Chapter 36

Brandon

N athan knocked on the frame of my door. I sat up and blinked at the plate of food he had in his hands. My glasses were on the nightstand, so someone had taken them last night and placed them there. Once they were on my face, I could see that the plate had a steaming pile of scrambled eggs.

“Chase went home a little earlier, worried about the damn cat. So, I figured I’d hang out and see if I could get you to eat anything.”

He entered the room and set the plate on the nightstand. While my stomach growled, the idea of eating something didn’t seem all that appealing.

“You guys didn’t need to stay all night.”

Nathan smiled again. “Yes, we did. Now eat, please.”

My stomach rolled as I picked up the plate and fork. I shoved the eggs around a few times, but couldn’t bring myself to bring a bite to my mouth. “I don’t know if I can.”

The way my eyes started burning again was ridiculous. Shouldn’t I have finished crying? There was no way there were any more tears left. I’d scared away the one person who mattered to me the most.

Nathan took the plate back from me and set it down beside me. He sat on the bed and grabbed my hand. “Listen, I don’t know the full story, but you two have too much history for him to be gone for good.”

As much as I wanted to believe him, my mind struggled to. Andrew had never been so mad.

“It all hurts so damn bad.”

Nathan patted my hand and stood. “I know it does, but he’ll come around. I need to go take care of some work stuff and Andrew asked if I’d bring him some clothes. Will you promise me you’ll be okay and at least try to eat something?”

I eyed the plate of eggs again. It had been more than nice of my friend to make me breakfast, but the idea of eating it still made me feel sick.

“I’ll be okay.”

Nathan eyed me skeptically, but still backed out of the room. The sound of boxes being opened and things shuffling around didn’t make me feel any better, especially knowing that it was to take clothes for Andrew to stay somewhere that wasn’t with me.

When the front door clicked closed, I finally crawled out of bed. It was so quiet in the apartment. I shuffled to the bathroom and took a piss, then stared at myself in the mirror. Dark circles ringed my eyes, and I looked as if I hadn’t slept in days. I felt like I hadn’t slept in days .

I found my phone sitting in the living room, which was dead since I hadn’t bothered to put it on the charger last night. My heart beat a little faster, wondering if Andrew had tried to reach out to me at all, and I left him with no way to do it.

I rushed back to the bedroom and plugged it in. When the phone powered back on, there was a message, but it was from my mom, wondering where I was. My eyes closed against the onslaught of tears again. I’d forgotten that I was supposed to help with opening the store and now I was letting my parents down as well.

What a damn joke.

Instead of answering my mom, I crawled back under the covers after placing the plate back on my nightstand. The sheets and warmth should have brought me comfort, but instead, it only made me think of the person who was missing from the picture.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Whatever it takes to prove it to you, I’ll do it.”

The words were sobbed into the empty space around me until I fell back into a fitful sleep.

“ B randon?”

I looked up as I approached the entrance to the store. I’d slept for the rest of the previous day, so much for my promise to Nathan about trying to eat something. The plate was still there this morning, and I’d gotten up to scrape it into the trash. When I opened the fridge to stare at the contents, nothing looked good, so I got ready for the day and left without eating anything again.

Mom was standing there with a steaming cup of tea in her hands. She had pulled her hair up into a messy bun with a scarf around her neck. I’d barely managed to zip up my jacket, shivering as a morning breeze brushed past me. It was getting so damn cold in the morning and I’d have to dig out my own scarf soon.

When I said nothing, she rushed over and wrapped an arm around me, ushering me inside the store. “Sweetie, you didn’t show or call yesterday. You look like death warmed over. What happened?”

How did you tell your mom that you’d made the biggest mistake of your life?

My legs were lead, and trying to move toward the front door of the store only caused my heart to pound harder, as if it were trying to escape my chest. My mind slammed me with so many memories of Andrew and me hiding among the shelves and in the back. What the hell was I supposed to do? He was literally everywhere.

“Brandon? ”

My mom’s voice did nothing to soothe the panic that was taking over. The burning in my eyes intensified as the tears finally welled over and spilled.

“Oh, Brandon. Please come inside. Tell me what happened.”

It felt ridiculous being twenty-three and still sobbing to my mother in such a way, and this had been the second time I’d done it in a week.

“I really fucked it up this time.”

Mom frowned, wiping her thumbs against my cheeks to knock away the tears.

“First off, language. Second, I’m sure whatever happened can be fixed.”

My chest constricted, becoming more tight with each passing breath. “I don’t know if I can fix it this time. I love him and I hurt him.”

Mom’s arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a tight hug. I returned her embrace, gripping the back of her sweater in a vise-like grasp. My whole body shook.

“If there’s one thing I know about Andrew, he’s not going anywhere. I don’t know what’s been going on with you two, but I know things have changed. The love that boy has for you is something different and lasting. He might be angry right now, but he’ll come around. ”

My tears and snot had soaked the front of Mom’s sweater at this point. It didn’t stop me from rubbing my face in it to gather her comforting smell of rose and eucalyptus.

We hadn’t fooled anyone. As much as I’d wanted to keep things between Andrew and me, everyone knew. Nathan and Chase implied it, and my mom just confirmed it. I’d always worn my heart on my sleeve, and it wasn’t any different where Andrew Hernandez was concerned. He was the light of my life. The motor that kept me going when all I wanted to do was quit. My purpose. My solid foundation through everything.

And I’d wanted him to be my secret.

“You didn’t see him. I’ve never—”

“Brandon Davis, listen to me. That boy has been smitten with you for years. Give him some time to cool off. I know you and I know him. You didn’t mean to cause harm, and I know he knows that as well.”

How was it that mothers were always the voice of reason? As her fingers sifted through my hair, my grip on her loosened. I didn’t feel on the verge of falling apart anymore.

Once I’d finally calmed down enough, I let go and pulled away. I looked up at my mother with bloodshot eyes. My face was probably a blotchy mess, and I knew she didn’t care. Mother’s love was unconditional, or at least it was supposed to be.

“I need to make this up to him, but I don’t think I know how. ”

Mom smiled at me, pushing my hair from my face and straightening my glasses. “You do. I have complete faith in you.”