11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Darren

I was fucking amped as Dillon and I tossed the ball back and forth, getting ready to start the last game of the season and the championship. We'd only lost one game this year, and now we were playing against Heritage High School, who were undefeated. It was going to be a tough game, but I knew Dillon could get us through it.

After I caught the ball, I tossed it to the ground and walked over to my friend. "You ready for this, Dil? You focused?"

We fist bumped. "I'm ready."

"Let's win this and secure our spots on the varsity team next year."

"We're going to be on there, regardless."

"Never assume. Anything can happen. We make our own magic and don't let the world decide for us."

His smile was crooked, and his blue eyes twinkled in the field lights. "My personal guru. "

I chuckled. "I try."

Dean came up to us and clapped me on the back. "We're going to kick fucking ass!"

"We need to protect our boy," I said, pointing at Dillon.

"We got this."

I'd found Dean to be one of the cooler members of the team, and he was the only one in school, next to my friends, who didn't give me a wide berth.

We chatted with a few of the other team members before I leaned close to Dillon. "Do you think he's here?"

"Who? Christian?"

I nodded.

"Haven't you looked?"

I swallowed, trying to ignore the knots in my stomach, especially since I needed to focus.

"I'm a bit afraid to."

Dillon scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Since when have you ever been afraid?"

I'd been afraid since I came to school after beating Dad beyond recognition and admitting it to Christian. He was supportive and understanding, but the nagging doubts refused to let go of their grip that he was disgusted with me or he would be when he realized what a monster I could be.

"Can you just…"

He smiled and shook his head. "He's here, Dare. I've already seen him. He's sitting between Cade and Dani. Jasmine's here, too."

I finally got the balls to look over to where Dillon was pointing. Several seats up, I saw him. With Christian being as beautiful as he was, you couldn't miss him if you tried. Sure, Dillon was hot, but Christian… he took my breath away. And he was wearing the school's colors. His parka was navy blue, and his scarf, hat, and gloves were all bright yellow. When he saw me, he waved with two yellow-mittened hands .

I smiled like a loon and waved back.

Now, I was extra excited about the game, yet the nerves now rocked through me because Christian would be watching every step of the way.

Dillon grabbed my face mask to make me look at him. "We got this!"

We clanked our helmets together, and I took a deep breath, ready to play.

Heritage got the ball first, so all Dillon and I could do was watch in horror from the sidelines as they ran it down for a touchdown after only two plays.

"What the fuck! Why didn't you stop them? You got fucking steamrolled!" I yelled at the defensive team.

"Dare," Dillon warned. "Positive vibes, man. Let's support each other."

I huffed and pouted. "Fine. Good job , guys. We'll get them next time," I said, but there was no heart in it.

Dillon threw back his head and laughed. "That was fucking pathetic, man. Just leave the uplifting to me. Jesus."

When we quickly huddled, Dillon looked at Mike Jones, who was a fullback. "After the kickoff, we're going to a reverse, feigning the ball toward Jones." Then he looked at our tight end, Mac Cummings. "But you're going to run in the other direction. The ball will be coming to you."

"Got it."

The play worked like magic, as Cummings caught the ball and ran it down to the forty-two-yard line.

The Heritage defensive team was stellar, and it took all I had to keep them from targeting Dillon. I kept them back for the most part, but Dillon was fast, always ready to throw the ball at the intended target. One asshole managed to slip through and tackle Dillon after he'd sent the ball flying downfield to the receiver near the ten-yard line.

On the last play, we barely got it into the end zone and the extra point. Now we were tied .

I did my best not to look for Christian again. I needed to stay focused, and he was a beautiful distraction.

The rest of the game had been fucking grueling. Heritage was just too damn good. Our offensive team was pretty decent, but their offensive team was amazing, trampling over our defense.

The game ended with a score of 21-38, with Heritage winning.

I removed my helmet and ran a hand through my sweaty hair, pissed off for losing. I strived to be the best, but even my best hadn't been good enough.

Dillon sat next to me and clapped my back. "We'll win next year."

"Says you. We played like shit today."

"We did not. We played our asses off. Heritage was just that good, even for a non-varsity team. We'll have to play them again next year as varsity players, so you know what we need to do, right?"

"I know. I know. Work harder."

"Yes. Now we have a good feel for how they play, so we can get our plays down to defeat them next time."

"Promise me we'll win next year and the following year."

"Dare, I can't—"

"Promise!"

Dillon gave me a solemn nod. "I promise. We'll win both championships and get us some awesome scholarships."

"When you figure out what school you're going to, I'll apply there. We belong on the field together."

"You got it."

When Dillon and I came out of the locker room, showered and dressed, I found Christian and Cade waiting for us. God, both boys looked like they were just itching to hug and kiss us. Hell, I wanted to hug and kiss Christian, too. Sometimes I just wanted to tell my future to fuck off .

The four of us went out for pizza, and when I pulled up in front of Christian's house after dinner, we finally got our alone moment to kiss and hold each other.

After making out for a few minutes, Christian scooted closer on the bench seat of my truck and leaned against me. I wrapped an arm around him and held him close. He rested a hand on my chest, and we just sat there in silence, the truck getting cold now that the heater was off.

I loved this. Not just because my Baby Girl was getting happy memories, but simply holding Christian like that was enough for me. It was relaxing and peaceful. I felt wanted. You didn't realize how touch-starved you were until you found someone who cared about you.

I was already falling hard for Christian, but I felt it was too soon. Not to mention, I was a coward. What if I told him, and he'd tell me he couldn't love me? Hell, what was the point if I couldn't share him with the world? It didn't feel right to tell him such things while keeping our relationship hidden. He never complained or demanded more.

"You're thinking really hard," he said.

I smiled and huffed a laugh through his hair, which smelled of coconuts. "Now, how would you know?"

He patted my chest. "I can feel your heart beating faster."

"Your touch does that."

He glanced up at me and rolled his eyes. I lifted a stray lock of hair away from his face, then trailed my fingers down the smooth skin of his face. "I'm sorry that we have to stay hidden."

"It's okay. I understand."

"It's not fair to you."

"You don't think I should decide what's fair to me or not?"

"I suppose."

He sat up and straddled my lap. "One day, when we're in college together, we can be as open as we want. Well, I know not to in front of your team, but we can be open in so many places."

I took a strand of his silk waves and wrapped it around my finger. It was growing long. He had the prettiest hair. "And you see us together that long, gorgeous?"

That he was thinking about our future at all filled me with so much hope that he'd love me back. Tackling my future as hard as I tackled my opponents on the field would definitely feel less lonely with Christian by my side.

"I do."

He leaned forward and rested his head on my shoulder, his warm breath ghosting over the skin of my throat, sending happy chills across my body. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight to me.

I love you.

Christian finally went inside his house after more kissing, and I drove home, no longer filled with dread from our loss tonight, but now I had to enter the place of misery.

Even when Dad wasn't beating on us, the house always had an aura of depression surrounding it. It was so thick you could choke on it.

When I stepped inside, the place was much too cold since we always had to keep the cost of utilities down. But it wasn't only the temperature, but the overall vibe.

Dad stared at the TV, watching some sitcom, always wearing a scowl, but when he looked at me, his eyes grew large and flashed with fear.

I hated how people were afraid of me, but I didn't mind that Dad was.

His battered face was still healing, and his eyes were no longer swollen, but they were black and blue. I had no idea what he told his employer about what had happened, but since no cop came after me, I assumed he'd told no one. He was probably too embarrassed.

We said nothing to each other as I walked back to my room and locked my door. I ignored my mother in her room, not wanting to draw Dad's attention to her .

I stripped down to my underwear, turned out my light, and fell into bed, pulling up the covers around me and curling onto my side. All my good mood with Christian earlier got clouded over by that suffocating fog of hate, depression, anger… this house soaked in every negative emotion you could think of. There was no goodness in here, not like at Christian's house or Dillon's. Their homes were filled with warmth, love, and goodness, something I'd never had before.

Christian gave me that joy I'd struggled to find for so long, and he did it so effortlessly. I wasn't worthy of him. He was a much better person than me, but I was too greedy. I starved for his affection and attention. Christian was pure beauty inside and out, while I was none of those things. I had no idea what he saw in me or why he even wanted a future with me.

My phone buzzed and lit up my darkened room. I grabbed it off the nightstand and saw a text from Christian.

All he sent was a kissing emoji, almost like he could sense my declining mood. That was all it took to lift my spirits. I smiled and sent him one back, too.