Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

VIOLET

T he guys talked tough, but when they had to tackle their wife, daughter, or niece, they became big softies. It didn't make for a competitive game, but it was fun.

I felt like I was a part of their family, even though we were here as guests. Grandpa seemed to be having a good time talking to Al. Both of them had lost their wives, so maybe they found a kinship or at least common ground.

We washed up, then gathered at the large dining room table to eat. Jameson tried to start a gratitude thing at the table, but it quickly dissolved into multiple conversations after Izzy and Faith went. No one seemed to mind.

It was loud. Teasing was encouraged, and the only one who seemed tense was Teddy. I'd overheard some of the brothers' conversation outside. Wes wanted Teddy to make decisions regarding the farm, but Teddy didn't want to discuss it.

I wondered why that was. Did he not want the farm to succeed? Did he feel like his brothers were overstepping?

I'd have to ask Ryder about it another time.

Ryder's phone buzzed. He turned it over. "It's Stacy. She wants to talk to Faith."

"Can it wait until after dinner?" I asked him, not wanting to interrupt the meal.

"I'll see." Ryder pushed away from the table and headed outside. I could see his hunched shoulders as he talked to his ex-wife.

Jameson, who sat on my other side, tipped his head toward Ryder. "What's that about?"

"I think he was hoping she'd call back after dinner."

Jameson shook his head. "Doesn't look like it's going so well."

I glanced outside where Ryder's head hung slightly. "No. It doesn't."

His ex was a part of his life, and he was going to have to learn how to navigate these tension-filled moments, shared holidays, and the distance between their houses.

He came back inside, the phone in his hand at his side. "Faith, you want to say hello to your mother? She has to leave soon to see Phil."

Faith's lips pursed. "Right now?"

Ryder's expression was apologetic. "It's the only time your mother has to talk to you today."

I almost winced at that. Why couldn't her mother work her schedule around her daughter's and not the other way around?

"Ugh. Fine." Stacy threw her napkin down on her chair and took the phone from her father. She slipped into the kitchen. All I heard was, "Mom," before she was too far away to overhear.

"Seriously? She couldn't wait?" Teddy asked, and I sensed that Stacy wasn't loved by the Calloways. It might have been the way she'd blocked them from seeing Faith and Ryder over the years.

"You know how she is. It's her way or no way," Ryder said as he sat down next to me. "I just don't want Faith to get hurt."

I didn't want that either. I'd only known Faith for a short time, but she was bright and inquisitive and just wanted to be loved. Like any child.

"That's fucked up," Teddy said.

Cole looked up from Colson's highchair where he was cutting up meet for his son. "Watch your mouth."

Teddy held up his hand. "I'm sorry. She just pisses me off. She treats you and Faith like puppets, and she pulls all the strings."

Ryder shifted in his chair. "Not anymore."

Teddy leaned in and said quietly, "Is your daughter at this table right now?"

"I've never had to navigate anything like this before. I'm learning as I go."

Wes elbowed Teddy. "In other words, back off, a—" Then broke off when he saw Cole's sharp expression.

"We have kids at the table now, and hopefully many more as the years go on. You boys need to clean up your language," Al said gruffly.

"I'm working on it," Teddy said, and there were quite a few surprised expressions at the table.

Maybe Teddy didn't change for much of anything or anybody. I wondered if that was why he was resisting the improvements the family seemed to want to implement around the farm.

Faith returned and handed her father the phone.

"Everything okay?" Ryder asked her, his shoulders tight.

I wanted to touch his thigh, to soothe him in some way, but we weren't dating. We weren't anything.

Faith shrugged. "She just wanted to tell me she was going to Phil's house."

Every muscle in Ryder's body was pulled taut. He probably didn't want his daughter exposed to someone he didn't know.

"Mom said that I left her alone so she had no choice but to spend it with someone."

Ryder lowered his fork and raised his gaze to Faith. "She said that?"

The table was quiet. "Yeah. Why?"

Ryder sighed. "We'll talk about it later."

Talk eventually started up again, and since Faith was with Izzy on Cole's side of the table, Jameson leaned over to ask Ryder. "You okay with that?"

"I can't believe she blamed her daughter for going out with her boyfriend. And it's not the boyfriend or spending time with him that irks me; it's the manipulation."

Jameson nodded. "That was a guilt trip if ever I've heard one."

Ryder moved his food around his plate. "Maybe she feels like she can convince Faith to tell a judge she wants to be with her rather than me."

"That's messed up," Jameson said.

"Who uses guilt and shame to influence their own child?" I asked, even as I remembered it was similar to how my parents treated me.

"My ex apparently. This coparenting thing is new. We need to learn how to navigate it and not put Faith in the middle."

"You think she'll agree?" Jameson broke off a chunk of a roll, then popped it into his mouth.

Ryder laughed without any humor. "What do you think?"

Jameson chewed, then swallowed. "I think Stacy is a woman used to getting her way."

"How do you think she'll react when she doesn't?" Ryder asked him seriously.

Jameson grimaced. "Like a woman scorned. She's going to lash out and make your life hell."

"I'll do whatever's best for Faith. She's all that matters." Ryder's gaze rested on his daughter who'd already forgotten about the awkward phone call and was giggling about something with Izzy.

I didn't know what it would feel like to love a child, but I guessed it would be this all-consuming love. I would have thought it would be unconditional. But it sounded like Stacy was using her daughter to get what she wanted.

Whereas the divorce prompted Ryder to reevaluate his role of father and to be better. Stacy was doing the same things that landed them in this situation to begin with.

When we finished eating, Daphne served her famous pies with my ice cream, and we all helped to clean up. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun.

After cleanup, I found myself in the kitchen with Daphne, Fiona, and Claire, drinking a glass of wine.

"What's going on with you and Ryder?" Claire asked with a knowing gaze.

"My grandfather lives a few houses down from him. We run into each other in the neighborhood. Then I showed Faith how to create an ice-cream flavor."

"So there's nothing going on?" Fiona asked.

I didn't know Fiona as well as Daphne and Claire, so I didn't feel as comfortable being honest. "We're friends."

Claire's face fell. "I was hoping there was some interest. That you'd be my sister-in-law."

I'd just taken a sip of wine and started coughing.

Daphne slapped my back. "Are you okay?"

When I could breathe again, Fiona handed me a glass of water. "Just went down the wrong pipe."

I sipped the water slowly, hoping they'd forgotten about their line of questioning.

"So…you and Ryder?" Daphne prompted.

"We're just friends. He's going through some stuff." I waved a hand in the direction of the dining-room table, referencing the phone call with Stacy. "And I've sworn off men."

"Why have you sworn off men?" Fiona leaned forward on the stool as if she couldn't wait to hear my juicy history.

"I have a pattern of dating guys who are anticommitment."

Fiona considered it for a few seconds. "Or you're dating the wrong kind of guys."

"Since I can't trust my judgment, I've sworn off dating." For some reason, my vow fell flat in front of these women.

They exchanged a look.

"But what if you meet someone who could be good for you?" Fiona asked.

"I wouldn't even know." I was sitting in a kitchen with a group of women who'd already met their significant others. They had this wistfulness about them, as if they wanted everyone to be as happy as they were. "It's just not the right time. I'm trying to keep the shop afloat. I don't have time for anything serious."

"Ryder's a good guy. When he married Stacy, he really wanted a family. But it didn't work out for him. I'm not sure he's ready for a relationship so soon after his marriage ended. I don't want you to get hurt," Daphne said.

"Trust me; I don't want to be a rebound."

"We weren't surprised when he got engaged to Stacy in college. Then they got pregnant right away. It was everything he'd ever wanted." Fiona swirled the wine in her glass.

Daphne frowned. "But then he only had Faith."

Fiona nodded. "It's none of our business if there were fertility issues or they just decided on one kid, but I think it was more than that. I think the problems started earlier than Ryder's letting on."

I wouldn't hope for something more. It had always gotten me into trouble before.

Ryder walked into the kitchen with a swagger that immediately drew my gaze lower. He braced his hands on the counter, his shirt pushed up to his elbows, revealing sinewy muscles. "George looks tired. I'd better get you home."

I glanced in the living room where George sat in an armchair talking to Al. "That's probably a good idea."

I didn't want to go. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun on a holiday. Then I remembered I hadn't called my family.

I checked my phone to find a missed call from my mother. She was going to be upset that I hadn't answered. But for once, I'd been too busy to even think about what I was missing out on in Florida.

When we said our goodbyes, I wondered if the rest of the family thought we were just friends. Neighbors who had nowhere to go on the holiday.

None of Ryder's brothers had teased him about what I was doing at the dinner table, and after watching his family interact, that's what I would have expected.

Maybe the girls were seeing something that wasn't there. Ryder hadn't given me any indication that he was interested in a relationship. And given what he was going through, I wouldn't expect it. He needed to focus on his daughter, and I needed to keep my attention on the shop.

We got into the truck, and Al came out to see us off. It was nice and gave me the warm and fuzzies inside. "Your family's great."

Ryder shot me an amused glance. "I think they're overbearing and opinionated."

I laughed. "They obviously care about you."

"I don't know what I would have done without them. I'm just thankful this transfer at work brought me closer to them."

What if he'd been transferred farther away from Faith and his family? That would have been awful for him.

Ryder went to my house first since him and George lived on the same street. He left the truck idling as he walked me to the door.

I was very conscious that my grandfather and Faith were inside the truck and most likely watching.

"Thank you for inviting us. I had a great time."

He moved so that his shoulders blocked my view of his truck. "Better than eating at a restaurant?"

"You know it was." My heart picked up its pace, and before I could stop myself, my hand drifted to his cheek, and I lifted on my toes to kiss it.

To hide my reaction to the feel of his scruff under my lips, I turned and fumbled with my keys. He easily took them from me, inserted my house key, and turned it in the lock. Then he handed them back to me.

"Thanks again for a wonderful night." It was the wine that had my cheeks flushing and my skin overheating. It had nothing to do with the intimacy of Ryder walking me to my door and waiting for me to go inside safely.

"You're welcome. Happy Thanksgiving."

"You too." I shut the door softly behind me, waiting for the sound of his truck as it backed out of my driveway.

I let out the breath I'd been holding. I liked Ryder Calloway. The single father, the recent divorcé. There was the technicality where he wasn't divorced yet. Why was I such a mess when it came to my love life?

I shouldn't want him. Even if he was interested in me, it would be a rebound. He wasn't ready to be serious with anyone. Unless he was looking for a distraction.

My skin heated at the thought. I wanted to be that distraction. I knew it would feel so good. That I'd get lost in the moment, in his touch, his mouth, the heat I saw in his eyes. But at the end of the day, he wasn't good for me. We didn't want the same things.

I was attracted to unavailable men, and Ryder matched the definition.

I wouldn't make the same mistake I always did by assuming he was the one for me. The red flags were there to see. This time, I was going to be smart.

I got ready for bed, then dialed my mother, resigning myself to the guilt trip.

"Violet. Why didn't you call me back earlier?"

I bit my lip. "I was busy."

"I thought you and Dad were going out to eat."

I cleared my throat. "We were invited to a friend's house."

"Oh? Who's this friend?"

"It's actually Grandpa's neighbor, Ryder. His family owns a Christmas tree farm."

"Oh, Violet. You're not dating again, are you?"

Something about her tone rubbed me the wrong way. "What's wrong with me dating?"

"It's just that— You know how you are. I thought you were taking a break from all of that."

"From what? Dating? Relationships? Love?"

"Yes."

"Ryder is Grandpa's neighbor. He's getting divorced and he has a daughter."

Mom groaned.

"I'm not dating him." I hadn't even kissed the guy. The fantasies that came to mind when I was home alone in bed did not equate to dating

Mom sighed. "I'm worried about you. You moved so far away."

"I live close to Grandpa. I'm not alone."

"I wish you'd move back home where we can keep an eye on you."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't need my mother keeping an eye on me. I'm not a kid anymore."

"You don't always make the best decisions."

Her words were cutting me to the core tonight. "Did you have a good holiday?"

"Your sister brought her boyfriend to dinner. He's a doctor. An anesthesiologist."

"That's great." Mom never talked about my boyfriends with the same reverence. But then again, I never brought guys home. They'd never measure up to what she expected from my sister. I was a letdown in every way that mattered.

Then Mom launched into Creighton's list of accomplishments; I tuned her out. I wasn't a doctor and wouldn't be marrying one any time soon. I'd never measure up in my family. It was best that I'd moved away where I could be satisfied with being my ordinary self.

These conversations usually turned into some rendition of Why can't you be more like your sister? In other words, smart, disciplined, and determined.

"I'm glad you had a good time. But I'd better get off. I'm tired." I feigned a yawn.

"It is late. I'll let you go."

And just when I thought I'd gotten off easily, she added, "If the shop goes under, you can always come home."

My heart pounded, but I refused to take the bait.

"You're coming home for Christmas? Since you missed Thanksgiving."

"I don't know if I can leave the shop for that long."

"It's closed on Christmas, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but not the days around it."

"Close the shop and come home. It's only for a few days."

She wouldn't tell Danielle to stop being a doctor or not to go to work because what she did was important. The implication was that mine wasn't. "I can't close the store because I want to take a vacation. It's way too soon."

"Don't you have employees to oversee things?"

"I do, but that's a long time to leave it in their hands. I'll let you know." I got off the phone, then called my best friend, Luna, from Florida.

"Violet! I missed you."

"I missed you too." I'd been so busy with the store, I hadn't had a chance to talk to her other than the occasional text.

Luna sighed. "Did you just get off the phone with your mother?"

"How did you know?"

"You always want to talk afterward. Was she being her usual supportive self?" I detected sarcasm in her tone.

"She wanted to let me know that I can always come home when the shop goes under. In Florida, she can keep an eye on me."

Luna sucked in a breath. "I hate that for you. You need to put up some boundaries."

"How do I do that?" I couldn't control the words that came out of my mother's mouth.

"For one, don't talk to her."

"Are you serious?" I'd limited my calls, but to not talk to her at all seemed cruel.

"Can you say her words don't affect you?"

When I checked in with my gut, it was churning. "No."

"Then you shouldn't talk to her. It's not good for you."

"She told me how Danielle is dating a doctor."

Luna snorted. "Who cares?"

"Right?" I said, letting my head fall back.

"Are you ready for a visitor soon?"

"I'd love that."

"I'll text you when I have flight information."

She was the only one I missed from Florida. Knowing she was planning to visit took the edge off my talk with Mom.