21. Chase

"I think we may be about to get in a fight," I told Adam, plopping down onto his couch next to him. I put down the bowl of popcorn I'd brought in from the microwave and set it alongside some fresh-cut watermelon.

Adam grinned at me, leaning forward on the couch. "I'll fight you any day about Batman and Superman."

"How can you think Superman is boring?" I asked him, giving him a look like he was out of his mind.

The new Batman movie was paused on the big TV screen in front of us. We hadn't started playing it yet. I'd been over at Adam's place for about twenty minutes, but when I'd heard him say that Superman was boring compared to Batman, I knew I had to have a very serious talk with him.

I popped a piece of cold watermelon in my mouth as Adam formulated his thoughts.

"I just don't know what Superman's actual problems are," Adam finally said. "Batman is so flawed, but Superman is so perfect."

"No way in hell," I said, shaking my head. "First of all, he has just as much childhood trauma. Ripped away from his planet at a young age."

"Not quite as intense as Batman's childhood trauma, but okay," Adam said, and I reached over to playfully shove him.

"Superman's whole appeal is that he feels like an alien," I said. "He is an alien, even if he looks human. I love that his whole story is that he's trying to figure out what it means to feel human. To fit in, even though he's so different. To fall in love."

Adam's face softened, and he considered it. "I've never thought about it quite like that. It's kind of beautiful."

Your face is kind of beautiful, I thought silently. I felt warm inside, being next to him. I loved the way he looked when he was comfortable, and it felt like some sort of small miracle that he actually seemed that comfortable having me here. He was relaxed on the couch, smiling and bantering with me like we'd known each other for years.

Compared to the Adam I'd seen on the first day I met him, this man was a different person entirely.

And I was secretly so fucking glad he'd wanted me to come back over.

"I agree," I said. "It changed how I think about Superman."

Adam got a mischievous look on his face, his eyes crinkling up a little at the edges. "But I still think Batman's a darker, more intriguing character."

"Then I guess we're still in a fight." I shrugged.

"Huge fight."

He took a sip of his beer, a fresh batch of orange summer ale that I'd brought over from Jade Brewery. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, and I couldn't take my eyes away from it.

Even the way he'd opened up the front door when I got here had practically turned me on. His forearms, gripping the door frame.

Or the way he had moved over a little bit to give me room to sit down on the couch, but then had moved back closer toward me once I was sitting down.

Or, really, kind of everything about him, if I was being honest.

"Well, I know the best way to settle a fight," he said.

Before I could answer him or figure out why that had turned me on so much, too, the melodic little ringtone from my video chat app rang out through the room.

I glanced up and saw that the video chat had popped up on the big TV screen. I'd connected my laptop to stream the movie, but now there was a big video image of my brother's face on Adam's TV.

"Oh, God. I am so sorry," I told Adam, reaching over toward my laptop to ignore the call.

"That's okay," Adam said, shifting on the couch. "You can answer. I'll step out if you, uh, need to talk to that guy—"

I realized all at once how it must look to Adam. Jamie's name had a blue heart emoji next to it in the app.

"Oh my God. It's not some hookup," I said. "It's just my brother."

I pressed the button to answer the call and it connected, Jamie's face looking out from my TV screen.

"Hey, Jamie," I said.

"He picked up?" I heard my mom's voice in the background of the call. She appeared on screen a moment later, looking down at the camera. "Oh, hello! Look, Chase is with a very attractive young man. That's a nice couch. Are you in a hotel?"

I felt heat flare through my body.

Holy shit. I'd found my own Kryptonite: a call from my family while Adam was next to me.

"Hello," Adam said, smiling and waving at them.

"Adam, this is my brother Jamie and my mom. This is my friend Adam. I'm at his house, not a hotel."

The word sounded strange on my tongue. Friend? It was what I'd called plenty of my hookups over the years, because it was often true. There was no shame in it. But why did I feel like I would have rather had some other word for Adam?

"Chase, sweetheart, I told Jamie to call you on the video app because you have to see what we dug up tonight," Mom said. She reached over on her dining room table and picked up a shoebox, pulling an old photo out of it. "Look at this."

"You have to hold it up to the camera part, Mom," Jamie said softly, and he repositioned it so I could see.

"Oh my God," I said, the heat in my body intensifying.

It was a photo of me from my early teenage years. I must have been close to starting high school in the photo, and my hair was bright pink.

"That was the first time you dyed your hair," Mom said. "Isn't that adorable, Chasey?"

I glanced over at Adam, feeling pure, white-hot embarrassment for the first time in a long while.

"Is it too late to ask you to go to the other room?" I whispered to him, and a smile spread over his face.

"Not going to happen," he said back.

"What did you say, sweetie?" Mom asked through the video.

"He's saying he's embarrassed," Jamie told her. I could see the shit-eating grin forming on my brother's face. He loved this.

"Oh," my mom said, waving her hand dismissively. "This picture is fucking adorable. Chase, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm sure your friend loves it. Here, look at this one!"

She held up another photo, which must have been from about a year later. I'd come into my own a little more in the next photo, because at least my clothes were a little less baggy and I was smiling less awkwardly.

"It's very adorable," Adam said from beside me. "He must have been a handful."

"He was a nut, and I loved every minute of it," my mom said. "I have a lot more photos where these came from, but this particular box was hidden away in a closet. I haven't seen these in years and years. I'm sorry if I interrupted you two boys, but I had to show Chase."

"Thanks, Mom," I said.

I couldn't even remember the last time I had introduced a guy to my family. Mom and Jamie lived over in California, so the opportunity for them to meet people was already low to begin with.

But I also hadn't had any reason to introduce them to someone. What was I supposed to say, when I never committed to anyone? All the times I'd been with guys only for one night, or maybe a couple of weeks? Hi, Mom, here's a guy who doesn't really give a damn about me, but he likes the way I suck dick?

Not going to happen.

"We should let them go," Jamie said, still suppressing a smile. I knew he was going to talk to me later and give me a good roasting, but for now, he was playing polite.

"Good to see you," Mom said. "And very nice to meet you, Adam. I would talk to you more, but I do have a call with Susan and Jen for my physical therapy consult in five minutes."

"No problem, Mom," I told her, holding up a hand. "I love you."

"I love you so much, Chasey. Bye now, boys. Have fun."

"I'm sure they will," Jamie said, right before he hung up the call.

The call ended and I sunk back onto the couch.

"Adam," I said, grabbing the big plush blanket nearby on the couch and tossing it over my face. "All I ask is that you don't make fun of my thirteen-year-old self."

"That picture, as your mom said, was fucking adorable," he said. He reached for the blanket and pulled it down a little, revealing my face.

He was smiling at me. His eyes looked so kind, so full of affection. I'd always thought he was sexy, but Adam's presence was also so comforting.

Especially right now, when I thought I was about to melt into a puddle of shame on his couch.

"Well, now you know the truth," I told him. "I haven't always been the expert at hair dye application that I am today."

He squeezed my hand. "I loved the pictures. And your mom and brother seem nice, too."

"They're both pretty awesome," I said, dropping the blanket. I squeezed his hand back, not letting him pull it away. "What were you going to say, by the way? Before we were interrupted by my own teenage past, haunting me?"

"I was just going to say that we need to settle our argument the way an elderly married couple would do it," Adam said. "Put it as a vote to all of our friends."

"Is that right?" I asked, sitting up straighter on the couch again. "I don't buy it. No matter what Charlie or Shawn or Nathan think about Superman, I'm still going to love him. Even if it's just because he reminds me of you."

"Reminds you of me?" Adam said, incredulous.

"You totally look like him," I said. "I've thought that since the moment I met you."

"You really are out of your mind."

"Especially when you put on your glasses," I said. "That make you look all smart and sexy and Clark Kent-ish. God, that's fucking hot."

"Good Lord," he said, and I could see the pink slashes forming on his cheeks as he blushed. "I thought you were about to say I'm like an alien. Instead you're complimenting me."

"Sure, maybe you're like an alien. But in a good way," I said. "The best way. Just like Superman. You're smart, sexy, hilarious, charming, kind to everyone…"

"Now I'm the one who needs to hide under that blanket."

"Never," I protested, tossing the blanket away and leaning over Adam's body, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I nuzzled near his neck, pressing kisses onto the spot just above his collarbone before moving up to his lips.

He kissed me back softly, his hands skating toward the small of my back.

"I see how it is," he murmured. "You think you can get out of the superhero argument by kissing me."

I hummed, leaning down to nibble on his earlobe. "Maybe."

He sighed. "It's working."

"Did you shower right before I came over?" I said softly, burying my nose in his lightly scented hair. "God, you smell so good."

"You smell good, too," he said, stroking his fingertips along the small of my back. "You always do, though."

He was holding my gaze, and suddenly my heart felt like it was too big for my chest. I felt like I wanted to fuck him, of course. I always wanted that. But I also wanted… more.

And I didn't know what that more might be.

Now my heart felt like it was pounding like a drum inside me. I leaned back on the couch, sucking in a lungful of air. Another glance at Adam's eyes made me feel like I was only being pulled in deeper. Like some part of me belonged to him, even though I knew that was silly.

I cleared my throat, breaking eye contact before I felt like I was going even crazier.

"We can start up the movie," I said, reaching down to hit play on the stream.

He sat up straighter on the couch. "You all good, Chase?"

"Good," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "I'm good. Going to grab some more beer from the growler."

I grabbed my pint glass and headed into the kitchen. It was a total mess still from the renovations, but I grabbed the jug of beer out of the fridge and put it on one of the work tables nearby.

I leaned over the table, pressing my palms against the surface and taking a slow breath in.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

And what was I afraid of?

I was having an amazing night with Adam. Sure, he'd met my family, and we were about to hang out in a way that didn't involve our cocks being on camera.

But Adam knew me.

He knew that there was never going to be anything between us romantically. Knew that I was about as emotionally unavailable as a disco ball. He wasn't demanding anything more from me than my usual, fuck-around, no-strings-attached self.

But that didn't feel like myself, right now.

Which made me question just about everything I'd built my life around for years and years.

I couldn't let it get to me. Nothing had to be weird if I wasn't weird about it. I poured myself some beer and headed back into the living room, putting on the version of myself that I'd gotten comfortable in.

"Fuck yeah. Let's watch this movie," I said. "By the way, you look really fuckable when you're arguing about superheroes."

He gave me a sweet smile. "You're too nice to me."

Good.

That felt right. Joking around while telling someone how hot they were. If that wasn't my comfort zone, nothing was.

I sat down on the couch and he leaned against me, getting cozy under the blanket as the movie played.

Everything was fine until Adam started snoozing lightly halfway through the movie. He had slumped downward until his head was basically resting in my lap, and my heart started doing funny things again. I loved seeing him sleep, and knowing that he was comfortable enough with me to fall asleep at all. It wasn't about sex or his cock or how fuckable he was, even though he was definitely extremely appealing in every single one of those ways.

It was just him. And me.

And I realized something so simple but so world-shattering, as I gently ran my hand along his hair.

Being with him always felt better than being on my own.

And my heart didn't know what to do with that at all.