Chapter 11

Benham

It has been two turns of the sun since Maeve brought me the midday meal. Two turns of the sun since I have seen her at all. She has been absent from the central fire each day and even my apprentice has been unusually quiet. Is Maeve sick? I should ask Zara, but I have not. Because I do not want to make things uncomfortable for my mate if she is well but has decided she no longer wants to speak to me.

Not that I have hoped she might accept the mate bond. Hope is a fickle thing. But I had thought we could become friends. I admit I've missed her soft, quiet voice, even if she did not use it often.

Zara is working on another arrowhead. I have paused while crafting mine to offer her some assistance on occasion, but otherwise, she has been making them herself. It is still ugly and useless, but it is less ugly and less useless than her first few attempts. She will succeed. I have never seen someone work as hard as she has. When she approached me, I did not truly believe she would last long. But she has surprised me. There is no hint of her giving up.

I heat my metal once again and curl the sides tighter until they are nearly sealed. It goes cold, so I heat it once again and then chisel the tip.

"Are you even going to ask if she's okay?" Zara speaks up.

I stop what I am doing and do not pretend I do not know who she is speaking of. "No one has said anything about one of the humans being ill, so I assume she is well."

She stares at me with her lip curled in a snarl. "You would know if she were well if you'd bother to come and ask her. But no. You're just ignoring the fact she exists after she put herself out there to try and be your friend."

"I am not ignoring that she exists. I did not want to contribute to the ‘bad shit' she has been through by forcing my presence on her."

Zara continues staring and staring. I try not to shift like a kit being reprimanded. Finally she shakes her head. "You're a chicken shit."

"I am not a…chicken shit."

"Do you even know what that means?" She glares. "It means you're a coward."

I bristle in offense and my tail thrashes wildly behind me. "I have battled hundreds of Krijese and taken down many dhembe as well as a luani. I am no coward. These scars prove it."

"Yet you haven't made a single effort to check on Maeve. How many times has she had the courage to come talk to you? To step inside your tent—alone—and care for your wound. You have no idea what that took for her. Just because her scars aren't visible doesn't mean she doesn't have them. And you can't even be bothered to stop by to make sure she's okay or even just to say hi. It's like you don't even care about her, and yet she's supposed to be your mate?" She turns her back on me and jabs her metal stick in the fire.

Shame fills me, because Zara is right. Maeve is my mate. Neither of us chose this. Deeka did. I have never wanted a mate. Even less so after my baba and nene were killed. Yet the goddess brought one to me anyway. One who asked me to take a walk with her despite her fear of me. Who braved coming into my tent to tend my wound. Who brought me a meal because she did not want me to be hungry.

I set down the arrowhead and my tools and leave the forge. As I walk through the village, humans and Tavikhi alike move about together, each intent on their destination. The laughter and playful yelling of the kits fill the air. I spot two human kits amongst them. The humans are slowly becoming true tribespeople. I finally come to a stop in front of Maeve's tent and slap the door.

It opens, but it is not my mate.

"Did you need something?" Sage asks.

"I have come to check on Maeve. Is she well?"

She turns away, mumbling what sounds like "took you long enough", and the hide flap slaps down over the entrance. I continue standing there staring at it as though with my mind alone I can make it move. It remains closed.

I am sure no one is coming, and I'm about to turn away when it is opened. My mate is wrapped in the luani fur I gifted her but appears well.

"Yes?" She tightens the fur around her and appears even smaller than usual. This is also not my Maeve. The fear in her eyes has been replaced with hurt. Did I put it there?

"Are you well?"

"I'm fine."

I study her. She says she is fine, but I do not think that is true. "Have I done something to anger you?"

Maeve releases a sigh and her shoulders drop. "No, Benham, you haven't done anything to make me angry."

Zara's words return to me. "I am sorry for not seeking you out sooner. I did not think you wished to see me again."

She jerks. "Why would you think that?"

I do not want her upset with her friend for speaking to me of something Maeve would not want me to know. "I know that you fear me and I did not want to cause you any distress by coming to your tent." To my own ears it is a flimsy excuse.

"Well you caused me distress by not coming. I thought we were starting to become friends."

"We were—are. I do not have many friends. None that are female. I do not know how to act."

"Friends check on each other. And they don't wait two days to do it. Since you never came by, I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."

Slowly and carefully I reach up, but stop before touching Maeve's face to give her the chance to tell me no. When she does not, I lay my hand along her jaw. It is the first time I have touched her since the night my mating marks were triggered. That same warmth heats my skin, and my marks darken farther. There is a shifting sensation inside my chest. "I am sorry, Maeve. I did not mean to hurt you. If you can forgive me, I would like us to be friends."

Maeve does not draw away, but she does not lean into it either. Not wanting to push her any further, I lower my arm to my side and wait for her to choose. I will not blame her if she says no.

"Friends take walks. I suppose we could go for a walk since I've been cooped up in here for two days."

"Were you ill?" The guilt presses harder on me if she was. She should have someone to take care of her.

"Just really exhausted. The nights here are shorter than they are back on Earth. Remi and I are apparently the only ones having a bit of a time adjusting to the difference. So nothing a little more sleep won't cure."

Relief fills me that it is not anything more serious than that. "Perhaps only a short walk then so you can come back and rest."

"I'm feeling a lot better today. Let me grab my shoes, and I'll be ready." Maeve ducks back into the tent and before long, she steps outside still wearing the luani fur.

We walk away from her tent with no destination in mind. I gesture to the covering she continues to use. "Is that keeping you warm?"

She draws it tighter around her and sighs, but it sounds like one of pleasure. "This has been the best gift I've ever received. It's kept me warmer than anything else I've tried. Thank you again."

"I am glad."

A kit runs past and I step out of his way. Talek chases after him. I glance around at the village where I have lived my whole life. In only a short time, it has changed so much.

"How's your leg doing?" Maeve asks.

I touch it absently. "It is doing well. You make a good healer."

Maeve laughs and it settles deep within me. "I don't know about that. I've seen enough blood to last me a lifetime."

Her laughter fades and I glance down. She is looking ahead, but I do not think she is actually seeing anything. "I am sorry you had to see mine."

She blinks and gives her head a small shake. "Oh, I didn't mean that. I wanted to help, and the blood didn't bother me."

If it was not mine that bothered her, where has she seen too much? I want to ask, but I do not want her to recall any bad memories. Speaking is something I have never been good at. It is only something I do when necessary. It is no wonder I am having trouble making conversation. Maeve is not a hunter or a warrior.

"Are you enjoying learning from Alanda?" We pass the food stores tent where the two females have spent a lot of time.

"I am, actually. Back on Earth, we didn't have this kind of food. If you were someone like me, you ate protein bars. If you were someone like Remi or Zara, you had machines that made you actual food like a steak or cheeseburger. On rare special occasions, those of us who lived on the bottom tier might get to taste some of it. But only if we were lucky, which didn't happen often."

I try to picture food from a machine. How is it cooked if there is no flame? How do the kokrra grains become soft if they are not soaked? "It does not sound like a place I would like to live."

"I didn't like living there much either."

"Is that why you came to Tavikh?"

We come to a stop in front of Maeve's tent. She is quiet for many beats. "I came because I had no other place to go. Staying on Earth was no longer an option. Wherever that spaceship was heading is where I was going. I didn't even care where. So long as it took me someplace far away."

"Yet it brought you here." To my planet.

She lifts her gaze to me and smiles softly. "I guess it did."

Of all the planets in the galaxies that Maeve could have landed, it happened to be this one. Perhaps Deeka guided her to me and me to her. For the first time since the death of my baba and nene, I offer a prayer of gratitude to the goddess.

"I am glad you are here."

"Me too," she almost whispers.

My gaze drops to Maeve's lips. I have seen the mouth touching Zander and Zydon do with their mates. Until now it did not look appealing. But I am beginning to understand the appeal.

"May I mouth touch with you?"

Her furry brows shift and a crease appears between them. But then they lift and her large eyes grow even larger. "Oh, you mean kiss."

Is that what the mouth touching is called? Kiss? "Yes, I would like to share this kiss with you if that is all right."

She chews on her lips and her throat moves as she swallows. Several beats pass before she slowly nods. I do not dare move fast. As though she is a dreri frozen in place, I take care not to startle her. She is so tiny I have to lean down a great distance until I carefully and gently press my mouth to hers. The sensation is pleasant enough.

Sensing she has reached her limit, I rise to my full height. Her cheeks have turned the color of the manerrat berries. I take a step back and bow my head. "Thank you for the kiss. I will let you get some rest. But if you are feeling up to it, maybe we can take the evening meal together by the fire."

"Okay. Yes, I would like that."

"I will see you then." Before I beg for another kiss, I walk away and head back to my forge where Zara remains.

She glances up at my return. "It's about time you got back. I looked up, and you were gone."

"I needed to go see my mate."

She places her fists on her hips. "So now she's your mate?"

"Maeve has always been my mate. We are also friends and have come to an understanding."

Zara glares a moment longer before shaking her head. "She's always been a softy. If it were me, I would have made you grovel a little."

This does not surprise me. My apprentice is a fierce one. I am glad my mate has a friend like Zara to protect her. As I pick up another metal stick, I relive the mouth touching—the kiss—and I hope to do it again.