Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

January 25 th

2:32 A.M.

He picked her.

Lucy was still smiling about that when they finally started their descent onto the landing pad on the top of Prey's building.

She knew she still had a long way to go convincing Zander to give them a chance, to prove to him that he would never knowingly hurt her, but at least she had this. Because for a moment there, she knew he had been all ready to sacrifice himself in the jungle to get her on that helo. For some strange reason, she seemed to be able to sense what Zander was thinking even when he didn't verbalize it, or even give it away with his expression. So, she'd known he was going to stay behind, and allow the men to capture him if it meant getting her up onto the helo and safe.

But she didn't want him to sacrifice himself.

Even though she knew he felt like he did, he had nothing to make up for. What had happened to his team was nothing short of tragic. It was horrific, the thought of anyone dying that way was almost too much, but each one of those men understood the lives they had chosen. She wished they had made it home alive, that help had come sooner, but what had happened was not Zander's fault.

How did she make him understand that?

Could she?

Or was she being majorly na?ve?

Regardless, she wasn't giving up on Zander. Not now. Not ever.

He was a warrior who fought for his country, fought to get rid of evil, and fought to make the world a safer place. But right now, he needed her to fight for him. He needed her to be the same kind of warrior he was, strong and brave, tough and smart. It might be the biggest battle of her life, but she was ready and willing to fight it.

Because if she was successful then the payoff would be more than worth it.

She was absolutely counting it as a win that Zander had held her the entire flight. The SEAL team who had come in for them was the same one that had helped to save Scarlett just a week or so ago when she had been kidnapped by Raul Castillo the second time. She didn't know the guys on Blake "Rocco" Wise's team very well, but she liked them. They were smart and fair, they hadn't judged Scarlett by the false evidence against her, and it was partly because of them that her friend was still alive.

Other than when the guys had been tending to their injuries, giving her fluids, antibiotics, and painkillers, she'd been in Zander's lap. Even when she was sitting on her own seat, he'd been scowling at whichever one of Rocco's team was touching her, even if it was just checking her pulse, cleaning and bandaging wounds, and setting up an IV.

Now the IV was gone, a Band-Aid on the inside of her elbow covering the tiny puncture wound, and they were all waiting to land. As excited as she was to get back home because she had been so sure that it would never happen, she was apprehensive, too.

Right now, she had Zander, but what happened when they landed?

Would he stay?

Leave?

Did he have a choice?

If whoever he was working for called him back in, he would have to go, she understood that. But she was also hoping that Eagle Oswald—founder and CEO of Prey Security—had enough sway to have Zander stay and help them take down Raul, since he likely had more intel on the man than they did. Maybe something he knew might even point to the identity of the mole at Prey.

When the rotors stopped spinning and the guys all stood, Lucy did, too. She was surprised, but pleasantly so, when Zander took her hand and laced their fingers together. Hand in hand, they stepped out of the helo onto the roof, and almost immediately, three figures were rushing toward them.

The next thing Lucy knew, she was being wrapped up in the embraces of her team. Ella, Cassie, and Scarlett were all crying, all talking over the top of one another as they asked how she was, where she'd been hurt, what had happened to her, and if she was okay.

Since there was no way she could answer all those questions at once, she simply held onto them and soaked up the feel of their hugs. For someone who wasn't much of a crier, she was a little surprised to find a fresh wave of tears tumbling down her cheeks. Maybe the toll of the last week was catching up with her. A hot shower, a call to her family to hear their voices, and comfort food were all high on the list.

But Zander was on the list, too.

Time with him when he wasn't undercover and lying to her, where they weren't in danger and running for their lives, when they could just be together and get to know one another, that was what she wanted. And she definitely wouldn't say no to another round of amazing sex.

When she realized she was no longer holding his hand, and that he'd taken a few steps back as though he didn't belong here by her side, Lucy gently extracted herself from her friends' embraces.

"I'm okay," she assured them. "I have a whole ton of bruises, a broken arm, probably some cracked ribs, and all I want to do is sleep for about a month. But I'm alive, and it's all thanks to Zander."

As though they'd all forgotten he was even there, everyone's attention suddenly shifted to him, and she could feel his uneasiness even though his stiff posture didn't alter. She knew that the last her friends had heard, she was on a plane with Scarlett's supposedly dead brother, and they all wondered if maybe he was somehow involved in everything that had gone down with Scarlett, the mole, and the weapons dealer.

"Zander was undercover," she quickly explained. She had no idea what they knew and what they didn't, and she didn't want anyone looking at him with suspicion. While he would never tell anyone or say it out loud, their accusations would hurt him. Already he blamed himself for the deaths of his team, and having people place more blame on his shoulders when he was already carrying such a heavy burden would be more than he could handle.

"We heard," Cassie told her.

"Eagle caught us up on the fact that Zander was working to bring down a terrorist cell," Ella added.

Scarlett said nothing. She was too busy glaring at her twin brother.

Tate Laurier, a SEAL whose team had been called in to help locate Scarlett when she had been kidnapped the first time and was now dating her, stepped up beside her and took her hand.

"Don't say anything you'll regret," Tate said softly to Scarlett, but it was clear from her expression that she wasn't listening. Scarlett was a sweet woman, one who Lucy had long since admired because she went after what she wanted and didn't get deterred when there were bumps along the way.

But right now, Scarlett wasn't thinking clearly.

Grief and betrayal were hard to deal with, and when they came from the one person who had always been there for you, who you loved so much, it was even worse. Then add in that she'd been framed as a traitor and almost lost her life because of it, and Lucy worried it was too much for her.

"He didn't have a choice, Scar," Lucy said, moving so she was between the brother and sister. While maybe her loyalty should be to her friend and team member, she felt too much for Zander to allow him to take more hits than he already had, even if that meant protecting him from her friend's anger. Anger she understood but knew that once Scarlett heard what had happened to her brother would fade away.

At least, she hoped it did.

Because if it didn't, Lucy wasn't just going to be fighting against Zander's guilt driving a wedge between them, but Scarlett's anger as well.

Ignoring her, Scarlett glared at her twin. "You let me believe you were dead. When I called Mom and Dad to tell them you weren't, they said they already knew. You told them the truth, Zander, yet you lied to me. How could you do that? Didn't you care that you were hurting me? Shutting me out and joining the military to get Mom and Dad to love you was one thing, I didn't understand it, but I didn't want to lose you completely over it. But letting me believe you had died, that's something I can't get over."

"Scarlett," Lucy warned, taking another step closer to Zander so she was by his side. Because she wanted everybody to know where she stood, she reached out and took his hand. Surprised faces looked from her to Zander to their joined hands. Even Zander looked down at them as though he couldn't quite believe she would be so blatant about their teeny, tiny, little possible fledgling relationship.

But playing games wasn't her style. She'd told him that and promised to be there for him. Did he not think that meant standing up for him with his sister?

"You need to listen to him," she told her friend. "Once you hear what happened, you'll understand why he had to do what he did. I don't like that he hurt you, I told him that, but I do understand."

Anger crackled in the air, arcing from Scarlett to her brother. "If you think I'm ever going to understand how my own twin brother could let me suffer thinking that he was dead, then you're crazy."

With that, Scarlett turned and stalked away, leaving pain flowing in waves off the man standing beside her.

January 25 th

2:54 A.M.

He'd lost her.

The only family he'd ever really had.

That thread that had always tied them together as twins snapped as Scarlett walked away from him.

Zander had never intended to tell his sister he was alive, not after how his parents had reacted. Branding him a failure, they had reiterated every single thing he'd been feeling about the ordeal. His guilt, his remorse, and his anger. How could he face the only person whose opinion of him mattered when the people he'd been trying so hard to please had confirmed his worst fears about himself?

That was the moment he'd known he was done trying to earn their love.

Quite simply they didn't have any real meaningful love to give.

Then he'd been approached to go undercover and never expected to come out the other side alive. What was the point in making his twin mourn him twice?

Now, though, he's lost her.

Lost his sister, and he was pretty sure he was never getting her back.

Fingers squeezed his, and then lips brushed a kiss to his jaw. "She's angry right now. She loves you a lot and your death hit her hard. I don't say that to make you feel bad, I know why you did what you did, but she doesn't. All she knows is you chose a job over her. Again. She just wants your love, she wants back the brother she remembers from when you two were kids," Lucy told him.

"I made a mistake trying to get my parents to love me. They aren't worthy of my love, my respect, or anything else. If I'd picked Scarlett and my relationship with her over them, none of this would have happened." He wouldn't have joined the Army, wouldn't have made it to Delta, and maybe the lives of his teammates would have been spared.

"You can't think like that, Zander. You're good at what you do, I can attest to that, and in Delta, you saved so many lives and stopped so many people who would have done unspeakably evil things. I'm glad you're the man you are, I just hate my friend got hurt along the way. But that doesn't change the promise I made you. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere."

Her words were so confident, her intent so clear, that he couldn't not grab her and drag her close so he could kiss her. "Thank you. You're more than I deserve, Lucy Elrod."

The smile she shot him was pure sass. "I'm going to remind you that you said that," she teased.

"So, you guys are … together?" Ella asked, her green eyes full of curiosity.

"Because that we did not see coming," Cassie added.

"We're seeing how things go, but yes we bonded out there," Lucy replied, giving him the option of an out if he wanted one.

Since he was in no position to make plans for the future, he merely maintained his grip on Lucy's hand as they all headed for the lift that would take them down to the conference room.

Well, the rest of them would go there, but Lucy had to go to the hospital. Her arm needed to be x-rayed so doctors could see if it needed surgery. And she should be properly checked out after her seizure as well. He knew she had epilepsy and didn't necessarily go to the hospital every time she had a seizure, but given the drug she'd been pumped full of, he wanted her to be thoroughly examined.

"One of you needs to take Lucy to the hospital," he said to Ella and Cassie as they all got into the lift.

"I'm not going to the hospital," Lucy protested, sounding aghast at the prospect.

"Your arm, babe," he reminded her. Unsure if she wanted her friends to know she'd had a seizure, he didn't mention that.

"Can wait until the debrief is done. I'm not leaving you alone here without backup." The way she said it made it clear arguing was going to be futile, and a big part of him didn't want to anyway. That she was so determined to be there for him and have his back had a delicious warmth spreading through him.

"As soon as it's done, you go to the hospital." That was non-negotiable. After everything she'd been through, she needed a doctor, not just a medic. Those guys were trained to deal with gunshot wounds and things, keeping a patient alive until they got to a doctor, so as grateful as he was to the SEALs, he still needed to know his girl had been seen by someone with a medical degree.

"I'll go if you go. You did get shot remember."

Actually, he'd forgotten all about the wound. It was nothing more than a flesh wound. He'd lost a bit of blood but now he was fine. Still, he wasn't going to argue against a reason to spend more time with Lucy. When everything felt so up in the air and unsettled it was nice to have something solid to hold onto.

"We'll go together," he agreed.

"Aww, you two are really very cute," Cassie said, watching them with curiosity. The youngest member of Athena Team was a verifiable genius. Despite her high IQ, Cassie had an innocence that made her incredibly endearing. While he'd been attracted to Lucy from the beginning, he'd felt more of a brotherly vibe with Cassie. And the least connection of all to Ella, although the woman was sweet and a talented musician.

"We're not cute," Lucy said, making a face that made the rest of them laugh.

"You are," Ella agreed. "I can't believe that first Scarlett and Tate fell in love, and now you two are … bonded from your experience," she finished although it was clear she'd been going to say they were a couple.

Even though he wanted to claim Lucy in that way, making sure everybody knew she was his and he was hers, he wasn't ready to take that step yet. He had to be sure that the darkness curled inside him ready to spring out like it had when he'd caught that man assaulting Lucy was not going to be a threat to her.

"Bonded," Lucy echoed, and from her expression she was completely satisfied with that description for now.

By the time they reached the conference room, everybody else was there. Eagle Oswald himself, the team of former SEALs who now ran Prey's East Coast office, Rocco's SEAL team who were going to be sticking around until Raul and the mole were in custody, and Scarlett and her boyfriend.

Much as he'd love to be able to go to his sister, make her smile like he used to do when they were kids, tickle her till tears of laughter rolled down her cheeks, or make silly jokes until he had her giggling and forgetting what had made her sad in the first place, he couldn't do that anymore.

It wasn't his place.

The distance between them was his own fault. Enlisting had been the first step, and it had all culminated in the lie about his death.

There likely wasn't a bridge on Earth long enough to breach that distance now.

"You should talk to her," Lucy said quietly, following his gaze. "Once she understands she'll get over her anger. She loves you, Zander."

That he believed.

It just wasn't enough.

Not for the mistakes he'd made. It was asking too much of his twin when he hadn't given her anything in return for so long. Not since childhood. They'd been thirteen when they were first split up, and looking back now, it was the beginning of the end. If they'd stayed together in foster care, he likely wouldn't have been able to break her heart by joining the military.

"Talk to her," Lucy said again.

"Okay," he agreed, it wasn't like it could make things worse.

Drawing in a breath, he released Lucy's hand, even though it felt like being out in the ocean and letting go of your life preserver, and crossed the room to where his sister stood with her arms crossed and a frown on her face. But beneath the anger he saw her pain. She wasn't trying to be mean to him, to hurt him, she'd just grieved him and then learned she'd been lied to. Of course she was angry, it was only natural. He just had to pray that one day she could understand he hadn't wanted to hurt her, he'd just thought she was better off without him in her life.

"Scar, can we talk so I can explain?" he asked.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say," Scarlett said, unshed tears shimmering in her eyes. Then her gaze shifted to something behind him, and he knew she was looking at Lucy. "And if I lose someone I care about because you come between us, I'll never forgive you for that either."

The threat to end whatever it was he had with Lucy hung between them. It hurt that his sister would try to take away the only thing he had when she already had so many people who loved her, but he had to remind himself that she was acting out of her own hurt.

Still, it latched onto his doubts and compounded them. If he wasn't good enough for his own twin, how could he ever hope to be enough for a woman like Lucy?