Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

KYLEN

Kylen's phone immediately began to buzz the second he was back at the airport from a long flight. The texts came in one after another after another, which told him he was missing something important. His gut sank when he saw his sister and his mom on his notifications.

Grace: The hospital has been trying to call you.

Mom: Don't you think you need to put Gran's wellbeing ahead of your own? What are you doing right now that's so important?

There were more like that—passive aggression, though Grace was kinder about it. Instead of messaging them back, he called the nurse's station on the way to his car, and a tired-sounding woman picked up.

"Hi, this is Kylen?—"

"Oh, good," she said, interrupting him before he could get the rest out. "Your grandmother is being discharged this afternoon, and we couldn't get anyone to sign off."

Kylen pinched the bridge of his nose. "Did anyone contact my sister?"

"She informed us she wasn't comfortable making the decision to sign her discharge papers and take her home since you're her caregiver."

Fantastic. That was fantastic. Grace was in town with nothing to do, she knew he was at work, and she still couldn't be bothered to help. He didn't know why he was surprised by this anymore, but he was starting to reach the end of his rope.

He wasn't sure he could do this anymore. His life was being eaten up day by day, and the only ones who even cared that his gran didn't go to a care facility were his parents. They'd threatened to cut him off if he so much as considered it.

But he knew they weren't all like the movies. He wasn't going to have her sent up for a goddamn lobotomy. There was a high-needs memory care facility two miles from his home, and if he could work full-time, he could easily afford it.

Fuck, he was feeling so done.

Climbing into his car, he put his phone on the dock, then started it up and hit his sister's number just before he pulled out onto the main street. He was a good ten minutes from the hospital, so Grace was going to get an earful.

"What took you so long to?—"

"I was in the air, and you knew I was flying today," Kylen snapped at her.

She went quiet for a beat. "You can't even answer if it's an emergency? "

"No. You know this, Grace. And you could have easily checked Gran out and gotten her home."

"I'm not comfortable with that," she said, her voice hard. "I told you right from the beginning that I wasn't in a place where I could do any of her care."

"Right. So you let it all fall on me, and when I suggested having her stay somewhere with a full-time support staff, you, Mom, and Dad sat me down like it was a fucking intervention. All of you are happy to try and run my life—every goddamn iota of it—without lifting a finger to help."

"I watch your daughter all the time," Grace hissed.

"Yes, for the two weeks you come into town. And not once have I asked you to do that. I already have a support system for her. I'm done, Grace. When I get home, I want you gone."

"I'm not staying with you," she reminded him.

"Oh, I'm aware of that," he said with a bitter laugh. "You're welcome to stay in town, but you're done seeing me. You're done seeing Flora. I'm over it. I don't want to speak to anyone for a long, long while."

"You're being dramatic."

He laughed. He couldn't help it. "You've spent the last, what, fifteen years denying my sexuality to my face. You've disrespected me. You've disrespected my life, and you disrespected my partner."

"What partner?"

"Dallas!" he shouted, then took a breath. He didn't want to lose it while he was driving. "The entire family has no problem letting me sacrifice my entire life because they can't be assed to lift a fucking finger to help the one woman who loved them without any conditions. You know that, right? Gran loved you no matter how badly you fucked up. And this is how you treat her? "

Grace was so quiet, for a moment, he thought she hung up. "I'll leave."

"Good. And don't call me again." He hung up, then realized he was trembling. He saw the parking lot, and the universe must have been looking out for him because there was a spot front row. He pulled in, then killed the engine and sat. There was an uncomfortable bubble sitting at the top of his stomach. It made him want to scream. Or hit something. It made him want to break down, but the feeling was also trapped. It was like there was a wall of glass preventing him from feeling it completely.

He'd just cut his sister off. And the rest of his family. Whether or not he stuck to it was anyone's guess, but he'd been telling himself to do it for years, and for years, he'd ignored his own advice. He pressed his fingers into his eyes and rubbed until he saw stars.

Then, moving almost on autopilot, he got out of the car and made his way inside.

The first person he saw in his gran's room was Frey. He was sitting by her bed, filing her nails and telling a story that was very animated, but Kylen couldn't make out any of the words. His ears were still buzzing from shock.

Frey looked over at him and gave him a big smile as his gran frowned. "You're here! We're just having a little goodbye mani sesh." He waved the emery board in the air. "Wanna get in on this?"

"I don't think I like that doctor," his gran said, her voice very hoarse.

"Oh, hon. That's not the doctor. That's your grandson."

She laughed. "No. I'm too young for grandchildren."

Kylen's chin began to tremble. Fuck. He was not going to break down, goddamn it. He was not going to cry here in front of God, Frey, and his gran, who didn't even know who he was anymore.

Frey noticed right away, and he dropped the emery board on the little table beside the bed. "Hang tight, little lady. I'll be back in a second. The doctor and I need to have a little chat."

Kylen didn't have time to react before Frey seized him by the wrist and dragged him three doors down into an empty room. It looked like it had been a patient room once, but now it held two very large, brown leather sofas, a rug, a little table, and several boxes of tissue.

He didn't need to know hospitals to understand what this room was for.

He turned to Frey, who set his hands on Kylen's shoulders and squeezed. "Let it out."

"I can't," he whispered. "If I start now, I won't stop."

"In my experience, it only feels like that. If you start now, you can release some of that pressure so you can get everything done that needs to be done."

"There's so much," he started, but his voice cracked. Shit. He was going to lose it. God help him. He tried to swallow, but his throat wouldn't cooperate. "I can't do this anymore. I can't. I can't keep…I can't…"

A tear slid down his cheek.

God, he didn't cry. He never fucking cried. Why now? Why was this breaking him?

Frey slid his arms around him. "Let go," he whispered.

Kylen began to shake all over, and then suddenly, a sob tore from his chest. He buried it in Frey's scrubs as the man held him so tight he could barely breathe. It wasn't enough. Kylen felt like he was losing himself to the anger, the grief, and the frustration. He was mourning the only person in his family who had ever truly loved him as he was, and she wasn't even gone yet.

His family didn't seem to give a shit that it was torture for him to endure this. And the fact that they willingly laid this on his shoulders without offering to help, then standing in his way when he tried to get it, was shredding him inside.

"I hate my family," he gasped.

Frey rubbed his hands up and down Kylen's back. "They sound like real douchebags."

Kylen let out a watery laugh. The urge to scream-sob had lessened. He could breathe again. His throat wasn't so tight. His cheeks were wet, but he didn't fall to pieces the way he'd expected he was going to. "A year ago, I looked into some care facilities. There were some really crappy ones, but there's a nice one down the road from me."

"Hidden Meadows," Frey said.

Kylen pulled back and swiped at his face when Frey let him go. "You know it?"

"I stand by it," Frey said, pressing his hand over his heart. "It's a good place."

"Everything I read said that it would be such a good place for her. But when I told my family, they staged an intervention and called me a shitty grandson. They made me feel like a monster for wanting to send her there."

"But they're the same people who refused to pick her up?" Frey asked. "I spoke with one woman this morning—Sharon?"

"My mother," Kylen said darkly.

Frey closed his eyes and took a breath. "She went off about how irresponsible and careless you were for not picking up the phone. None of them seemed concerned that we couldn't reach you. "

Kylen swallowed thickly. "I was at work. I'm going to lose my fucking house if I don't work, but I can't work full-time and take care of Gran because no one will stay with her. We only qualify for twelve hours of in-home care a week, and they were the people who failed to show up on time and let her lie there after her fall for almost half a fucking hour. I can't…I can't keep this up. I feel like I'm losing myself."

Frey cupped his cheeks. His palms were warm. It was almost as comforting as it was when Dallas had held him, and he understood in that moment why Dallas called his friends his family. What Kylen wouldn't give to have this in his life.

"You're not losing yourself, but you cannot tear yourself to pieces like this. It's not right. And it's not cruel to put her somewhere she's going to get the care she needs."

Kylen leaned into Frey's touch for a moment, then stepped back. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to take the calls today."

Frey's eyes darkened. "I will tell Dallas to take you over his knee and spank your ass if you apologize again."

Kylen flushed so hard, so hot, he felt dizzy. "Christ."

Frey's lips turned up into a smirk. "Mm. Thought so. Honey, let me get someone from Hidden Meadows over here to talk to you, okay? Fuck your family. Do this now before they can talk you out of it."

Kylen started shaking all over again. He'd never gone against them like this. Not ever. But Frey was right. He couldn't tear himself to pieces. It wasn't fair to Flora, and it wasn't fair to him. He didn't want to be lonely for the rest of his life. He wanted to be loved and cared for. But he couldn't ask someone to stay in his life when he could only give a tiny part of himself over .

He needed this.

And he needed someone around to remind him that it was okay. He wasn't a monster for choosing this. He just wished he wasn't so damn alone in his life.

His gran fell asleep shortly after Frey took him to the other room, so when the rep from Hidden Meadows showed up, she slept through the whole thing. The meeting went as well as the first one he'd had over the phone, but looking the woman in the eye and getting a feel for her settled what little nerves he had left.

"Care facilities have terrible reputations," Alora said, offering him a soothing grin. "I fully understand your reluctance."

"It's not just that. It's a family issue," Kylen confessed. "They don't want her in a care home, but they also don't want to help. But I'm a single dad and a commercial pilot, so I've had to max out my leave and my PTO, and if I can't get back to work, I'm going to lose my house."

"You're not the first person to come to me with a story like that, Mr. Harrell. People like to have very big, very loud opinions while also refusing to offer any sort of help. And caregiver burnout is a real thing. It's a crushing thing sometimes. Especially when we're being convinced that we're doing the wrong thing by our loved ones by allowing someone else to care for them."

"I just want her to be safe," Kylen said quietly. He wrapped his arms around his middle. "She's the only one who ever really gave a shit about me. Sorry for swearing."

Alora laughed quietly. "Don't apologize. And I get it. My great-aunt took me in when I was seventeen. "

Kylen looked up at her. "You got kicked out?"

"My parents caught me with a girl after volleyball practice," she said carefully. He knew her tone intimately—the one that said she was pretty sure he was under the queer umbrella, but she wasn't sure enough to let herself be entirely vulnerable.

"My parents never kicked me out, but they've spent years trying to convince me that I'm wrong. That I'm secretly straight because I got drunk and had sex with a woman once."

Alora grimaced. "Ouch."

"It sucks. I mean, I love my daughter's mother. She's one of my absolute best friends, and I wouldn't trade my daughter for the world. But having to constantly battle their refusal to accept me for who I am hurts. And my gran is the one person who did. Now she doesn't—" He stopped, his voice cracking. "She doesn't remember me most of the time."

Alora leaned forward. "There's nothing I can say to make this grief easier for you. But I can promise you we have staff who will do everything to make sure your grandmother spends the rest of her time with us safe and comfortable."

He was almost afraid to believe her, but Kylen had almost always had a good sense of when a person was full of shit, and Alora wasn't one of those. He felt comforted. He felt good. For the first time in a long time, he felt like things were going to work out.

Signing papers didn't take long. All that was left was the wait for her admission date and then, of course, the money he'd have to pay, which would be worth it. His heart ached a little as he signed her discharge papers, and his stomach swooped uncomfortably as Frey appeared with a wheelchair.

"You're still on shift?" Kylen asked, surprised to see him.

Frey's lip twitched. "Let's call it overtime."

Blinking, Kylen took a step closer. "You're off the clock, aren't you?"

"Yep, but my kid is with his mentor right now, and I have nowhere to be." He shifted from his left foot to his right. "You kind of looked like you could use a friend."

Kylen wanted to cry all over again. "You know how you invited me to that dad group?—"

"Open invitation. Permanently," Frey said. "Have Dallas come pick you up for our next meeting. Kids are always welcome."

Kylen swallowed thickly, then nodded. "Thanks. I'll think about it. This is…yeah. This has been the weirdest day. It's like the worst and the best."

"Been there," Frey said and squeezed his shoulder before pushing the wheelchair to the bed. "Alright, gorgeous," Frey said to his gran, "let's get you up and get you home."

Home. That would mean something different soon, but for now, Kylen was grateful he had a little more time, even if his life would be just a little bit harder.