Chapter Two

Hattie

I told Sofia it was a bad idea coming back here. Nix and I were toxic at our worst and a mess at our best. I had refused to let my billionaire best friend foot the cost of moving my mom to New York City, and now I was facing the consequences. Ever since I moved her to the nursing home in town, I felt like I had abandoned her. She wasn’t even that old, but after the accident that killed my father and left her with more medical issues than I could handle, the only person I had to rely on was Mrs. Stratford. My mom and she were friends since they had been in elementary school and the accident had devastated her almost as much as it had me. When she called last week, I shared with her that I didn’t think I’d be able to make it in town for the holidays. The cost of a flight and hotel were just too much and before we hung up, she had purchased my plane ticket and offered me to stay with her family. I was so caught up in the moment, I didn’t even think about the repercussions of staying under the same roof as Nix.

“Did you find your room okay?” Mrs. Stratford said, as I made my way back into the kitchen.

“Yes, I did. Thank you again. I really don’t know what I would have done in the city without mom.” Tears sprung to my eyes quicker than I could wipe them away and before I knew it I was being pulled into the elderly woman’s embrace as she ran her hands down my back in a soothing motion that I missed more than anything else in this world.

“It’s okay, my love, there, there. No need to cry. She’s doing just fine, you know that.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me today.”

“It’s just a lot being back here, I’m sure. I know for Nicholas that big city of yours is a great way to forget about all of us back here. Not that you do that, of course, but it’s different when there is a space between your old life and your new one. Come sit down. I’ll make some cocoa and we can catch up.”

I sat at the counter and listened while she chattered on about people I hadn’t thought of in years. Maybe she was right. The physical distance made things easier. Being back here in this town that was full of so many memories was harder than it had ever been. At least when mom still had the house I would be there with her, but when she moved we needed to sell it to pay for her medical care. Now I was sitting at the kitchen counter at my high school ex-boyfriend’s house and wondering why my life had turned out this way when his was going so well.

“Fuck off.” Charlie’s voice traveled into the kitchen and I didn’t even need to turn to know who he was talking about. I felt Nix the second he came down the stairs, and his presence only grew stronger when he stepped into the kitchen.

“Ma, I’m going to take the van into town. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good, but why don’t you take Hattie with you? I’m sure she’d like to see her mom before dinner tonight.”

“I’m sure Rashid can give her a ride. I have a few stops to make.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. If you’re already leaving, then it makes sense for you to take her.”

I wanted the ground to swallow me whole when he turned his gaze on me. “How did you get here, anyway?”

“I took an Uber from the airport. I can take one to see my mom. It’s no big deal.”

“See, problem solved.” He said, leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of Mrs. Stratford’s head.

“You will not.” She said, turning her gaze towards me, “Nix, why are you being so rude?”

“I’m not—“

“Really, Mrs. Stratford, it’s fine.”

“Go get your coat on. He’s taking you.” She said in the same voice we would hear as kids after running off and getting ourselves into trouble.

I sat through the most uncomfortable ride into town in complete silence. Nix didn’t say a word to me, just pulled up in front of the nursing home and stared ahead as I got out of his mother’s car. Seeing her was great, but afterwards I had no idea how I was supposed to get home. I headed back outside, pulling my phone out of my pocket to call for an Uber. We were small-town people, but there had to be a driver somewhere. I stepped out into the frigid cold and jumped when I heard a horn beep. Looking up, I realized my mistake. I had just about stepped in front of a car that was pulling under the overhang and the only thing that stopped me was the loud horn that came from across the street. I stood there like a deer in headlights as the man driving the car started yelling at me out the window to move. But I couldn’t. I was completely paralyzed at that moment, and the only thing I could see was Nix running across the road in my direction.

He pulled me into his chest and yelled for the guy in the car to go around us as my body shook at the shock of everything that had just happened.

“Hattie, hey, look at me… you’re okay. I’ve got you.” he said as he moved his hands up my body and cupped my face, staring down at me. “You’re okay.”

I nodded my head, “I’m okay.”

“Come on, let’s get out of the cold.”

With his arm around me, I let him guide me to the car and help me into the passenger’s seat. He leaned in and buckled my seatbelt, and by the time he made it back around to the driver’s seat, I felt like I could finally take a deep breath and not fall apart. He started the car, then looked over in my direction. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from him, but that wasn’t anything new. Nothing I felt around Nix was new. It was all old memories, childhood dreams, and heartbreak.

“What are you doing here?” I finally choked out.

“I was waiting to pick you up.”

“But you just left. I didn’t think you were coming back. That’s why I was on my phone. I was going to get an Uber to come get me.”

He sat there staring at me. The silence between us was painful. “Of course I was coming back for you Hattie, I always do.”

I watched as he put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking space. The beeping horn had been him. If he wasn’t sitting out there waiting for me, then who knows what would have happened. It’s not like the car was going very fast, but still a shiver ran through me at the thought of me getting hurt, leaving my mother with no one. I watched as we drove down familiar streets and passed houses we had played in with friends as kids. Businesses had closed, and some had reopened as something new, but there was one place that was still standing and looked just as it had when we went there for our first drink at twenty-one.

“What are we doing here?”

“I could use a drink, and I think you could too.”

Nix got out of the car and came around to open my door. I had boots on but the ground was slippery from ice and snow and he reached for me the second I stepped foot on the ground. Just like old times, we made our way into the bar with his arm around my waist and my hands clinging to him as if it were a common occurrence even after all these years.

“Well, look who the cat dragged in! You two are the last people I would have thought would show up here on Christmas Eve.” Mariah Ansley, resident bartender and former high school cheerleader shouted out the second our eyes adjusted to the dark lit room. The old pool table that I had lost my virginity on still sat in one corner and the smell of old liquor nearly knocked me out, but it was the best our town had and for some reason, Nix felt this was where we needed to be.

“Hey Mariah, good to see you.” he said as she came around the bar and pulled him into a hug. When she stepped back, she just gave me a nod and turned her attention back to Nix. I went to step out of his grasp, but his hand tightened around mine. The jealousy that I was accustomed to with him around sparked and I just shook my head. I was the awkward, chubby teenager that Mariah and her crew tortured all over again. It only took a matter of seconds for it all to come flooding back, and I wanted to scream. That wasn’t who I was anymore. Mentally, I knew that, but it was still so hard. Nix looked over at me as Mariah was going on about something that he didn’t seem interested in at all and I stood a little taller. He always hated when I made myself smaller in an attempt to disappear.

“Mariah, I hate to cut you off, but we are going to grab that booth over there. Can you bring Hattie a vodka water and a beer for me? Actually, make that two.”

“Uh, yeah sure. Coming right up.”

She turned on her heel, giving me a death stare in the process, and Nix pulled me into the circular booth in the corner. We spent way too many nights here in our younger years, and it felt like we were on a walk down memory lane.

“So how’s your mom?” he said as soon as Mariah put our drinks down in front of us.

“Okay, I guess. I know it’s better for her to be there, but this is the first Christmas since we sold the house. The last few years, it’s only been the two of us, but I think she still wishes she were home for Christmas. I promised her I’d go back tomorrow and spend time with her.”

“Can she leave?”

“Like for good?”

“No, like for a visit. Can we bring her to my house so she can spend the day with all of us?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I mean, I can take her out for a visit, of course, but I don’t want to interfere anymore than I already am on your family’s holiday.”

“Don’t be like that Hattie, I wouldn’t have asked if I thought it was a problem. My mom would love to have her with us, you know that.”

“But you all have your own holiday traditions and we would just be in the way. I’m fine coming back up here and spending the day with her. It would be for the best, anyway.”

“How long are you here for?”

“Just until Monday, I have to get back to work.”

“Are you still at the diner?”

“Yeah, it’s okay. The tips are good.”

Nix raised a hand in Mariah’s direction and I realized I had already finished my drink. His two beers were empty, and the liquid was going down way too quick. I had a two drink minimum before I got handsy and he knew it.

“What?” he asked, looking over at me.

“What are we doing here, Nix?”

“I told you, I needed a drink.”

“There are drinks at your parents.”

“What’s your point?”

The look he was giving me made me want to crawl into his lap and beg for forgiveness, and I hadn’t even done anything wrong. Why did he always have to look so fucking good? His long hair was tied back, leaving his sharp features on display. He had grown a short beard, but it worked for him and the tattoos on his hands brought memories of his roughened skin running over my body in the best way possible. Life wasn’t fair. Men shouldn’t be this good looking. Especially men I used to date.