Chapter 17

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No one told me bickering was a love language.

I am ten-minutes deep into a lush, vibrant garden of Faerie, which boasts Wonderland flowers the size of houses all around—with scintillating butterflies large enough to perch delicately atop the buds…

Yet, I'm staring—somewhat severely—at Alexios's back.

And I have been.

Ever since he marched me into a dead log that was suddenly a bustling terminal.

I hardly gave myself a chance to register the menagerie of other faeries present as he tugged on his sleeves, adjusted his cuffs, and darted us through an express lane far, far away from all the other people.

The only reason I've even noticed the flowers is because a giant butterfly wing beat nearly toppled me.

Truthfully, I have a dozen more important things to think about right now.

Like Ash, currently a world away, with Castor, who invited me to join his Tree Town on Finch and has been sending me hugs from Whimsy ever since I did.

Or like Dani, who I still haven't been able to contact and who hasn't made it to a single stream for two weeks now.

Or…like the monsters.

The monsters that swarmed me several days ago.

The monsters Alexios ate before he turned into the cutest little bat I have ever seen and slept on my pillow the rest of the night.

I didn't wake up again.

Not even to take care of Ash.

The next morning, I blearily fumbled my way into the kitchen to find Alexios groggily seated at the kitchen table burping Ash, an empty bottle before them.

He smiled at me.

In his smile, I relived the way his arms had wrapped around my shoulders; the brush of his lips in my hair; the sheer, inexplicable tenderness and care wafting off him—and I asked if he wanted ketchup and eggs to go with his protein shake because I had to do something to distract myself from so many unhelpful thoughts.

They have plagued me off and on ever since.

Now, walking through magical woods toward Brittny and Ollie's house for dinner, I find myself squinting at Alexios's broad shoulders. Head tilted sideways, I glare at the suit jacket I've never seen him without. It fits his masculine frame perfectly. But of course it does. It's woven out of his magic, a la made-to-order.

Something I've learned about the fae is that those capable of shapeshifting are also capable of fashioning their own clothing out of thin air.

It's what I like to think of as the PG clause.

God said, Nudity? Ha, ha, ha. Not on my watch.

Fearfully and wonderfully made, and all that.

Very…very…wonderfully.

Blinking, I straighten my head.

Not that I'm thinking about Alexios and nudity in the same breath, or anything.

I shudder.

Alexios casts a look over his shoulder at me. "We're almost there." Lifting a hand, he directs my attention toward a bend in the foliage. "It's just around that corner."

And so it is.

As we break from the woodland trail, a perfect little faerie abode comes into view. At the end of a winding stone path, three crooked steps lead up to a tilted ornate front door. Everything about it—from the climbing vines, to the cozy front porch, to the glittering shingles catching sunlight—screams mythical cottage . Even the askew architecture appears utterly intentional and hopelessly endearing.

We don't get a chance to reach the steps before Brittny throws open the door and waves.

Even though I know she was like me—part human and part fae, raised in a human world—not that long ago, standing there in a bright yellow dress, shaded beneath the petals of massive sunflowers, it is hard to picture her as anything other than entirely magic.

"Zahra, Xios! Welcome!"

Alexios pauses a moment in front of the steps, taking in the roof. "Happy to see your shingles are holding up better than I normally am."

She laughs. "You're in good company today, Xios…" Standing aside, she lets us into a quaint, cozy foyer with a cherry blossom plate hanging on the wall over an empty coat and shoe rack. When she notices my gaze sticking on the shoe rack, she says, "It's for our visitors with physical clothes."

I peer down at my boots. Which are completely physical. And weigh several pounds. "That's me, isn't it?"

Probably out of pure spite, Alexios's shoes disappear from his feet instantaneously. "Yes, snowflake. For you."

Watch me strangle him with the thigh-highs once I get them off…

I'm halfway through unzipping my shoes when I compute that the dreamy sweet scent flooding my nostrils isn't a general sort of magical house scent. The open archway on my right leads into a comfortable dining room with a table covered in baked goods.

"Did we interrupt…a bake sale?" I ask, swatting Alexios's hand away when he tries to balance me. Without his help, I jerk off my boots.

Brittny clasps her hands together in her skirt. "No…Ollie's just…fun like this sometimes."

Manic smile on point, Ollie sweeps in with a tray of peanut brittle. "Oh! Hey, guys. Help yourselves to anything. Dinner's in the oven."

" An oven," Brittny murmurs, covering her mouth with her fingertips. "We have five. I planned ahead. We also have two dish washers. And since we don't get constant signal here, our phones only end up in one of them once a week or so."

"What an accomplishment." Unleashing a sardonic smile, I swipe a pastry on my way into the lavish, messy kitchen with Ollie. I take a bite while I peruse the chaos. Raspberry filling. A lot of raspberry filling. Some of it gets stuck on my lip. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I picture Alexios tilting my face toward his, and—

I wipe the filling off with my thumb and shove my wicked thoughts into a hole. Then I bury them with mud. Then I plant thorns over top of them so they'll be everyone's problem until they're a bigger problem. Because, as I know from my familiarity with trauma thus far, at one point or another…I do gotta unpack what I bury, fighting through thorns and all.

Does that mean I'll learn from my mistakes and history?

Hilarious.

Ha ha.

No.

"What's for dinner?" I ask. "Xios loves mushrooms."

The slightly strangled sound leaving Alexios just then makes me feel so much better about myself.

That's what he gets, for giving me immoral thoughts .

My immoral thoughts aren't even remotely rational. Who cares that he hugged me and the close physical contact on my bed in the dead of night made me feel better instead of worse ?

It's not a big deal.

It means nothing.

Feeling better and comforted was a normal response.

The only thing tripping me up is the fact I did not have a normal childhood, so close physical contact from the opposite sex has rarely been very comforting… Up until now, I've only managed to be comfortable with it from Wade. Big as that man is, he reminds me nothing of my father. And maybe it's the dark skin, or the genuine smile, or the fact I rarely see him out of cosplay, but…yeah. Wade is a big, friendly bear. Alexios has already proven to be a man of mischief. Statistically, Alexios hugging me shouldn't have been comfortable.

Or reassuring.

Or nice at all.

Even though…

I cut my gaze toward him while Ollie finishes checking on something in an oven.

Alexios…doesn't remind me of my father at all either.

"Sorry, what did you just say?" Ollie lets an oven mitt he's wearing vanish into the ether as he pops the oven closed and fixes a bright smile on me.

I open my mouth, but Alexios's hand claps over it. "What's for dinner?"

It's a testament to my Christianity that I do not bite through my soulmate's gloved hand. God better be proud of me. I'm not being a saint for nothing.

"Spinach calzones. I wasn't sure if either of you were vegetarian, since Pollux and Kass are. Hope that's okay." Ollie checks one of seven little bird-decorated egg timers. They are all on. All ticking. All different birds. The timer in his hand chimes, and he grins. "Perfect."

Next thing I know, Ollie's ushering us all into a beautiful parlor—possibly on account of the dining room table being preoccupied . He sits Alexios and I in the somewhat small love seat together, presses a passing kiss to Brittny's forehead, and says he'll be back in a moment with the food.

Once he's left, Brittny sighs, dreamily. "He gets like this when he has too much energy. Sometimes it's stress. Sometimes it's excitement. Right now, it's both. He's been researching how to help your friend all week."

"I never meant for my offer to drive him to the brink of insanity." I nudge Alexios in the side. "I'm supposed to save those kinds of things for this one."

Alexios, tenderly, nudges me back.

And I have immediate regrets.

Me? Initiating physical touch ? With someone who barely tolerates touching anything to such an extent he is constantly wearing gloves ?

Who even am I?

Be gone, foul thoughts of impropriety! Be gone, I say!

Ollie delivering plates to each of us with two small calzones on each overruns my thoughts. I have never seen more beautiful calzones before in my life. Circling a little white bowl of marinara, the parmesan-powdered crescent moons steal my entire heart.

I wonder if Brittny and Ollie are accepting applications for roommates. If Ollie gets in moods where he bakes things like that amazing raspberry turnover and these mouth-watering calzones when he's hyped up on vibes, I'll gladly march through the woods to commute to work each day.

Or maybe I'll tame a butterfly to ride instead.

To think, just a month ago I had such mundane goals.

Now I'm conspiring to convince two people I've only met a handful of times that, in a kingdom which doesn't have rent or taxes, they totally need a roommate.

Life is fun like that sometimes.

Before I can hack a cheesy bite off my calzone, Ollie pulls a chair from by the window across the carpet, and plops down in front of me. "Does your friend just need music, or also sound effects?"

"Uh…"

"What does his timeline look like? How expansive is the game? I was looking at the average number of songs for a variety of genres, and depending on what we're talking about, it could take me two weeks to two months."

"I take it you've decided to accept this project?"

"I am freaking out." Ollie stabs an entire one of his calzones, dips a corner in the sauce bowl, and takes a bite. Once he's swallowed, he says, "But it looks like it could be a lot of fun. I never really gave much thought to doing more with music. It was just the avenue I found to…well…" He looks back at Brittny and smiles so wide a dimple appears in his cheek. "…to bridge a gap between worlds. I never expected it to become anything more than that."

That's so cute I might vomit. Best make sure I'm not dry heaving once I lose the turnover.

Sawing the edge off my calzone with my fork, I say, "I'll get you in contact with Rogue. I don't know much about his timelines or expectations. The only information I get is off the KickStarter page he's running to fund the whole thing." I plunge calzone in my mouth, and it might be the best thing I have ever eaten. Buttery, rich dough encasing cheese is faith-renewing.

There is a God.

And he is loving.

Amen.

While I'm busy having a tiny worship thought in the field of gratitude, Alexios seems to be on a different page, dissecting his food in order to isolate the spinach. The man has been surviving pretty well on his figs, cashews, and protein shakes ever since the order I placed came in. He's even labeled a couple brands and flavors as noticeably less offensive than the rest .

I hope I haven't done him a disservice by letting him stick to his safe foods and fluid nourishment. The last time Kassandra asked about him at school, she seemed to let on that Pollux had been making new recipes every day, in a futile attempt to find more things he likes. She said Pollux made spreadsheets. She asked if I wanted them.

I stared at her until she realized I would not be cross-referencing a spreadsheet with my pantry in an effort to feed a grown man.

Right now, though, I feel sorry for him.

It must be hard to go out to dinner with your friends and suffer through the main social event.

"How are things going between you two?" Brittny asks out of the blue.

My back straightens as the memory of arms close in around me, tight and warm and comforting. A chin's weight rests against my cropped hair before lips—

Nope! I cannot keep replaying that night. I can't. And I shouldn't. And if I dare , I really should focus more on the freaky black globs Alexios devoured as I pulled out of my nightmare, not the other stuff.

"Zahra let me sleep with her a few nights ago." Alexios pushes a fork full of spinach into his mouth.

Brittny's cheeks explode red as Ollie's dimples vanish.

Looking half sick when he swallows, Alexios shudders. "I understand both you and Zy spent quite a bit of time in your animal forms with your lovers none the wiser. I also understand that in their ignorance, you both shared the same sleeping arrangements for nights on end." Alexios pulls his scowl off his food to meet Ollie's shocked eyes. "How did you manage the overwhelming stimuli of your soulmate's scent without a single enchantment to numb it?"

Ollie's mouth opens. He catches Brittny's gaze. Clearing his throat, he says, "Um, poorly."

"What unfortunate news."

It occurs to me that, perhaps, the fact Alexios looked half dead the morning after That Incident had nothing to do with him taking care of Ash before I woke up to him. Maybe he didn't sleep at all that night.

I would feel worse.

If I didn't want to skin him alive and make a tiny white bat scarf out of his hide right now.

Shoving more food in my face, I remember gratitude and mumble, "We did not sleep together."

Alexios frees the shortest breath of a laugh. "I suppose I did misspeak… It's true that I did very little sleeping."

Dude is not helping me out here.

Glaring, I snap, "Ollie, is it possible to make a calzone with mushrooms in it?"

Alexios's absently soft expression mutates. "Why do you hate me, Zahra?"

I bat my lashes and steal a chunk of decimated buttery bread off his plate. "No particular reason."

"Did you not want me to tell them we slept together?"

"Sweetheart, that's a euphemism, and if you're not aware of that, I might be able to forgive you. But, see, I'm not that naive."

Alexios peers down his nose at me, letting long moments pass. Then evil overtakes him. Smirking in a horribly handsome sort of way, he toys with a morsel of spinach. "If you hate when I have fun, say that."

"I hate when you have fun."

"No, you don't."

"You are the bane of my existence, the reason I cry myself to sleep. The trauma of existing in your presence is wholly unrivaled. Explain yourself, or I will find a means to attain revenge that will haunt you forever more."

He chuckles. "Zahra had a nightmare. I handled the boogeyman. Then I shifted into my bat form and stayed with her in case she whipped up another one."

"I like you about as much as a broken nail," I mutter.

"I was not aware you were so fond of broken nails."

Ollie interrupts what I'm realizing too late looks like playful banter . "Does Pollux know about the boogeyman?"

"Why would Pollux need to know about the boogeyman?" Alexios asks.

Ollie takes a bite of his second calzone, and I discover that both he and Brittny are over halfway done with their food. They've been munching away, and watching us, like theater. Ollie says, "Because…you know…what happened with Zy and Meda. You're kind of proof that unseelie fae bred from humans with high concentrations of fae blood turn out powerful. What if it comes back?"

"It won't."

"How can you be sure."

Alexios lifts the sliver of spinach to his mouth. "I ate it."

Brittny's expression twists as her mouth falls open.

Sneering at the spinach, Alexios continues, "I don't need any more siblings."

The tense silence that sweeps into the parlor is not one my "powers of extroversion" can remedy. Understanding that, under different circumstances, Alexios would have swallowed Meda whole is…really quite harrowing. On some level, I knew that faeries from Faerie held opinions outside the constraints of human sensibilities, but—

Wait.

No.

Ollie was born and raised in Faerie.

He looks horrified, too.

This is not normal behavior.

Recovering from his tiny bite of spinach, Alexios scans the room. "What?"

Ollie attempts and seemingly fails to reply.

Alexios arches a brow at me.

I smile, prettily, and steal a bite of cheese off his plate. "I don't think casually discussing the murder of potential siblings is apropos dinner conversation, dear."

"Your fears are not the sort I wish to persist long enough to gain a consciousness of their own… darling ." Lifting his hand, he wipes a bit of sauce from the corner of my mouth onto his glove, then holding his hand above the white dish in the center of his plate, he lets the fabric dissipate, releasing the drop back into the bowl.

My heart stammers in response to whatever that just was. Mercy. Excuse my running rampant hormones. My face might be marinara sauce red.

Brittny's eyes gleam. "It seems you both get along well."

Heart jerking, I rip apart my calzone, fish out the spinach, and trade with Alexios for more of his bread and cheese, if only to get my eyes off him. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Alexios, smiling, says, "What pretty humanity you employ, lover."

"We are not— " I choke when my eyes slash to his again, getting stuck in the way he's looking at me. My poor heart stumbles. I level my tone. "We are not lovers."

He watches me, smiling, then says, "Anyway, I got a picture of the boogeyman. Who wants nightmares tonight?"

"You did what ?" I blurt, in unison with Ollie.

Brittny appears too shocked for words.

"Well, it seemed the smart thing to do at the time." Setting his food aside, Alexios angles his hips so he can get his phone out of his pocket.

My stomach twists, heart echoing pounds in my gut. Before he can pull up his photo app, I grip his arm. "I think that's enough joking." I don't want to see. I don't think I'll be able to handle it if my boogeyman looked anything like…him. Closing my eyes, I regain my composure and smile at Brittny. "Any updates about the book you're publishing?"

She gasps, and her excited ramble brightens the whole room, almost washing all memory of my nightmare away.