23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Darren

We sat inside Baby Girl, watching the students go inside the school. It was our first day back, and my gut twisted strangely. All during football practice this summer before classes started, I'd had to deal with my teammates being dicks about my bisexuality. The team wouldn't dare bully me, but that didn't stop some snide, underhanded comments. But then, last week, between the support of our head coach, Dillon, and Dean, everyone backed off.

"Dare?"

I glanced at Christian, who wore his dark red hair back in a ponytail. It'd gotten long, and I loved running my hands through the wavy, silken strands, especially as we messed around.

"Yeah, baby."

He stared at his hands, fidgeting on his lap. "I should have talked to you about this sooner, but better late than never, right?" He gave an ironic laugh.

"What do you need to talk about?"

He looked up at me with dark, pleading eyes. "Please don't be upset… It's…"

Shit, that didn't sound good. Was he going to break up? Did I do something wrong? Fuck, if he was going to end this, I had to fight for him. I couldn't be without my Christian.

See what he has to say before panicking, Darren.

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and gripped the steering wheel, though we were parked.

"Can we back off the PDA a little bit while at school?"

I wasn't sure if I should've been relieved or disappointed. Why did we have to back off? I loved showing him off now that I was out and that we were a couple. "I thought you like being open, Chris."

"Yeah, open as gay, but I also don't constantly remind people I am, either. Okay, maybe a bit by how I dress… Look, it's great we're open, and everyone knows about us, but… Last year was hard on me."

"What the fuck do you mean hard on you? Were people fucking with you? Because I'll end them."

He gave me a shy smile and shook his head. "That's the problem. I don't want you ending anyone . I knew you'd be upset. You can't be around protecting me twenty-four-seven, Dare. Usually, I can take snide comments, but it got to be a lot by the end of last year."

"But I like having you by my side and showing the world we belong together. I also like protecting you."

Christian turned in the seat and reached for my face. "I know, baby. Outside of school is fine, walking me to class, hanging out at lunch, or holding hands is great. I just need to focus on school and not be distracted. "

I sagged my shoulders and stared out at the school. "Yeah, I guess I can do that."

"I love you and love being with you, but god, I get so tired of people unable to mind their own business. You're lucky because no one messes with you. I don't have that luxury."

The disappointment swelled in my veins. I understood Christian's point, but I also didn't. I didn't want anyone messing with him, but he was so open with how he dressed and being gay. Why couldn't we celebrate being together in front of everyone? I came out so that we could do just that and not have to hide him.

He sighed loudly. "God, I'm so sorry, Dare. Forget I said anything. You're right. I just made it sound like you aren't worth all that, but you are. You're worth everything. I… got nervous."

All my tension instantly evaporated, and I cupped his face. "It's okay. We can tone it down."

Christian sat up straight, rounded his shoulders, and shook his head. "No. I shouldn't have said anything. We're in this life together. That means having to deal with assholes. No matter what we do or where we go, we'll be faced with that." He looked at me with sad and worried eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"Don't be."

He lunged at me and kissed me senselessly. He smelled like one of his many colognes. This one had a hint of sweetness that matched the sugary flavor of his lip gloss, like salted caramel or something.

All my worries were gone, and my confidence returned. I'd just have to promise myself to watch over him better and make sure people backed off. I never wanted my Christian to feel scared or nervous.

The first semester blew by, between football practice, games, working out, working at the grocery store, doing homework, and spending time with Christian. Dillon helped take us to the playoffs, and we won the state championship by the skin of our teeth, but we did it. Between our grades and being the best players on varsity, recruiters from several colleges sought us out to play on their teams, but nothing from UVA, yet.

It had also been calmer for both of us as the students got used to Christian and me being boyfriends. I'd made him promise to come to me when someone messed with him enough to upset him, but he'd said that it hadn't been as bad as he expected, which was a relief. I didn't need to put my goals at risk by getting kicked out of school for kicking someone's ass, but I would for him.

Today was Valentine's Day, and I'd planned to finally take Christian to that fancy French restaurant that I promised him. Then we'd stay overnight at his dad's house, so we didn't have to drive home so late.

I knocked on Christian's front door, running a hand over my suit. I'd found it at Goodwill, surprised it even fit me… sort of. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than jeans, a plaid button-up, and a hoodie.

Christian's mom opened the door and scanned me up and down. "Well, well, well, don't you clean up nicely, Darren?"

"Thanks."

"Come on in. Christian is still getting ready."

I greeted his grandparents and sat on the sofa, waiting for him.

"So, have you decided what you're going to major in when you start college?" his grandad asked.

"I'd like to be a coach, whether at the high school level or college. But that's only if I don't make it to the NFL."

"Well, judging by what Christian tells me, you're amazing at football."

"Thanks. It's been amazing, but it's not all me. You're only as good as your team is."

His grandad nodded thoughtfully .

Thank fuck they could ask me questions and were kind to me without me going into a panic anymore. I really loved being over here.

"We can't get Christian to figure out his major. I know he's got time, but he should really start planning," Tally said, yanking my attention back to her. "His grades are good, but it's like he has no direction, which isn't like him."

I hadn't noticed until she said something. Christian was a planner, so his not having any ideas was unusual. Then again, I hadn't asked him either.

"I'm sure he'll figure it out," she said. "He always does. And as long as he's happy, and he's very happy with you."

I smiled. "He makes me happy, too."

Christian entered the living room, and I stood, nearly gasping at how beautiful he was. His hair was down to his shoulders and styled in sweeping, loose curls. He wore a black cashmere sweater with the necklace I'd bought him last year, paired with black dress pants.

"God, you look… stunning," I said.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around my neck. I bent down to give him a quick kiss.

"And you look so handsome."

"Thanks, baby. We better run. It's going to take a while to get to DC, and we don't want to miss our reservations."

It took almost an hour to get there. We were seated at a private booth for two, holding hands across the table as we read the menu.

"We only took Spanish class. I can't read shit in French."

Christian snorted a laugh and kept looking at the menu while I researched what was what on my phone.

"Do you know what we should do?" he finally asked before I got more and more frustrated.

"What?"

"Let's get out of here and give the gift card to my dad or something instead… if that's okay with you. This isn't really us, is it? "

I smirked and put my phone down. "Not really. Well, you're better suited for fancy. Me? Not so much."

He winked at me. "I saw a wing place a block away when we drove by."

"Seriously? You mean it?"

"Definitely."

"Let's do it!"

Christian giggled as our server came to our table, seeing us leave. "Is there something wrong, gentlemen?"

"It's great, but… I think we're in the mood for something more casual," my boyfriend said.

I shrugged. "Sorry."

Christian wrapped his coat around him, and we headed outside to walk to the other restaurant.

We ordered a pile of hot wings, some fried pickles with loads of ranch dressing, and fries.

I rubbed my hands together before digging in. Christian was more delicate and well-mannered than I was.

"Thanks for this, baby," I said.

"Just know we don't have to do fancy. I like looking good, but I don't have to be surrounded by nice things. But you were very sweet to think of me."

"At this rate, life is going to be amazing for us, Gorgeous. We'll go to college and graduate. I'll play for the NFL, we'll be rich, and we can travel the world or do whatever we want to do. If we want, we can start a family. You and me will conquer our worlds, as long as we're together."

His smile was small, and he said nothing before he took a bite of his chicken wing.

"I love you," I said with a sudden flash of uncertainty and insecurity.

"I love you, too, baby."

"Do you? "

Christian scrunched his brows as he popped a fried pickle chip into his mouth. "Do I what?"

"Love me."

His dropped brows rose to his hairline. "Where did that come from?"

"Answer the question."

"Of course, I love you. Why are you doubting me suddenly?"

"I don't… know."

"Babe." He wiped his hands on his napkin, reached across the table, and touched my arm. "I would take on your entire football team for you if I knew they wouldn't break every bone in my body."

"I'm sorry… it felt off when you said you loved me."

He sighed and took a sip of his soda. Shit, I knew something wasn't right.

"Tell me, Christian. What is going on?"

"It's nothing… really… I'm only a little concerned. I've been meaning to talk to you, but we're both always so busy, and when we do see each other, there's a lot of sex and stuff involved. Can we talk about it later? We're having a nice time."

I didn't want to wait. I needed to understand what the hell was wrong immediately. "No, tell me now."

He put his chicken wing back on the plate and cleaned his hands. "Fine. As I said, it's not that big of a deal. I just feel like I'm riding along parallel to your life rather than participating in it sometimes."

I shook my head, completely lost. "But I've been making plans for us . Our future together. I want you in it forever."

"Right… It's hard to explain."

"Then explain it," I said a little too harshly, instantly regretting it.

Christian winced at my tone, but I wasn't backing down. Whatever was wrong, we needed to fix it immediately. His brows smashed down, and he frowned at me. "Fine. You want to know? You make a lot of plans for us without asking me what I want. "

My heart stopped, and then it sped up. Did I do that? No, he wanted the same thing, right? I thought we agreed on everything. Did I have it wrong? "You… don't want a future with me?"

Christian's shoulders sagged, and he sighed. "That's not what I said. Of course I do. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I love you. Look, I told you a long time ago when we started dating that I wouldn't get in the way of your goals. I'm sticking to that, but I feel like… I don't know. I've seemed to have lost any goals for myself because we're so focused on yours."

The vague picture started clearing up and making more sense. I wiped my hands on my napkin and chugged back half of my soda, trying to see what he did. "God, Chris, I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. You never talk about what you want, so I guess I just assumed we were on the same path."

"We are , but I'd… like to be an active participant in these decisions."

"Well, what do you want? What are your goals?"

He shook his head, still frowning, which I fucking hated. We should be all smiles and laughter tonight. "I… don't know. That's the problem. Shit, this is clearly a me problem."

"No, don't put all this shit on you. I realize I… can barrel through life. It's just that I hadn't realized I was doing it to you, too. I'm so sorry, baby."

When Christian gave me a genuine smile, all my worries eased. "I should've said something sooner, but I was afraid to be disruptive, worried it would interfere too much with your plans. You need to get out of here more than I do."

"We'll sort through this. That's a promise."

He smiled again and nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Dare."

"I never want to make you feel less. Please understand that."

"I do. Thanks for listening."

I reached across the table and held his hand for a moment. "Tell me anything, okay? "

"Okay, I will."

We slept in Christian's bed at his dad's house. He was curled into me, fingers twitching on my chest from dreaming. I pulled him tight against me as if afraid he'd leave. That fear had been niggling around in my brain since school started, and he talked about us backing off publicly. Then at dinner… shit, I had a hard time sleeping last night, worried about failing him.

I pressed my nose into his hair and inhaled his sleepy smell. It was the best sort of smell, where all that cologne and deodorant had worn off, leaving his own personal scent.

My phone resting on his nightstand buzzed, but I ignored it, not ready to get up yet.

As my eyes drifted back to sleep, my phone buzzed again. I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn't fucking stop. Then my gut twisted. Shit, what if something happened to Mom? What if Dad said fuck it and hurt her? He'd backed off from hurting us. Not because he had a change of heart but because his fear of me was greater than his need to control and hurt.

I grabbed my phone and looked at the time. Shit, it was after eleven in the morning already, and much later than I thought.

Then I looked at the notifications, all from Dillon.

What the hell?

I opened my phone and called him.

"Dare?" he said. His voice was raw and anguished. Shit, something bad had happened. I could sense it.

"What's going on?"

"He's gone, Dare. His dad took him away." Suddenly, he started sobbing on the phone. I sat up, disturbing Christian, who also sat up, rubbing his eyes .

"Who's gone?"

"Cade!"

"What do you mean, he's gone?"

"We… we had sex last night for the first time. Our parents were supposed to be gone for the weekend, but they came home… Mom was sick. His dad found us… in bed together."

"Oh, fuck…"

"His dad called me all these slurs, and he hit him! He hit my Cade! Then he took him away. He won't let me see him, Dare."

"What's happened?" Christian asked, now more alert.

"Cade's dad caught him and Dillon in bed together and lost his mind, apparently. His dad took Cade away."

Christian covered his mouth with his hands, and his eyes watered. "Oh, no. This is horrible."

"Dillon's freaking out."

Christian grabbed my phone. "Dil, you'll get him back, okay? Surely, he'll be at school tomorrow. You'll see. We only have to convince his dad that you two love each other, and he'll just have to get over it."

I couldn't hear what Dillon said in return, and while I felt terrible about the situation, I didn't have the heart to tell Christian that if Cade's dad hit him and dragged him away while calling Dillon slurs, I highly doubted you could rationalize with him. Only putting the fear of god worked on men like that.

Still, we had to find a way to help.

We'd rushed home after the call, waiting for news from Dillon, but all he told us was that Cade's dad had come back to move all their stuff out. Cade wasn't coming back.

The next day at school, Christian and I found Dillon looking like hell. He had dark circles under his swollen eyes, staring at his lunch but not eating.

Dean suddenly plopped next to me. "What's going on? Where's Cade, and what the hell happened to Dillon? "

Dillon's eyes watered. "Cade's gone."

"His dad took him away when he found out Dillon and Cade were together," I whispered.

"Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, man. What can we do?"

Dillon just shook his head.

Christian sat next to Dillon and rubbed his back. "Why are you even at school? You should be resting."

"I came to see if Cade was coming. His dad said he was taking him out of school, but I'd hoped that it wouldn't happen immediately."

Christian looked at me with red-rimmed eyes. "We're all going to miss Cade."

Dillon rested his head on the table. "I think I'm going to throw up."

"You should go home and just call in sick for a couple of days until you can get your head on straight," I said.

"There is no getting my head on straight!" he snapped before looking around. "I'm demisexual… Cade is it for me—my soulmate. I'm bonded with him. I won't ever be whole until I can get him back."

"What about when he turns eighteen?" I asked. "He'll be an adult, so he can do whatever, right?"

Dillon nodded. "That's the plan, but that's almost a year from now. I don't think I can wait that long."

Dean stood, reached over, and gripped Dillon's shoulder. "Find out what school he goes to and visit him there."

"I'll try."

"Do you want me to walk you to the nurse's office?" Christian asked.

"No… thanks. I'll just call my mom, and she'll come get me."

It was shit like that, reminding me of why I'd taken so long to come out and why I'd never told my dad about being with Christian. I didn't trust him not to do something insane.

"Fuck, if someone took you away from me," I said to Christian.

He came back over to the other side of the table and sat next to me. "No one will take us away. My family loves you. Your mom knows and seems okay with it. Your dad… I don't know, but there's no reason for him to learn about it. We'll be okay, baby."

"Seriously, I'd burn the world to the ground to get you back."

He pressed his forehead to mine. "I know, baby. I know you would."