22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Christian

Stretching, burning, pulling, stinging… that's what sex felt like. I almost gave up the fight to make it feel good, but instead, I pushed myself, needing to do this for us. People did this all the time, right? If they could, then so could I.

I rested my head on his broad chest once I was fully seated. I felt so full and had to breathe through the pain. In hindsight, we should've practiced and played with each other instead of going right at it. And being on my aching knees didn't help.

Darren's gentle fingers dragged across my now sweaty skin, running soothing circles along my back.

"Talk to me, baby," he said.

But I couldn't. Not yet. My lungs still fought to get air in.

The pain finally gave way, making my body instantly relax on him. It was such a strange sensation. Weird almost, and I wasn't sure I enjoyed it all that much. If I could just find that one spot that Darren had with his fingers earlier, I would be fine. That felt damn good.

"Christian," he said with more firmness.

"Just… give me a second. I'm fine. I'm good… I think."

After a minute, I sat up and was introduced to a world of pleasure I hadn't expected. Once all that pain vanished, it left me with only arousal. Sure, it still burned and stretched, but it was bearable. Darren did most of the moving, his abs defined and tight with exertion.

He scrunched his brows and parted his lips, breathing heavily as he looked up, never taking his eyes off me.

There was so much intensity and pressure consuming me. And when he finally hit that special spot again, I fell back onto his chest, my fingers pulling on his ears.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he chanted over and over while I barely uttered a word.

I raised my head and pressed my lips to his. We breathed more than kissed, like sharing our souls through oxygen. My body grew hot from the inside out, and a sheen of sweat covered my skin. Darren was also slick from it.

He growled, and suddenly, I found myself on my back, nearly getting the wind knocked out of me.

"W-what…"

"Need more," he growled.

He re-entered me, and I saw a kaleidoscope behind my eyes when he hit that spot again, over and over. My body just lay there as Darren virtually consumed me, owning every inch of me.

"I'm close," he grunted.

Soon, warmth wrapped around me from calloused hands, and I was being hit from the inside out. It was too much at once, yet not enough.

The world around me ceased to exist as all that pressure was finally released .

I arched my back and clung to my hair until the pleasurable yet painful wave was over.

Darren wasn't far behind, and I was filled with even more heat.

He fell next to me, unmoving, all but his overworked lungs moving him up and down.

I winced when we parted, but it was also a relief not to feel so full anymore.

We rolled onto our sides, staring at each other. His green eyes sparkled in the firelight, and his blond hair was soaked.

He gently pulled back my sweaty hair sticking to my face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm going to feel that for a week."

His smile turned crooked. "Why do I like the idea of you still feeling me inside you so much?"

I huffed a laugh and smacked his chest. "You would."

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "You look good all sexed."

"I always look good."

"That you do."

Darren suddenly jumped up as if we hadn't just had amazing sex, and he still had his muscles and bones, ripping off the condom and tossing it somewhere. He bent down and lifted me into his arms. "Let's cool off before bed."

He walked us into the creek and eased us into the water. The coolness felt so good against my heated skin and the pain where he'd been inside me, washing away all the sweat and stink.

Once we were chilled and cleaned, we dried off, and I sat between his legs in front of the fire, wincing and sore, both of us still naked. Darren pressed kisses along my shoulders and neck.

"Best first time ever," he said.

I craned my head, and he took my lips in his, kissing me long and soft .

We pulled away, and I rested my head back on his shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered after sitting for a while in silence, listening to the fire pop and the crickets and frogs sing.

"I love you, too."

"Dillon said he and Cade are going to apply to UVA. We're going to apply with them because I want to keep playing with Dillon on the football team there. It's a good school and hard to get into, but we can do it. Our grades are perfect."

This talk reminded me of how I got so lost in Darren's strong presence, often forgetting myself. I'd barely thought about college. I was definitely going, and I could get into most schools, but I hadn't decided if I wanted to leave the state, stay, or what the hell I was going to major in. My life had been pretty planned out until Darren took it over.

But UVA sounded like a good plan. It was a great school. There was no reason why I shouldn't go there. Darren was the one who had to get away from here and away from his father. Being at UVA would mean I wouldn't be too far from my family, either.

On the weekend after my birthday, Dad planned to pick me up and take me out. He wanted to do it last week, but I'd spent the weekend with Darren. Before I left with Dad, I drove Grandad's giant Buick, feeling entirely too small to drive it, as I made my way to the nursing home to visit Mr. Samuelson for about an hour.

He had loosened up, and we talked all the time. He told me tons of war stories and about when his kids were growing up. We tended to avoid the obvious loneliness he had without his family coming to visit.

I wore the pink top Dad got me for Christmas because he would want to see me wearing it. And it might have been my favorite blouse, too .

When I walked into Mr. Samuelson's room after knocking, I found him in bed, reading.

Though he didn't smile much, he did for me.

"Well, hello, Mr. Mallory," he said, putting down his book.

"Hello, Mr. Samuelson."

"How was your birthday?"

My brows rose. "You remembered?"

"Of course." He nodded his head toward his nightstand. "That's for you."

I picked up the small black box. "Now, it ain't much because it's not like I can go out and go shopping."

"Stop. You didn't have to give me anything at all."

I opened the worn box to find a vintage watch with a worn leather strap, looking well-loved and beautiful. "I can't accept this."

"Now, I know it's nothing fancy like you, but that piece has been with me since I was your age. It would mean a lot if you'd take it. My kids don't want the damn thing."

My eyes burned and watered. I was so sad for him, and I hated taking something that was meant for one of his kids, who didn't even want to be around him. What was the point of forgiveness if no one forgave those who tried to do better?

"Well, I didn't mean to make you cry."

I smiled as a tear dropped. "I'm just… touched."

"Hand it over, and I'll put it on you."

I gave him the watch and held out my left wrist as he buckled it in place with bony and trembling fingers.

"It's a little big, but it looks good on you. It's as contrasting as your blouse with your jeans with holes in them."

I held my wrist close and touched the watch's face. "I love it so much. Thank you."

"You might need to reset it, but it doesn't need a battery. You just wind the thing up. "

"I'll always treasure it."

"See, I knew you'd appreciate the watch more than my kids."

Sadness waved through me again. "I'm so sorry."

He waved a dismissive hand. "I'm just glad it has a home. Now, how was your birthday?"

God, I wasn't about to tell him about the sex. "Well, my boyfriend Darren took me camping for the first time as a surprise. I'm not good in the heat… or the cold, for that matter. I don't like bugs, and I fell and scraped my knees, but it was also really sweet. He made me a lopsided cake that was delicious."

"Why would he take you camping? You don't like camping."

I tilted my hips and raised a brow. "Now, how would you know that?"

"You like pretty things, delicate things, and you look like you haven't had a lick of sunlight on you."

I shrugged. "Well, that's true. But Darren was so thoughtful about it all, and I did end up having a good time."

"Tell him to shove the tent up his ass next time."

I snorted a laugh. "Be nice, Mr. Samuelson. Darren's a good person, and I love him. He doesn't always get it right, but that's okay. No one's perfect."

"That's all fine, as long as he gets it right most of the time."

We talked for another thirty minutes before I had to say my goodbyes with promises to be back the following weekend. Then I drove back home to wait for my dad.

My stomach still clenched, and I paced my room when he was late. Despite seeing him more often, old worries that he wouldn't show up resurfaced until there was a knock on the door.

All my tension washed away, and I raced downstairs to greet him.

When he came inside, I rushed into his arms. "Hey, kiddo. How's my birthday boy? Hell, you're not a kid anymore, are you? I still can't believe you're going to be an adult next year. "

"I'll always be your kid."

"Truth."

"Please make sure Christian is back Sunday afternoon. He has a test to study for," Mom said.

"Yes, ma'am."

At least my parents weren't fighting anymore, which lessened my stress and didn't make me feel like I was choosing sides.

"How are you and Darren?" he asked as we drove back to DC.

"We're good. He took me camping for my birthday."

"Camping? I never took you for a camper."

"I'm not, but I had fun."

As he drove, we talked for a while about my volunteer work, Mr. Samuelson, school, and life in general. It was good to reconnect with my father more. I wish Mr. Samuelson's kids would reconnect with him. Forgiveness was so important. No one would try to repair damage or self-improve if people didn't support them along the way.

We finally reached DC and entered the restaurant.

"Sushi?" I gasped.

Dad chuckled. "I know how much you love it."

"Love it? I miss it. There is literally no sushi place close by. That nasty stuff in the grocery store doesn't count."

After we ordered an assortment of sushi rolls, sashimi, and gyoza, we chatted more.

"Mr. Samuelson doesn't like Darren too much, but he hasn't even met him," I laughed.

"Maybe he's got a reason to think that. Older people tend to see more than younger ones with less experience. What does he say about him?"

I shrugged. "He said that Darren shouldn't have taken me camping, but not in such a nice way. That he seems to be driven and doesn't want me to forget about my needs."

"That's sound advice to me, Christian. "

"Yeah, but Darren has to be driven. His home life is terrible. You like him, don't you?"

Dad dipped his albacore into the soy sauce with ginger and popped it into his mouth. "I don't know Darren well enough to make an informed decision. I've only met him twice."

"Yeah, I guess that's true."

"Just don't forget about your needs. Mr. Samuelson is right. It's great to be driven. Hell, I've always been driven. Take it from someone who knows; it can take over your life, and you end up leaving behind those you love. Darren seems to really care about you, but just make sure he doesn't forget about you along the way, as he succeeds in achieving his goals. Or worse, don't forget who you are. And don't do what your mother and I did… not communicate. If these things bother you, then talk to him."

"Thanks, Dad. I'm okay. I love him. Our relationship is really good. He does thoughtful things for me. Camping isn't my thing, but for my birthday, he got me a gift card to a fancy schmancy restaurant."

Dad laughed and grabbed a dumpling. "Well, there you go. Compromise is good, especially with you two being so different."

I chose some fatty tuna and dipped in wasabi and soy sauce, popped it into my mouth, and enjoyed the burn right up my nose. "Darren wants to go to UVA and me to go with him."

"It's a good school, but I would have backup schools just in case."

That was a good idea. I had no intention of ever breaking up—I loved him too much—but plans were good.