Chapter 35

Andrew

“ I don’t know what he gets up to down there. He keeps the door closed and I tell McKenzie not to bother him. It’s his space, and she’s pretty good about leaving him alone.”

I nodded as Teresa kept talking while she led me through the house. When I’d run out of the apartment, I didn’t know where the hell to go, but seeing as almost everyone was at our place, that left Joe. He’d said he was busy today, but Teresa said he hadn’t left his room.

“Joseph, you’ve got company,” she yelled as she pounded on the door.

It took a few minutes, but we finally heard the telltale sounds of feet climbing the stairs from the basement. The door creaked open, and Joe blinked at us like he was adjusting from being in the dark.

“Andrew? What’re you doing here? Weren’t you moving in with lover-boy?”

I glared at him, and Teresa walked away, leaving us to talk. Joe slid from behind the door. He was in a loose pair of basketball shorts and a tank top. It wasn’t quite weather appropriate, but for all I knew, it might have been warm down in the basement. I’d never actually seen his space.

“I was moving in until he refused to acknowledge what was really happening.”

Joe’s eyebrows shot up as he sucked at the ring through his lip. “What was really happening? Because if you think the two of you fucking around is news to anyone, you’re fooling yourselves.”

My eyes rolled as I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn’t get to say anything as a little girl came running around the corner.

“Uncle Joe! You came out of the cave.”

Joe hurried to catch the child as she launched herself at him. He lifted her above his head before pulling her down into a hug. She squealed in delight and then kissed his cheek when he lowered her in front of him.

“Hey McBug. I’m working today. I need to get back to the cave. Maybe we can do something later?”

She giggled and nodded, squirming out of his grasp. She ran off down the hall.

Working? Joe was working?

“You have a job?”

Joe’s eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. “Don’t deflect, asshole. You going to own up to you and Brandon?”

I looked up and down the hall, shifting my weight. Teresa had to know about Joe’s sexuality, but I still didn’t feel super comfortable talking about things with her daughter running around .

“Can we go downstairs and talk about it?”

Joe’s face turned red. Out of all the years I’d known the guy, I’d never seen him embarrassed about anything, so it was unusual to see. He was proud of anything he did, down to the time he got busted jerking off in a dressing room at the mall.

“Give me a minute.”

He disappeared behind the door. If I thought talking to Joe’s sister had been uncomfortable, it didn’t compare to standing around awkwardly in the hall. There were pictures on the wall, so while I waited, I looked at them. Most of them were of Teresa and her daughter, but Joe was in a few of them. He looked so carefree and happy. Then again, there wasn’t a time that I could recall him being in a bad mood. I knew he wasn’t happy about his parents kicking him out when he couldn’t find a job, but he had an amazing relationship with his sister and niece if the pictures were anything to go by.

“McKenzie was three in that one. She had insisted on getting this giant ass ice cream cone from the ice cream truck. Way too big for a kid her size. I tried to tell her it’d make her sick, but the kid wouldn’t listen. Get it for me, Uncle Joe . Like a fucking sucker, I caved. She threw up immediately after finishing it.”

I laughed at the story. Joe had been so quiet when he came back. Or maybe I’d been that engrossed in looking at his family pictures. “At least she had a good time while she was eating it. ”

Joe grinned. “She sure as shit did. Now come on.” He waved for me to follow him, and we began our descent to the basement. Everything seemed so normal. There was a desk in the corner where a laptop sat open with a lamp on next to it. The bed stood in the far corner, and Joe had pushed back the sheets as if he had just gotten out of bed. However, what surprised me was the tripod that Joe had stuffed into the corner with a camera mounted on it.

“You doing something with photography now as well?”

Joe said nothing at first. He looked over at the camera and sighed. “Aiden showed me a few things, sure.”

It was evasive as fuck, but I wasn’t here to talk about what Joe was doing.

Once we got to the bottom of the stairs, Joe pulled the chair from his desk and held it out for me. He sat on the edge of his bed and motioned for me to sit down.

Now that I was here, the idea of opening up after Joe had teased us so much was intimidating. Maybe he wouldn’t judge since he seemed to know already.

“The relationship thing... It’s... new.”

Joe raised a skeptical eyebrow but didn’t interrupt me.

“Brandon and I have been friends since we were kids. Never anything more. We were the first people we came out to and we’ve supported each other through everything. Part of that changed freshman year.”

“I thought you said the relationship was new. ”

I shook my head. “It is. But he had that really bad breakup freshman year and came over. He’d asked if I’d ever thought about what it would be like if it were him and me. Of course, I’d thought about it, but he was my best friend, and that was a line I wasn’t willing to cross.”

Joe leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He was back to sucking on his lip ring and his icy-blue eyes stared at me through his dark fringe. “It sounds like a line was crossed, anyway.”

My face heated as I looked away. “Yeah. We, uh, kissed. But then he freaked out and ran away. We never talked about it and he seemed content to pretend it never happened.”

“Shit, man. That’s fucking brutal. And you let him get away with that?”

A sigh escaped my lips as I looked back at Joe. “What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn’t lose my best friend over a kiss.”

Joe held up his hands in surrender. “Point taken, but that was still a fucked-up thing to do.”

He wasn’t wrong. And maybe we’d gone wrong three years ago with that kiss and never talking about it. We jumped into this relationship without ever talking about it. It was something that had hung over our heads for years, only proving that we were both shitty at communication.

“So this last guy dumped him... and I don’t know. I think I just got tired of waiting around for him and watching him with other people. We were both scared that it wouldn’t work. Him more than me. It started off keeping things quiet so we could enjoy just being together for a while, but I hated hiding it from the beginning.”

“And you told him that?”

“Yes, but aren’t relationships about compromise? I wanted him to be comfortable. As much as he was afraid of losing me, I was afraid of losing him.”

Joe was silent for a long moment. “It seems like you were the only one compromising.”

The words slammed home. At no point had Brandon met me halfway. We’d done everything he’d wanted.

My eyes stung all over again as they welled with tears.

“Shit, dude. You going to be okay?”

Joe was standing and walking over to me.

“I don’t know. How did we get here? I love him. I always have. Maybe we never should have started anything.”

Joe crouched in front of me, resting his hands on my knees.

“That’s fucking bullshit. You two are perfect. You just need to work on actually talking to each other about your expectations.”

Never in my wildest dreams did I think Joe would be the person to come to for relationship advice. Mr. Anti-relationship himself. The one guy who was content to fuck around with anyone and everyone.

I did my best to rein in my tears, the tightness in my chest easing only slightly. Maybe Brandon and I weren’ t doomed, but I needed the space to gather my thoughts. Rushing back home now wouldn’t solve anything. As if reading my mind, Joe wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

“Look, Teresa doesn’t normally let me have guests over, but I think in this situation she’ll make an exception.”

I snorted a small laugh. “Your sister sounds like your mom.”

Joe rolled his eyes and then shoved me. “Fuck off, man. Do you need a place to crash for a few days or not?”

I had nothing with me, but it didn’t matter. I could solve the problem by texting one of my friends and asking them to bring me things. My fingers fumbled for my phone, almost dropping it as my hands were still shaking from the emotional mess I’d been in since leaving Brandon’s apartment.

Me: I’m going to crash with Joe for a few days. Can you bring me some things?

Nathan: We’ll figure it out.

As I got up and stretched, all I kept thinking about was if Brandon was okay. He’d hurt me, and here I was, concerned about him . How fucked up was that?