Chapter 2

Brandon

Present Day

“ C an I get you another one?”

I raised my head and blinked at Chase standing before me behind the bar, then I looked at my empty glass. While I was taking up space from a paying customer, he wouldn’t complain. It was one of the perks of being friends with the bartender.

“I think I’m good with switching to water.”

When someone sat next to me, I was surrounded by the familiar fragrant mix of cinnamon and spice. Andrew. His scent was unmistakable. In moments like these, when I needed comforting the most, he would consistently show up. “Water sounds like a great idea. So, what happened this time, Brandon?”

Chase stood across from us, shaking his blond head, and pulled two glasses from beneath the countertop, filling them with ice and then water from the spray tap. “I’d like to know as well. That other guy wasn’t here for very long.”

I wanted to laugh. What always happened with my dates? “He said he couldn’t handle it.”

Andrew sighed, drumming his fingers on the counter, facing me. “Couldn’t handle what?”

We’d played this game in the past. He knew exactly what the men I dated couldn’t handle, which was him. They always thought that something more was going on with my best friend. At one point, I’d toyed with the idea of just letting it happen, but then reality slapped me in the face. I couldn’t do it. The risk of losing my one constant was too great if things went sideways.

Andrew sighed and faced Chase when I said nothing. “Can we get two tequila shots, please?”

Chase’s eyebrows rose to his hairline, but he didn’t question it as he turned to get what Andrew ordered.

I took the opportunity to take Andrew in. His dark brown waves were windswept, and he had a loose jacket pulled over a t-shirt that he paired with jeans. He had an effortless style, which meant he always looked good no matter what he wore. I was jealous of how easy he had it, sometimes.

“It’s not that bad.”

“It is.”

I wanted to pout. To throw a tantrum. To tell my best friend that he didn’t need to baby my feelings every time one of my relationships didn’t work out, but he was always good at pulling it out of me .

“Andrew, I’m going to be okay.”

Two shot glasses and a small bowl with lime wedges landed on the bar between us. Except it wasn’t Chase who brought them over. Since Chase and his friend Daniel had started working at the downtown Seattle bar, we’d become familiar with most of the staff. Shawn was flirty and had gotten along well with Chase. The same couldn’t be said for his friend Daniel. He was tall, had short buzzed hair, and the most intense hazel eyes I’d ever seen.

“What’s going on now? Is there someone’s ass we need to kick?”

I had to laugh; it was nice that I had so many people in my corner. “I’m fine. Really.”

I really wasn’t. I’ve had too many failed relationships. It stung after a while. But I was a package deal. You didn’t get me without Andrew. And if they couldn’t accept that nothing more was between us than friendship, then fuck them. I didn’t need them.

Shawn picked up a bottle of top-shelf tequila and displayed it for us. I paled at the label. I didn’t mind the cheap stuff when I was in ‘ break-up mode ,’ but this stuff was spendy.

“Is that really wise?” I asked.

“My treat today, boys.” Shawn shrugged before filling the glasses and then moving to help the other patrons.

I reached for my glass and turned it in my fingers, hesitant. Andrew, meanwhile, picked up a lime wedge, rubbed it on his hand, shook salt over it, and licked it. Without a second thought, he threw the shot back down his throat and sucked on his salty hand .

That was one of my favorite things about him. Andrew lived his life without fear or regret. He embraced each day as if it were his last, while I tiptoed around everything. Perhaps that’s why we connected so easily. We balanced each other out. He was loud and adventurous. I was quiet and reserved. The yin to my yang.

“Are you going to?” Andrew motioned to my drink and my face heated, too lost in thought about him. I always was. And my fear of what could be destroyed is what kept me from pursuing him.

“Yeah...” I huffed a small laugh and picked up my shot glass, ignoring the lime and the salt. If this was the good stuff, I wanted to taste it. Even with being on the spendier side, the tequila still burned my throat as it went down. My eyes watered and I coughed. Andrew patted my back, sending warm tingles through my body. The lime wedge found its way into my hand, and I shoved it into my mouth, biting into it to smother some of the harshness of the alcohol.

“Wanted to be a show-off, huh?”

I glared at Andrew, hating when he teased me like that.

My glare faltered when my eyes were drawn to his hands wrapped around his water glass. Maybe the tequila was already warming my blood, but I suddenly felt flushed all over. All I could think about was a time when those hands had danced across my back…

Nope. That thought needed to stop .

Chase was back at the bar, giving me a knowing smile, like he knew where my thoughts had wandered off to. Before I’d started dating this last disaster, I’d been feeling extra vulnerable one day. My intent had been to talk to my friend Nathan about it, but his boyfriend had been the only one awake when I’d stopped by their house. In some ways, it was easier to talk to Chase about my feelings for Andrew because he didn’t know us as well.

“Are you guys going to be at the apartment later?” Chase asked. He and Nathan had finally gotten their own place and were throwing a housewarming party of sorts that evening. They’d been living with Nathan’s parents for a month or so until Nathan could get settled into his new job.

“Yeah. I think we planned on stopping by,” I answered, picking up my water glass and taking a sip. The cool liquid did nothing to calm the fire that was blazing through my body, caused by my lustful thoughts about my best friend.

Andrew chuckled before he stood and pulled me into a hug. I refrained from dwelling on his enticing smell or the sensation of his presence. It was becoming harder and harder not to think about it, but I’d managed it for three years since I’d done the stupidest thing I could’ve done by kissing him. “You’re speaking on my behalf now, are you?”

I pouted. “You’re saying you won’t be there?”

When Andrew released me, he ruffled my hair, a good reminder that we landed firmly in the friendzone. I was more like a brother than anything. It knocked my glasses, and I had to scramble to keep them from falling off my nose. “I didn’t say that.”

Watching him leave, something fluttered in my chest. It was like the kiss never happened, which was what I’d wanted. I didn’t want any awkwardness between us, and it had been there in the first few weeks. He’d been more awkward about it than I had. The act of pretending that I didn’t know what it felt like to have my best friend under me, to have his tongue in my mouth, and his hands on my body, was surprisingly easy. Forgetting it was impossible.