Chapter One

Nix

“ I t’s not like I ask for much. All I wanted was for you to clean yourself up a bit for Christmas Eve dinner.”

“Ma, I am cleaned up. What more do you want?”

My mother turned from the stove and walked over to where I was sitting at the counter.

“You could have shaved this,” she said, pulling at my beard.

“It’s not even that long right now. I got it trimmed before I got on the road. I didn’t want it to freeze while I rode.”

“Nicholas Michael Stratford, I swear one of these days you are going to put me into an early grave worrying about the way you drive that motorcycle around in the dead of winter.”

“Not funny.”

As the youngest of five, I was always the one getting pushed around. Then three years ago I moved away and for the first time in my life, I figured out who the hell I was. Growing up a Stratford in our town left a lot to be desired. There were too many expectations that I wasn’t interested in upholding. Now I worked for a high end tattoo shop in New York City, rode my Harley anywhere I went, and didn’t give a shit about who I fucked over in the process. It was freeing, it was life, it was my mother’s worst nightmare.

The back door opened and my asshole brothers made their way in. Even though I looked as if I could kick any of their asses at a moment’s notice, I was flicked, pinched and poked as they all walked by.

“Did you tell him yet?”

“Tell me what?”

“No. I wanted it to be a surprise.” My mother answered my older brother Rashid before answering me.

“Some surprise.” Julius added.

“Why does it seem like I’m the only person who doesn’t know what’s going on here?”

“Because you are. Honestly, Nix, you should be used to it by now.”

“You didn’t.” I said, turning back to my mother.

“I did. And before you say anything, this year is different.”

I pushed back from the counter and went to the fridge. With a beer in hand, I didn’t even bother with any more questions. It was fucking freezing outside, which made a ride pointless unless I wanted to die of hypothermia. So instead, I stood on the back porch and tried my best to calm down. I began chanting in my head that I wouldn’t lose my shit on my well-meaning mother. Every damn Christmas she would invite some girl she met to dinner to set me up. I was the youngest of the bunch, but I also lived on the other side of the state. In her crazy mom mind, she thought if she found someone for me here then I’d move back. I love my family, but there is no way in hell I’d ever move back to this town and they knew it.

The back door banged open, and I looked to find Rashid standing there. “You know she doesn’t mean anything by it, right?”

“Yeah, I know, but it doesn’t make it any better. Do you remember last year?”

He laughed, “That little church girl ran so fast she nearly fell down the steps when she saw you.”

“I swear sometimes I have no idea where she finds these people.”

“This year you may be pleasantly surprised.”

“Have you met her?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“And, I’m not blowing this for mom. You’ll see who she chose for you when she gets here tonight.”

“Tonight? Christmas isn’t until tomorrow.”

“This one has special circumstances. She’s staying here in Charlie’s room.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, him and Mick aren’t too happy about it either. Something about Mick’s snoring and Charlie’s inability to sleep through it.”

“She has lost her mind, hasn’t she?”

“Who Ma? Yeah, but that happened years ago after raising five boys.”

I shook my head in disbelief. She invited a random woman to sleep in our house the night before Christmas, knowing damn well what a disaster this place is going to be tomorrow. Since none of us were married or had kids, she always went a little overboard with the holiday. I would never admit it to anyone, but she still makes my dad dress up as Santa and deliver us all gifts. This year, things may be different. Dad’s arthritis was terrible, and I watched Rashid help him to bed last night. He refused to let me help, probably because he doesn’t want me to know how bad it’s gotten. I wish I could have been that son for him. The one who he came to when he needed things, but Rashid was always that person. In his eyes, I was the fuck up that took off and refused to stay near family.

“Come on. I’m freezing to death out here. Let’s go in and watch mom state a million reasons why you need to be the first one to get married.”

Much to my dismay, my mother sent me marching off to wash up and change before our guest got here. By the time I stepped out of the shower, I could already hear the commotion downstairs. I cracked open the bathroom door to see if I could hear who the heck was causing such chaos, only to be stopped by the sound of a voice I hadn’t heard in over two years. A voice that used to plague my dreams and my nightmares equally. I pushed the door shut and leaned up against it, closing my eyes to the onslaught of memories that invaded my mind. Of all the fucking people my mother could have invited here, it had to be her.

I dried off and wrapped a towel around my waist as I tried to slow my breathing. My mother didn’t know what went down between the two of us in New York City, so it’s not like I had that to worry about. But why in the world would Hattie be here? We had an agreement when we both went our separate ways. Distance was the only thing that would keep us both sane because together we were a mess. I needed to put an end to this madness before it went any further. I opened the door to the bathroom and turned to my room to grab clothes, but instead of a clear hallway, I ran right into Hattie, who yelped as I grabbed her to keep her from falling down the stairs. Fuck, she smelled amazing. That sugary vanilla scented perfume she wore invaded my nostrils and hardened my cock in an instant.

I looked down at her and caught her shocked expression. Her small hands were on my damp chest and a look of panic was in her eyes. That’s when I realized in my rush to keep her from falling, I lost the tiny ass towel that was covering me. Now my hardened cock pressed into the front of her, hiding absolutely nothing.

“If you wanted me naked again, then all you had to do was ask. No need to fly all the way back to Western New York.” I said with a laugh, hoping to lighten the mood, but it only made things worse. She pushed herself back from me and bent to grab my towel.

“Have some decency Nix, your mother is downstairs.” she spit out in an angry whisper.

I took the towel from her and wrapped it around my waist. “If you were concerned about her, then you wouldn’t be here.”

I stepped around Hattie and took the few remaining steps to my room, slamming the door behind me. I tried to remove her from my thoughts, but her scent was still on my skin. It made me crazed with need and just when I didn’t think I could take much more, my door flew open and she came charging in.

“I don’t know what you think is happening here, but whatever it is, forget it.”

The way she tried to both yell at me and whisper made me laugh, “What I think is happening here? What about you? It’s not like you don’t know what she’s up to. Fuck, Hattie, don’t play stupid. We both know you are smarter than that.”

She took a deep breath and held it while shaking her hands out at her sides, an old relaxation technique she used to use when we would argue. The familiarity of it made my chest hurt.

“Listen, I tried to call you, but your old cell number was disconnected. I reached out to the shop, but they said you already left for the holiday. I had no other way of warning you I was coming. I’m only here because of my mother. Believe me, if I had anywhere else to stay, I would, but when your mom called and offered me the chance to have Christmas here in town so I could spend time with my mom at the nursing home, I couldn’t pass it up. I know what she thinks she’s doing, and I’ve been very clear with her that nothing will happen between the two of us. What she chooses to believe is her own problem.”

“And mine.”

“But not mine. My problem is, what you think is going to happen while I’m here.”

“Nothing, absolutely fucking nothing.”

“Maybe you should tell that to your dick.” she said, tilting her head.

This was insanity. I closed the space between us and reached for her neck, pushing her up against the wall. “Listen to me, little girl. If I wanted you, then I would have you. We both know that. There was an agreement in place and you’ve broken it. Now you are here, in my family home, and you think you can call the shots? Fuck that.” I growled into her ear as she reached for my arms and whined.

I know what I was doing, and I didn’t fucking care. I’d strip her out of the oversized clothes she had on covering all those soft delightful curves and fuck the shit out of her right now if I needed to make a point. But I didn’t. She got the point years ago when she walked out on me.

“Just keep your space, Hattie. It will be easier for all of us that way.” I said, letting her go and watching as her body sagged against the wall. I stepped back, looking down at her and damn if I didn’t want to scoop her into my arms and fulfill the need I saw in her eyes. Suddenly, regret and worry crossed her features, and I felt like I had just kicked a puppy. I ran my hand through my hair and turned my back on her. We had done this before, the need, the pain, the heartache all spawned from lust.

A minute later, I heard the door close and something inside of me felt like it had died all over again.