezed my eyes shut. He needed to get the fuck outta my head.

“Not yet. I-I’m not ready. I’m sorry.”

Riley stopped touching me and looked me in the eye. “We need to put a rule on apologizing. We don’t do it for stupid shit. You don’t apologize for that. It’s fuckin’ bullshit that you even thought you had to, Becks. We wait as long as you need to.”

I was suddenly feeling really vulnerable and I watched my dick start lagging. Fuck, I was ruining this already. “What if I’m never ready?”

He shrugged. “That’s fine too. I’m sure there’s plenty of other things we could do. And even if there isn’t, I don’t give a fuck. I just want you, Becks. Just you.”

Tears were threatening to fall, but I blinked them back. Riley was still sitting here with his dick out half hard, and maybe it wasn’t exactly what we imagined, but I still wanted something.

“Can I touch you?” I asked, smiling at the huge grin and overeager nod he gave me in response.

“Fuckin’, yes, please.”

I was just glad I didn’t ruin everything. I wished we had lube, but it was in the bedroom with Jay, so I just spit on my hand to add to what was already there and touched Riley for the first time.

I hadn’t done this in so long, and with all my past trauma right up on the surface, it would be easy enough to go back there, but then Ri’s hand wrapped around mine, and I was right back where I should be.

I was so tentative at first, it was ridiculous. I wasn’t some fuckin’ teenager with no experience. But this was Ri, and I wanted to make sure he felt good. I started moving.

“That’s it, Becks. Your hand feels so good, baby. You can hold me tighter and go faster. That’s it. Fuck, baby. This is everything.”

“Fuck. Butterfly.” My own cock started twitching, but I didn’t touch it. This was enough.

“Becks, I’m so close. Please, baby, make me come,” Riley whispered, and damn, who knew something could sound so filthy coming out of his mouth? I increased my tempo as Riley leaned forward, fisted my hair, and started kissing me again.

It was like sensation overload. He had a way of taking over my senses so all I could feel was my butterfly. All I could smell and see was him. Riley’s name just ran on repeat. It was like a fuckin’ mantra in my brain.

“I’m close, Beckett.”

“Come, Riley. Let me see how much you want this.”

“Fuck,” he hissed, closing his eyes.

Riley’s body jerked and his cum coated my hand.

“Butterfly,” I choked out, absolutely overwhelmed. I was hard as fuck now, but I completely ignored it. Just watching Riley come undone for me was enough. His breathing was heavy, his eyes glassy, and was an absolute mess. A beautiful fuckin’ mess.

Rough fingers caressed my cheek, and I could feel Riley’s breath on my face. His lips brushed against mine. “That was amazing.”

I could fuckin’ breathe again. I squeezed Ri as close to me as possible and kissed the top of his head, relishing how he melted into my side. “Do you want to come?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Not right now.” Riley nodded, completely accepting me and my weird fuckin’ hang-ups like it was nothing. But it wasn’t. It meant everything to me.

I should probably get something to clean him up with, but I didn’t think either of us could muster up a fuck right now and bother to get up.

“Does this mean I’m yours?” Riley asked quietly.

“You were always mine, butterfly. I think I’m just startin’ to understand exactly what that means.”