8. Sebastian

8

SEBASTIAN

The flashing lights and pounding bass were comforting. So were the relative darkness and anonymity that Envy offered.

There were two LGBT+ clubs in town—Envy and Chimera. Both were only open on the weekends, and they catered to two very different crowds.

Chimera was the club you went to when you were looking for a classy night out and wanted to enjoy theme nights and watch top-shelf go-go dancers.

Envy was where you went when you were looking for a little hedonism to go with your dance music. The club was famous for its large back room and lax rules when it came to nudity or getting your sexy on.

Hopefully I could disappear into the crowd and have a night off. Just be out among people and get my mind off all the crap that was going on in my life.

Work was great, but it also sucked. Ben was awesome, and I was learning a ton from him, but the rest of the guys at the shop were still salty about all the interruptions and hordes of people looking for autographs or selfies.

I couldn't even call them fans. Most had probably never even listened to any of my songs, or if they had, they hadn't listened to more than what they flipped through on our social media channels.

They wanted selfies and autographs because it was something they could post for likes. They didn't need to enjoy my music to use my fame for clout. The same as everyone at Ben's party hadn't given a shit about my music or my work. They only cared about hearing good stories and living vicariously through me.

That was what made everything that much more annoying. Fans were amazing. They were the reason I'd had a career, and I'd always be grateful for their support over the years.

People who just wanted to rub elbows with someone famous annoyed the hell out of me, but after six years in the biz, I was used to it.

I stupidly thought that shit would be over now that I was supposed to be enjoying my retirement.

It would fade soon enough. People would lose interest and I'd be yesterday's news.

I couldn't fucking wait.

That was why I'd come to Envy tonight.

Hopefully the low lights and the unspoken rule that "what happens in the back rooms stays in the back rooms" would help me stay anonymous so I could have a night out and not have to worry about who might recognize me.

And so I could stop thinking about Jesse and what happened at the party. And in front of my cabin.

This thing between us was over. I'd won, and we had no reason to ever be alone with each other again. Ben wouldn't think twice if I declined his next party invite, and the only time I'd have to be in the same vicinity as him was if we had some sort of family event or if our siblings somehow wrangled us into the same place.

I'd spent the week reminding myself of that, but I was in such a bad headspace it hadn't helped.

I needed to forget about him. To erase the memories of how he felt, his taste, and how he looked when he came down my throat.

To do that, I needed to replace them with someone else.

It'd been over six months since I'd had sex and well over a year since I'd fucked a guy. I was hung up on Jesse because he was the only person I'd hooked up with in so long. That was it.

I just needed to find another dick to play with so I could move on and get back to hating him.

Scanning the crowd, I walked the perimeter of the dance floor, taking in the club's atmosphere.

I'd never been here, but Ezra had told me about it at the party before Jesse had shown up. He'd also mentioned how he and his men enjoyed playing together in the back room.

I'd been to clubs all over the world and was quite familiar with back rooms. I'd never messed around in one, but that was mostly because I hadn't wanted to risk being outed, not because I had anything against public play.

I didn't think I was into exhibitionism, not really. The idea of people watching me didn't get me hot. Maybe because I'd spent my life performing on stage and was used to having people watch my every move?

But something about messing around outdoors with Jesse had gotten me hot. Maybe it was being out in the open and exposed that had done it. The possibility of being watched over actually having an audience. After playing by the rules and doing everything right for so long, it was fun to say fuck it and not give a shit about anything except slaking a need.

Or maybe it was because we'd been outside. I loved the woods and always felt more settled and at ease when I was surrounded by nature than when I was in big cities. Maybe that had unlocked some primal part of me that enjoyed rolling around in the dirt or getting my sexy on surrounded by trees.

Some of the men around me were definitely exhibitionists.

Ez had said that it was normal for people to get things started on the dance floor, and he hadn't been wrong.

This also wasn't that unusual for me. This kind of stuff was strange in the US, but not so much abroad. I'd never been in an exclusively gay space where people were getting their sexy on in front of others, but I'd been in a few bi ones, so these weren't the first public BJs or handies I'd seen.

They were the first ones where I didn't have to pretend like seeing it didn't get me a little hot and bothered.

Again, it wasn't so much the public part I liked. More the freedom the place offered where men could do this sort of thing without having to worry about being harassed or worse.

The place was packed, which was exactly what I'd hoped. No one was paying me any attention beyond quickly checking me out, and for the first time in years, I felt like Sebastian Lake, a regular twenty-something looking to have some fun and not like the lead vocalist of Vessel who had to worry about who might be watching him.

A lithe guy in a tiny white crop top and bright yellow booty shorts sidled up to me.

I swept my gaze up his tight body. He wasn't my usual type, but he was cute, with messy blond curls and a bright smile. I usually went for bigger guys, but I wasn't against having some fun with twinks when the opportunity arose.

"Hi," he shouted, leaning in so I could hear him over the music.

"Hi."

"Having fun?" he asked, moving his hips in a seductive circle, catching the beat of the song.

"Yeah. Are you?"

"It would be better if you danced with me."

Chuckling at his boldness, I slipped my hands in my pockets and played hard to get. "It would?"

"Definitely." He put his finger against the corner of his lip and bit down on it as he swept his gaze up and down my body. "But I have to tell you something first."

"What's that?"

"This is only an invite for dancing. My boyfriend likes to watch me get my dance on with other guys, but we don't share."

"Is he gonna beat my ass if he doesn't like how I touch you?"

He giggled like that was the funniest thing anyone had ever said. "No, silly. Just don't try to kiss me or grab my junk, and you're safe."

I should tell him no. Dancing with a taken guy was exactly the kind of no-strings-attached fun I was looking for, but boyfriend drama wasn't.

"Where's your man?" I asked.

He looked to our left and pointed to a guy about a dozen paces away. "Right there."

The guy toasted us with his drink. He didn't seem like he'd be much of a threat, and I wasn't worried about them trying to roll me in the middle of the club.

"Sure, why not?"

The guy beamed at me. "What's your name?" he asked, grabbing my hand so he could tug me onto the dance floor.

"Bas," I said, letting him pull me to a stop when we found an empty space big enough for us to dance in. "What's yours?"

"Jevan." He draped his arms over my neck and pressed closer.

The song booming over the loudspeakers was an old disco tune that had been heavily remixed. Not the best song for dancing, and definitely not what I'd play if I were in charge of the music, but not terrible.

Letting go of all the crap that had been weighing me down, I focused on the music, taking in the upbeat track and allowing it to take over.

Jevan was a great dancer, and I could feel my stress melting away with every swirl of his hips and press of his body against mine.

The song ended, and another started. This one was a dance remix of "Riot" by Three Days Grace.

My mood picked up even more. I loved this song and had been a fan of Three Days Grace since I'd discovered them in middle school.

Jevan spun around in my arms and ground his ass against my dick. I slid my arm around his chest and locked him against me. He let his head fall back on my shoulder.

"You're good at this," he half-shouted over the music.

"You are too." I flicked my gaze to his boyfriend, who was watching us with heated eyes.

Looked like Jevan was in for a good night when we were done.

A prickle of awareness drew my attention from Jevan's man to a group of men to the right of him.

My eyes collided with a familiar pair of blue ones.

My good mood faded in an instant.

What the fuck was Jesse doing here?

He was obviously getting his dance on since he was currently wrapped around a slender redhead wearing painted-on skinny jeans and not much else.

Tearing my eyes from Jesse and his dance partner, I focused my attention on Jevan. But the moment was gone. Not even the music could help me get back into the mood.

When the song was done, Jevan turned to face me. "Thanks for the dances."

"Have a good evening."

"I plan to." He grinned and spun on his heel, then weaved through the crowd to get to his boyfriend.

I was about to leave the dance floor when another guy stepped into Jevan's empty place.

He didn't say anything, just hooked his finger in the waistband of my jeans and stepped closer.

Again, he wasn't my type, but he was cute and had dark hair and a long, lean body.

A quick glance at Jesse confirmed he was still dancing with his redhead.

Not thinking too hard about why I was accepting his silent invitation, I let him press up against me and drape his arms over my neck.

He was slick with sweat and smelled like vodka, but he was a decent dancer and didn't seem all that inclined to chat.

The current song wasn't my type of music, but the upbeat tempo and sugar pop lyrics made it easy to dance to.

I tried to keep my focus on the guy I was dancing with, but I couldn't stop my gaze from searching Jesse out every time the song switched between the refrain and the verses.

I shouldn't be surprised that Jesse was beauty in motion when he danced. I'd seen him play sports over the years, and he had an innate grace about him that made pretty much everything he did look effortless.

I'd never admit this to anyone, but I'd watched most of Jesse's baseball games in school. My excuse had been that we had mutual friends who went to his home games, so it wasn't weird if I went too. I'd told myself it was so I could see him fuck up in real time, but as a star player, Jesse rarely fucked up.

My dance partner did a move where he dropped down low, then popped his ass and dragged it up my body as he stood back up, angled away from me so the only points connecting us were his ass against my crotch.

Circling my hands around his hips, I let him grind against me and stole a quick glance at Jesse.

He was glaring at me, his mouth in a tight line as he dragged his dance partner closer and wrapped his arms around him.

I looked away. What did I care who Jesse danced with? We were nothing to each other.

Anger crept into my confusion. Why did he have to be here tonight of all nights? This was supposed to be my chance to forget about him, not ogle him while he got his freak on with some twink.

The corner of Jesse's mouth curled up in a smirk, like he knew his presence was fucking up my mood.

I narrowed my eyes. Two could play this game. If he wanted to ruin my night, I could ruin his.

Not taking my eyes off him, I ran my hands over my dance partner's chest, then pantomimed dragging my nails down his front the way I'd scratched Jesse's back the other night.

His eyes flared with something I couldn't place, and his jaw worked as he ground his teeth together.

Giving him a little grin, I pressed my nose against my dance partner's neck. I didn't breathe in or kiss it or anything. Just held there and kept my eyes locked on Jesse to piss him off.

He gripped his partner's hips and dragged him closer, bending him over at the waist so he was the one mimicking some doggy-style fucking.

Heat prickled at my chest and neck, uncomfortable and annoying, as he shot me one of his trademark smirk-smiles.

My partner leaned back against me and gripped the sides of my jeans.

Keeping my gaze locked on Jesse, I slid my hand up my partner's body and gently rested it just under his throat.

Jesse's eyes flared again, his expression an intoxicating mix of a smolder and some epic resting bitch face that was strangely hot.

Nothing about what we were doing should be hot. Dancing with other guys, basically using them as props to piss each other off, was a dick move.

And I didn't even know why we were playing this stupid game instead of ignoring each other. It was like my common sense flew right out the window any time he was in my vicinity.

The song ended, the notes fading out and replaced with new ones.

I didn't even pay attention to the transition and instead stepped away from my dance partner, putting some space between us.

He spun around, a hungry look on his face.

"Back room?" he asked breathlessly.

I shook my head. "Thanks for the dance."

He shrugged and wandered away, not all that broken up by my rejection.

Jesse and his dance partner were also standing still, their heads bent together as they talked about something.

Probably discussing having some fun in the back room.

Whatever. He was free to do whatever, or whoever, he wanted.

My good mood was gone, and I doubted I'd be able to get it back while Jesse was here being a giant fun-sucker and sucking all the fun out of the room.

I'd grab a drink to cool off, then leave.

This was a stupid idea anyway. Picking up guys at clubs was something other people did.

Trying not to let my anger show, I stalked over to the bar and squeezed into an empty space between two couples.

"What can I get ya?" a bartender asked, practically materializing in front of me.

"Root beer, please."

"Driving?" he asked.

I nodded.

He made my drink and put it on the bar top.

"How much?" I asked, pulling my wallet out of my back pocket.

"No charge." He winked and moved down the bar.

"Don't read into it," Jesse said, coming up behind me. "They give free soda to all the DDs."

I turned to face him and sipped my drink, the cool liquid soothing my scratchy throat. "Is that so?"

"Yup."

"Good to know." I swirled the contents of my drink around, the ice cubes clinking softly in the glass. "Where's your date?"

Why had I asked that? I didn't give a fuck where his boy toy was.

"What date?" he smiled obnoxiously. "This is Envy. You don't bring dates here."

"Fine. Where's your flavor of the night?"

"Who the fuck knows."

The couple next to me moved away from the bar, leaving an open space. Jesse slid into it and crossed his big arms over his chest as he mirrored my pose.

"Where's yours?" he asked.

"Don't know, don't care." I gulped down some of my soda, ignoring the burn from the carbonation.

"Why are you here?"

"Why wouldn't I be here?" I shot back.

"This just doesn't seem like your scene."

"It's not." I shrugged and scanned the room, more so I wouldn't have to look at Jesse than because I was interested in our surroundings. "But this is what people do, right? Go out and have fun?"

"You're grouchy for an ambivert." His voice hitched on the last word, and he cleared his throat.

Without thinking, I extended my drink to him.

"Are you offering or showing?" he asked dubiously.

"Offering."

After a pause, he took the glass, his fingers brushing mine.

The flickers of electricity from the contact were as unnerving as they were unwelcome.

I glanced at him as he lifted the drink to his lips, my eyes drawn to how his throat worked as he swallowed.

I ripped my gaze from his throat before he could catch me creeping on him.

"Thanks." He handed the drink back to me.

I took it with a sound that could have meant anything.

"I didn't realize this was your kind of place," I said, not sure why I was keeping the conversation going.

"It's not. Not usually." A pause. "It's been a weird week."

"That it has." I took a few more swallows of my drink and passed it to him.

Wordlessly, he took it and downed all but the last sip.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically when he handed it back. "Couldn't finish the job?"

"We both know I don't have any trouble with that."

"Neither do I." I shot back the last of the soda. "In fact, I'm really good at making you finish first."

"That's only because you cheated."

"You cheated the time before."

"I did?" He turned to face me for the first time since our conversation started.

"When you tackled me after it was already over."

"It wasn't over." He smirked in that obnoxious way that made me want to shove a handful of ice cubes from my drink down the back of his shirt. "You got distracted, and I took advantage of that."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"I have two brothers," he said casually, like that explained everything. "I'm a pro at grappling."

"Is it that? Or is the extra twenty pounds you have on me?."

"Jealous?"

I scowled at him. He grinned wider.

"You're annoying."

"So are you." He paused. "Did you come here to hook up?"

"Why?"

"Just curious."

"Isn't that why anyone comes here?" I flicked my gaze to him. He was watching me intently.

"Usually."

"Did you come here to hook up?" I asked after a few beats of silence.

The thought of him with someone else pissed me off, and I had no clue why.

Rather than unpack it, I glared at him.

"Isn't that why anyone comes here?" he echoed my words, his eyes glittering with silent laughter.

"So why are you bothering me and not finding a boy toy?"

"Not looking for a boy toy."

I paused. I'd never seen Jesse with a guy other than the asshat he'd danced with. Was that his type?

"No one here doing it for you?" I asked sullenly.

"Nah." He leaned back against the bar. "What about you? Why aren't you getting your dance on? You didn't have any trouble before." He ticked his chin at where Jevan and his man were making out next to a bar table. "You missed your opportunity with that one."

"No big." I didn't bother telling him I'd danced with Jevan knowing nothing would come of it. "Plenty more fish in the sea and all that jazz."

A guy who looked a hell of a lot like Jesse but with two full sleeves of tats and a nose ring stepped in front of me, his eyes roving up and down my body.

"Hey." He tilted his head to the side. "You look familiar."

Shit.

It was entirely possible he was mistaking me for some random person who looked vaguely like me, but it was also possible that he recognized me.

"I do?" I asked casually.

"Yeah." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Have you heard of a band called Vessel? You look exactly like their lead singer."

Well, shit. He did recognize me.

"Never heard of them." I shook the ice in the empty glass I was still clutching.

"Are you sure? I swear you could be twins." He pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Can I get a pic? I need to post this and tag him."

Jesse slid his arm over my shoulder. "He's taken," he said gruffly.

The guy widened his eyes and quickly pocketed his phone. "I wasn't… I didn't mean to. I was just…sorry." He stepped back and darted away.

"Thanks," I said grudgingly.

"No prob." He leaned a bit heavier on me.

"Are you done using me as an armrest?"

"Depends. Are you done needing me to save your ass?"

I didn't need to look at him to know he was smirking.

"Fuck off."

It wasn't the most creative comeback, but he wasn't wrong. He'd saved me in the woods when he intercepted McKenna, and he'd done it again just now with that random.

I hated that I needed him to step in and save me at all. It gave him an advantage and something he could hold over me.

"Do you really want that?" He tugged me closer to him, tucking me up at his side like we were prom dates. "Who knows who else might mistake you for that guy."

Every muscle in my body went taut, and my nerves crackled to life. His tone was teasing, but there was an edge under it I couldn't place.

"Seems like you need me to protect you," he continued, his voice conversational.

Would it be too childish to stomp on his foot? Probably.

"My hero," I gritted out.

He put his lips next to my ear. "Relax. You look like you're about to kick me in the shins and run away."

"I was actually contemplating stomping on your foot and running away." I forced my muscles to relax and leaned into him. "This is so weird."

"You've had my dick in your mouth, and you think having my arm around you is weird?" He chuckled.

"You're enjoying this way too much."

"Maybe." He pressed his palm against my chest and lightly rubbed it in slow circles. "It's fun making you squirm."

"And what if I want to make you squirm?" I asked innocently, shifting closer to him.

His low chuckle was as hot as it was annoying.

Not bothering to look around to see if anyone was paying attention to us, I slipped my arm behind him and squeezed his ass.

Fucker had a nice one. Big and full and round. Not quite a bubble butt, but close enough to put my own flat ass to shame.

The groan he let out went right to my dick. I'd been rocking a semi since our weird stare down on the dance floor, and my cock went to fully hard in about two seconds flat.

Whatever. He'd started it.

Feeling greedy, I did it again.

He pulled me in front of him, settling me so my back was against his chest, my ass nestled against his crotch. His arm was still over my shoulder in a proprietary hold, his palm pressed tight against my pec.

This time I reached back with both hands and cupped the full globes of his ass.

"You like this." I squeezed hard, kneading his flesh in my hands.

"So what if I do?" He rocked his hips and dragged his cock against my ass.

"You'd look good bent over and ready for me." I massaged his ass, my grip way harder than I'd use with anyone else.

His little grunt was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.

"Now that would be a sight to behold. You all spread out and begging me to fuck you."

He huffed out a laugh, his hot breath tickling my ear and sending a full-body shiver through me.

He wasn't the only one whose ears were a hotspot.

"Trust me when I say you're the one who'd be begging me," he drawled.

"Dream on." I suppressed another shiver of arousal. Why was his cocky attitude so hot? I hated arrogance, and it was usually the best way to make me shut down and disengage, but not when it came out of Jesse's mouth, apparently.

"Let's go."

"Huh?" I asked, his resigned tone knocking me free from my thoughts.

"Either get your ass into the back room so we can finish this or walk away. Otherwise I'm gonna pull your dick out right here and give everyone a show."

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him to go to hell and leave him hanging, but I couldn't make myself say it.

One more time. Just to get whatever this was out of our systems.

"Fine." I released his ass. "Let's go."

He froze, like he hadn't expected me to agree.

I gave him a moment to collect his thoughts. Would he back out? That would be the ultimate victory.

"Last chance to stop this," he said in my ear, his voice breathy.

"Asshole." I shivered. "You did that on purpose."

"Maybe." He pulled his arm from my shoulders. "Lead the way."

Before I could think about what I was doing, I grabbed his hand and took off toward the back of the club.

This was a stupid and dangerous game we were playing, but I was finding it hard to care.

I'd care later when the dust settled. But right now, all I could think about was getting Jesse in the back room and shutting him up with my cock.