10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Christian

Darren missed school yesterday and refused to answer his texts. I'd lost count of how many I sent. Was he mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Was he sick? Hurt? God, I didn't sleep at all last night with all the hypotheticals running in my head.

I stood outside the front of the school where Darren usually parked his truck, pacing back and forth, holding my satchel close. The day was cold and cloudy. The smell of earth and dead leaves filled the air with a hint of winter coming.

Suddenly, my heart stopped when I heard the familiar rumbling of his truck coming up the road. The relief was so great that I nearly threw up all my worries right there on the asphalt.

Soon, I saw the ancient red pickup. It slowly pulled into a parking spot, and when Darren climbed out of it, I wanted to run to him, hug him, and kiss him, but I couldn't. I rushed toward him as he turned around to walk toward the school.

"Dare?"

Darren stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. He looked okay, unable to look me in the eye, but he couldn't hide the anguish all over his face.

"Dare?" I asked again.

He walked over to me and stood so close I could smell his fresh soap and minty toothpaste on his breath. "Hey, Chris."

"You didn't text me back." I wanted to be mad now that I knew he was okay, but the look on his face told me something was really wrong, so I kept my mouth shut.

"I'm sorry… I'm not in a good headspace. It's… not you."

I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or more worried about him. "Talk to me."

"Not here. Will you wait for me after practice? I'll drive you home."

"Yeah, sure."

"We can talk then. Can I walk you to class?"

I smiled for the first time since this weekend. "Yeah."

When he shifted his backpack over his shoulder, I gasped at his bruised and swollen knuckles. "Dare… what happened?" I itched to take his hand in mine and kiss it. It wouldn't make him feel better, but it would me.

He looked at his fingers and shrugged. "I'll tell you about it later today."

"Okay." I really tried to be patient and respect his wishes, and I managed it, barely, as we walked through the halls.

If someone dared try to approach me or say something, Darren would growl at them, and then they'd back off. The bullying had grown substantially less since Darren and I became friends .

Once I reached class, we stood outside in the hall, and Darren stared at his feet, shuffling them on the tiles. "I really wanna kiss you," he drawled quietly.

I smiled like an idiot, all my worries washing away with the need to kiss him, too.

"We can later. Why don't you come over to my place when you drop me off? We can hang out for a bit. You can see my room, and we can work on homework."

That finally pulled a smirk out of him. "I'd like that."

I finally managed to drag Dani and Jasmine to the lunch table where Darren, Dillon, and Cade sat. Darren's eyes grew large when he saw me, and then they softened as he smiled, moving over for all of us to sit. He'd walked me to the cafeteria like always, but I usually went off to the other table. This time, I sensed he needed me there.

"Glad to see you join us, Christian," Dillon said. "Darren's been dying for you to hang out with us."

He burst into laughter when Darren scowled at him.

"Be nice to Dare," Cade said, elbowing Dillon. I'd recently learned they were boyfriends and stepbrothers. I wasn't sure what to make out of that, but I really liked them both, so I tried not to judge.

"Yeah, listen to Cade. Be nice to me."

At least Darren didn't look as upset as he had this morning.

When things settled down, I introduced Dani and Jasmine. They were both shy at first, but Dillon was the chillest one out of all of us, and Cade was the friendliest, who couldn't stop talking, pulling the girls out of their shells.

"I'm finally going to a football game," I said. "I have no idea how to play or what the rules are, but I'll be there. "

"You'll have so much fun. You can sit with me, Christian," Cade said, popping a potato chip in his mouth.

"Okay, thanks."

"I wish people went to my events."

"I go," Dillon insisted.

"You do, but not many others."

I took a bite of my ham and cheese sandwich, looking at Cade because he didn't look very athletic, being smaller and leaner than Dillon and Darren, but what did I know? "Do you play a sport?"

He shoved golden-brown curls out of his face and chugged back some water. "I'm a runner. I do cross-country. Admittedly, it's hard to watch since it's long-distance running."

My breath caught when Darren wrapped his ankle around mine, sending waves of electricity through me. My stomach somersaulted and got all tingly, then my face heated. I hid it behind my sandwich and hands as I took another bite.

"What do you like to do, Christian?" Dillon asked.

"Uhm, I'm allergic to sports."

Everyone laughed, and I giggled. The truth was, I'd always been bullied in P.E. class, so I figured sports would be even worse. "I like fashion? It's not a thing at school, but I play with clothes and stuff at home."

"Oh my god, you've got the best taste," Dani said. "You're going to have to help me change my style."

"Me too!" Jasmine said.

I laughed. "I'd love to."

Soon my friends really warmed up, and by the end of lunch, we were all laughing.

Darren looked around my bedroom, holding Bubbles and petting her head after he dropped his backpack onto my bed, while Bean bounced around my feet. I picked him up, too, just to get him to calm down.

My room probably looked way different from his. I had a lot of fairy lights and some pretty lights around my mirror to give me a glow whenever I put on some light makeup. Cologne bottles littered the top of my dresser next to a jewelry box.

My room was cluttered with fuzzy pillows, anything that had a rainbow on it, necklaces hung on a pretty hook next to my mirror, and cute boys on posters were pinned to my walls.

"I know it's a little much."

Darren looked at me and smiled. "It's perfectly you, and I like you."

My body heated, and I smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"Though I'm not as pretty as those boys on your wall."

"You're prettier." I took his injured hand in mine. "Now, are you going to tell me what happened?"

He sat on my bed and yanked me onto his lap. "I'd rather kiss you."

When he leaned forward to do just that, I pressed a hand to his chest. "We're talking first."

He huffed and pouted, which was too cute, but he shouldn't bottle things up. I doubted he had anyone he could really talk to other than Dillon. Even then, I doubted Dillon knew everything.

"Fine, but I expect an extra-long kiss after."

I wrapped my arms around his thick neck and pecked his cheek. "Deal."

Darren fingered my silky black button-up before reaching for the big bow around my neck, giving it a tug. "I like this one. It looks good with the black sports coat. Like it contrasts with—"

I snorted a laugh. "You're deflecting."

He sighed. "I know we talk about stuff, but I'm not good at talking about emotions and shit."

"I disagree. I have found you to be very open about things. But you can talk about anything with me."

"Thank you. That means something."

Darren tucked a strand of hair behind my ears. I'd been growing it out so I could add curls to it, even if it was already wavy.

"After our date that night, I woke up to screaming…" His entire body stiffened. "Dad was drunk. He doesn't drink often because he has to get up really early in the morning for work, but when he does, it's a lot. I found him beating Mom again, and I just…"

He looked away and tried to ease me off him, a look of disgust on his face, but I refused to budge, holding on tighter to his neck. "It's okay."

"It's not fucking okay. I lost it, Christian. I swear, I blanked out and kept hitting him and hitting him, needing him to feel the same pain he'd inflicted on us for years."

"Jesus… He needs to be in jail."

Darren shook his head. "Mom won't call the cops. I understand, but at the same time, I don't get it. Psychologically, it makes sense why she doesn't leave. Emotionally…" He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I only stay because I'm taking what I can get out of him until I can finally get the fuck out of there and make my own way."

I grabbed his hand and gently ran my thumb over his injured knuckles with my other hand. "You'll get out of there and make a name for yourself. I know it."

He smiled at me. It was soft, sad, and full of pain, but at least he tried. "Now, how do you know that? You haven't even seen me play yet."

"Because you're smart. Because you're motivated and determined. Because you seem to be the type of guy who goes after what he wants and doesn't stop until he gets it."

"Seems you got me all figured out." His tone was full of teasing and affection.

"Yep, I do. "

Then he frowned. "God, I just… I scare myself sometimes. I shouldn't have lashed out like that. Not only because it's wrong, but I could've killed him and ruined my future before it even began."

I touched his face, cupping his scruffy cheek. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days. "You're not him. You're a protector."

"I don't trust myself, Chris."

" I trust you."

"What if I get…"

He didn't need to say it. "You'll never hurt me."

"How do you know?"

God, his pretty green eyes were so full of worry and pain. I could imagine his fears and doubts, especially when he used to be a bully. But he tried so hard to be a better person. Yes, I was afraid of him at first, but as I got to know him, I recognized how strong he really was. Bullies stayed bullies, and they grew up to be cruel adults. But not Darren. Even without therapy, he did all he could to be better, and that made him a good person in my eyes.

"I know, because you're asking those questions. Would you like that kiss now?"

He nodded, and I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. As soon as our tongues started to explore, we fell back onto my bed. My leg draped over his thighs, and his hand slipped underneath my jacket and top, feeling the skin on my back. I felt so small around him, but I also felt safe.

When we came up for air, I ran my fingers through his silky hair. "Next time you're upset, just come over, okay? My family will understand."

"Do you know what calmed me down that night?"

I shook my head.

"You. I thought I'd heard your voice telling me to stop. It was actually Mom, but at first, I heard you. "

I wasn't sure what to say. I wanted to be flattered, but the reason behind it all made me sad. It made me feel a little helpless, needing to protect him as he protected me.