24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Darren

There'd been no word or sign from Cade other than one night when he'd ridden his bike in the freezing cold to Dillon's house a week later, only to be forced to return with threats.

Dillon had been genuinely suffering. You really didn't see the demisexuality come out until you were severed from your soul mate. He'd been depressed and buried himself in schoolwork and his part-time job with his mom. Christian, Dean, and I all tried to lift his spirits, but nothing worked.

Cade had been staying with his dad at his grandmother's, but not long after, his dad moved them away. Now, we had no idea where he moved to other than what school Cade went to. But Cade's dad set it up to keep Dillon from even going to the school, claiming he'd hurt Cade. If Dillon had come within a hundred feet of Cade, his dad would have Dillon arrested .

Sometimes, after school, we'd drive around with Dillon just to see if we would accidentally stumble into Cade, but he could be anywhere. Loudoun County had over four hundred thousand people in it.

What made it even worse were the rumors that started to spread about Dillon and Cade being more than stepbrothers, no doubt thanks to Darcy and David.

Now, it was the end of May, and school was over. At least Dillon could breathe a little away from school, and I could focus more on Christian.

My need to protect my boyfriend grew ever since Cade had been taken. If anyone hurt Christian or took him away from me, I'd level the county to bring him back to me. He was my soulmate. I'd give everything up for him.

We were parked in a field on top of a hill, lying comfortably on the bed of my truck, on top of sleeping bags and blankets, staring up at the night sky.

The evening was perfect. It wasn't too hot or too cold, with a light breeze.

Christian was curled into me, running his fingers along my bare chest, having removed my T-shirt earlier.

"How's Mr. Samuelson?" I asked.

"He's hanging in there. We spent time chatting today. Grandma made some homemade fudge that I'd brought to him."

Mr. Samuelson insisted I stop by a few weeks ago to meet him finally. He scrutinized me and asked me a thousand questions, mainly about Christian, making sure I planned to take care of him and protect him.

Of course, I would.

He was intimidating, but there was kindness there, too. He cared about my guy. They had a special bond, and I loved how it made Christian feel good about doing something rewarding.

"Hanging in there?"

"He had some virus last week, but he seems to be okay. "

"I'm glad," I said, rolling over and bringing my lips to his.

My fingers slid through his soft hair, cupping the back of his head as our tongues danced in our mouths. With my other hand, I slid it underneath his simple T-shirt, feeling his soft, smooth, and warm skin. Tonight, he smelled of simple coconut, and his tongue tasted of cinnamon from his gum earlier.

I rolled him onto his back, hovering over him as we continued to kiss, roving my hands over his chest and under his T-shirt. I shoved the fabric over his head, and he helped me pull it off.

After being together for over a year and a half, Christian had finally grown more confident in his height and size. Thank fuck, because no one should see him as anything less than stunning, especially him.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, and the evening crickets sang in agreement.

He smiled, the moon shining down, casting an ethereal glow on him. "So are you."

"Don't ever leave me."

I hadn't meant to let that part slip out, but I wasn't going to take it back, either. It wasn't just about him walking away, but letting anyone take him away.

He rested a warm palm on my face. "You're stuck with me as long as you'll have me."

"I'll have you forever, then."

I pressed kisses on his throat and shoulder before nibbling on a nipple and working my way down his torso. My fingers caught the edge of the elastic band of his joggers and tugged them off, along with his underwear.

Forgetting he had shoes on, I quickly removed those and pulled the rest of his clothes off. I yanked off my basketball shorts and briefs and hovered over him again, holding myself up, so I didn't crush him but low enough that our skin kissed.

His hard dick pressed against me, making my mouth water .

"I need to be inside you," I breathed.

"Then be inside me."

That was all the green light I needed.

I opened a packet of lube from my wallet and dribbled it over him before working him open. Shit, I could do that all day, listening to his whimpers, grunts, and feeling his fingers dig into my forearm.

His eyes were closed, and his plump lips were parted open, glistening in the moonlight after our kiss.

I pulled out my fingers, sat up, pushed his legs back, and lined myself up. Christian and I had done away with condoms since it had only been us together. God, I loved how he felt around me with no barriers.

As much as I wanted to just plunge inside him, I couldn't. Not with my size. I always had to ease in. But the more we did it, the less time it took.

Once I was inside him, my eyes rolled into my head, and the evening stars sparked behind my lids.

Christian pulled me closer with his legs and arms. We were so close that we were of almost one body.

I loved his face as we did it, his head thrown back, his mouth open, grunting and panting. Fuck, I never got tired of looking at him.

Soon, the explosive warm rush spilled out of me. I cried out because no one could hear. No one was around but us, the insects, and the toads.

I quickly pulled out and consumed him, his long fingers digging into my head as he released into my mouth.

"Oh god…" he rasped.

I fell back on the bed of the truck and pulled Christian on top of me. His pounding heart beat against mine as I dragged gentle fingers along his back.

His head rested on my chest, pressing periodic soft kisses there.

"Sometimes I can't believe you're mine, even after all this time we've been together," I whispered.

"Why do you say that? Do you still feel undeserving? "

I shrugged. "Sometimes, yeah. I still get angry periodically, especially when I hear shit said about you, or me, or hell, even Dillon and Cade. There are times I just want to slam my fist into their mouths to shut them up. I hate this rage that I get that still lingers, reminding me I'm my father's son."

Christian sat up, hovering over me, looking down with angry eyes. "You're nothing like him. Nothing!"

I sat up and leaned against the back of the truck, the cold metal prickling my skin. "But I am, though. I've studied enough to know that abused kids can grow up abusive themselves. Or they turn out to be narcissistic assholes from trauma, among other things."

Christian climbed onto my lap, straddling my thighs, and grabbed my face. "Maybe there's some truth to that, but you are not them. You will never be like that. Do you know why?"

I shook my head, but I knew what he was going to say.

"You research, learn, and grow. There's no way you'd let yourself turn into him. And look at me. I l ove you—a person who used to hurt others intentionally. If I trust you, then you should trust yourself. Do you trust me?"

I nodded, but glanced away. "Always."

He pulled my face to look at him. "Dare… you're special, wonderful, smart, sweet, and giving."

I rubbed his bare arms up and down. "I know all these things. Yeah, I research and try to grow, but I'm afraid one day something will trigger me. Some days, I feel worthy of you. Other days, I feel like you could do so much better."

He pressed his lips to mine and pulled back. "No one is better than you. No one."

I pulled him to me and cradled him. "Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being my home. "

"Why would you need to say thanks for that? Again, it's another sign that you feel you don't deserve it when you do. If anyone deserves it, it's you, Dare."

Christian was spending the day with Mr. Samuelson, and I was off work, so I thought I'd pop by for a surprise visit to see how Dillon was.

Ms. Copeland opened the door after I'd knocked on it. She looked strained and stressed, with dark circles under her eyes.

"Oh, hello, Darren. I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, ah, I thought I'd swing by and see how Dillon's been doing. He's been quiet since school ended."

She stepped aside and let me in. "It's still hard around here without Cade. We all loved him. My divorce is being finalized with Cade's father, too, so it's putting extra strain on Dillon and me."

"I'm really sorry you all have to go through this."

She wrapped her arms around her and nodded. "Me, too, but mostly, I'm hurting for Dil. His heart is so broken. God, why must these boys suffer because of one man's prejudices?"

"I wish I knew. My father is like that, too."

She squeezed my shoulder. "Go on up. He's in his room working on some art, or at least I think so. He's been hiding in his room a lot lately, refusing to go into that barn. It used to be his refuge. Now it's a place of pain."

"Hang in there, Ms. C."

"Thanks, Darren."

I really sucked at consoling or fucking brightening someone's day. Christian was my sunshine. Cade was Dillon's. It didn't help that I'd spent years alone in my pain, learning to cope without a support system. It hindered me emotionally, but damn if I didn't try .

I knocked on Dillon's bedroom door.

There was no answer, so I knocked again.

"Dil? Come on. Open up."

"Go away, Dare."

His tone wasn't cruel, but he sounded exhausted and deflated.

I tested the door to see if it would open, and sure enough, it turned easily.

"Dammit, Dare…"

Dillon was curled on his bed, holding a pillow against him. He looked like shit, with greasy hair and swollen blue eyes.

I sat on the edge of his bed and patted his leg. God, I really sucked at this shit.

"Your mom thinks you're creating art."

He said nothing, pressing his nose to the pillow. "It doesn't smell like him anymore."

"Come on. You need to get out of the house."

"I don't want to."

"Don't make me carry you out of here. Let's go for a walk, a swim, fish… anything. I have the day off, so don't make me waste it."

"I can't."

"You can and you will."

I grabbed his arm and tugged him upright. At least he didn't fight me.

I looked around his room, found a Baltimore Ravens baseball hat, and shoved it on his head.

He followed me down the stairs and outside. "Let's go swim in that pond of yours."

Dillon said nothing, shoving his hands into his shorts. At least he still followed.

The pond was medium-sized, and large enough to fish in. A pretty weeping willow tree dangled its long fronds into the water. Dragonflies skirted over the water, and a fish periodically bubbled on the surface. We removed our clothes except for our underwear and waded into the lukewarm water.

I looked at my defeated friend. Dillon and Cade lost their innocence the day they were separated. I used to be jealous of it, even hated it a little. Now, I missed it. They were sweet together, and no one should have stripped that away from them.

Dillon waded next to me, but his eyes were focused downward.

"How are you holding up, Dil?" I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Not good, obviously."

A sob escaped him, and he suddenly pulled me into a hug as he cried, his wet tears spilling over my shoulder. I froze, unsure of what to do. We'd never touched before, other than a fist bump or a handshake.

It reminded me of the crush I used to have on him, always wanting to hold him. Now, Christian was the only one I loved. Any trace of feelings for Dillon was long gone.

I held him back and just let him do his thing. That was the thing about my friend. He was more in tune with his emotions than I ever was.

After a few minutes, he pulled away, sniffing and splashing his face with water. "Sorry."

"It's fine. You're hurting."

"I hadn't meant to fucking cry or… cling to you, but I needed that. Thanks. I feel like I'm grieving."

"You're going to get him back, Dil. This isn't the end."

He nodded. "I'll find him one day. The question is, who will I find at the end of it? It won't be my same Cade."

"It won't, but you won't be the same Dillon, either."

"True. You're a good friend, Dare."

I snorted a laugh. "I'm a lousy friend, but I'm here for you."

He smiled for the first time in months. It was small, but it was something, at least. "You're wrong about that."