Chapter 18

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I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe.

DaniBird153 : Sorry for disappearing on you like I did…

I'm stretching after a successful Wednesday night stream, thinking about nothing other than getting out of the silver wig I'm in, when Dani's message comes through, setting my heart tumbling into stilted motion.

Dani .

It's been two and a half weeks since I've heard from her.

She's okay.

Probably.

Possibly.

Hopefully.

At the very least, I can't think of a single reason a faerie would be using her phone to message me if she's been spirited away for some unknown reason.

DaniBird153 : My mom took my phone.

I pause halfway through a reply.

DaniBird153 : I…I don't know how to tell you this. A lot has been going on lately, and I'm overwhelmed.

DaniBird153 : I'm tired, Zahra.

DaniBird153 : More and more each day.

DaniBird153 : I don't know why I get up in the morning.

I tap out the only thing I can think to say.

CapyZahra : I'm here for you.

DaniBird153 : I know. Sometimes, it feels like you're the only one who is. I don't have any other friends, Zahra. I feel so alone. All the time. And I think I'm going insane.

CapyZahra : You aren't. I promise you aren't. Please. Is there anything I can do to help?

My heartbeat trips over itself until my hands are shaking. Dani never talks like this. Ever. She's always a sarcastic, bright spot in my streams and in our messages. I'm not certain how to put what I need to into words. If she is dealing with a faerie and thinks she's going insane, I doubt I'll be able to convince her over text that everything is okay. I could barely be a voice of reason in favor of magic when Kassandra was going through her doubts with Pollux and Andromeda.

God, please . I need the right words to say. Something. Anything. Help me give Dani some peace.

Slowly, my door opens, and Alexios looks in, at my computer screen, then at me clutching my phone. Our eyes meet, and he glides in to kneel in front of my chair, laying a steady hand on my arm. "Snowflake, what's wrong?"

My head shakes. "I don't know."

And then…then I do.

Dani's message sweeps in, like a tidal wave, and the words resonate in my soul, like memories of days gone by.

DaniBird153 : I'm so scared I'm shaking. Something is wrong with me. I know it. It's the only explanation I can come up with. I'm messed up inside, and I know that much, but things are messed up outside, too, and I've never been able to tell anyone before. I feel used, more than usual, and I'm panicking. I need to get out. I need to get away from my mom, but I don't know how to. I don't know where to go. I don't understand why I'm never enough for her. I don't understand why I can give everything I have and still not be enough for her, and still have her ask for more.

DaniBird153 : I'm so tired , Zahra.

DaniBird153 : And I don't know what to do.

My swallow burns like acid. My eyes close, but the darkness only ushers in the things I've tried for years to escape.

CapyZahra : Are you safe?

DaniBird153 : For now.

CapyZahra : How old are you?

DaniBird153 : 23

Twenty-three and still trapped beneath the thumb of a toxic parent. I left the moment I could, with nothing but an overnight bag and the sick assurance nothing could happen that would be any worse than what I'd already experienced.

I told no one.

I just disappeared and started a new life as far away from them as I could.

CapyZahra : Can I get a plane ticket to you? I have room here. We can get you out of wherever you are and safe enough to figure out your next move from there.

DaniBird153 : I…

DaniBird153 : I don't know. I don't know how I'd get anywhere without her coming after me. She tracks everything. She'd know where I went, and then she'd come for you, too. I need to go somewhere no one can find me.

I know a place like that. A place with flowers taller than the houses and princes who take the time to send letters if they can't make it to movie nights. I know a place where no one in this world will find her, but if Dani can't actually see and hear the fae, being there in Faerie would drive her insane.

I need to figure that part out first.

Then I need to figure out how to get her there.

Or, is it not about getting her there , as much as it's about getting her through there? If I can get her to a trod, I can take her far away from where she is without a trace that her mother can follow.

"Xios." My voice cracks.

He looks up at me, worry pooling and crackling in his stormy eyes. "Yes?"

"How long can a human be in Faerie before they go insane?"

"Long enough. Why?"

"My friend needs help."

CapyZahra : Where are you? I have a plan. But it's a little crazy. And you'll need to trust me.

The seconds tick by like minutes until, one by one, they stretch into a breathless hour filled with nothing but Alexios and I waiting, discussing, hoping.

Ash's cry is what gets both Alexios and I out of my office, but even as I tend to my little boy, I'm staring at my phone.

Waiting.

And hoping.

For something that doesn't come.

※

I am overreacting. I overreacted. Everything is fine, and I will enjoy being a rogue elf on this lovely LARP day. Who knows? Maybe I'll even impale a castle guard and feel a little less…stuck.

It would not be the first time someone I've considered a close friend found me somewhat overbearing and stepped back. It's a fault that has followed me my entire life. My mother raised me in the generic female caretaker way. Chuck a heaping helping of extrovert on that, and I've been scaring off friends with my let me help you nonsense for literal decades.

Everything is fine.

Dani is a grown woman.

And she will ask for help if she needs it.

I just hope her sudden silence isn't because her mom took her phone again.

I wish I knew more about what was going on, exactly what level of horrors she's dealing with. Emotional demands? …physical demands?

The unknown is almost always the worst part.

While I'm pacing back into the house to get more refreshments for the snack table, Castor appears out of nowhere dressed like a ninja and brandishing his white cane like a sword. "Ha ha! Down with the king!"

Without thinking, I scream and throw my fist toward his face.

Lightning fast, he jerks out of my reach.

I swear at him and force air into my lungs. Once I have enough breath, I yell, " Why? "

One hand splays, defensive. "Is this…a bad time?"

Heaving a breath, I twist on my heel and march inside, slamming the door in his face when he follows me.

It opens again a moment later, and Castor drones, "Xios, your soulmate is being mean to me."

In the kitchen, wearing my baby wrap and looking all kinds of—no. Looking all kinds of no —Alexios mixes up a protein shake in my Magic Bullet. Ash wriggles and coos every time the machine pulses, and I try to find some peace in the little noises. It is hard, however, because Alexios is sweetly mimicking them back at him, and I—

I just can't with this.

Once the shake's put together, Alexios pops it off the machine, turns, and unwinds the blade attachment. "What happened?"

"She tried to punch me." Castor folds his arms. He actually, literally, folds his arms—like a child.

Alexios sips his shake. "Yes, well." He sips again. "She does that."

Because I can, I sock him in the shoulder and grab two bowls of chips that need to go outside.

Smiling, Alexios rubs Ash's back. "Don't grow up to be like Mommy, Ash. Violence is only fun with consent."

I'd punch him again, but now my hands are full. What an oversight.

"I'd beg to differ." Castor sniffs.

Alexios sips . "Then beg."

I stop short, nearly dropping my chips. Did a cosmic event just take place behind me? I fear for my life if I turn around, yet I can't help it.

The air between the two men crackles with all the severity of a final anime battle. Wicked glints and frenzied smirks. Somewhere, boss music plays.

But, for some odd reason, my heart…settles.

I am surrounded by insanely powerful goobers. I know at least one of them cares about me at a level I can't begin to comprehend.

I'm safe.

It does me no good worrying about the things outside my control—like Dani.

Everything will be fine.

And if it's not?

Well, if it's not, I will know my part to play in fixing it, eventually.

All good things, in God's good time.

Which, unfortunately, is absolutely not the schedule I would prefer.

Releasing a breath, I push outside with my snack bowls and let the sun wash my fears away.