Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

DALLAS

Dallas knew his pacing was starting to grate on Adele's nerves, but he couldn't sit still. He'd been in a sort of fog when he was at Kylen's for dinner. The kiss had thrown him, but not in a bad way. He hadn't had a chance to really process it, though, because Kylen's sister had been there, and she was acting like herself: terrible. Then the topic of Flora had come up and whether or not she might need an evaluation, and Dallas had gone into teacher mode.

Then dinner was over, and Kylen gave him a long hug at the door, and that was that. It hadn't hit him that he kissed a man until he was in bed with the sheets pulled up to his chest.

He couldn't ignore what it meant now. He just needed to figure out how to go forward. If he brought this to the group, they'd all have different pieces of advice, and he'd get lost and confused. The only one with a level head that wasn't going to give him shit about realizing he might not be entirely straight was Adele.

But now that he was standing in front of him, the words seemed stuck in the back of his throat .

So he paced. And he kept pacing.

"I feel like I'm burning calories just watching you," Adele said.

Dallas ran fingers through his hair. "Sorry. I just…" Fuck, why was this so hard?

"Did you do something bad?"

Dallas looked at him. "I don't think it was bad. Maybe it was bad. Jesus, I didn't even think about how it might make him feel, and?—"

"Hey, bud?"

Dallas went quiet, taking a couple of calming breaths. "I kissed him. He kissed me? I don't…" No, he had definitely kissed Kylen. "I mean, I kissed him, and he kissed me back."

Adele looked up at him for a long moment, then pressed his hands to the tops of his thighs and stood. His muscles rippled. Dallas had a sudden, wild thought that he should be attracted to Adele. If he wasn't straight—if he liked men—he should like this man. He was objectively gorgeous, and kind, and always took care of Dallas.

So what the fuck was wrong with him that he felt nothing?

"You gonna puke? You're really pale, bud."

Dallas wasn't sure. He was definitely panicking. "Why don't I want to have sex with you?" he blurted.

Adele blinked at him. "I'm sorry. What?"

"I mean…" He let out a laugh, which quickly turned hysterical, and he groped for the chair behind him before sitting down. "Oh. I think I'm having a crisis."

Adele was in front of him a second later, dropping to his knees. He placed his hands on Dallas's knees, and the pressure was very grounding. His breathing started to calm down. "You're definitely having something. You're not making a whole lot of sense right now."

Dallas let out a high, tight laugh. "I know. I'm sorry. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle that's spilled all over the floor."

"Then let's start putting you together," Adele said matter-of-factly. He took Dallas's hands in his and squeezed. "You kissed a man. Which means you think you like men?"

"I think like a man," Dallas corrected.

"I'm going to take a leap and guess it's Kylen."

He nodded miserably.

"You kissed him, and you liked it," Adele went on.

Swallowing thickly, he nodded again. "Yeah."

"And now you want to…fuck me?" Adele bit his lip for a second. "I'm sorry, babe, I am so confused."

"I don't want to fuck you," Dallas clarified. "I was just wondering why I don't want to fuck you."

"Let's back up here, and let me ask why you think you should want to fuck me?"

Dallas pulled his hands away, rubbing at his eyes and groaning. "I've been doing a lot of reading. Probably too much because right now, my head feels like it's just a bunch of jumbled words, but yeah. I think I'm greysexual. Grey-ace," he clarified. "Asexual."

"Yes," Adele said patiently. "I understand the ace spectrum. And you think you're on it?"

"Yeah. I definitely like Kylen. I've already accepted that. I just don't understand why it's him. Why isn't it you? You're sweet and gorgeous, and you and I get along really well." Dallas started to feel that weird, panicked sensation in his gut again. Then, the edges of his face started going numb. "It doesn't make sense. All the websites say that if you're greysexual, you catch feelings for people you have a strong connection to. And you're my best friend?—"

"Okay, hold on," Adele said. It looked like he was fighting back a laugh, which made Dallas feel even worse. "First of all, I love you. You're one of my best friends in the whole world. You're also incredibly gorgeous, and you're funny and kind and a really good dad. But I don't want to fuck you."

"Uh."

Adele's lips twitched, but he still didn't smile. He held Dallas's gaze firmly. "You can be greysexual without having romantic or sexual feelings for everyone you're close to. There are no rules about who you must or must not fall for. There doesn't have to be logic behind it, babe. All of my friends are objectively gorgeous, but they're not people I want to date."

"I just wish it made better sense," Dallas said miserably. "I wish I was normal."

Adele's mouth opened, then closed, and Dallas had a feeling he was going to lecture him on the idea of normal before changing his mind. Adele's shoulders sagged, and he lifted higher up on his knees so they were almost eye-to-eye. "I get it."

"Yeah?" Dallas wasn't a hundred percent sure he believed his friend.

"Trust me, I do. Life is hard. Navigating the world as a single dad is harder. Throw in confusion about your sexuality or whatever—it's the fucking worst. But you don't need to panic. It's okay that you don't want to fuck me. I prefer this."

Dallas let out a weak, watery laugh. "Me too. I just…" He gave a frustrated growl and scrubbed his hands over his face. "I wasn't like this with him last night. I was smooth as fuck."

Adele raised a brow at him .

"Shut up. I was. I was…Jesus, I was happy and confident. I felt good, and I wanted to make him feel good."

"Honey, I'm sorry, but I don't understand the problem here. He likes you. You like him. You're happy and confident with him."

Dallas glanced away. "I haven't told him how I feel."

"Oh."

"And I don't know if I can. What if it doesn't last? With Katie, I really liked her too. I wanted her. But it didn't last, and I still kind of wonder if it was me that broke her."

Adele's face fell, and he lifted up, sliding onto the chair beside Dallas. "You didn't break her. If she was suffering because of that, she could have come to you. She made a shitty choice, and she's continued to make shitty, vindictive choices since then."

Dallas understood that. He'd gone over that in therapy, and he'd mostly accepted it. But he realized he was still afraid. He didn't want to fuck someone else up. He wanted to be happy. "What do I do?"

"Talk to him," Adele said. "Tell him you're still figuring your shit out. Tell him that you like him. Tell him what you're afraid of."

That sounded terrible, even if it was the best advice he could get. "What if," he asked slowly, "he's fine with it. So we're together. And then…"

"And then?" Adele pressed when Dallas hesitated.

His gaze cut down to his hands, which were sore from how hard he was wringing them. "And then we're happy. But years later, he realizes that it's not enough for him—that he needs someone more…" Normal. "Like him. And he ends it."

"That's a risk you're going to have to take," Adele said, not sugarcoating anything. "And you're going to have to trust the answer he gives you."

"But he might not know," Dallas said, his voice barely above a whisper. "He might not know it until it happens."

"I know," Adele said, and Dallas realized there were no answers. There were no solid promises either of them could give each other.

There was just hope. And he was really bad at that.

For the first time in a long while, Dallas felt at peace. The sun was shining, the park was damn near empty in spite of it being a Saturday, and he wasn't alone. Katie hadn't fucked with his visitation schedule, so he had Audra, who was squealing happily as Gage pushed her on the swings.

Frey had called him asking if he wanted to meet at the park, which Dallas happily agreed to. Rex was apparently feeling restless, and Gage was babysitting Briar so Lane and Bowen could take care of wedding stuff.

Apart from the lingering turmoil in his gut, it was the perfect afternoon.

"Why do you look like you got a dildo stuck in your ass," Frey asked him. "You didn't actually get anything stuck up there, did you?"

Dallas choked. "What is wrong with you?"

Frey smiled. "I'm a jaded former ER nurse."

"You were in labor and delivery. Then orthopedics," Dallas accused.

"You'd be surprised the weird shit expectant parents try to go into labor is all I'm going to say." Frey rested his arms behind his head and stretched his legs out.

Like Adele, he was objectively gorgeous, but also like Adele, there was no spark. He wouldn't have thought anything had changed, except when he closed his eyes and thought about kissing Kylen, he got hot all over.

"There's that face again," Frey said.

Dallas shrugged and shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked at his daughter. Audra was squealing happily as Gage pushed her in the swing. Rex and Briar were on the big plastic castle playing pirates, and off in the distance, he could see another car pulling up, which probably meant more kids.

"It's nothing."

"It's something," Frey pressed.

"I'm not going to talk about it at the park. It's…a lot."

Frey's face fell. "Shit. I'm sorry. Do you want to come over later?"

Dallas shook his head. "There's nothing anyone can do. I, uh…well. I think I'm falling for Kylen, and it's a big mess."

"You could do worse, if that helps," Frey said. "He's a really good dude. And ridiculously hot."

Dallas felt a sudden, irrational surge of possessiveness. He wanted to tell Frey to back the fuck off—which was ridiculous, considering Frey was happily engaged. He needed to calm his shit down. "I like him too."

"He's funny. And his granny is hilarious. His sister's a piece of work though, isn't she?"

Dallas winced. "She is. I don't think it's her fault. Their family dynamic is super fucked, and she obviously loves the shit out of her niece."

"I haven't met his kid, but he seems like a good dad."

Dallas couldn't help his smile. "He's an amazing dad. He's—" His words dried up because he recognized the tiny person running at him like a rocket. He had just enough time to brace himself before Flora threw herself into his arms with a happy squeal. "Hey, kiddo!"

Frey blinked at him as an unfamiliar woman came rushing up to them. "Flora! What are you doing?"

"He's mine!" Flora cried.

The woman's eyes were wide and a little panicked. "I'm so sorry. She literally never does this. She hates strangers."

Dallas couldn't help a laugh, even as he felt a bubble of trepidation forming in his gut. The woman was drop-dead gorgeous. She was tall, with long, thick black hair and dark olive skin, in a yellow sundress that fit her curves like a glove.

This had to be her mother. Daniela.

"He's not a stranger. He's mine!" Flora said, her face still buried in Dallas's neck.

He shifted Flora to the side and then lifted her as he stood. "I'm her teacher."

The woman's mouth dropped open. " You're Mr. Reed?" She gave him a very slow, pointed up-and-down stare. "Wow."

He had no idea what to say to that. He was still a little awestruck by her. And it was definitely not the way he'd wanted to meet Kylen's…well, whatever she was to him. "I'm going to take that as a compliment," he said with a laugh, though he didn't feel anything except nervous enough he wanted to vomit.

"Oh, it definitely is." She stuck out her hand. Her nails were short and painted red. "Daniela. Well, Dani. I prefer Dani."

"Dallas," he said.

"Alliteration. I like it." She shook his hand, then carefully pried Flora out of his arms. "I'm sure your teacher is happy to see you, but maybe we don't assault him on a park bench, mija."

Flora pouted. "He comed to my house for dinner. Hugs are okay."

"Hugs are okay," Dallas confirmed.

Flora gave her mom a so there look before glancing over her shoulder. Rex was watching with eagle eyes while Briar was pouring sand on his feet. "Do you think those kids would play with me?"

"Yes," Frey said, cutting in. "Want me to introduce you?"

Flora's eyes widened as she looked at Frey. "Um."

"This is my best friend," Dallas told her. "His name is Mr. Truman."

"Oh, please don't call me that," Frey begged. "Frey is fine."

Dallas looked at Dani, who just shrugged. "Okay, you can call him Frey."

Flora looked unsure.

"That's his son, Rex. It's a good idea if he introduces you because Rex is Deaf and uses sign language. Remember how we learned the alphabet?"

She lifted her hand and signed, ‘A, B, C.'

‘Great,' Dallas signed back. "He can show you more signs, okay?"

After a beat, Flora nodded and held her hand out to Frey. "You can hold my hand to walk me there."

Frey's brows lifted, but he nodded and carefully led her away. A moment later, Dani burst into laughter. "I'm sorry. Forgive my language, but I didn't mean for this to turn into a shitshow."

Dallas couldn't help but chuckle along. "I teach kindergarten. Trust me, this isn't a shitshow." He watched Frey walk Flora over to Rex and kneel down. His back was to Dallas, so he couldn't see what they were signing, but Flora was watching intently, and Rex was nodding along.

"This is weird, right?" Dani asked as they headed toward the bench.

Dallas glanced at Gage, who looked intrigued, but he made no move to stop pushing Audra, who was still having the time of her life. "It's weird."

"You being Ky's boyfriend and all." She winked, which told him she was in on the whole thing.

Sagging down to the bench, Dallas let out a small puff of air. "Yeah. That's…I'm sure it's super weird for you."

"Oh, baby. It's not weird for me. You know that Ky and I weren't a thing, right? He's told you that. Please tell me he told you that."

Dallas's mouth quirked up into a half smile. "Yeah, he told me that."

She sagged forward. "He's a good man, and I appreciate what you're doing for him. It helps that you're Flora's favorite teacher, which makes you my favorite."

Dallas felt his cheeks flush. "I'm still kind of new at it."

Dani's eyes tracked Flora, who was on the plastic castle with Rex, Briar, and Frey, who was off to the side interpreting. "You're doing a really amazing job with her. Ky told me there's been some concerns with her?—"

"I'm not concerned," Dallas interrupted quickly. "I have a suspicion she might be neurodivergent. I'm not educated in psychology, so I can't say for certain, but an evaluation will help. She's such a great kid, and the evaluation might get her help if things get harder for her."

Dani bit her bottom lip. "I don't feel like I have the right to say anything. I'm her mom, but…I'm not like a normal mom, if that makes sense? Ky wanted her so badly, and I wa nted that for him. He was so lonely. And I know," she added, holding up a hand, "having a kid because you're lonely isn't always the best idea. But he's a great dad. His family's just…not the best."

"Oh, I know," Dallas said. "I've only met his sister, but if she's any indication, it's bad."

Dani's eyes darkened. "It's hard for me because Grace loves me. I thought she was going to hate me for being a hands-off parent, but she understood. She's always been so supportive. But then she uses me to try and convince Ky he should be with a woman."

Dallas's stomach twisted. "I hate that for him. He's so…" He hesitated, but he couldn't come up with the right words. There weren't any to describe the way Kylen made him feel.

" Oh . You like him," Dani whispered.

Dallas's gaze cut to her sharply. "I'm…it's. I'm not…"

"I won't tell him," Dani said. She went suddenly quiet, and he realized that Gage was walking Audra over to them.

Dallas held out his hands for his baby, and she let out a happy murmur, then nuzzled into his neck. "Someone's tired."

"She fell asleep in the swing," Gage said. His eyes darted back and forth for a second. "Do you mind if I go FaceTime a friend really quick? I'm supposed to have Briar, but I'm gonna use words she shouldn't hear."

Dallas laughed. "Go for it. Frey's got the kids right now."

Gage glanced backward, then waved at Frey before heading across the grassy field.

"Is he yours?"

Dallas laughed as he rubbed a hand down Audra's back. Her body was limp and heavy in his arms. It was the most comforted he'd felt in a while. "No. He's my best friend's kid. We have a little club."

"Ky told me. A bunch of hot single dads."

Dallas snorted. "Not so single anymore. It's about fifty-fifty now, but they're my best friends. I've told him he's welcome to join up. Flora can learn another language with Rex, and Kylen can get some downtime."

"He's not good at doing things for himself," Dani said, her mouth turned down at the corners. "It was another reason I felt so guilty. I know he wanted this, but I haven't been able to come around for all the hard stuff, and he just…he just takes it. He takes the bullshit from his family and the complicated parts of raising our daughter. He's sacrificed hours at his job because his grandmother needs care, and his so-called loving family can't be bothered to step up and help him. They're happy to berate him for who he is, then use him for what he's willing to do, and—" She stopped. "Sorry."

Dallas shook his head. "Please don't be. It's nice to see a set of parents who aren't together who care about each other this much."

"Not your story, huh?" she asked with a small grin.

Dallas huffed a laugh under his breath and dragged his fingers through his hair. "Ah. No. Our situation was?—"

"Complicated?"

His grin widened. "It really is a versatile word, isn't it? I don't think it'll ever get better. She likes having the ability to drop Audra with me anytime she needs to, and she also likes being able to take her away whenever she feels like it because she knows it'll hurt me. It's her form of revenge, I guess."

"For cheating?"

"For not loving her the way she wanted to be loved," Dallas said. He didn't want to get into the details. They didn't matter. "It's hard. I have to fight her in court for every inch she tries to take away, and I'm exhausted."

"Yet you find time to help a total stranger with his weird family," Dani pointed out.

"He deserves it." Which was the truth. Kylen did. He was a good man in a difficult situation, and if Dallas could spend a few hours and a few kisses making his life easier, he'd do it.

Even if the end of that story was them apart.

"You should tell him you like him. I know he likes you."

Dallas bowed his head. "Yeah. It's just…not that simple."

"It never is. But people like Ky? They're worth the fight."

Dallas wanted to pretend like those words hadn't put the biggest crack in his armor, but as Dani stood up to go talk with Frey and the kids, he realized it was all starting to break down.