Chapter 16

16

ADAZE

A daze sped her car down the empty road that led further from the park and towards town. She hoped she wouldn't get pulled over. While she wasn't driving recklessly, she was still significantly over the speed limit.

Her heart pounded in her throat with every mile. Her eyes burned with tears she refused to shed.

She couldn't believe Leilani had betrayed her like that. She felt so alone. Emotion bubbled inside her with nowhere to go.

She needed to get far away to somewhere she would have room to let her fear bubble out where no one could see.

She wanted to scream.

To cry.

To shout and throw a fit.

It wasn't fair that Veronica could just come in and tear down everything she'd started to build with Leilani. All she wanted was a chance to have a happy relationship, but she couldn't even have that.

She couldn't stop picturing the two of them together. She wondered if Veronica would run her fingers through Leilani's hair the way she did.

She imagined the two of them, going off into the forest alone. Unlike her, Veronica had always been outdoorsy. She loved hiking and camping and all of that stuff Leilani always wanted to do.

Maybe she would be happier with someone who would actually want to do those things with her. Adaze hadn't even wanted to go on this stupid hike. She only agreed to come because she thought she should make more of an effort to be involved in these parts of Leilani's life. She didn't like waiting at home for her all day.

So she said she'd come.

And yeah, part of her knew it was irrational.

In the back of her mind, there was a little voice that knew it wasn't Lelani's fault; she hadn't really done anything wrong.

But it was so hard to hear that voice over her heart pounding in her ears.

She didn't know what got into her. The second she saw Veronica, it was like she was hurled back in time. At that moment, it felt inevitable that Leilani would betray her if she hadn't already. It just felt like a statement of fact.

The only thing Adaze could do was get away before the worst happened, leaving her broken beyond repair.

She didn't think she could take going through something like that again.

No, it was better to just get away while she can.

Sure in her decision, she picked up speed, rapidly approaching the city limits.

She had enough money to do anything she wanted, go anywhere she wanted. There was no reason she couldn't just sell the penthouse and start over somewhere else.

She'd give Diana a call once she found a town she thought looked nice. The assistant could take care of finishing up her affairs here.

She might not want to move, but that could be okay.

Her work could be done remotely, after all.

Her thought spiral was cut off by her phone ringing.

Adaze's heart caught in her throat. Had Leilani reached out for her? Maybe she was upset about how fast she left and wanted to make sure she was alright. Did she want to try and fix things?

Then she saw Veronica's name flashing on the screen and it was like a bucket of cold water had been poured on her.

She hesitated a moment. She didn't want to talk to her. Hell, she could have gone the rest of her life without ever seeing her again and it would have been too soon.

But she needed to know what was happening.

Maybe Leilani needed to call her and she borrowed Veronica's phone. It would be strange, but she couldn't help but hope.

She hit the button to answer before she could overthink it, but once she had, she couldn't bring herself to speak.

"Adaze, are you there?" Veronica asked after a moment. She didn't sound the way she did in her memories. There was none of the grand vibrato she was used to. Her voice was small, quiet. If Adaze didn't know better, she'd almost say it sounded like she had been crying recently.

Shaking the thought from her head, she found her voice. Yet even as she spoke, the words stuck in her throat like they were coated in a thick glue. "Yeah. I'm here. What do you want?"

There was another pause. "Th-that's a fair question. I don't really know actually. To apologize, I guess."

"Seriously?" she scoffed. "For what?"

"Everything?"

"So this won't take long then?"

Veronica let out a strange laugh. "Let's just stick to what's most relevant then. I didn't know Leilani was dating you or I would have stayed away, but I can promise you, nothing happened between us."

"Why would I believe a promise from you?" she snapped.

"That's fair. I'm sorry."

"I know nothing happened between you. Leilani isn't that kind of person. She wouldn't do something like that."

"No, she wouldn't. You're a good person. Don't let me be the one to ruin what you two have. She seems like the kind of woman you could really build a life with."

"I know. I want to."

"Then do it. Don't let me ruin this for you. You deserve to be happy."

"Why are you saying any of this now?"

"I don't know. I think it's because of Leilani. I've wanted to for a while, but I told myself you were strong. I told myself you would be fine without me. That you were better off, if anything."

"I wasn't."

"I know."

"What you did, it hurt me a lot. I haven't even tried dating since—since what happened. I just couldn't bring myself to."

"I'm sorry. I should have just told you how I was feeling and walked away. It would have been better for both of us."

Adaze took a deep breath, refusing to acknowledge the tears running down her cheeks. "I think I need some time to think."

"I understand. I'll let you know if Leilani leaves the park, but I won't stop her. Otherwise, you know where you need to go."

"If she leaves, will you try and find out where she's going, maybe shoot me a quick message?"

"Yeah, sure, I can do that."

"Thank you," she said. It felt wrong to thank the woman who broke her heart.

"I don't think you need to thank me." Veronica gave a strange laugh, brimming with emotions. "I, uh, I don't know how to end this call. I think you need to hang up first."

"Right. I can do that."

Then Adaze hung up the phone, a sob bubbling up in her throat. She didn't want to leave Leilani, not like this, but she just hurt so much.

It felt like her heart was dissolving into acid in her chest. It flooded her stomach, making herself sick.

Turning the car around made her hands tremble, but she forced herself to do it. The closer she got, the sicker she felt.

She wished with every fiber of her being she could go back to this morning before everything went wrong.

Her mind drifted back to the way they woke up together that morning . Everything seemed so perfect when the light streamed in between the bamboo blinds. The pair were curled in Leilani's bed, cocooned in her various quilts and blankets. Leilani never seemed to be warm enough, but Adaze was all but sweating under all the warmth, not that she'd rather be anywhere else. At some point during the night, Jaspurr had joined them, of course, forcing his small, furry body between them where he purred loudly. Leilani was still sound asleep when Adaze woke up.

Leilani snored softly, head pillowed against Adaze's shoulder. Adaze smiled to herself, running a hand through her hair, still tangled from their activities the night before.

It wasn't until she leaned in for a kiss that Leilani woke.

Leilani hummed against her lips. "What a great way to wake up."

"I know," Adaze agreed, pulling her closer. "I could get used to this."

"I think I might already be used to this."

"Good, I want you to get used to it."

"It's almost a shame we have that hike later today. I can think of so many things I want to do with you right here."

"So can I. Too bad we've got people who will be waiting for us."

"So, what do you want to do until we need to go?"

"I can think of a few things."

Leilani giggled as Adaze leaned in to bring their lips together uniting them in a heavy kiss. Needless to say, the pair didn't make it out of bed for quite some time.

Finally, she pulled into the parking lot. Veronica was still there when she pulled in. The sight of her made her want to be sick, but she needed to do this.

For Leilani.

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself out of her car.

"She hasn't come out of the forest yet. Her friends went in after her," Veronica said. "I'll leave you on your own from here."

Adaze didn't say a word as she left, leaving her alone with nothing to do but wait for Leilani to make her way out of the trees.