Chapter 1

Andrew

Three Years Ago

C all it cliché, but seeing Brandon sitting there looking so distraught had all my protective instincts firing. I wanted to pound on my chest. Rage. Scream, “Who did this to you?” But that’s not why he’d come to me. My best friend knew me better than that. He knew that if anyone could comfort him after some other guy trampled all over his heart, it was going to be me.

“I just don’t understand what went wrong.” Brandon wiped his nose as he sniffled. The action knocked his glasses askew, and I itched to fix them. His hair was already a wreck from running his hands through it as he paced the length of my room.

I sighed and did my best to let him rant his frustrations. “Maybe nothing went wrong. Some guys are just assholes.”

Brandon paused and sat next to me on the bed. He was so close our thighs almost touched, and his heat radiated between us. My arm wound around his shoulders and I pulled him tightly into my side. He rested his head on my shoulder and shook again, hot tears soaking into the collar of my t-shirt. We’d been close like this since we were kids.

God, I could kill the fucker who dared to hurt my Brandon.

His fist caught in the front of my shirt, bunching the material. When his sobs grew louder, I wrapped my other arm around him and pulled him onto my lap. Brandon’s glasses slid from his face and hit the mattress, but neither of us moved to pick them up. He didn’t need to see at the moment. That wasn’t important.

“He...” Brandon hiccuped. “He said that I was just using him, but he wouldn’t elaborate about what I was using him for.”

My fingers trailed up and down his back in a soothing motion. It wasn’t the first time Brandon had suffered a breakup because of jealousy. I was the source of his problem because people often assumed we were more than friends, but I wasn’t about to point that out.

“He was looking for an excuse. You’re too good for him.” My words were insignificant, as his heart was shattered.

That got a chuckle out of Brandon as he sniffled against my chest. All I could focus on was how damn good he smelled, like fresh linen and herbs. I shouldn’t have been focusing on that because this was my best friend. As much as I craved him, he’d never be anything more. Our friendship was too much to risk.

“Have you ever wondered? ”

His words were so quiet that I almost didn’t hear them. The question bounced around in my head for a moment, but I couldn’t figure out what he was asking me.

“Have I ever wondered what?”

Brandon’s entire body went so stiff he felt like a board in my arms.

“What if...” he sighed, shaking his head. “Forget it. It’s stupid and I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He relaxed and moved to slide from my lap. I refused to accept that. Not tonight.

I grabbed Brandon’s arm before he could slip away entirely. “It’s not stupid. Nothing you could say is. You brought it up for a reason.”

His entire face turned splotchy pink as he nibbled his plump bottom lip. My eyes followed the movement, paying attention to details I had no business paying attention to.

“Would it be so bad?” Brandon’s eyes pinched closed as he leaned in closer. My heart thudded against my rib cage, threatening to break free of my chest. My senses were overwhelmed by his smell the closer he got. “Would one kiss ruin absolutely everything?”

The ringing in my ears had the world spinning around me. Brandon didn’t want to kiss me. It wasn’t real. He wasn’t asking. He couldn’t be. But when he moved even closer, hands resting on my shoulders, the ghost of his breath puffed against my lips and I knew …

This was absolute madness because I’d wanted him for so long. If this blew up into a colossal mistake, I’d never recover. Settling for being a rebound after a bad breakup was out of the question, but when his soft, warm, and oh-so-perfect mouth slanted against mine, I melted for him. My deepest desires overwhelmed me, but I resisted the urge to pull him onto my mattress. It was about Brandon and his needs. This was his healing moment.

His eyes were glassy and clouded, making them unreadable. Did he regret it? Would his need to seek comfort from me mess everything up?

I gasped at being suddenly thrown onto my back, Brandon’s fingers tangling in my hair as our tongues fought for dominance. My hands had slipped beneath his hoodie and swept along the warm skin of his back. His little mewl of contentment made my dick spring to life, and this needed to stop. This wasn’t right and not how I wanted to experience this with him.

Brandon must have realized it as well. When he pulled back, those expressive dark eyes were rimmed with tears.

“Brandon?”

“I’m sorry... I just...” he choked off before scrambling off of me and away from my bed.

“There’s nothing to be—”

“But there is! I’m upset, and I took advantage. Thank you, Andrew, for always being there for me. I took it too far this time. ”

Without hesitation, Brandon left before I could intervene. My lips still tingled from his kiss, leaving me breathless from the encounter.

The room went so silent that I jumped when my door slammed closed. It took everything in me to close my eyes and try to calm myself down.

What happened from here? Where did Brandon and I stand with our friendship? Would anything change between us? Because that kiss was everything.