9. Jesse

9

JESSE

How the fuck had we gotten here?

I'd come to Envy to get out of my head for a while. To try and forget about Sebastian and how messed up I'd been since that day at his cabin.

But of course he was here, looking like a snack in one of those damn tank tops that showed off his tats and a pair of dark jeans that hung low on his slender hips.

Seeing him dance with those two randoms had pissed me off more than I'd ever admit. I couldn't pinpoint exactly why, either. Maybe it was because he'd invaded my safe space. Envy was where I came when I needed to escape. To get lost in the crowds and the music and just be anonymous.

But he'd ruined that, and now all I could think about was finishing what we'd started at the bar and erasing the memories of those twinks he'd danced with.

Jesus, he was a good dancer. It shouldn't be a surprise, considering he was a singer and musician, but seeing him sway along to the music, his sinuous body catching the beat and moving in ways that should come with a warning label, had done things to me they had no business doing.

Sebastian tightened his grip on my hand and pulled me into the little hallway that led to the back rooms. We bypassed the first one, which was filled with couches and tables and used when people wanted a break from the noise and slipped into the one way in the back.

This room was used for different reasons.

The black walls and sparse overhead lighting created just enough light so you could walk around without worrying about where you were going. Staggered wall sconces illuminated small swaths, creating a spotlight effect under them.

The room wasn't busy, but the muted sounds of pleasure greeted us when the heavy door banged shut. Couples, triads, and a few groups were clustered around the room in various stages of foreplay and fucking. All doing their own thing and either enjoying the cover of darkness or having fun under one of the wall sconces and giving everyone a show.

I'd heard tons of stories about this room from Ez and Wes, but in all the times I'd come to Envy, I'd never been back here.

Exhibitionism wasn't my thing. I didn't get off on the idea of people watching me, and I wasn't into watching others unless it was porn.

Even when we'd been in the woods, it wasn't the possibility of being caught that had gotten me hot. It was more that we'd gotten away with something when dozens of our school friends had been on the other side of the tree line, completely oblivious.

Was Sebastian into exhibitionism? I glanced at him as he paused, coming to a stop a few feet inside the room, his eyes darting around. Had he been back here before?

Not wanting to think too hard about what we were doing or who he might have done this with, I tugged on his hand and led him over to the back corner, away from the bulk of the crowd. The overhead light was burned out, and the area was devoid of any other lighting, making it the darkest part of the room.

It was about as private as we could get, considering where we were.

Sebastian let me shove him against the wall and crowd him against it, one of my hands on either side of his head.

"So you got me back here." He glanced around nervously. "Now what are you going to do with me?"

I couldn't stop the slow smile from spreading over my lips. "What do you want me to do to you?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, like he hadn't been expecting that answer.

Hard and angry was our thing. It was hot as fuck, but I was in a mood and feeling a bit reckless. Time to flip the script and blow his mind, among other things.

I put my lips next to his ear. "You want my mouth? See how long you can last when it's me on my knees for you?"

He let out a breathy little groan. "Goddamn you, Miller."

"What?" I pulled one hand from the wall and palmed his cock. He was as hard as I was. "Tell me to stop and this ends now."

"You don't want to stop either," he groused, pressing into my touch.

"Nope. Not until I win."

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, a niggle of awareness pulling my focus from Sebastian's flushed cheeks and angry eyes.

"What?" he asked, noticing my distraction.

"Nothing." I flipped our positions so I was the one against the wall and he was in front of me. "But let's keep you facing this way. Don't want any of your lookie-loos interrupting us."

His expression clouded over with confusion, then melted into suspicion before settling on begrudging. "Thanks."

"Now." I pinned him with a look. "Are you going to be a good boy for me and let me suck your dick?"

His glare made me laugh, which only made him glare harder.

"Asshole," he muttered.

"Hands on the wall," I said cheerfully, my voice low so only he could hear me.

He hesitated but did as I said.

"Good boy."

"You'd better cut that shit out, or I might forget to watch my teeth when it's my turn."

"Don't threaten me with a good time." I sank into a crouch and nudged his hips back so I wasn't crushed against the wall and had enough room to get my mouth on him. "I like when it hurts a bit."

"Now who's the freak?"

"Takes one to know one." I pressed my finger against the buckle of his studded belt, then trailed it down his fly. His cock pulsed under the gentle touch. "I'm not the one with a ring through my sac," I reminded him.

That piercing had occupied my thoughts since I'd felt it. I couldn't really wrap my head around wanting to puncture a hole in my sac, but I couldn't deny the little metal ring was hot as hell.

So was knowing I was the only one here who knew about it.

I'd always been a greedy bastard when it came to people's attention. I liked recognition and praise, not because I thought I was entitled to it or because it validated me or anything. More because it fed the part of me that had spent my childhood feeling invisible and like the only way anyone would ever love or pay attention to me was if I was the best at something.

Like I had to earn their attention and prove I was worthy of it.

It was why I'd studied my ass off to get straight As, even though I'd decided to become a mechanic when I was sixteen. The same reason I'd put so much time and energy into baseball when I had no plans to play after high school.

Being the best didn't make me feel like I was better than others; it made me feel equal. And having someone's entire focus on me was one of the few times I felt seen.

And for some reason, I really loved it when that attention came from Sebastian.

Time to be the best mouth he'd ever experienced and blow his fucking mind.

"This is so weird." He stared down at me and shifted his hips back to give me more room, his hands on the wall creating a little cave of sorts around me, making things feel even more private.

"Weirder than when you did this in the woods?" I dragged the leather of his belt free of the buckle.

"There's a lot more talking and thinking about things this time," he pointed out.

"True." I flicked the pin of the buckle open. "You still have time to bail."

"And give you that to hold over my head? Not a chance," he scoffed.

Taking my time, I finished undoing his belt and let it fall open, the metal clinking softly.

"Are you sure you don't want to bail?" I tugged the button of his fly open.

"What are you playing at?" he hissed, but he didn't sound angry. More frustrated.

"Nothing." Gripping the slider of his zipper, I dragged it down, the metal teeth unclasping one by one and the V of his fly widening with each passing second.

"This isn't…"

"Isn't what?" Looking up at him, I tugged the V open even wider.

"This isn't what we do," he finished lamely.

"Nope." I lowered my gaze to his exposed underwear. The silky baby-blue briefs weren't what I was expecting. My own dick throbbed at the little wet patch on the shiny material. "Are you going to keep questioning my every move, or are you going to let me suck your dick?"

"Get on with it," he grumbled.

Chuckling, I leaned in and flicked my tongue over his wet spot, teasing his tip at the same time.

He sucked in a breath and held it, his stomach muscles tight under his tank top.

Taking my time, I tugged his briefs down until his cock sprang free, nearly slapping me in the face as it bobbed between us.

"Fuck," he muttered. "Jess…"

Tucking his underwear under his balls, I dipped my head so I could finally see his piercing.

The tiny silver ring with a little ball bearing in it was right under his shaft in the center of his sac. I'd Googled it after that night in the woods, but an internet search couldn't compare to the real thing.

"Freak." I tapped the ring and looked up at him to gauge his reaction.

Even in the darkness and the little cave of his arms, I could clearly see the heat in his eyes.

A lascivious grin slid over his lips. "You like it."

"Shut up." Dipping my head, I lifted his shaft out of the way and fit my mouth over the piercing.

Sebastian groaned and pressed against me, forcing my tongue against the ring.

I watched in rapt fascination as his lips parted and his cheeks flushed, his breaths coming out in little gasps the more I tongued and sucked on the ring.

"Jesus," he groaned.

Releasing him, I grinned obnoxiously. "Nope. I know I'm good, but my name is pronounced Jesse."

"Asshole." He wiggled his hips. "Either do something about this or fuck off."

"Do you give up?" I circled my hand around his thick shaft with another stupid grin.

"No," he said with a sigh. "Just…please."

His quiet plea knocked something loose inside me, and the smile fell from my face.

I'd started this to tease him and hopefully piss him off. I figured he'd get angry and start another fight or give up and hand me my victory.

I hadn't expected either of us to like it.

Not ready to examine anything that had happened in the last twenty minutes, I drew Sebastian's broad cockhead into my mouth.

His taste exploded on my tongue, dark and heady, with a hint of something wild. I didn't bother suppressing my groan, knowing the vibrations would feel amazing for him.

His muffled cry confirmed he liked it.

Using my tongue to tease the underside of his length, I slowly moved over him, taking about half of him into my mouth and stroking the other half with my hand.

He was big, bigger than anyone I'd been with. His girth stretched my lips and made my jaw twinge as I tried to find a way to take more of him. I had good control over my gag reflex but refused to embarrass myself by rushing and choking on his monstrous dick.

"Oh fuck," he mumbled. "That's… Jess."

The sound of my nickname in that thready, wrecked voice cut through the last of my reservations, and I opened my throat, taking a little more of him until my lips nearly pressed against his skin.

"Holy shit," he panted. "That's so hot. No one's ever…"

I pulled off him, moving at a leisurely pace until he fell from my lips.

"What's that?" I asked innocently, trying to cover up the little rush of pride at his words. No one had ever what? Taken that much of him, made him feel that good?

He pulled one hand off the wall and grabbed the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair and twisting them to hold on.

An involuntary moan fell from my lips. Goddamn it.

He grinned, his expression dark and primal. "You look good down there." He tugged on my hair, forcing me to angle my face up a bit. "You want me to tell you how amazing you feel? How no one's ever taken that much of me before? How much I want to fuck your face until you choke, then come down your throat and fucking claim you?" His eyes blazed.

I could only stare up at him, my mind spinning and my body tight.

"Yeah, you do." He bumped his cockhead against my lips. "Open up and make it good, otherwise this pretty mouth is mine to use however I please."

I parted my lips for him and stuck out my tongue. I wanted that, and I was too far gone to fight it.

With a low groan, he slid his shaft over my tongue and between my lips.

Not ready to concede, I lifted my eyes to his and locked our gazes together. Then I resumed sucking him, pulling out my best moves and making sure to keep eye contact with him.

Seeing his pleasure like this, knowing I was getting him off, was almost as sexy as having his dick in my mouth. I wasn't one of those guys who loved sucking cock. I enjoyed it and had no issues doing it for my partners, but I didn't love it like a lot of guys.

But I loved doing it for Sebastian. Every glide of his shaft over my tongue, every little twinge of my jaw or pull on my lips layered on top of each other, creating the most incredible sensations that were making it hard to think straight.

Sebastian wasn't doing much better. His thighs shook, his stomach trembled, and his pleasure was written all over his face as I moved over him, using my hands on his balls and his shaft and stroking his thighs, stomach, and chest.

I couldn't stop touching him, couldn't look away from the weird little mind meld we'd fallen into.

I could feel his pleasure like it was my own, and my eyes almost rolled back when his did.

"Fuck, Jess." He panted desperately. "Harder. Yeah, that's it." His grunt sent a shockwave of need through me. "Little more. Just like that."

I let him guide me, using his commands and pleasure sounds to tailor each suck of my mouth and stroke of my hand so it was exactly what he needed.

"Fuck." His voice was hoarse and broken, his eyes wild and a little shocked under the blazing need. "I'm coming."

He let go of my hair and shifted back a bit. Grabbing his hip with one hand, I held him in place and fumbled with the other until I found his piercing and gently tugged on it.

He came with a strangled cry, emptying down my throat and muttering curses into the dark.

I swallowed every drop, keeping with him until he pulled out of my mouth with a lewd pop and fell from my lips.

"Holy fucking shit." He sort of fell against the wall, holding himself up with both hands again.

Carefully, I slid up the wall until I was standing, our faces so close I couldn't fully make out his features.

"Good?" I asked casually, feeling absurdly proud of myself.

He glared at me, but the effect was ruined by his glassy eyes and ruddy cheeks. "Turn around."

"What?"

He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around. My chest and forearms hit the wall with a hollow thunk .

"How are you so strong when you're so scrawny?" I complained to cover up my shock at how easily he'd manhandled me.

He pressed up against my back, his lips next to my ear. His low chuckle was as irritating as it was exciting. "You weren't calling me scrawny in front of my cabin."

"I was going easy on you," I groused, pressing my hands against the wall to ground myself.

"Sure you were." He nipped my ear. "Now, are you going to be a good boy and let me have my turn?"

"Call me a good boy one more time," I hissed. "I dare you."

"Or what?" He kicked my legs further apart. "What's my good boy going to do?"

My growl wasn't much of an answer, but it was all that came out.

The role reversal was bending my brain a bit, but I was too turned on to fight it. My dick was so hard it ached, my balls practically throbbing with need.

"That's what I thought." Reaching around me, he undid my belt, then opened my fly.

I pulled in a hissing breath when he slipped his hand into my briefs and pulled out my dick.

"So hard." He stroked me once. "So big." Another tug. "Move your hips back a bit."

Rather than be contrary, I obeyed, my brain buzzing with anticipation and my body tight with expectation.

I had no fucking clue what he was planning, but I wanted it.

"How adventurous are you feeling?" he asked, his voice losing some of the hard edge from before.

"What do you mean?"

He dipped his fingers into the back of my jeans, just far enough to rub the top of my crease. "I won't pull them down. No one else is seeing this perfect ass. Not before I do."

"Yeah, fuck. Do it." I couldn't be assed to care about how desperate I sounded. I needed to come.

Another of those possessive growls rumbled out from deep in his chest, and he jammed his hand down the back of my pants.

I bit my lip to stifle my moan as he fit his fingers in my crease and found my hole.

"That's it." He pressed his body against mine and grasped my cock with his free hand.

"Ungh." My moan was embarrassingly loud as he circled my hole and gave me a few hard strokes.

His hand disappeared from my ass. What the fuck? Was he leaving me hanging after getting me all riled up?

The sound of him spitting, and another rough tug on my dick, calmed my anger. His hand slid under my jeans and underwear again, his fingertips slick as he sought out my hole and circled it.

"My turn to mark you." He fit his mouth over my neck and sucked hard at the same moment he dipped his finger into me and sped up his strokes on my dick.

The mix of sensations was too much, and my brain blinked off as instinct took over.

Shamelessly, I rocked my hips, dragging my cock through his fist and forcing his finger to slip deeper inside me. His low chuckle fanned over my neck as he sucked on my skin. Heat bloomed under his mouth as he gave me a hickey in the same place as the one I'd given him.

Sebastian pushed his finger a little deeper and twisted his hand. The pressure on my prostate sent a zing of liquid fire through me. I clenched around him.

"Fuck, Bas. More. I need…" I wiggled back against him.

He obliged and rubbed my prostate, adding a little twist to his other hand that stimulated my cockhead in the most incredible way.

"Fuck." I bit down on my lip as my orgasm hit, slamming into me and nearly knocking me senseless as I sagged against the wall.

Sebastian's hand disappeared from my ass. But instead of leaving me to struggle, he wrapped his arm around my waist, helping me find my balance and holding me not just tight, but close.

I leaned back against him, too spent to care about anything other than riding out the last of the pleasure.

I expected him to make a crack about how quickly he'd gotten me off, but he just held me, giving me a chance to get my head back in order.

"You good?" he asked softly a few moments later.

"Yeah."

He let me go and stepped back. I focused on putting my dick away and doing up my pants. I felt a bit bad about leaving a mess on the wall, but tried not to think too closely about how that wasn't exactly uncommon in here.

When my clothes were back in order, I turned to face him.

"So, did I win?" he asked with a smirk.

I huffed out a laugh. "Not sure. I'd say we both won."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Let's call it a draw."

A bright flash from our left momentarily blinded me. What the fuck?

Cameras weren't allowed in the back room. Who the fuck was taking pictures in here, and who were they taking them of?

Footsteps pounded against the floor, and someone rushed past us.

The sound of a body hitting another was immediately followed by Sebastian's loud "Fuck!"

Still blind from the flash, I felt more than saw Sebastian tipping to the side as someone barreled right into him. Instinctively, I grabbed his arm.

We teetered for a moment, but I managed to throw my weight backward and change his momentum.

That caused him to crash into me, and we slammed into the wall.

"Motherfucker," Sebastian growled. "Not you," he added preemptively, sensing that I'd thought that was directed at me.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked as we struggled to stand up straight, both of us overcorrecting so we were essentially canceling out what the other was doing and ended up flailing.

"Some asshole took a pic of us." He gripped my shoulders and held tight. "Stay still for a damn second."

I did, and we finally untangled ourselves from each other and stood up straight.

"Are you sure it was of us?" I looked around the room to see everyone else's reaction.

Most of the crowd was on the far side of the room, but the low murmur of voices and buzz of angry energy told me we weren't the only ones who'd noticed the intrusion.

"Fucker was three feet away from us. You see anyone else he could have been trying to snap a pic of?"

Shit. He sounded panicked.

"Hey." I gripped his arms and gave him a little shake, forcing him to look at me. "Even if it was someone trying to get a shot of you, there's no way they did."

"What?" He blinked at me, some of his anger fading.

"They were behind you. Only my face was visible."

"Are you sure?" He chewed on the corner of his lip. "I can't be outed like this."

The panic in his voice was understandable. I'd been outed in high school, and it had been horrible. I couldn't even fathom being in the public eye and my sexuality out there for anyone to look up and gossip about.

Not thinking too much about what I was doing, I pulled him closer to me. "Keep your face turned to the wall. We'll give everyone a few minutes to get back to what they were doing, and we'll slip out."

"What if he's out there waiting for me? I can't have pictures of me coming out of the back room at a gay club on the internet. I can't."

I rubbed his arms. He was moving past panicked and getting close to hyperventilating. "That's not going to happen."

"But what if it does?"

"It won't." I pulled him against me and wrapped my arms around him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, loosely holding onto my hips.

"Comforting you." I held him a bit tighter. "Now get your head out of your ass and relax."

"This is so weird." He snaked his arms around my waist and hugged me back.

"Yeah, but these are extraordinary circumstances. Don't get used to it."

He snort-laughed, already sounding more like his annoying self. "Yeah, that's not something you need to worry about."

"Okay. This is the plan." I put my mouth next to his ear. "I'll leave first and wait around until everyone near the door has left, then text you when it's all clear."

"What if they don't leave?"

"I'll make them."

He fisted his hands in my shirt. "Okay."

"Just keep your head down and don't stop until you're outside. I'll follow you to your car to make sure no one is hanging around or snapping pics of you. Okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks." He pressed his face into my neck and breathed deep.

The contact felt nice.

"You good?" I said, my voice a bit gruff.

"Yeah." He drew in another deep breath, then let go of me on his exhale and stepped back.

"Ready?"

"Wait." He pulled out his phone. "You don't have my number."

"Yeah, I do."

"No, you don't." He unlocked it, the screen bright, even in night mode. "That's my other cell."

"You have more than one cell?"

"Yeah. One for work shit and one that's just for friends and family." He opened a new contact and typed on the screen.

"Which number do I have?"

"My work one." He finished typing and handed me the phone. "Put your number in and text yourself."

"Which number does Adam have?" I took the phone. "Seriously?" I asked when I saw the name he'd programmed in. "Jesus?"

"Don't feel too bad. Everyone in that phone is under a fake name. And Adam has my real cell."

"It's weird that you and my little brother are so close." I typed in my number and saved it. "Why is everyone in here under a fake name?"

"It's even weirder that my little sister is basically your little sister. And it's just a precaution in case someone sees my contact list."

"You know that won't actually stop someone if they want to know who you're texting. They just have to look up the number." I sent myself a text.

"I know that, smartass. But it helps if some lookie-loo is peeping over my shoulder or sneaks a look when my back is turned. If someone steals it, then it doesn't matter what security I have. They can access everything."

I was paranoid about my phone, but that was because I was a cheap bastard and hated the environmental impact and human suffering from mining electronic parts and refused to replace any sort of tech until it was unusable. I couldn't imagine having to worry about people stealing it or trying to sneak peeks to get access to my private info and possibly make it public.

"How do you keep your nudes safe?" I asked as he slipped his phone back in his pocket.

"I don't keep any on it. It's safer not to."

The mention of things being not safe reminded me that we were in the middle of a situation and this wasn't the time to chat about random stuff.

"You good?" I asked, looking around the dark room. A few people had come in and out while we'd been talking, but no one had come near us or was paying us any attention. "I think it's safe."

"Yeah." He cracked his knuckles. "Thanks for this."

"Don't mention it. This?—"

"Never happened." He smirked. "I know."

Not sure what to say, I patted him awkwardly on the shoulder and slipped out from between him and the wall. He stayed exactly where he was, facing the corner like some sort of ghost or paranormal creature from a horror movie.

No one paid me any attention as I slipped out of the back room. The hall was filled with people, but not many were just hanging around. The bathrooms and the other back room were just down the hall, and an emergency exit was at the other end, just past where I'd come out.

As casually as I could, I leaned against the wall across from the door and pulled out my phone so I could pretend to look at it while I scoped out the area.

No one was acting weird or seemed to be paying the back room any attention. A few guys lingered nearby, sticking around longer than anyone else in my vicinity, but even they moved on after a few minutes.

Hopefully that asshole had run all the way home, only to find that his pic was of yours truly and not Sebastian.

Jesus : all clear

The door banged open a moment later, and Sebastian slipped out.

Making sure I stayed far enough behind him so it wouldn't look suspicious, I stayed on his six as he made a beeline down the hallway and out into the club.

He kept his head down and his pace quick as he weaved through the crowd with such ease I almost lost sight of him. No one paid him any attention, and no one followed us. Not that I could see.

Keeping close, we left the club and headed down the street. Two blocks later, he stopped at his car, the lights flashing as he unlocked it with his key fob.

Without looking around, he got in, cranked the engine, and pulled away from the curb.

I watched him disappear down the road.

What the fuck had just happened?

I'd come to Envy to escape him, and not only had we gotten each other off again, but we'd done it in public where anyone could have seen us.

And we'd had a weird moment again where things hadn't been terrible.

He was still annoying as fuck, but after seeing some of the shit he went through on the daily, maybe some of his attitude was warranted.

Shaking off those thoughts, I spun on my heel and headed back down the street toward my car.

He might not be the worst, but that didn't change anything. We were bad news, and we'd always be bad news.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and checked my notifications.

Unknown : thanks

I quickly made a contact listing for Bas's number.

Yeah. I needed to stay the hell away from him before shit got any weirder.