Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

DALLAS

Dallas heard from Kylen three times since running into Flora's mom at the park. He knew that some shit had gone down with Kylen's family and that he was getting his granny moved into a care facility. Frey filled him in on a few of the details and said that Kylen wanted to come to a dad meetup soon.

Dallas wanted that. But he also didn't. A part of him wanted to keep Kylen for himself because he rarely had things that were just his. But he knew that was just him being selfish. And maybe a little possessive.

Still, he didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it. The school year was in full swing, and he was busy planning their first performance—a little play he'd written over the summer about a butterfly and a bear becoming best friends. They also had their first field trip coming up. And he'd finally gotten a date to meet with his lawyer.

The lawyer thing was throwing him more than anything else. He was starting to become paranoid that Katie was going to find out and somehow disappear with Audra before he had time to amend the custody arrangement. He was terrified she still had access to his emails, so he made a new, separate account to talk to the law office staff, but that didn't stop the nightmares.

They were enough that he was getting shit for sleep, and he was struggling to keep his composure and his temper in class.

The day before the meeting was when the real panic set in, and he nearly fell apart at Frey's house as they sat around having pizza while the kids watched the newest Disney movie about the fire girl and the water guy.

It was cute, and he probably would have been all over it if it wasn't for his knee-trembling panic at being told he had no chance of winning against his ex.

"Alright," Adele said after twenty minutes of weird silence. "Spill."

Dallas rubbed his hands over his face. "I meet with the lawyer tomorrow. I feel like I'm going to fuck it up somehow." He picked at his thumbnail. "Anyone else free to go with me just to make sure I cover all my bases?"

The looks of regret on all their faces had his heart sinking to his feet.

"I'm so sorry, babes. I have work," Frey said.

"Massive wedding job," Lane added.

Adele shrugged. "Tomorrow starts my twenty-four, and Gage is watching Briar because Bowen has reshoots all week."

Dallas understood. He really did. If they ever needed him during the day, they'd be shit out of luck because he couldn't just call out. But that didn't stop him from feeling very, very alone.

"You're going to be fine," Lane told him. "I know it's a lot, but you'll relax once you realize they're on your side."

Dallas wanted to believe him. Really, he did. But he didn't have the best luck, and he was afraid to get his hopes up. All he wanted was more time with his daughter. He wanted his fair share of time with her. He wanted to be her dad—to be present and to love her enough that she never doubted it for a second.

"And if things go badly," Frey said, "fire the lawyer and get another one. We've got your back, my darling. We are not going to let this fail."

Now, that made him feel better. "Thank you. I think I'm gonna take off so I can make sure I have everything ready to go." His appointment was directly after school, which meant he'd have no time to prepare after work.

The guys all said their goodbyes, and then Adele walked him to his car like he always did. "Do you want me to see if I can get someone to cover for me?" Adele asked as Dallas unlocked his car.

Yes, yes he did. But no, he also didn't. He wasn't going to let his personal life disrupt Adele's. "I'll be fine. I think I'm just scared, you know? Like, I know there's no chance my custody arrangement will get worse, but I'm not sure I can handle it not getting better."

Adele pulled him into a hug, squeezing tightly. "Call me when it's over. If I'm at the station, I'll be able to answer."

Dallas gave him a nod, then climbed into his car and watched as Adele made his way back inside. Just before he put his car in reverse, his phone lit up with a text. His heart thundered when he saw the person's name.

Kylen: you busy?

Dallas: In the car about to drive. Want me to call?

Kylen: I wouldn't mind a chat .

He hit the Call button, then pulled out onto the street as it rang. It went on three times before Kylen finally answered, and he sounded like he'd been crying. "Sorry to bother you."

Dallas almost had to pull over. "What happened?"

"My gran went to the care facility today. I feel like the world's biggest asshole."

"But…" Dallas frowned as he turned onto the main road. "Isn't that a good place for her? I mean, her disease is pretty advanced, isn't it?"

"I think she's got a while left in her, but yeah. She has no idea who I am anymore. She keeps saying she doesn't have grandkids, and when I picked her up from the hospital, she thought I was a doctor."

Dallas grimaced. He couldn't imagine how hard that was. "What can I do?"

Kylen sniffed, then laughed. "Nothing, really. I think I just needed to hear a friendly voice. My sister and I aren't talking, and I had to block my mom because she kept blowing up my phone after she found out what I did."

Dallas didn't know the details, but he didn't need to. He knew the sort of person Kylen's mom was. "I can come over if you want company."

"That…actually, that might be nice," Kylen said. "Flora's with her mom for the next few nights before she has to fly back to London. My house is really quiet right now."

Dallas quickly changed directions. "I'm on my way. I'll be there in ten."

"Thanks," Kylen said really softly.

Dallas wanted to tell him not to thank him because it felt more selfish than anything, but he also understood this wasn't just about him. So he was going to check his shit at the door and be there for Kylen in ways that the people in his life currently refused to be.

Kylen wasn't crying when he let Dallas in, but his face was splotchy, and his eyes were red-rimmed. He was wearing a thin sweater with sleeves that fell past his fingers and tight jogging pants that hugged his ass in all the right places. Dallas went a little hot around the collar at the sight of him, which warred with his desire to pull him close and wrap him tight until he forgot how much pain he was in.

He settled for pressing a soft kiss to Kylen's cheek as he passed him in the foyer.

Neither of them said a word as Kylen led the way to his living room, and Dallas opened his arms up when Kylen perched on the edge of the couch cushion, looking uncertain. There was a beat of stillness, and then Kylen collapsed back against Dallas's chest and gave a happy hum when Dallas dragged fingernails lightly over his scalp.

"Sorry for being needy," Kylen said after several minutes of silence.

Dallas shook his head. "Please don't be. You're allowed to call your friends when you need them."

Kylen let out a watery laugh and hunched into himself. "Yeah, that's kind of the thing though. Tonight, when I realized how much everything sucked, I also realized I had, like, no friends."

"So that makes me what?"

Kylen rolled his eyes up toward Dallas. "Something else."

Dallas wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. All he knew was that they were standing in front of a line, and his next move could either send him reeling back or pushing forward. He licked his lips, then swallowed, and he watched Kylen's gaze track his Adam's apple as it bobbed along the front of his throat.

"You're not alone," he finally said.

Kylen's eyes closed. "Yeah. I know."

Dallas wasn't sure Kylen believed himself. He used the tip of his finger to trace a line down his jaw. His face was covered in rough stubble, like he couldn't bring himself to shave, and Dallas liked the sensation against his skin.

Kylen leaned into it like a man touch-starved, and Dallas knew all too well what that was like. He added another finger, pressing harder, watching Kylen react to it. His body was humming with desire. He wanted more. And he knew he could probably have it, but would that be taking advantage of Kylen in his current state?

"Dallas," Kylen whispered after a long beat.

"Ky?"

His eyes opened, and his cheeks dimpled with his half grin. "I normally hate when people shorten my name, but it sounds nice when you do it."

"You might be biased," Dallas told him.

Kylen pulled out of his grasp, but he didn't pull away. He shifted his body and kept himself close enough that Dallas could feel the warmth of his body. "I know I'm biased. You're different from most people."

Normally, Dallas wouldn't take that as a compliment. All he'd ever wanted to be was the same as everyone else. He was tired of being the weirdo. But when Kylen said it, the words notched themselves between his ribs and clung there, becoming part of him. He was different .

And Kylen liked him because of that.

"I know you're…that you don't like me, like me. But was kissing me awful?"

Dallas blinked at him. "Did it seem like I didn't enjoy it?"

"I couldn't tell. It was your first, right?"

Dallas took a breath, then nodded. "It was my first. Not ever, but?—"

"Yeah, no. I know. Your first real kiss with a man." Kylen blew out a puff of air. "Seven out of ten?"

Dallas flushed hard. He'd been joking. He was trying to lighten the mood because he was a little afraid he'd over-stepped. But maybe his words had hurt Kylen. He did that sometimes, too, in his attempts to make things better.

"It was a ten out of ten," Dallas murmured. "Just didn't want you getting an ego."

Kylen blinked, then burst into laughter. "Oh my God, you are so weird. I love it."

Dallas bit his lower lip and watched the way Kylen's smile transformed his face. He still looked beaten down and exhausted. Dallas could still tell the man had been crying all day. But when he laughed, there was a brightness about him that Dallas hadn't seen on anyone else.

He reached his hand out before he realized he was doing it. His palm touched Kylen's cheek, and warmth rushed through him. Kylen leaned in, then turned his face and nuzzled his nose against him.

"Do you want to kiss me again?" Kylen asked very quietly.

Yes. God yes . He leaned in. "Tell me you'll be okay with it in the morning if we do this now. You're not yourself."

"I'm myself," Kylen said, grabbing Dallas by the wrist and squeezing. "I'm sad. I'm lonely. But I haven't lost who I am. Or what I want. But I don't want to push you into something you don't want just to make me feel better."

Dallas hesitated. He did want it. More than anything. He wanted to touch this man, to spread him out beneath him and make his next tears ones of pleasure. It wasn't a new feeling, but it was one he hadn't had in a long, long while. And he didn't know how long it would be before he felt it again.

"I'm still figuring myself out," he said. "I can't lie and say I don't want you. I've been thinking about you for a while now. But I don't know what it means."

Kylen looked up at him through his long lashes. "Will you regret it in the morning?"

"No." And he meant that. "I'm not curious about being with you. I just can't promise anything more than this tonight. I don't…there are things I'm trying to figure out about myself that…I don't quite understand." That was a lie. He did understand. But he was terrified this was a onetime thing and that when it was over, Kylen was going to want him more, and Dallas was going to want him less.

And then one of them would have to compromise, and resentment would build. And at some point, Kylen would end up hating him as much as Katie did.

The thought made him sick to his stomach.

"Hey," Kylen said softly. He slid his fingers between Dallas's and squeezed. "I'm not asking for a proposal. I'm not asking for anything you're not willing to give me. But if you want me, and I want you, then just for tonight, let's be selfish."

Let's be selfish . Dallas wanted to laugh. And maybe cry. Katie called him selfish, which had stung because he'd spent so long trying to twist himself into shapes that made her happy, and he'd failed. The thought was abjectly terrifying.

And yet, the way Kylen said it, it sounded so simple. So easy. All he'd have to do is reach out and take this thing Kylen was offering him.

So what could it hurt?