Chapter 26 Knox

Mila

Coming here was definitely the right choice. Making love with Foster all morning has been the best day of my life, and we're only getting started. There's still some bitter tension in the air between us, but each orgasm seems to break down barriers and bring us together.

"You have lights?" Last night, I didn't fully get a chance to check out the depth of the junk in this cabin, but this morning, in the middle of it all, sits strings of fairy lights in a huge mess on the floor. Another strand is draped over the kitchen chair.

His head raises up to glance around but falls back down to the bed. "It was dark."

"Are they for me?"

"Everything is for you."

I kiss the tattoo on his chest, but his hands by my ears pull me away. "Let's go get fresh milk and better coffee."

"I really don't need food." Although my stomach is starting to grumble.

"You do." His hand skims over my hip and waist. I've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw him. "Let's go. "

"All right." He slaps my hips and we both force ourselves to get out of the bed.

***

Cruising under the winding, tree-lined roads of the state park reminds me of the Hamptons but in a uniquely sunny California way. Foster looks different in a black Dodge Ram truck instead of a motorcycle. Still gorgeous, eyes still that stunning shade of green that in this light looks more blue, but his jaw is relaxed and his limbs hang loose. Now that could be a hangover or post-coital bliss, but something in him has been altered by his time in the mountains. It's like the stress of the city has been drained from him and he's lighter. I wonder if the mountains will do that for me too? I can smell it in the air. This place is peaceful.

We pass through a two-lane town. "You don't want to stop here?"

"No. I want you to have more choices, and I need supplies."

"Like food?"

"Yes. And some wood."

"To burn?"

"To build."

I'm not asking what he plans to build because I don't know if I'm part of his future plans or not and I'm not ready to talk about it yet. If this is temporary, I want to enjoy the bliss as long as possible.

We finally park in a shopping center in a quaint beach town called Santa Cruz.

"It's gorgeous here," I say as he gets out of the truck and walks around to my side.

"Yeah." He grins at me as he opens my door. Oh yes, he's still giddy from our phenomenal makeup sex this morning. "Let's get you some lunch."

"Okay."

We sit down on the patio of a cute beach shack and nibble on tortilla chips as we wait for his fish tacos and my veggie burrito. The California sun is shining down on us, and the weather is so mild, you could wear shorts even though it's early May.

The freedom of anonymity and the lack of sideways glances strikes me as a rare treat. It feels like a vacation.

He's still smiling and plants a kiss on my ear. "Your skin is shining in the sun. You look like an angel."

As I blush, I'm thinking he's so friggen delicious to look at, I want to stand up and scream to the other people in the restaurant "I just had sex with this hot guy!" This restaurant is so casual and laid-back, I'm not sure anyone would care if I did stand up and announce it .

A waitress brings him a colorful fish taco with red corn tortillas and purple cabbage. She hands me a hefty green burrito with Spanish rice. It's so big, I'm going to eat it with a fork and knife.

My first bite is the perfect blend of fresh tomatoes, cilantro, avocado, sour cream and rice. "Oh my God, it's yummy."

"Mmm. Good." A piece of cabbage sticks out of the corner of his mouth.

He finishes one taco and before starting the second he catches my gaze and says, "I'd like you to stay," in a soft voice. Not telling me, there's a question in it.

"Here in California?"

"Yes. We make it through whatever happens with your dad, and you stay with me." He sounds casual but he's really saying something big.

"I said last night I would." In the heat of the moment, I said it, but I meant it.

He puts his food down and leans forward on his elbows on the table. "I want you to say it while we're dressed and upright." His gorgeous lips turn up at the edges.

"I want to stay." I smile back at him.

He lowers his chin and makes sure he has my eyes. "You ready to leave your family?" he says quietly .

I nod and speak with confidence. He needs to hear it from me. "I've left. I won't forgive them. I won't go back."

He looks down at his lap then back up at me with soft green eyes. He sighs and leans back in his chair. His hand comes up to caress my cheek as a contented grin spreads across his face. I love that I'm finally making him happy and saying yes to us freely. No more holding back.

"Anyone know you came out here?" he asks quietly.

"No," I whisper back.

He's still smiling when he picks up his second taco. "We'll get security equipment at Supply Depot. I'll make sure they won't touch you."

This makes my heart warm because he knows my worst fears and he's trying to reassure me. For the first time, I don't feel scared. Everything is different overnight. Can it really be this easy? I feel terrible that I didn't do this a long time ago. It took me forever to find the courage. I'll have to work on forgiving myself for that and making it up to Foster.

We finish up lunch quietly, both of us taking in the new environment and the joy of being together. We walk hand-in-hand into the building supply store. He loads up a flat metal dolly with long pieces of lumber and thick ropes.

"What are you building?" I ask him.

"Obstacle course. "

"Ooh. Good idea."

I like that he feels motivated to work out and build something permanent at the cabin.

He picks up outdoor cameras, lights, motion sensors, perimeter alarms, and lots of window hardware. You'd think we were preparing for war.

As we're paying for our order, Foster's gaze stops for a second on a kid at the end of an aisle of tools. His clothes are dirty and his hair hangs in his eyes. Foster shakes it off and pays as we walk out.

The kid walks past us and Foster's eyes track him.

It's odd because Foster doesn't usually watch the people too much. He's usually tuned in to me and lets the world go by around us. But this kid is different.

Foster holds up a hand, signaling for me to wait by our cart, as he walks ahead to catch up with the kid. I'm not waiting by the cart, so I follow him.

He taps the kid on the shoulder. "Hey, did you lift something in there?"

"Fuck off." The kid stops for a second, glances at him, then turns and walks away.

"Hey! I saw you take something without paying." Foster follows him .

Then it all happens so fast, I can barely keep track. The kid spins and pulls a knife on Foster. He almost makes contact, but Foster ducks in time to miss it. "What the hell?"

Foster grabs the kid and whips him to the ground. Foster has him pinned on his stomach. With a chop, Foster sends the knife flying across the lot. Foster pulls something out of the back of the kid's pants. He holds what looks like a hammer or tool up to the kid's face. "This. Did you pay for this?"

"Yes." The kid struggles to keep his head up from the pavement.

"Bullshit. You got anything else?" Foster tosses the tool to the side and now I can see it's actually a small ax. He lifts up the bottom of the kid's hoodie and freezes. "What is this shit?"

I don't see what Foster sees so I'm not sure what's happening, but he saw something on his back.

The kid screams and thrashes under Foster. He's going absolutely berzerk. Oh my God. He could hurt himself. He's banging his elbows and head on the ground and twisting his torso to a point it must be painful.

"Get off me!" He shrieks with a desperation that is not a threat. It's a plea. Foster is triggering some kind of primal reaction in the kid.

Workers and customers from the store come out to see what's going on .

I'm not sure if the kid worked his way free or if Foster decided to give up the fight, but Foster is standing and taking a step back. He holds up his hands, "Okay, man. All right."

The kid climbs to his feet and his eyes shoot laser beams at Foster. He's scared and angry. Foster must sense it too, so he stays still.

The kid picks up the ax and turns to run, grabbing the knife on his way.

Foster and I make eye contact and his brow furrows. "You all right?"

"I'm fine."

He looks at the kid's retreating back. "Stay here." He follows the kid into the trees next to the parking lot.

"Wait." I chase after them. I'm not letting him go off into some trees with a crazy kid who pulls knives and steals an ax!

"Hey!" he calls to the kid.

"Leave me the fuck alone."

"Wanna talk to you."

The kid starts running faster. Now we are deep into the woods and I'm getting nervous.

"Why are you stealing an ax from Supply Depot?" Foster asks him.

"Fuck off. "

"Tell me about the marks on your skin."

The kid stops and turns around. His lips are pursed like he wants to say something. His eyes are wide and he's gripping the ax with a clenched fist. He could swing that thing at Foster and I could lose him in an instant. Looking closer, I see he's not as young as I first thought. He could be sixteenHI? His chin has a scraggly scruff and he's tall and skinny. He's basically a homeless person. Which is why Foster should not be chasing him into the woods.

"Foster, please. Let him go."

"What's your name?" he asks the kid.

"Knox," he says reluctantly, looking down.

"Knox. I'm Foster. This is my girlfriend, Mila."

Aww. That's the first time he's ever introduced me to someone as his girlfriend. I didn't think it would be a homeless kid, but it still feels good.

"So, I'll give you a choice. You tell me about the scars or you tell me what you need the ax for. But I'm not leaving till you spill."

"What do you care?" He snorts and flips his hair back with a false bravado. Foster is twice as big as him and already pinned him in under ten seconds, but Knox has an ax and he could throw it suddenly .

Foster holds his palms up flat and takes a slow step closer to Knox. "I see that look in your eye. You're hungry. You're hurting. Let's just say I've stolen a few things in my life." The compassion in Foster's voice tugs at my heart.

Knox shuffles his feet in the dirt. "Over here." He waves his hand for us to follow him off the side of the path down into some bushes.

I'm slipping down the slope when Foster reaches back to help me. We end up in a clear area under some sycamore trees. A huge pile of driftwood is stacked in the middle.

"Need an ax to cut the wood." Knox's shoulders hunch forward as he points at the wood.

"What're you making?" I ask him.

Knox grabs his hair and pulls, the ax still in his hand. "I don't know." As he raises his arms, bright red slashes on his forearms become exposed. He quickly lowers his hands and tugs at his shirt, but it's too late. We've already seen them.

Foster looks at me. We both know what's up. He's homeless and he's going to make shelter out of driftwood. He's been abused. He's a mess.

"Let's sit and have a chat," Foster holds up his flat palm and nods for Knox to put the ax in it.

Knox hesitates like he's going to fight it, but then probably remembers Foster's strength and he gives it up .

The three of us take seats on the wood.

"How old are you?" Foster asks him as he turns the ax over in his hands.

"Sixteen." Knox looks away as he talks.

"You living alone out here?" I keep my voice soft and patient.

"No. Got a sister. Some friends." He's still having trouble making eye contact with Foster.

Foster's back straightens at the mention of his sister. "How old's your sister?" Foster's having trouble hiding the concern in his tone.

"Thirteen." Knox picks up some dirt and throws it.

Foster's gaze lands on mine and I know what he's thinking again. These kids are way too young to be out here in the woods alone.

"Gonna tell you something, Knox. I grew up in Foster care. Was skinny. Got beat up a lot."

Knox looks at Foster's huge shoulders and his eyes grow wide. It's hard to imagine Foster as a skinny teenager, but I remember when Donnie pushed him in the pool. He climbed out all wet, looking like skin and bones.

"Where are your parents?"

Knox makes a pattern in the dirt with his sneakers. "She's dead. "

Hmm. He only mentioned his mom. "And your dad?"

His head pops up and fire fills his eyes. "He doesn't come around anymore."

Foster folds his hands in front of him and arches his head down to grab Knox's attention. "Your dad put those marks on your back?" He speaks very quietly because Knox is clearly spooked.

"He's not my dad. He's a monster. He's a fucking monster and I wish he wasn't my dad. I wish… Gah!" Knox stands and walks away from us. We give him a minute to come back.

When he sits down, Foster says, "It's not your fault your dad's an asshole."

Knox glares back at him, defeated. "It's my fault I couldn't protect Sutton from him."

A huge lump forms in my throat. "It's not your fault," I whisper, trying to hold back the surge of pain I feel for his sister.

Knox bites his lower lip and wraps his arms around himself. He digs his nails in and pulls down over the fabric of his shirt. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to track him down and kill him."

It's risky, but I reach out and touch his shoulder. He just looks like he needs someone to touch him to ground him. He glances at my fingers, but doesn't flinch away. "You can't kill him. You'll end up in jail. "

"I don't care. Already been to juvie a few times. I'd take a lifetime of prison for the satisfaction of killing him."

Oh boy. This got very serious really quickly. It sounds like he's been abused and he's hurting himself. I look at Foster and I'm sure he sees it in my eyes. We can't walk away now. We're going to help these kids. I'm not sure how but we're not letting them sleep here in a driftwood shanty.

"You lookin' for work?" Foster asks in his easy-going tone that could soothe any wild beast.

Knox sits up and his face brightens. "Might be." He's still cautious, but he's stopped tearing at his skin.

"Why don't you come up to my property? Need someone to help me with an obstacle course," Foster says.

Brilliant idea! Why didn't I think of that?

"I don't take handouts," Knox replies.

"I'm not offering a handout. I'm offering you a job. I need some help up at my cabin in Boulder Creek. You earn some cash. No strings attached."

Knox's brow wrinkles like no one has ever done something nice for him. "Why?"

"I owe it to someone." Foster's voice is deep and rich again. He's coming back into his confident self.

"You don't owe nothing to me. "

"Nope. I'm asking for you to give me a hand. Can you do that?"

"Sure."

"Go get your sister."

"My sister?"

"You leave her alone all day?"

"She's at the mall asking for money."

"That's no good. Get in the truck. She can come too."

"Are you serious?"

"Course. Can't leave your thirteen-year-old sister begging for cash at the mall. God knows who could get to her. Let's get her and bring her to my place. She'll be safe there. We'll feed her a good meal."

Knox looks from Foster to me like he's judging us. I'm sure it's hard for him to trust people, but Foster and I are being up front with him and he has to see it in our tone.

"Okay."

***

After a trip to the grocery store, we pick up Knox's sister, Sutton, and his two friends, Mace and Remy. We get to know them as we drive up the mountain. Foster shows them how to build the climbing wall made of bottle bottoms. Knox's sister Sutton is patiently watching them. She and Knox have an easy air about them when they're together. He seems less nervous. She keeps her gaze on him for reassurance. You can feel the bond between them.

As the sun sets, Foster and I give them some space and move over to the fire pit. Foster stacks some wood up in a pyramid in the center of the circle. I take a seat in one of the Adirondack chairs next to the fire. We're out of earshot, and a lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours. He's probably as twisted up inside as I am.

"You still want to be a sports therapist?" he asks me out of the blue as he lights a match and tosses it into the fire. This is not what I thought would be on his mind at all.

"Oh, I gave up on that."

"Why?" He blows on the kindling under the wood, but it's not starting up.

"It was just a dream." I stare into the fire that won't start.

"Look into the schools in town. You'll find what you need." Foster adds more kindling and some lighter fluid. He rearranges the wood to add more space in his pyramid.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I just want to be with you."

"You got me one-hundred percent." He grins down at me and reaches down for a mechanical lighter with a long metal point. He sticks it deep into the kindling and clicks it. "This is your second chance. Have you ever done something just because you want to do it?"

"I came out here."

He chuckles. "Glad you did." The tiniest ember turns orange in the pit. He blows on it and bits of ash fly around the pit. "I think you should go for it."

God, that would be wonderful if it really happens. It warms my heart he's thinking of me and my fulfilment.

"Henry left me plenty of money. It's not an issue."

"How about you?" I ask him. "What would you do with a new shot at life?"

The fire flares up and the wood crackles. The pungent smell of the lighter fluid hits my nose. "I was going to give up and grow old in the mountains." His mouth smashes into an ironic smirk.

"Now you're not."

"No. Now I got three boys out there building me a climbing wall and a thirteen-year-old girl who is fragile as a leaf standing there staring up at her brother like he's going to give her all the answers she needs."

"Yeah."

He sits down next to me and takes my hand. His gaze is on my fingernails as he talks. "I know how they're feeling right now. Insecure. Alone. Unwanted. "

I nod. Foster will always have immense compassion for kids who are in the position he once was in.

"Why don't we ask them to stay the night?" It came to me spontaneously, but now it seems like a good idea.

"Thought about it," he says casually, but if Foster thinks about something, he's usually serious.

"Ask them to stay." I'm whispering but saying something loudly to him.

He hangs his head. I've triggered something deep inside him. He's remembering Henry and being a teenager.

"There's plenty of room here. One night and we'll talk again tomorrow night. They can keep working on the wall."

He nods and looks up at me, but his eyes have darkened and simmer with warmth. "Let's go talk to them. See what they think."

"Sounds good to me."