Chapter 18

If I thought seeingCasey at school was uncomfortable after the breakup, that was nothing compared to how it’s been since we met up Saturday. I feel like such an idiot… When Cam came to pick me up and I told him everything, I immediately heard how it had to have sounded to her. I don’t think that could have gone much worse if I tried…

He’s been trying to make me feel better, but it doesn’t help much. The corners of my mouth lift slightly as I think about his lips on my shoulder, his hands running down my sides as he distracts me… I glance to the back of Casey’s head three rows up, which hasn’t turned to look my way all through our English teacher’s lecture on The Great Gatsby, as if the symbolism behind the color of a light is the most fascinating thing she’s ever heard.

Ringing fills the air, and before it’s even over Casey’s binder is shoved into her bag and she’s halfway to the door of the classroom. Sighing, I pack up my supplies and follow the rest of my classmates out the door and into the crowded hallway. The passing period between lunches is always a little more hectic, with some kids starving and rushing for the cafeteria and others hoping to catch teachers with empty classrooms so they can ask a question without a class full of kids for an audience.

I fall somewhere in the middle, my desire to get to the glass doors of the cafeteria quickly fueled more by the need to claim our usual table than any urgency to go get the last serving of chicken nuggets. We like to sit at the table near a huge tiled column in the middle of the room, for no particular reason other than it’s the place we sat the first week of freshman year and it’s just kind of stuck.

It’s me, Cam, some of our teammates like Jenson are regular features and others rotate in and out depending on space and the day. Beth and Casey used to split their time fifty-fifty between sitting with us and sitting with their cheer friends in the back corner, but the cheerleaders have pretty much had full custody for the last month or so. I’m not so sure I want to hear what’s being said at that table today…

As I approach the tiled column I see that Cam is already sitting on the far side. We’re the first ones to the cafeteria today, and I take advantage of this as I slip into the seat next to him, sitting just too close so my hand can brush against his without raising suspicion.

“Hey there,” I grin.

“Hey yourself,” he reaches his free hand for the juice bottle on the table and spins it in place. “How was English?”

“Riveting,” I roll my eyes and he laughs.

My hand drifts closer to his thigh and begins to tug idly at the bottom of Cam’s shirt, the backs of my fingers just barely drifting against his stomach. His breath catches for only a moment, nearly undetectable really, and a smile crawls across my lips.

“Wanna drop Beth off at my place after school?” I murmur. “We could go back to your place, and… study?”

“Bad idea,” he huffs a laugh. “Dad’s been asking a lot of questions… I think his lawyer senses are tingling.”

“Hm,” I pout. “Okay, so, my place then? We could put on a movie upstairs?”

“Sounds great,” he grins, reaching for a bag of chips in his lunch as our friends join us at the table.

I release his shirt, settling back into my seat and listening to Jenson’s rant about economics as I start on my own lunch.

The rest of the day passes in a blur, anticipation building in my chest and flooding my legs with energy as I try to make it through my last classes. My foot is tapping against the linoleum as I sit in math, staring at the clock and willing it to go faster. My pencil and book are already stowed in my backpack, and the second the bell starts ringing I’m out of my chair and heading for the classroom door before the teacher has even finished giving out the homework assignment.

When I reach the hallway where Beth’s history class is I linger, knowing it’s her last class of the day. Sure enough I see her hair bobbing my way, the large white bow she’s clipped to the right side of her head reflecting the bright fluorescent lights above as she gets closer to me. She barely spares me a glance as I fall into step beside her, which only makes me want to bug her more.

“Hey little sister,” I lean closer to her as we walk. “Were you a good girl at school today?”

“You’re an idiot,” she rolls her eyes.

“You look twelve,” I retort, flicking the edge of her bow.

“It’s cute!” she gasps out, glaring at me and holding her chin higher.

“Sure,” I shrug, grinning and looking straight forward. “If you’re auditioning for Shirley Temple.”

I nearly eat tile when she shoves her size four foot in front of mine, tripping me up. Luck alone allows me to catch myself, scrambling to catch up with her where she’s continued on without me.

“That wasn’t very nice,” I frown.

“I’m not very nice.”

My jaw drops at her retort, and I fall behind again as she reaches Camden at the door in front of the gym.

“Hey y’all,” he greets, holding the door open for both of us.

“Thanks Cam,” she smiles sweetly at him. “Do you like my hair?”

“Yeah,” he looks at her, tilting his head as we walk as if really considering his answer. “I like the bow. It’s really cute.”

“Thank you.” Her eyes cut to me, tongue sticking out before she turns back to the front and nearly skips the rest of the way to the truck.

Cam chuckles as she hops into the cab, pausing to toss his heavy bag into the bed of the truck. When he looks at me across the bed of the truck, his eyes are sparkling.

“Do I even want to know?” he asks.

“Sisters,” I shake my head, and he laughs as we get into the cab.

Attitude forgotten for the moment, Beth chats happily away as Cam pulls out of his parking spot and heads towards the highway. By the time we reach our neighborhood I know more about the social gossip of the freshman class than I ever wanted, and I nearly jump out of Glory before she’s even fully stopped at the curb in front of our house.

“Do you guys wanna watch a movie?” Beth asks as she follows us inside, dropping her backpack on the bench in front of the door.

“No,” I keep my bag with me. “We have to do some homework.”

“Okay, but do you want to watch a movie first?”

“Nah,” I look meaningfully towards Cam. “We’ll just put something on in my room while we work.”

“Okay,” she drags out the last sound, fidgeting with the sleeve of her shirt. “So do you want to watch a movie up on your tv?”

“No!” I say, sharper than I mean to.

“Fine!” Beth huffs, throwing her hands out to the side and stomping to the kitchen muttering under her breath.

“Come on,” Cam takes my hand with a grin, leading me towards the stairs. “Let’s go… study.”

We take them in double time, eating up the distance between the living room and the privacy of my bedroom as quickly as possible. When the door has shut behind us I throw my bag into the corner, and Cam lets his slip off of his shoulder to the ground before he wraps a strong arm around my waist and leans over to kiss me. My hands fist into his shirt, pulling him closer as my lips turn up against his.

“Hey there,” I smile.

“Hi,” Cam rests his forehead against mine. “Movie?”

“Right,” I turn. “Movie…”

Grabbing the remote, I raise it level with the sensor and turn on the tv. Whatever movie was in there last night starts playing, and I throw the remote dramatically over my shoulder when I turn to face Cam. He’s sitting on the long edge of my bed, cheeks pink and eyes sparkling as he watches me.

His eyes track my every move as I take the three steps closer to him and join him on the mattress. Like magnets we’re drawn together, his fingers tangling in mine and our shoulders bumping as we close the distance between us and our lips find contact again. The kiss is slow, but I’m in no hurry to make any changes. A hand trails up my back, curves around my shoulder, and finally winds itself into the curls at the nape of my neck.

My hands grip the front of Camden’s t-shirt, and a noise of satisfaction escapes me as I tug him closer. It’s all lazy pressure, unhurried, exploring every tilt of our lips as we are drawn into each other. He whispers my name as he breaks away from my lips, peppering my cheekbones and jawline with featherlight kisses that have me closing my eyes. My breath hitches, my legs fidgeting with the urge to change position and get closer to my boyfriend.

It’s so quiet, the only sounds our uneven breathing underscored by the murmur of the tv in the background. I register pounding steps on the stairs, and break our connection to tilt my head towards the door. Cam pulls his head up, registering the sound a moment after I do. We break apart with a start as we hear a hand on the doorknob, flying to opposite ends of the bed. I wind an arm around the bedpost, trying for a casual pose as Beth opens the door. She pokes her head in, eyes darting to the tv and back to my face.

“Did you eat my yogurt?”

“What?” I blink.

“My yogurt, did you eat it? I want a snack.”

“No, I didn’t eat your yogurt! Go away.”

“What are you watching?” She leans against the doorframe.

“Something you’ll hate,” I stand, crossing to the door. “Now leave!”

“Hey!” Beth frowns, backing into the hallway. “Don’t be such a jerk!”

“Bye!”

With a quick push the door shuts between us, and I quickly turn the lock into place. On the other side of the barrier I hear Beth growl, then the loud thwack of the palm of her hand against the smooth wood, and she stomps away. My cheeks are pink when I turn back to Camden, who is grinning as he lounges across the head of my bed.

“That was close,” he reaches a hand towards me.

“You are so lucky you’re an only child,” I murmur as I take the invitation, crossing the space in two quick steps and coming to a stop at the edge of the mattress.

“Nah, Beth’s great,” Cam pulls me towards him. “Almost as nice as her brother.”

“I’m nice?” I ask airily, breathing coming harder as my boyfriend’s nose traces a path up my neck.

“Very nice,” the words are whispered against my lips, stolen away by the kiss that follows.

It’s never felt like this, another person’s lips on mine. The rough scratch of the hair on his chin where it catches against the smooth skin of mine, adding friction in the most perfect of ways. His strong hands on me, holding me close, making me feel protected and desired and so… warm.

“I take it back,” I grin, tracing a finger along his jaw. “I’m starting to get the fuss about kissing.”

“I’ve got no complaints,” Cam smiles, turning his jaw to kiss the palm of my hand before he leans down and rests his forehead on my shoulder.

I shiver as his warm breath puffs over my skin, exposed by the loose collar of my shirt. Putting pressure on one arm, he slides the other up my side and along my arm until he’s holding my hand, spreading electricity as he goes. I feel like I’m barely breathing as I stroke the arm he’s holding himself with, turning to kiss his shoulder since it’s within reach, when suddenly the quiet is broken by pounding feet on the landing.

“I can’t find my yogurt,” Beth calls, rapping her knuckles against the wood.

“Did you look in the fridge?” my lips mouth against Cam’s shoulder through his t-shirt.

“Yes, obviously,” the door creaks as she leans against it, and I can almost imagine her staring at her nails as she speaks. “But I didn’t see it in there. Are you sure you didn’t eat it?”

“Bethany!” I grip Cam’s arm when his lips come to rest on my neck. “Just eat something else!”

“I want my yogurt,” she whines. “I meant to take it for lunch but I forgot it, so I want to eat it now!”

“Just go-” my back arches and a hiss slips between my teeth when his teeth draw against my throat, tongue trailing behind.

“Did you look behind that fruit you pack?” Cam calls, turning his head slightly so his words aren’t muffled before kissing a trail up to my jaw.

“No,” the door creaks again as she stands straight. “I’ll go check,”

“Please,” I whisper, whether to Beth or to Cam I can’t be sure as his lips claim mine once more.

His lips are soft, full, and yet firm as they press against mine. There’s the bumping of teeth for a moment until we adjust to each other’s movements, ebbing and flowing like one wave across the Galveston Bay instead of tugging on two ends of a rope. The wave breaks, his jaw clenching tightly as he pulls back. Our hot air mixes, pressing between us like there isn’t enough to go around, but I’m not pulling away.

“How did you get so good at this?” I ask breathlessly, resting my nose against his as we catch our breath.

“I’ve thought about it,” he grins. “A lot.”

“This feels… I mean, it’s just… Yeah.”

“I’m glad,” he murmurs, catching my lips once more when I crunch my abs to pull closer to him.

Camden’s body is pressed to mine along the bed, my legs splayed on either side of his. He rests on one knee to keep the worst of his weight off of me, but it’s comforting on my chest where we press together tightly, like he might float away if I let him go. This is that scene in the movie where the music plays and the camera pans off, and when Cam’s tongue slides across my lips I open them eagerly.

He groans into my mouth, and a sound I hate to think of as a whimper meets it there. My breathing has picked up, and nothing exists outside of this moment… Until I hear my little sister bang on the door again.

“I found the yogurt!” Beth calls.

“Great,” I bite out, my tone sharp. “I am so glad!”

“Me too,” she says cheerily, ignoring me completely. “Turns out it was in the fridge the whole time. I guess I pushed it behind the raspberries when I packed my lunch. Isn’t that funny?”

“Hysterical,” Cam grins, almost predatory, before his mouth drops to my collarbone and his strong hands squeeze my hips.

“Go away, Beth!” I growl, eyes flying into the headboard as I stifle the gasp trying to escape as his teeth scratch against my sensitive skin.

“I don’t know why you’re so mean,” she huffs, stomping down the hall and slamming her bedroom door.

Cam nips, squeezing again, and I growl as I hitch my legs around his hips, intertwining our fingers together, and flex my core with a twist to flip him beneath me. He laughs when I pull away from him, pouting playfully and laying back against the pillow until I lean forward and suck his bottom lip.

The sound he releases into my mouth should be illegal. He pushes forward and I sit back to accommodate, and now we’re sitting upright with my legs locked at the small of his back. My hands slip out of his, sliding up his arms to palm the back of his neck and his head. One of his hands presses firmly into the small of my back, while the other drifts lazily into my curls.

As if by some unspoken agreement our lips slow, pressing into each other with intent as my hand drifts from his head back to his broad shoulders. We barely come up for air, grabbing quick breaths then sinking back into each other, and I really really get the point of kissing…

Distantly, a door shuts with some force, and Mom’s voice carries up the stairs and through the door.

“Boys!” she calls. “Come help me with these groceries, please!”

I groan, my forehead falling forward to rest on Cam’s chest as it shakes beneath me. He sits up, bringing me with him, and wraps his arms around my waist.

“We’ll be right there, Mrs. Graves!” he calls over my shoulder, dropping to press one last kiss just above the collar of my shirt. “Come on,” he chuckles. “Before she comes up here.”

“It’s like they’re doing it on purpose,” I grumble, pressing one more kiss to my boyfriend’s lips before I crawl off of him and tug my shoes on where they’ve fallen next to the bed.

“Nah,” he reaches for the bedside table, pausing the movie I’ve honestly forgotten was playing. “It’d be so much worse if they knew.”

“I guess,” I huff, rubbing my hands over my cheeks. “I just wish we could get in a little more time together when we can be… I don’t know, us. You know?”

“I know,” he reaches out to mess up my hair, grinning at the sharp look I shoot his way. “Me too.”

“Maybe we could, like,” I shrug, tucking my thumbs into my pockets. “Go on a date, somewhere?”

“Like out in public?” Cam raises an eyebrow.

“Yes,” I feel heat rush to my cheeks. “In public.”

“I’d love that.” Cam’s eyes sparkle as he steps into his shoes, nudging me with his hip as he passes me to open the door and jog down the stairs.

I love you.

I shake my head, grinning, and take a second to relax my shoulders before heading downstairs to help Cam and Mom get the bags out of her car. When everything is inside and placed in the pantry or refrigerator, Cam gets his backpack from my room and we sit at the kitchen island to actually work on homework. Every once in a while his heel tilts sideways from where his foot rests on the bar of the stool, bumping against mine with the slightest pressure, and I can’t keep the smile from the corner of my mouth.

Thankfully Camden was paying attention when Ms. Kopek gave his class the homework assignment, so he’s able to help me get mine done as well. We’re just wrapping up the last question when Mom comes into the kitchen to get started on dinner.

“Are you staying for supper, Camden?”

“No, ma’am,” he smiles at her. “Thank you, but I should get home.”

“Alright,” she rubs his shoulder on her way to the pantry, pulling supplies as she speaks. “Well you be safe driving home! Tell your dad we said hi, okay?”

“Yes ma’am,” he slips his textbook into his bag as I hop off the stool to join him. “I will. Goodnight!”

I follow him into the living room, where he pauses to call goodnight to Beth where she’s pouting on the couch. We walk outside and down the path to the curb where Glory is parked. Cam tilts his head to the left, and we continue walking around to the driver’s side door where we’re afforded some measure of privacy from the windows on the front of my house. Conscious of the neighbors across the street, I step close beside him and hook our pinkies together.

“Thanks for coming over,” I look at our hands. “I had a good time.”

“Me too,” he laughs, swinging them slightly. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” I tilt my head up to look into his eyes.

“Goodnight, El.”

He grins at the pleased flush of my cheeks, leaning in quickly to kiss the tip of my nose before he steps away and opens the door. Stepping into the cab, he pulls the door shut behind him. The metal thuds dully as I pat it on my way around the front of the truck, stepping back onto the sidewalk and turning to face him as he starts the truck.

I raise my hand in a wave, watching him pull away down the street. My arms cross over my chest, the warmth inside feeling like I might start glowing as three words echo over and over in my head, fighting to get out.

I love you.