Chapter 27 Choices

Two weeks later, we're all sitting around the fire pit after dinner, which has become part of our routine. Work all day on the obstacle course, breaks for lunch and dinner, then relax at the fire and share stories.

"Obstacle course is pretty much done," Foster says.

"You happy with it?" Knox asks.

The kids have helped Foster build a complicated obstacle course and set up a full security system around the property.

"It's awesome," Foster replies and Knox grins, taking pride in his work. As the oldest, he's the unspoken leader of his friends and he takes charge whenever Foster's not there to guide them.

"Feels good to get a compliment. I don't think my dad ever once did that," Knox says.

I share a look with Foster because Knox relates a lot of things back to his biological father, and we're pretty sure he's the one who caused the scars on Knox's back.

"You gotta let the past go, Knox." Easy for me to say to him while I'm still dealing with a lot of guilt and regret about my family and the time I lost .

"Not like I'm going back to Hawaii to get revenge. Leave the past in the past, dude." Mace hasn't told us his whole story. Just that he came to California from Hawaii as a kid and his adopted parents died a few years ago.

"It's not in the past," Knox replies. "It's in here and in there," he points to his heart and then Sutton's, "every damn day. It's there right now."

"Chill, Cutter." Remy shakes his head. He's shared with us that he got kicked out of his house when he was fourteen. He hooked up with Mace and Knox and they became "brothers" by surviving on the street and trying to get by. Remy gave Knox the nickname of Cutter because of his scars. I'm not thrilled with his new name, but Knox accepted so it's stuck. Remy seems to be the most easy-going of the three kids and sort of a calming force when Sutton and Knox have disagreements.

It's been fun getting to know this group. Part of me is sad the obstacle course and security system are done. I'll miss them when they're gone.

***

Later that night, we're alone in our room. Everyone has gone to bed. I sit down on the bed and watch Foster pace the floor. I know we're both thinking about what to do next. We could send them back to Santa Cruz with some extra cash, but the thought of saying goodbye to them makes us both sad .

"Do you need them to build anything else?" I ask Foster.

He smiles at me and smirks. "Was thinking of adding a few cabins."

I have to smile back. "Good idea."

"A boxing ring, an octagon, a target for throwing hatchets." He sits next to me on the bed and takes my hand.

"Hatchets?"

He shrugs. "Cutter's idea."

"I can't get used to their nickname for Knox. Cutter? I mean, isn't that mean?"

"Mace, Remy, and Cutter have their own thing going. What the nickname means to them, we don't know yet. Might never know."

I pat his hand and kiss his cheek. "I think it would be fun if they helped us build all those projects you have in mind."

"You think they'd be open to it?" he asks me.

"I think they would. They're adjusting to being here. Loosening up."

"I noticed that too."

"Sutton asked me to show her how to put on makeup."

"She did? "

I nod. "It was sweet. I like her so much. I don't see how we can just send her back to the streets. Let's ask them to stay."

He nods and looks down. We're both thinking it, but I'm the one who's going to say it out loud. "Things go well, we might look into adopting them?"

He shakes his head. "I'm too young to be their dad."

"No you're not. You're twenty-seven. Knox is the oldest and he's only sixteen. Sutton's only thirteen. They're younger than you were when Henry took you in."

He stares down at his feet. "I've always wanted that but… I don't know nothing about it. How do you become a parent?"

"You tackle it like you've taken on everything that's come your way. Try, fail, work hard, practice it, master it. One thing I know about you, Foster, is you're disciplined and dedicated." I run my hands through his hair, comforting him by combing from his temple to his neck.

He reclines back on the bed and pulls me down next to him. My head rests on his strong bicep.

"Kids do stupid shit," he says, looking at the ceiling.

"We all do. And we all need a safe place to land. Isn't that what you've wanted your entire life?"

"I found it with you." He looks down and stares into my eyes.

"Maybe "us" is a family with imperfect kids and some mixed-breed rescue dogs. "

His gaze softens and warms. "You really want to adopt them?"

I nod. "And some rescue dogs."

He chuckles and his hand rubs my hip and back. I love cuddling with him like this and talking about all the possibilities.

"It would have to be my rules," he says with one eyebrow raised.

I frown at him. "We'd have to negotiate rules we can both live with."

He nods. "I'd want them to be free to come and go. No family obligation like the bullshit you dealt with. If they're here, it's by their own choice."

"Agreed."

"I'd want it to be unconditional." His voice breaks. "If they fuck up, we still love them. They have to know that and believe it. We have to live it like that."

The emotion in his voice makes my heart squeeze and eyes sting. This is who we're meant to be. The idea is taking seed in my soul and blooming like kindling in a fire.

"What would you want?" he asks me.

I chew on my bottom lip and think. What would I want? "I'd want this place to be a refuge, assuming we're staying here. But wherever home is, I want them to feel safe. They shouldn't bring people from their pasts up the mountain. They should leave all that at the bottom of the hill."

He nods. "Smart."

"I'd want to have Sunday dinners." He lowers his chin and looks up at me from under his lashes. The Sunday dinners at the Bianchi's were always a disaster. "We'd make it work. We'd actually communicate. I want to have parties that are fun. Not obligations."

He sighs and pulls my leg up over his hip. "Are we doing this?" he asks me and squeezes my knee.

I wrap my arm around his neck and smile. "Let's invite them to stay while we build the cabins. We'll take it one day at a time."

He leans in and gives me a soft, warm kiss. I love my Unstoppable Foster Twist's kisses. I'll love them forever.

He pulls away and stares into my eyes. "I want to marry you."

I gasp and my stomach plummets. I sit up and glare down at him. "What?" Is he proposing?

"After your first triathlon," he continues.

I blow out a long slow breath. "What do you mean?"

He sits up next to me, his arm still around my back. "You need to do that for yourself. Not as part of us. You do it before we're married. It's important for you to do it on your own. I'll be there. "

Hmm. Not sure I like him putting conditions on us, but I get it. I've put off doing it for too long. Now's the time. Which reminds me. "Okay, then you should win the Round Table Gauntlet first," I say with challenge in my voice.

He exhales and starts kissing me, sending tingles through my body. After a few minutes, we're both turned on and ready to get naked, but he never answered my challenge. "So? You'll do the Gauntlet?"

He licks his lower lip as his eyes look from my lips to my eyes. "I will train and try out for the Gauntlet."

I run my index finger over his gorgeous cheek and stop on his dimple. "Good. I like this."

I feel like we've reached a huge milestone. We've got a plan for our family, and we love each other like crazy.

For the first time in my life, everything might actually be good. Not just okay. Not surviving, but thriving and treasuring each day with a man I love by my side.